Psycho-Babble Social Thread 1099195

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Re: Are you okay scott?

Posted by SLS on July 19, 2018, at 11:47:45

In reply to Re: Are you okay scott?, posted by Lamdage22 on July 19, 2018, at 5:28:05

> Its your life. What is left that you didnt try yet?

I am less depresssed on Effexor 75 mg/day, but I feel zombified. My doctor wants me to reduce the dosage.


- Scott

 

Re: Are you okay scott? SLS

Posted by baseball55 on July 19, 2018, at 17:46:50

In reply to Re: Are you okay scott? baseball55, posted by SLS on July 18, 2018, at 8:56:38

Yes . I have been in that vegetative state. Parnate was the only thing that helped. Also abilify (but the weight gain was insane). I think others always have the urge to suggest ways to "snap out of it," even when none of that worked for us.
One difference, I think, between you and I is that I would "snap out of it" enough to get agitated and consumed with suicidal plans. I tried twice to kill myself and spent months in psych wards. But in those periods, I was able to talk and reach out.
I've been okay with only short-lived episodes of severe depression over the last four years. And I forget, sometimes, just how horrible it was and how hopeless I felt.
I just get concerned when you say things like you did in an earlier post (can't recall your exact words, but something about how you had to accept that this misery would be all you could expect(?))
These are the kind of thoughts that lead to suicide and I hope you don't kill yourself.
Are you ever suicidal?

 

Re: Are you okay scott?

Posted by Lamdage22 on July 19, 2018, at 21:24:23

In reply to Re: Are you okay scott?, posted by SLS on July 19, 2018, at 11:47:45

At least you are under the care of a doctor. You could also get on Skype with people despite your "vegetative" state. Possibly even a psychologist. I think you could use relieving conversations even though you may not be able to do alot of therapy. But thats just one professional opinion of that PhD anyway.

 

Re: Are you okay scott?

Posted by Lamdage22 on July 20, 2018, at 0:05:09

In reply to Re: Are you okay scott?, posted by Lamdage22 on July 19, 2018, at 21:24:23

You probably need to do more than just finding the right med to reach remission. Thats the nature of human beings.

 

Re: Are you okay scott?

Posted by Lamdage22 on July 20, 2018, at 0:07:31

In reply to Re: Are you okay scott?, posted by Lamdage22 on July 20, 2018, at 0:05:09

> You probably need to do more than just finding the right med to reach remission. Thats the nature of human beings.

Temporarily you may reach it but finding the right med wont solve all of your problems. Be realistic

 

Re: Are you okay scott? Lamdage22

Posted by SLS on July 20, 2018, at 7:26:35

In reply to Re: Are you okay scott?, posted by Lamdage22 on July 20, 2018, at 0:07:31

> > You probably need to do more than just finding the right med to reach remission. Thats the nature of human beings.
>
> Temporarily you may reach it but finding the right med wont solve all of your problems. Be realistic

As I've mentioned before, I believe in, and have used, psychotherapy as one tool. I've used exercise as another. Diet, too. As with healthy people, life comes with challenges and issues to be dealt with. Always. These are not the things that get in my way. I am sure that my conception of remission and how life can be experienced without bipolar depression is not unrealistic. I have had brief remissions before, and the world becomes a very different place to live in. Normal issues become easy to deal with. Challenges are not so insurmountable. It feels good to work for things. Even cleaning my apartment becomes rewarding.

If you had a severe case of the flu and were unable to get out of bed or think straight and function, would it be unrealistic to expect that you would feel better once the infection passed? Would you expect to function as well after the infection as you did before the infection? If symptoms persisted, how would you know? Would you be able to remember what it felt like to be without these symptoms and live life as you did before the infection? Would it frustrate you to not be able to climb a flight of stairs because of a lack of energy and strength? Would you accept this or would you continue to seek medical treatment?


- Scott

 

Re: Are you okay scott?

