Psycho-Babble Social Thread 1100401

Shown: posts 1 to 25 of 27. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

Experiencing success with TMS

Posted by Clearskies on August 17, 2018, at 17:31:31

I cant quite believe it. I had my 8th of 30 45-minute sessions of transcranial magnetic stimulation today. Its prohibitively expensive. Although its covered by my insurance under Medicare, my co-pay for each day is $40. Thats Monday through Friday, for 6 weeks. If an angel had not gifted me the cost of the treatment, I would not be able to have it done.

Without a doubt, it is working. Im simply more productive, and less full of dread about things that need doing. Im taking it easy, as instructed. The sessions leave me quite tired.

But a cautious wow! that something is really, actually, working. I kiss the feet of the memory of Michael Faraday.

 

Re: Experiencing success with TMS

Posted by alexandra_k on August 19, 2018, at 2:45:48

In reply to Experiencing success with TMS, posted by Clearskies on August 17, 2018, at 17:31:31

glad to hear you are having good experiences :-)

 

Re: Experiencing success with TMS Clearskies

Posted by SLS on August 19, 2018, at 8:04:10

In reply to Experiencing success with TMS, posted by Clearskies on August 17, 2018, at 17:31:31

> I cant quite believe it. I had my 8th of 30 45-minute sessions of transcranial magnetic stimulation today. Its prohibitively expensive. Although its covered by my insurance under Medicare, my co-pay for each day is $40. Thats Monday through Friday, for 6 weeks. If an angel had not gifted me the cost of the treatment, I would not be able to have it done.
>
> Without a doubt, it is working. Im simply more productive, and less full of dread about things that need doing. Im taking it easy, as instructed. The sessions leave me quite tired.
>
> But a cautious wow! that something is really, actually, working. I kiss the feet of the memory of Michael Faraday.

That's great news!


- Scott

 

Re: Experiencing success with TMS Clearskies

Posted by alexandra_k on August 21, 2018, at 0:23:12

In reply to Experiencing success with TMS, posted by Clearskies on August 17, 2018, at 17:31:31

Where do you get that done?

I've only seen one, in these parts, as part of physiotherapy. They seemed pretty excited about having one, I think it was fairly new for them.

It was around the time there was a bit of a flurry about deep brain stimulation on these boards, I think.

I remember thinking... Recording electrode, check. Electrode for theraputic purposes (acupuncture), check. Hmm... I wonder if physiotherapists can insert electrodes, uh, acupuncture needles into the brain for theraputic effect... As in deep brain stimulation. Or as in just brain stimulation. Getting people with parkinson's moving, or whatever.

I don't know the answer to that.

When I was in Australia there was some physicist who was looking for volunteers for his brain magnet. He thought interrupting the frontal lobes (I think it was frontal lobes) unleashed creativity. Not sure how hard it was for him to find volunteers... Not sure what he meant by creativity, even. Hand drawing, or something.

 

Re: Experiencing success with TMS Clearskies

Posted by beckett2 on August 22, 2018, at 2:20:22

In reply to Experiencing success with TMS, posted by Clearskies on August 17, 2018, at 17:31:31

Yay! Great news :)

 

Re: Experiencing success with TMS alexandra_k

Posted by Clearskies on August 23, 2018, at 14:55:41

In reply to Re: Experiencing success with TMS Clearskies, posted by alexandra_k on August 21, 2018, at 0:23:12

> Where do you get that done?
>
Its done in an office where my pdoc practices, and is offered as an adjunct to treatment.

> I've only seen one, in these parts, as part of physiotherapy. They seemed pretty excited about having one, I think it was fairly new for them.
>
> It was around the time there was a bit of a flurry about deep brain stimulation on these boards, I think.
>
> I remember thinking... Recording electrode, check. Electrode for theraputic purposes (acupuncture), check. Hmm... I wonder if physiotherapists can insert electrodes, uh, acupuncture needles into the brain for theraputic effect... As in deep brain stimulation. Or as in just brain stimulation. Getting people with parkinson's moving, or whatever.
>
> I don't know the answer to that.
>
> When I was in Australia there was some physicist who was looking for volunteers for his brain magnet. He thought interrupting the frontal lobes (I think it was frontal lobes) unleashed creativity. Not sure how hard it was for him to find volunteers... Not sure what he meant by creativity, even. Hand drawing, or something.
>
>

This device is a magnetic coil that sits at the end of an arm (looks like a dentists xray machine). Your head is initially mapped and the target area of the brain identified with brief pulses of electromagnetic energy directed at the area. They look for a motor response of the twitching of your right hand thumb, as its adjacent to the target area.

