Psycho-Babble Social Thread 1106803

Shown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

how do you react

Posted by rjlockhart37 on November 16, 2019, at 16:13:58

i'll just post this, i've thought about it, who cares ill just post it, usally alot of times in my life, there were people who said lowering statements, or things under their breathe. I grew up, the false statement of "people are not looking at you, your self councious" that is the most false statement there is, i walk into places and people just....stare at me, and no its not like get angry or it's just.....i wonder why im diffrent, ill just be walking and getting in the car and people will stare at me. I'm not gonna brag, and do not take this as any flattery saying, i am chunky right now, but alot of times people have told me that i was handsome, and attractive. Do not let that be brag statement, that is how it's been said. But i've gained some weight, and if i reduced my body weight maybe i would be more handsome, or good looking. But it's just...maybe staying at home and away from people for a long time, i walk out and ... ill be in line at a store, i will glance away for a seecond and see someone just looking at me. It happens all the time. So it's like before i leave the house, i like to dress nice even when going to the store, and not be rubbish or unflattering. In school, same thing, people would stare at me, then wisper in ears, and hear gossip about me that was not true. I think your appearance can give an impression on people, the way you walk or appear that's how people see you. I've always been told im wierd, kinda out there....truth is .. sometimes i write weird things in the feeling of the momeont, and then regret what i posted and get depressed. Or going to a social and getting lost in a conversation, im not a social event person, i don't like going to parties, i don't care if im not invited, i don't like to go. I have to put on a social impression that's harrd to maintain, think practicing and getting the feeling of how your gonna to someone is importantm than just ... saying somethign that disparts the conversation. I can do soial event personas, but i don't like too, too much energy and hard to maintain.

Just...when your young, people are open to say you can talk to me about things, teenage years when their growing. I'm in my 30s, and have deal with turmoil and keep it inside. Even like a best friend, just like i don't want to totally open up. I keep a distance. But all i can say is....don't be like people in the world, be who you are, and don't forget it.

But changing the topic....and don't relate what i wrote above, how doy you react when someone makes you mad? confrontational? develop revenge, deep hate, or just let it blow off....

 

Re: how do you react

Posted by alexandra_k on November 17, 2019, at 3:07:29

In reply to how do you react, posted by rjlockhart37 on November 16, 2019, at 16:13:58

I think sometimes people stare a bit at me, too. I remember seeing pictures of my eldest sister and I got the impression people stared at her a bit, too. She was the the only one in her school picture that had... Something attention capturing. I don't remember what it was. But something that made her look a bit different.

I think I stand out a bit, too, as being a bit different. I don't mirror myself on other people, I just be myself. Most other people don't do that, it seems to me, they are continually engaging in negotiations with with other people so they blend in to / in with them. Whether it be clothes they are wearing or exercises they are doing or whatever.

I think when I was younger I made more of an effort to blend in with a herd. I guess I actually wanted to hang out with peers more. I guess I saw value in having a herd. As I get older I find it more... Empty. I guess the people I used to hang with developed into other things... Nobody I knew chose to walk a similar path to me...

I find it hard when people can't let me be free. I mean to say I find it hard when people cannot handle the fact that I am not looking to boss another person around. I am not looking for another person to boss me around. I could care less the games other people are playing at the park. Let them do whatever they want. Let me do whatever I want. I don't need anybody else to make me feel good about me. I don't need anybody elses permission.

I get mad that people can't resist trying to get me to join in their games... I get mad that people can't resist trying to boss me around...

It is better in the park than in a gym or whatever. It is harder for people to come up to me and start bossing me around in the park. Harder... But not impossible.

I find most people are altogether too concerned with what most people are doing / what most people are up to. So I don't worry too much what most people think of me. I find it hard with groups of girls who tend to... Shriek. When they are anxious. For reassurance. I find it hard on the ears and I find it hard not to physically cringe away.

I find it hard the indirect communication that people have where one person says something to another person but the comment is directed to me. I mean, that can be used to good effect. But it can be not so good. I don't know sometimes whether they are intending to communicate with me or are just... Reacting. Without thinking. Most people really don't think, I need to remember. Or think by way of speaking so not really thinking first.

It can feel nice to hang with people who you can be comfortable around and not feel like you have to put on an act to make them happy or whatever. Just be yourself and be comfortable being yourself.

I haven't felt that in a long time. I guess that's why I don't spend much time with people, anymore.

I am sad I didn't meet people... More people... Like me. In some sense. Over the course of my life.

 

Re: how do you react

Posted by alexandra_k on November 17, 2019, at 3:18:41

In reply to Re: how do you react, posted by alexandra_k on November 17, 2019, at 3:07:29

Of course they think they are being 'friendly'. But, really, it is about 'you have to play our game. You have to stop playing your game and play our game'. It isn't friendly when I don't have a choice. Of course it is the park and they can't make me play with them or chase me out of the park. Can they? We will see. I guess usually it takes... I'd say 1 month. People escalate in their behavior and it is usually after 1 month that people decide that if I will not stop what I am doing and play their game with them then I will not be allowed to play my game at all.

I guess we will see...

I don't know if people would react the same to a guy. I don't know if people would react the same to me if they found me to be physically ugly.

