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Re: Aversions run deep katia

Posted by SUMMER2002 on September 1, 2003, at 19:19:46

In reply to Aversions run deep BarbaraCat, posted by katia on September 1, 2003, at 17:03:33

Hi Ladies and/or Gents:

I am really getting alot out of these posts. Here are my two cents worth. One on drinking the other on transference (spelling? - can't get the spell check to work). My first meeting with my pdoc he discussed transference and how he can/will become many different things to me as I
share my experiences. This has truly been the case and I had a crush on my old pdoc who never explained transference.

Anyway,like many of you I also try to act as normal as possible during the session and downplay my extreme emotions that have occurred over the last week/two weeks/ or sometimes days.

I have emailed my pdoc 4 times in the last 5 days. I've been up and down way too much. One email said ignore the last email because I was in a bad mood when I wrote it. How does someone ignore an email??!! But that was the way I really felt at the time. He called my today after reading all my emails. Did I mention that he had me transcribe the entire last session with him because he was sure I was drifting off - he was, of course, right. He asked me many questions on the phone today which I dutiful answered with yes and no --- no comments. I was a bit surprised that he felt he had to call on Labor Day - but appreciative. I promised to run next meeting and try to talk the whole session. This should be interesting. By the way I did a web search on transference and found some very interesting and enlightening information. Sorry I can't remember the specific site but just do a web search and you should be able to find some sites.

Drinking for me has been a fiasco. I am a binge drinker. When I'm down I have a couple go home and life is good. When I'm up, I drink until there is nothing left to drink. When other people drink they get tired after two or three. At three drinks I kick in and ready to go until the wee hours of the morning. It has caused me so many problems. And I am darn lucky I've never gotten a DUI. I also promised my old pdoc only to have two - but on good nights that has never lasted. Another comment - I may be the only one that loves a hangover. When I was especially bad - racing thoughts and high energy I loved hangovers. It was the only thing that would shut my brain down. It hurt to think and I loved it. I love hangovers when I'm spazzing out. But unfortunately I start to remember all the things I said and did that night before (or what I said and did when I can't remember)and just want to dig another hole and climb in. I've been very good lately and just avoid it all.

Four or five years ago (before I was diagnosed)I was talking with a client. She mentioned that her Significant Other self medicated with alcohal. The light bulb went on and I realized --Oh my gosh that's what I'm doing.

That's all for now folks.





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