Posted by Lamdage22 on July 20, 2018, at 9:00:35

In reply to Re: Are you okay scott? Lamdage22, posted by SLS on July 20, 2018, at 7:26:35

I dont want to argue with you. I think i would only make you mad at me and it wouldnt help neither you nor me.

I just ask myself: What is the difference between being outright lazy and being lazy because of depression? Is there a difference?

 

Re: Are you okay scott?

Posted by Lamdage22 on July 20, 2018, at 9:04:22

In reply to Re: Are you okay scott?, posted by Lamdage22 on July 20, 2018, at 9:00:35

Do successful people always have good brain chemistry and lazy people always have a bad one?

I dont think so

 

Re: Are you okay scott?

Posted by Lamdage22 on July 20, 2018, at 9:21:42

In reply to Re: Are you okay scott?, posted by Lamdage22 on July 20, 2018, at 9:04:22

To me waiting to see a therapist because of illness is like having a cold and not wiping your nose because you are going to get antibiotics. I dont like the state you are in and i hope something good comes out of it.

Did you ever do trazodone? Oddly, it is pretty helpful to me. Do you think Rapastinel may be a game changer for you?

 

Re: Are you okay scott? SLS

Posted by alexandra_k on July 20, 2018, at 9:59:09

In reply to Re: Are you okay scott? Lamdage22, posted by SLS on July 20, 2018, at 7:26:35

> I am sure that my conception of remission and how life can be experienced without bipolar depression is not unrealistic. I have had brief remissions before, and the world becomes a very different place to live in. Normal issues become easy to deal with. Challenges are not so insurmountable. It feels good to work for things. Even cleaning my apartment becomes rewarding.

You are reminding me of something that I have experienced when it comes to features of my environment.

I was in a place where I really did not feel okay, at all. I didn't have the personal space that I needed. I lived in a situation where I had a shared communal kitchen and I really just needed to not have people contact. Or I lived in a tiny little studio apartment and there was a constant succession of partying or screaming or yipping or squawking from people upstairs or downstairs or through paper thin walls or through single paned windows.

I remember saying to people (anyone who would listen) that I just needed a quiet place away from the noises of unsupervised teenagers / very young adults.

And 'rubbish rubbish rubbish pooh pooh pooh you are asking too much, you are being unreasonable, whatever kind of upset you think this is causing you this is not causing you there is something wrong with you'.

And it turned out...

They were wrong.

Because when my environment shifted all that anxiety and stress and agitated pacing and feeling like I wanted to gnaw my arm off or scratch my face off or bang my head... All of that behavior (which is typical for animals that are kept in a over-crowded state where they are prevented from engaging in 'natural behavior') all of that... Simply melted away. For really.

And, of course, that's why living in the inner city slums was only supposed to be temporary. And why people pay so much money for million dollar houses in adjacent suburbs that are quieter for being priced so as to keep the masses of teenagers out.

My point (in case it is getting lost, here) is that I think I get what you mean about feeling like things aren't okay... And feeling like things, sometimes, feel better. And yeah, sometimes they just do.

I personally found that medication messed with me rather a lot. Changes to medication took me quite some time to adapt or adjust to, I mean.

When I quit smoking I felt like a whole different person and I didn't think I was ever going to come right. I didn't think I was ever going to be able to read, again, or to engage in focused work. To write philosophy. I thought all of that was lost forever because it really genuinely was impossible for me for more than a few years.

And now I can do it... But I don't want to do it. But I'm doing it. Because I can make myself do things that are hard. Because I'm (mostly) not lazy... Mostly... But there really was a time... For a few years... When I really couldn't do it.

Could I have done it for a million bucks?

Possibly.

I'm not sure what that shows, either. That's a massive alteration to the incentive structure. The things that can be brought with that.

Hells, that would buy enough methamphetamine (or whatever) to make anything temporarily enjoyable... To get one through...

But that isn't the point...

That isn't the thing to be doing... To help...

I don't know. I'm just trying to not tell you to do x and y and z to make things better because sometimes... I don't know... SOmetimes acceptance is change? When it's not the 'party line' any rate.