I get mad when people try and tell me what to do. Especially when they don't know it when they see it. I get mad when people who don't know how to manage their own budget get given control of mine. I get mad when people who cannot produce their own research get put in charge of the production of mine. And so on... I have been feeling really very mad over the last year as people refuse to sign off on the work that I have done. People try and pass themselves off as having the option and if I don't approach them all supplicant or offer to suck their dick or whatever... Then they won't sign me off at all.

I am mad the office of the ombudsman hasn't met any of the deadlines they are supposed to on when this step or the next step of the complaints and investigation process is supposed to occur...

I am mad that I have to go and beg for things like cooking pots from Work and Income because the NZ government refuses to supply me with a living wage.

I am mad that they pay exhorbitant salaries to incompetents.

I am mad that the blame some student for leaving the blowtorch on and burning the convention centre becaues they were too stupid to see an underbid for a contract when presented with one...

I am angry that good people cannot do business with them and I am so deeply ashamed of this country.

Just been watching it gurgle down the toilet on my return. Everything getting sh*tt**r and sh*tt**r and sh*tt**r. We've been developing backwards by a bunch of stupid incompetents.

That makes me mad.

For sure.

They didn't actually want me to come back here. I was supposed to get employment overseas and send money back to pay off the student loan.

What would they have done with the student loan money?

I guess it would have been (in total) maybe 1/3 of the salary of a politician over the course of a year?

Anyway... They didn't want me to come back here. It couldn't really be any more clear.

 

Re: how do you react

Posted by jay2112 on November 29, 2019, at 19:09:40

In reply to how do you react, posted by rjlockhart37 on November 16, 2019, at 16:13:58

> i'll just post this, i've thought about it, who cares ill just post it, usally alot of times in my life, there were people who said lowering statements, or things under their breathe. I grew up, the false statement of "people are not looking at you, your self councious" that is the most false statement there is, i walk into places and people just....stare at me, and no its not like get angry or it's just.....i wonder why im diffrent, ill just be walking and getting in the car and people will stare at me. I'm not gonna brag, and do not take this as any flattery saying, i am chunky right now, but alot of times people have told me that i was handsome, and attractive. Do not let that be brag statement, that is how it's been said. But i've gained some weight, and if i reduced my body weight maybe i would be more handsome, or good looking. But it's just...maybe staying at home and away from people for a long time, i walk out and ... ill be in line at a store, i will glance away for a seecond and see someone just looking at me. It happens all the time. So it's like before i leave the house, i like to dress nice even when going to the store, and not be rubbish or unflattering. In school, same thing, people would stare at me, then wisper in ears, and hear gossip about me that was not true. I think your appearance can give an impression on people, the way you walk or appear that's how people see you. I've always been told im wierd, kinda out there....truth is .. sometimes i write weird things in the feeling of the momeont, and then regret what i posted and get depressed. Or going to a social and getting lost in a conversation, im not a social event person, i don't like going to parties, i don't care if im not invited, i don't like to go. I have to put on a social impression that's harrd to maintain, think practicing and getting the feeling of how your gonna to someone is importantm than just ... saying somethign that disparts the conversation. I can do soial event personas, but i don't like too, too much energy and hard to maintain.
>
> Just...when your young, people are open to say you can talk to me about things, teenage years when their growing. I'm in my 30s, and have deal with turmoil and keep it inside. Even like a best friend, just like i don't want to totally open up. I keep a distance. But all i can say is....don't be like people in the world, be who you are, and don't forget it.
>
> But changing the topic....and don't relate what i wrote above, how doy you react when someone makes you mad? confrontational? develop revenge, deep hate, or just let it blow off....
>
>

Well, for some reason, and I think this may be at the heart of mental illness, is that we "think" people are "thinking" about us way more than actually is. It is at the heart of obsession and compulsion. Having said that, though, when you do hear other's "chatter", or when some are blatantly rude and tell you to your face, there are a zillion reactions we could make, and many of those can make us feel terrible. I wish people would learn emotional-intelligence and put away their so-called "tell it like it is..". Millennials seem good at reading other people..at emotional intelligence..it's funny, everyone seems young now that I am on the cusp of a few weeks shy of half a century old! Yikes!! lol...

 

Re: how do you react

Posted by rjlockhart37 on December 11, 2019, at 2:06:55

In reply to Re: how do you react, posted by jay2112 on November 29, 2019, at 19:09:40

sometimes when people are mean or give direct looks like they don't like me, or if they screwed me over, sometimes i will think of the most awful thing to do them, but then after short while i realize that is thinking in rage, or anger, and sometimes when people do extreme things, 1 they settled and did not regret any of their actions, 2 after seeing or thinking something bad, you regret it, like a moral compass. And when realize you've done something so bad, you regret it. I think it's a reaction when people are threatned or faught with to react, and some people back off and don't do anything, others act back on what wrong they have done, then there's some people who do the most evil conspiring things that they do not regret one thing of it. Black heart.

i read scripture and the 10 commandments said do not avenge, in a way like they did something horrible to you, and you go after them, it said do not evenge because the lord on the last day determine that on their accounts on if they are written on lambs book of life, or thrown lake of fire. But that's just my view aas a christain, but i had so many people, i think revenge, or avenging someone who has done you wrong is part of the human instinct. But ... im a soft heart, ill regret any thing evil done.

but i think the best is to endure, let insults or wraath from someone slide off your back, and let it go....even with a strong instinct to do the same thing back.

forgiveness, and not let hate get into the heart which will cause corruption and blackness in the soul


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