Psycho-Babble Medication | about biological treatments | Framed
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Re: basket-case in a wave-pool

Posted by fluffy on August 27, 2003, at 16:35:57

In reply to Re: basket-case in a wave-pool fluffy, posted by Ponder on August 27, 2003, at 14:41:45

Hi Ponder--

Thank you for your almost poetic and thoughtful post (I suppose as your name implies!--ponderous indeed!). I'm so sorry that you lost your career due to your illness. I hope that you are well enough to resume in some capacity. I really don't know how I managed to keep my job. Aside from hallucinations, I had every symptom of a mixed state for days at my job--crying, thinking about suicide, pacing, --you know--excrutiating and devistating. (then a 3 month long depression where I stared into space for hours).

So maybe I am bipolar I. Who knows. I didn't really report everything when I got my diagnosis. But even then, the intern who diagnosed me said I was BPI. It devistated me, as I refused to believe that I was mentally ill, and he revised his diagnosis to BPII since I hadn't been hospitalized. I know I should have been, though. How I survived that episode, I do not know.

I think that a diagnosis can surely change as time goes on. I was diagnosed as first having panic disorder (1st episode), then major depression (2nd episode), then BPII (3rd and most recent full episode). Hopefully, with the aid of medications, a person will not escalate into a new diagnosis. I suppose I should just be happy with being cyclothymic at this point. But I want to test it out a little more and try to get as close to normal as possible. A book that I've been reading ("Bipolar Disorder Survival Guide")states that most BP patients can expect soft cycling, even on medication. I'm going to try to soften my cycling even more, since I'm still having marked impairment with sleep loss, agitation, lethargy, guilt, etc. So I'll definitely let you know how it goes. And thanks for the advice about the Wellbutrin. I had some similar thoughts about maybe adding it if I felt too tired or depressed with the Lithium on board. I just hope I tolerate the Li, and that it works.

Stay well Ponder (and others reading)
I enjoy your thoughts,





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