So...

About them cars. Are you into cars? I ask because I am sort of into motorcycles. Mostly transport necessity, though. But they are kind of fun. LIke a mechanical horse that doesn't crap anywhere. Or that cr*ps all over the environment and is everybody elses problem rather than mine. Heh.

 

Re: Are you okay scott? Lamdage22

Posted by baseball55 on July 20, 2018, at 17:04:18

In reply to Re: Are you okay scott?, posted by Lamdage22 on July 20, 2018, at 9:04:22

> Do successful people always have good brain chemistry and lazy people always have a bad one?
>
> I dont think so
>
There is a big difference between being lazy and being felled by severe depression. I am not the least bit lazy (well maybe a bit) and I managed, when I was depressed to do the minimal work I needed to do my job. I am an academic and have nearly five months a year off from teaching. I dragged myself to work so that I wouldn't leave 100 students without a grade during the semesters, then spent the winter and summer breaks in bed or in the hospital. Vegetative depression is not laziness. It's an illness.

 

Re: Are you okay scott?

Posted by sigismund on July 20, 2018, at 21:44:53

In reply to Re: Are you okay scott?, posted by Lamdage22 on July 20, 2018, at 9:04:22

>Do successful people always have good brain chemistry and lazy people always have a bad one?

Being paid and respected is good for the mood.

 

Re: Are you okay scott?

Posted by Lamdage22 on July 21, 2018, at 4:45:21

In reply to Re: Are you okay scott?, posted by sigismund on July 20, 2018, at 21:44:53

It is pretty futile to argue about this as it wont help to do so. I will just be here to support if it is needed.

 

Re: Are you okay scott?

Posted by Lamdage22 on July 21, 2018, at 8:36:45

In reply to Re: Are you okay scott?, posted by Lamdage22 on July 21, 2018, at 4:45:21

Scott, how do you even do stuff like cleaning, taking the trash out, cooking? I can tell you one thing: Here in Germany there is lots more social support. Its why i left the US. You wouldnt believe how effective social support can be. What options do you have to get a little help?

 

Re: Are you okay scott?

Posted by alexandra_k on July 23, 2018, at 4:43:20

In reply to Re: Are you okay scott?, posted by Lamdage22 on July 20, 2018, at 9:00:35

> I dont want to argue with you. I think i would only make you mad at me and it wouldnt help neither you nor me.
>
> I just ask myself: What is the difference between being outright lazy and being lazy because of depression? Is there a difference?

Hey Lamdage,

I really appreciate your input, here. You knew Scott, much better than me, and your comments to that effect helped me see that I needed to read back, some, to try and understand what was going on for him...

And I have enjoyed reading your posts about how things are for you with respect to supportive communities... And features of them, and hwo they might work / and or come to work better.

Different people are in different places, and different people have different things to offer...

What I always liked so very much about Babble was how there were people with different perspectives... And then differnet people would post differnt things... ANd then you got to choose for yourself what to resonate with and what to bounce from. And all of that was invalusable when it came to self-defining...

And it was genuinely better than having a single clinician (in some respects -- but not all) for providing a variety of options for you to choose your own adventure in what it is to go on...

It sounds to me like you have some good parental support. Some good parental financial support... And they are trying to help you... And you are trying to help you, too, when it comes to you finding a living situation that is appropriately balanced between support for you and independence for you. And that is cool. Everyone has their own journeys and they are all cool in the sense that everyone really rather legitimately has their own journeys...

But people will resonate more or less depending on whether there is conflicting or complimentary things going on for them in their lives...


I am glad you are here :-)

 

Re: Are you okay scott?

Posted by Lamdage22 on July 23, 2018, at 9:38:02

In reply to Re: Are you okay scott?, posted by alexandra_k on July 23, 2018, at 4:43:20

Thanks:) I think we should all support Scott because he is very generous.

 

Re: Are you okay scott?