The electromagnetic pulses briefly reverse the polarity of the neurons in that area of the brain. Its where (I was told) dopamine and serotonin are produced. The agitation of the neurons cause activity in that area, and under-producing or dormant neurons begin to make the neurotransmitters again.

Thats the basics of the treatment. Many of us experience sharp pain at the surface area of the scalp where the pulses are directed. I premedicate with acetaminophen and make sure Im well hydrated. There are no after effects, side effects, or pain post treatment. I cant carry on a conversation during the 45 minute daily sessions.

My moods have been all over the place!! Last 2 days Ive been inconsolably sad, crying. Still, Im much more functional and am getting more done at home with less effort.

The coil is placed against the left side of my head for treating depression. Its now been approved for treating OCD by the FDA.

 

Re: Experiencing success with TMS

Posted by alexandra_k on August 23, 2018, at 22:32:50

In reply to Re: Experiencing success with TMS alexandra_k, posted by Clearskies on August 23, 2018, at 14:55:41

> Its done in an office where my pdoc practices, and is offered as an adjunct to treatment.

I see. I see a place in Auckland similarly offering it as an adjunct to Psychiatry. I didn't know of that use of it.

> Its where (I was told) dopamine and serotonin are produced. The agitation of the neurons cause activity in that area, and under-producing or dormant neurons begin to make the neurotransmitters again.

Hmm.


> Many of us experience sharp pain at the surface area of the scalp where the pulses are directed.

Hmm.

> Still, Im much more functional and am getting more done at home with less effort.

Well, that is good. I am glad you are feeling helped.

 

Re: Experiencing success with TMS

Posted by alexandra_k on August 23, 2018, at 22:45:48

In reply to Re: Experiencing success with TMS, posted by alexandra_k on August 23, 2018, at 22:32:50

I am dubious about that mechanism of action - but I think there is a lot that we don't know in the world, and if you think it helps you, then I surely don't know any better and I am glad that it does.

 

Re: Experiencing success with TMS alexandra_k

Posted by Clearskies on August 23, 2018, at 22:54:21

In reply to Re: Experiencing success with TMS, posted by alexandra_k on August 23, 2018, at 22:45:48

> I am dubious about that mechanism of action - but I think there is a lot that we don't know in the world, and if you think it helps you, then I surely don't know any better and I am glad that it does.
>
>
>
>
Its EXTREMELY dubious science!! This is based on the work of Michael Faraday. Yeah, that Faraday. 1831.
Perhaps its that theyve figured out how to target the charge at specific areas that make it effective? Im extremely skeptical...but cannot attribute my recent improvement to anything else.
Maybe, he was on to something.

 

Re: Experiencing success with TMS Clearskies

Posted by alexandra_k on August 24, 2018, at 18:20:01

In reply to Re: Experiencing success with TMS alexandra_k, posted by Clearskies on August 23, 2018, at 22:54:21

> This is based on the work of Michael Faraday. Yeah, that Faraday. 1831.

Because it involves electricty?

> Perhaps its that theyve figured out how to target the charge at specific areas that make it effective?

Perhaps. You can't directly affect any of the deeper brain structures, though, only the superficial neurones of the cerebral cortex.

> Im extremely skeptical...but cannot attribute my recent improvement to anything else.

Well, if you cannot attribute your recent improvement in function to anything else, and you are able to afford this, then more power to you.

Have you been acting less, uh, inhibited than usual? I mean... Less self critical? More behaviorally spontaneous?

Just wondering.

 

Re: Experiencing success with TMS alexandra_k

Posted by Clearskies on August 24, 2018, at 21:31:50

In reply to Re: Experiencing success with TMS Clearskies, posted by alexandra_k on August 24, 2018, at 18:20:01

> > This is based on the work of Michael Faraday. Yeah, that Faraday. 1831.
>
> Because it involves electricty?
>
He championed the theory of electromagnetism.

> > Perhaps its that theyve figured out how to target the charge at specific areas that make it effective?
>
> Perhaps. You can't directly affect any of the deeper brain structures, though, only the superficial neurones of the cerebral cortex.
>
Right.

> > Im extremely skeptical...but cannot attribute my recent improvement to anything else.
>
> Well, if you cannot attribute your recent improvement in function to anything else, and you are able to afford this, then more power to you.
>
> Have you been acting less, uh, inhibited than usual? I mean... Less self critical? More behaviorally spontaneous?
>
> Just wondering.
>
>
>
>
Simply stated...I am more functional. Not in a better mood. Not feeling more capable - but I *am*. I am more able to complete simple tasks that would otherwise defeat me, like doing more than a single load of laundry, cleaning the floors, doing the dishes. The most mundane of things had been leaving me incapacitated, and suddenly I can do one thing, and then another, and then another.

