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Re: Barbara Cat, I need your opinion jrw

Posted by Barbara Cat on July 22, 2003, at 22:24:30

In reply to Re: Barbara Cat, I need your opinion Barbara Cat, posted by jrw on July 22, 2003, at 10:40:30

Hi John,
I take 1-2 tablespoons of Dr. Sears pharmaceutical grade fish oil a day. It's very expensive and Carlson's Lemon Cod Liver Oil is just as good and 1/10th the cost. Liquid is necessary at those doses so be sure to get the lemon flavored. Another thing that's been helping is L-tyrosine, 500mg once or twice a day. It's a precursor to norepinephrine and I feel it's helping alot with mood lifting, but not being speedy. Vitamin B6 helps to catalyze the conversion so it's good to take it with.

I haven't switched to anything else from my corporate daze, not yet. If I'd just stayed in a nice little company doing programming which I enjoyed I'd still be doing it, but I Peter Principled into project management working 50-60 hrs a week for nasty companies whose products I didn't give a rip about. Project Mgmt is probably the worst job I could imagine for myself (I originally thought I was going to be a musician or psychotherapist). I never had the interest, focus or anal-ness to 'succeed' and the pace kept getting worse. Being bipolar does not make for consistency, nit-picky Gantt charts or management presentations. I'd been able to control my mixed states bipolar depressions fairly well, but when I developed severe fibromyalgia and thought I could still push though, my body said 'Nope!'. I started crying in meetings, not meeting deadlines (deadlines, there's a word), and had to stop before being 'let go' (hell, it's being fired). I applied for disability and after 2 years of financial terror, and my husband also being out of work the whole time, it looks like my case was approved. I'm not certain yet but my attorney is. So that will be a relief and will let me start focusing on something different, healthier and more fulfilling.

My plan is to go back to school this Fall in Nutritional Therapy which is something I'm interested in and want to do for myself. At 52 it's pretty scary but I've learned the hard way that I can't do what I just can't do. There has been another gift as well, but of great sorrow to me. My mother was hit by a car while out walking last December and died 5 days later. The loss of her is not worth the estate she left, but even so, her generosity and love continues on and I know that's how she wants me to see her gift to me.

So strange and heartbreaking is this life. Even when we know that there's really only our inner truth and the great intangibles, things always seems to get brought down to money and security - and in this life there IS NO security. It can all evaporate in a minute. If it weren't for these blessings given to me when I didn't trust in any blessings, I don't know where I'd be. It was getting too close to the terror we all seem to have - being a very sick person with no home, no money, no hope. But I'm slowly coming to hope that there is a benevolence in this universe. I just wish it didn't have to take money to calm me down enough to see it.

Tell me about your corporate experience and how you've managed since getting out. I talk to my friends still in that world and, whew, poor people. I'm glad I'm out. - Barbara

> That was great...thanks for taking the time to share that with us. A couple of questions came to mind...what dosage of Omega 3 have you found effective? Also, you mentioned you'd left the corporate world, and that you'd since been financially validated for the move. I never liked that world, either, and left, also - though not "under my own power". What did you switch to? It's always so encouraging to hear of the successful efforts of others who struggle with one hope.
> Thanks,
> John




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