Posted by Lamdage22 on July 23, 2018, at 9:58:13

In reply to Re: Are you okay scott?, posted by Lamdage22 on July 23, 2018, at 9:38:02

Well i do settle for less than remission... much less. I am looking forwar to rapastinel. I wonder how many people will get their lives back here.

 

Re: Are you okay scott? Lamdage22

Posted by SLS on July 23, 2018, at 17:32:25

In reply to Re: Are you okay scott?, posted by Lamdage22 on July 23, 2018, at 9:38:02

> Thanks:) I think we should all support Scott because he is very generous.

I very much appreciate that.

I saw my doctor today. After discussing my recent reactions to Trintellix and Effexor, he decided that it was worth restarting Trintellix using low dosages.


- Scott

 

Re: Are you okay scott?

Posted by Lamdage22 on July 28, 2018, at 2:27:26

In reply to Re: Are you okay scott? Lamdage22, posted by SLS on July 23, 2018, at 17:32:25

Ok Scott. Do you expect Rapastinel to work for you? Its quite a wait but it will eventually come around.

 

Re: Are you okay scott? Lamdage22

Posted by SLS on July 28, 2018, at 7:29:34

In reply to Re: Are you okay scott?, posted by Lamdage22 on July 28, 2018, at 2:27:26

> Ok Scott. Do you expect Rapastinel to work for you? Its quite a wait but it will eventually come around.

A few years ago, I tried intranasal ketamine. I did not respond to it at all, despite dosing everyday for two weeks.

Have you been following apimostinel?


- Scott

 

Re: Are you okay scott?

Posted by Lamdage22 on July 28, 2018, at 8:09:53

In reply to Re: Are you okay scott? Lamdage22, posted by SLS on July 28, 2018, at 7:29:34

Yes but that will take a long time.

 

Re: Are you okay scott?

Posted by Lamdage22 on July 31, 2018, at 10:14:34

In reply to Re: Are you okay scott?, posted by Lamdage22 on July 28, 2018, at 8:09:53

Whats the word? Did you ever try blueberries? It sounds stupid but it really helps me. If i go two days without it i feel like trash.

Sometimes its really simple things that can help.

 

I hope i didnt offend you

Posted by Lamdage22 on August 18, 2018, at 4:33:54

In reply to Re: Are you okay scott?, posted by Lamdage22 on July 31, 2018, at 10:14:34

Hey Scott,

my views are somewhat harsh i reckon. I was just trying to help because it looked like medication cant get you out of this trap. I think you will eventually find something to get you going and then you can work on your life again. Even if its Nardil and an antipsychotic like Saphris.

What are your latest considerations? Do you get your day to day chores done?

Lamdage

 

Re: I hope i didnt offend you

Posted by SLS on August 26, 2018, at 13:08:25

In reply to I hope i didnt offend you, posted by Lamdage22 on August 18, 2018, at 4:33:54

> Hey Scott,
>
> my views are somewhat harsh i reckon. I was just trying to help because it looked like medication cant get you out of this trap. I think you will eventually find something to get you going and then you can work on your life again. Even if its Nardil and an antipsychotic like Saphris.
>
> What are your latest considerations? Do you get your day to day chores done?
>
> Lamdage

Hi Lamdage.

No offense taken. I'm not sure why you would think what you wrote would offend me. I am grateful for your concern and ideas.

I'm sorry to take so long to reply to your post.

I am experiencing lots of anxiety. It is unpleasant to say the least. I think it is a residual withdrawal effect from discontinuing Trintellix. I'm not sure. I get very little done. The whole summer has been empty for me. My plans are to try Effexor again beginning at 37.5 mg/day and then move on to Nardil should Effexor not work.

Thanks.


- Scott

 

Re: I hope i didnt offend you

Posted by Lamdage22 on August 26, 2018, at 23:58:34

In reply to Re: I hope i didnt offend you, posted by SLS on August 26, 2018, at 13:08:25

That sounds good. Do you still like Saphris? They only approved it for mania over here and not for psychosis.

I am looking if i can get Xenon therapy ahead of time


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