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Re: Needing support/shamanic healing? katia

Posted by Barbaracat on November 10, 2004, at 13:10:19

In reply to Re: Needing support/shamanic healing?, posted by katia on November 9, 2004, at 18:12:45

> Anyone ever hear or experience shamanic healing? I feel like I've got evil spirits around me - bad energy that is feeding off my energy making me drained. I feel cursed.

Hi Katia,
Me too, but it's not our personal demons - it's collective and it's about time we start recognizing the sick society for what it is. I am so discouraged - a let down after allowing myself to hope during this election. I realy did know better and did not expect it to be any different or even make any difference, but still, I let myself envision a country that wants healing as badly as I do. And it's just not gonna be so. Chase after the perfect med combo if it engages your mind, but realize that only temporary relief lies that way. The chase effectively clouds our awareness of what's really going on, don't you think?

As soon as I read my emails I'm heading off to bed. Maybe I won't wake up any better but at least I'll forget about feeling so crummy for a little while.

It's not just you with your personal evil spirits, although they do delight in fear. It's this whole world and especially this country. I am so disgusted with this place. Such stupidity, such shallowness and greed. Can't stand a culture that admires a twit like Brittney Spears. Sorry to offend anyone, but the chick is a twit. We're supposed to love our enemies, turn the other cheek. But I like The Buddha's concept of 'idiot compassion'. In other words, use discernment to choose the battles you can actually make a dent in instead of wasting time pretending you don't really hate the Orcs who are destroying your Shire and the natural order.

I'm seriously looking for another place to live. I'm filled with disgust and a sense of futility and impotence about doing anything that will make any difference except exhaust me. It's so expensive to live here, jobs are vanishing, healthcare sucks, privacy invaded, we're isolated from each other and foisted upon us the dogma of their very weird and insane god (oh pleeeeze, let them all get Raptured and get the hell out of our faces). We get another four years (at least) of dubbya dum-dum's neo-con agenda - and he's just a puppet tip of the iceberg.

Are we supposed to stay and fight some kind of good fight of which we will not win? Are we supposed to nobly die trying? Or are we supposed to head for a new life where there are still problems, but at least different problems for a change, maybe brighter colors, warmer weather, different music, nicer people? I feel no sense of allegiance to this country any longer, I am 'existentially depressed' and so worn out by it that I haven't yet figured out if I'm personally depressed as well.

Does anyone else see it this way? We can't expect pills to make this feeling go away, it shouldn't go away, because this feeling is a healthy response to an unhealthy existence. Maybe ADs can stop the skid into getting any worse than it actualy is, maybe we can alleviate paralysis, but it actually is this bad. Just look at the environmental reforms undone in the last 4 years. This alone should make any concerned person very depressed. We're not only feeling our own personal despair, but the anguish of a living planet. There is not enough Prozac in the universe to take away that pain. It will not get any better, none of it, there are too many unconscious people, a critical mass of idiots. The fact that our parasitic species will probably go the way of the dinosaurs doesn't fill me with alarm anymore. There's no more sense of desperation to survive, only a black humor and mild curiosity at how we're going to get out of it. Think the Middle East is bad now? Read the Book of Revelation and understand why this Bible-thumping administration and their ilk have no intention whatsoever of promoting peace and are in fact propagating discord. It's 'God's Will'. Fundamentalism is the evil spirit and I don't know of any shaman equipped to handle such a mindless force. Truly, I no longer care if I, our children, or the majority of us lives or dies in this sick society. I'll continue to do the best I can but have adopted an attitutde of no expectations. I don't presume that anyone else will agree with me or join in my efforts. The only difference is that I'm no longer disillusioned.

We're in the Kali Yuga and it's supposed to be like this. It still sucks. But I'm no longer alarmed at my hopelessness, not worried that it's some personal demon that's causing my despair, no longer trying to make it all better, no pill combo that's going to do the work that I doubt I want to do any more. Giving up is freeing and I'm at peace within this groundless turmoil. I won't actively 'do anything' which is just melodramatic and hurtful to those left whome I care about. I wouldn't want them to do that do me. But I won't be surprised at anything that happens from here on out and it's liberating. So be it. - Barbara




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