Im still a Loser. My self esteem is crap. I dont sudddenly feel confident or elated or happy. Im still a sad, defeated woman. Im simply able to get through the day with more ease.


 

Re: Experiencing success with TMS Clearskies

Posted by alexandra_k on August 27, 2018, at 0:21:39

In reply to Re: Experiencing success with TMS alexandra_k, posted by Clearskies on August 24, 2018, at 21:31:50

sounds a little like a taser to the frontal lobes.

yes, i know i'm reaching...

i could probably do with a little of that, actually.

only have a few weeks to get thesis done. horrible headspace.


 

Re: Experiencing success with TMS

Posted by alexandra_k on August 27, 2018, at 0:32:54

In reply to Re: Experiencing success with TMS alexandra_k, posted by Clearskies on August 24, 2018, at 21:31:50

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Animal_magnetism

I see. That's why the focus on Farraday. electro-magnetic field rather than `special substance' hydraulics.

Of course all the radiology imaging stuff is around detecting abnormalities in electro-magnetic fields.

I had a course of ECT back in the day. I'm still not sure we know what that does to people, particularly. Or any of the psych meds either, for that matter. So... If you find something that helps... You find something that helps... Yay. So long as it's not... Extortion... Or similar...

I feel like I scared Dr Jack away. Sigh. I didn't mean to. Or maybe Bob asked him for evidence of his qualifications, or similar, and he bolted.

Do you want to write my thesis for me? I hate it.

 

Re: Experiencing success with TMS alexandra_k

Posted by Clearskies on August 27, 2018, at 0:34:42

In reply to Re: Experiencing success with TMS, posted by alexandra_k on August 27, 2018, at 0:32:54

Whats the subject of the thesis?
Just curious.

 

Re: Experiencing success with TMS Clearskies

Posted by alexandra_k on August 28, 2018, at 17:06:36

In reply to Re: Experiencing success with TMS alexandra_k, posted by Clearskies on August 27, 2018, at 0:34:42

It is to do with equity and disability.

About how 'equity groups' like the disabled, poor people (on some accounts), Maaori people etc are supposed to represent a burden to society (require more equity investment for outcomes that are projected to only get worse and worse).

About how we need to look at where the equity goes. The politicians and CEOs and people who get paid such considerable salaries in order to...

Make sure the projections and forecasts come out good. Because people have invested their money accordingly, you see. And because NZ is the 'easiest place in the world in which to do business'.

It is about power... About how instead of giving people a living wage (so they have access to resources needed to attain health) we choose to (for example) sell off the state houses so the politicians can buy them up and profit from being slum landlords.

It is about how the people in charge of government... universities... hospitals here... Only seem interested in profiting at everyone elses expense. Ruining things for more and more and a greater and greater proportion of us so they can invest in better futures for themselves overseas.

It is about jumping through the hoop... So I'm eligable for interview. At which point they will likely decide 'definite no' for no good reason. Just because they think my face looks too old or for some other whim.

Because there is no accountability. People don't want civilisation. THey prefer life to be nasty bruitish and short for many if not most of us. People have seriously warped urges and desires and they seem to have this fascination with putting them centre stage.

Maybe things won't go that way. Maybe we will finally do the things we should do. YOu know, blind grade students work. Stop discriminating against people with disability etc because there is no reason to ask abotu such things prior to candidates being selected.

Only...

Who will make them?

That's basically what it comes down to.

Tis a culture of bullies, here.

And who will make them?

Otherwise... I don't know if it's enough for me to get out. But I'm done.

They failed me for a first year course that was supposed to be part of a degree in telling people that healthcare and medicine was not for them and their people - because they couldn't afford it. They failed me for asking: But, then, where does the money go?

That's the equity there. THe equity group is those who profit.

The inequity, injustice... Those are the people who are targeted 'in the name of equity!'

For who, again?

 

Re: Experiencing success with TMS

Posted by alexandra_k on August 28, 2018, at 17:24:16

In reply to Re: Experiencing success with TMS Clearskies, posted by alexandra_k on August 28, 2018, at 17:06:36

I don't know what will happen with it.

I say it again: Freedom of speech is very limited here.

This country has a lot invested in keeping me weak and poor and unemployed and uneducated and so on.

Thousands and thousands and thousands of us...

Not so much as a Secondary School education and how much debt accumulated with the public university system?

