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Re: How much can one recover from suicidal depression? adamie

Posted by Shar on July 15, 2001, at 8:32:11

In reply to How much can one recover from suicidal depression?, posted by adamie on July 14, 2001, at 21:19:50

4 weeks in is still early days. It is not unusual to wait a while longer before getting the full benefit of a med.

When I had experiences of "the bottom falling out" or suddenly being intensely depressed, my pdoc upped my dose a bit, saying it might be the case that the amount I was taking was not getting me thru 24 hours.

I think you are ABSOLUTELY doing the right thing to keep communicating with your fiancee, even if you think it is gibberish. That is an important activity--to not cut yourself off from others. And it sounds like you get a lot of pleasure from your interactions, so keep up the good work.

If after 2-3 more weeks things don't even out at all, you might want to increase your dose slightly--after you've talked to your doc first.

Keep posting here and let us know how you are.

> hi. 4 weeks ago or so my severe depression was severe to the point where every hour was hard to stand. no matter what I never wanted to commit suicide, I am not a religeous person and therefor dont have any assumptions for what happens when we die. The only choice for me has been to get better no matter how torturous each day was. But it was so harddd to bare. It certainly wasn't livable at all. I only endured the torture, 'waiting' due to my desire to get better. This depression was caused by a medication called accutane. When I realized it was affecting my mood I stopped taking it but it was too late. And it actually got worse when I stopped the medication. Some of you may have read my story partially before. the 3 days after stopping the accutane things were horrendous. Emotions diminished so much that I had just about no reaction to anything and my heart was constantly pounding. I could look at my fiance's photo on my computer and all I would see is artifacts and pale discolorization. Now that only happens in the morning to a very mild extent. I am more and more able to see her.
> After those few completely horrendous says the depression got better gradually. So like many cases of accutane caused depression I thought it would go away. As the two weeks went by things got somewhat better. there were some real up periods where i actually felt i was getting normal. then various horrible down periods. it was no longer getting better. and after maybe 4 weeks being off the accutane I started paxil. The depression was really really bad at that point. It was hard to do anything. Including getting out of bed.
> I felt a bit more at peace those following days. I seemed to get a bit better during that first week of paxil. I doubt it was because the paxil had any effect yet. I assume it was because I was having an up peroid or just the accutane leaving my system. Then the second week things were significantly getting better. I was actually able to talk to my fiance somewhat properly. It was the absolute first day I was actually able to 'talk' to her instead of the usual gibberish. we talk online since we live in different countries right now. Before it was soo hard to type and say anything. I felt soo tired to even lift my fingers sometimes, so unmotivated. That day I was actually able to talk to her. And then the same the next day. It was actually even better. The days seemed to be getting better. Then the next day it was the best yet. I really felt my best during that second week. And the next day I was supossed to go to a theme park and I was actually looking forward to it. My depression was actually really improving and I actually felt a little 'great' that afternoon as I talked with my fiance and it was like I was really going to make a full recovery. I felt so good, how could I not? I was really feeling many emotions. Then the next day it was a little worse but good regardless. and then the next day I was still doing well and talking with my fiance at 5pm. and then at 7pm I suddenly began to feel worseeee. and it lasted. I was feeling quite bad for the next few days. then it got a little better again.
> And now I am here. I am feeling not too bad but still very depressed and lacking in emotions, expecially loving ones, severe lack of concentration, ability to think and remember. 19 or so days into the paxil hoping it will work soon. I feel it will, odds are it will but just how much of a recovery can a person make with these anti depressants? Surely the opinion from this forum may be a somewhat biased one. Because all the people who get much better or even fully better surely would be living their lives instead of posting on a forum which deals with issues of still being depressed. But I am still very interested in what you people think.
> In clinical studies a person responding from medication is defined as at least 50% improvement in symptoms. And remission I am not sure what that means. A Hamilton Depression Scale score of less than 8? Just how much do people often recover from depression? I was extremely extremely happy before. I couldn't be any happier. Is there a realistic chance for me to feel that again? I hope I will feel how completely perfect my fiance is again. to me she has always been. I 'know' she is. I just cant 'feel' things too much
> And regarding major depression. What I am having is probably just a major depressive episode right? As in this episode will end and I will be completely normal in time? And then of course there's that 50% of having another episode. Am I correct on this? That my depression should completely in time go away? While medication will make it better, it will go away on it's own later? And then of course possibly come back?
> Please reply. Thank you for reading.




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