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Re: Alcohol Sucks! katia

Posted by BarbaraCat on September 1, 2003, at 16:29:59

In reply to Re: Alcohol Sucks! BarbaraCat, posted by katia on September 1, 2003, at 16:00:23

Thanks, kiddo. I remember your post a while ago on Rational Recovery and, having heard of it myself many years ago, I found the site and spent most of the morning on it. It looks very very good, very different than AA whom they bash with undisguised glee. I tried AA oh, 15 or so years ago and just couldn't stand it. It reminded me of The Stepford Wives, only this was The Stepford Lushes with their cutesy slogans. It seems to help alot of people, but it wasn't for me. I'm committed to doing AVRT (Rational Recovery) which you can even go through on the website, or get the books and/or videos from the privacy of your home (while settling back with a Jack Daniels - no, just kidding). It has no meetings or sponsors. Going to a meeting has been a big problem for me because we live in a rural area which only has AA and everyone knows and gossips about each other, and damned if I'm going to be bumping into my neighbors at the grocery store after sharing 'Hi my name is Barbara and I'm not only a drunk, I'm depressed and bipolar and hate your stupid logging trucks, your 'family tree don't branch' kids, your evangelical horseshit churches - and you too - by the way!' Also, I only have a problem with yummy chardonnay so I never thought it was much a problem I couldn't control. But I sure have been buying that rich buttery brew by the cases lately.

Sorry about losing your post. I'm sure I got it through the ethers anyway. But I know how just one more thing can tip the scales and before you know it, whole tufts of hair on gouged out of your scalp. Been there.

I'm curious about your aversion to laying it on the line with your pdoc, like, Help me, Herr Doctor! I'm sure there's so much more to the story, but it seems like he isn't keeping an eye on you well enough during this crisis period. The best shrink I ever had actually called me a few times a week when I was adjusting to a new med or going through a really rough spell. He was a rare gem but it made a huge difference that he really cared about me and was there for me and besides, knew his stuff and knew how to twiddle so that my med adjustments were as painless as possible. I recall you mentioning that you had a bit of a crush on yours, so maybe this is getting in the way of wanting to appear less than attractive, or bothering him in any way?

But, in the meantime, your 'matey' is probably right about the drinking department. Sigh. It's such a lovely ritual to pass the time with friends having a colorful icy drink, getting silly, bonding. If I could only hold it to one drink and only once a week I'd really be OK. But one always turns to two, etc. - Barbara

> Hi Barb,
> Here's a link:
> I'm have no no idea about the philosophy. It may worth it. It may not.
> It's so hard to remember that we don't have to celebrate "feeling good" and "life" with alcohol. Unfortunately, I think for both of us, it was our medication for so long, it's become a cellular habit.
> hope you're not too hard on yourself.
> Katia




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