Oh yeah, it must be me. I'm lazy and stupid. No? Well, disabled then. Better pay them a premium for being required to educate a stupid lazy *ss like me. I mean... 5 years of tertiary education...

HOw many years is secondary school again?

5 years of tertiary education...

Where is my high school diploma equivlency?

I can't pass a first year course in public health in this sh*t hole.

In a world class top 100 university of this world

?

?

I think someone should look into that.

It's not the Tuskagee study...
It's no a Nazi concentration camp...

But there's something pretty f*ck*ng wrong with it.

 

Re: Experiencing success with TMS

Posted by alexandra_k on August 28, 2018, at 17:35:07

In reply to Re: Experiencing success with TMS, posted by alexandra_k on August 28, 2018, at 17:24:16

Yuck.

It is hard to make it appropriately academic, when you actually have something to say.

I see that, now.

Even people who mean well. If there seems to be some way they can cast aspersions on my character to dismiss what I have to say... Whether it be that I'm paranoid... Or whatever... Then people will. Not because they are malevolent (necessarily) but because they simply don't like what I have to say. Can't see what they can do about it. Fear that if they don't stomp it out and hush me up maybe other people will think they are supporting or condoning what I have to say...

People are starting to speak up, though. There have been government reports on how much some government people are paid. CEO salaries for health and education and so on. Saying that it is too much. People won't stand for 20 or 25 per cent pay increases for CEOs when nurses are striking over 3 per cent. It's 'not sustainable'.

But things like blind grading. University selection for Medicine, here, seems... Pretty terrible, actually. Mostly just because nobody has called them to account. They think they are beyond that. The whole idea of interview is just to make a certain group of people feel powerful with respect to being part of the process of candidate selection. But the effect of that... People are given 'definate no' who are otherwise academically qualified. Because interviewers don't like the look of their face.

But whose faces don't they like the look of?

They can't tell the sociopaths and so on. It's more that they don't like the look of... Diversity. Typically.

So... How diverse is the interview panel? Do our high health users get a say? The people forced to use the public system because they government chooses not to give them a living wage such that they can have a voice in the health care market?

Of course not.

 

Re: Experiencing success with TMS

Posted by alexandra_k on August 28, 2018, at 17:57:29

In reply to Re: Experiencing success with TMS alexandra_k, posted by Clearskies on August 27, 2018, at 0:34:42

I'm only writing it because the university won't acknowledge a qualification more than 5 years old, and so i need a new one.

i thought about qualifications i could do in other things...

i thought about physiology. but to do a degree in that there is a compulsory course where you experiment on a live sheep. you get to basically hold it's heart stopping beating and then inject it with adrenalin and see it come back to life. cool, hey! an important science experiment that is crucial for training the next generation of people who supposedly don't even want to be doing animal research - people who want to be helping people. and where grading comes down to what one particular person chooses to allocate for that course... and i know that person... and he is very controlling about people coming along and he tells them what to put here and there and he likes the suck ups. he likes to see the full stop there. he likes to see this statement here (even though he's actually wrong about things sometimes -- he's not very responsive to reason).

mostly qualifiations here come down to what one (strategically placed?) person chooses to allocate for an essay, or similar. that has the power to... make or break your degree. wehther you get GPA i mean.

so... keep your head down and suck up... important life skills we teach our grads. otherwise...

oh my. maybe they'll end up like me. let me be a lesson to them all.

?

im sure someone does have the power to go 'enough of this garbage'.

i read somewhere that the average candidate accepted to med in Canada has 3 applications. i wonder if we might be doing similarly. a similar sort of a thing. because of the... organisation and planning that is required to go onto just one. because if you don't have that... you might just find yourself beign burned out as junior doc keeping costs down for some CEO in a hospital in NZ where your work will never contribute towards your being qualified for anything. like that awful situation i've been finding myself in in the tertiary system here. with these awful people with too much power who seem strategically placed to further those who... will consent to atrocities. or similar.

i don't know if people will let me do it. i see that, now. you just go around in life wondering which people will decide they have nothing better to do than stabotage you. it really is the kiwi way.

 

Re: Experiencing success with TMS

Posted by alexandra_k on August 28, 2018, at 18:23:15

In reply to Re: Experiencing success with TMS, posted by alexandra_k on August 28, 2018, at 17:57:29

> organisation and planning that is required to go onto just one. because if you don't have that... you might just find yourself beign burned out as junior doc keeping costs down for some CEO in a hospital in NZ where your work will never contribute towards your being qualified for anything.

yes, just like that. becuase they want people who will go 'i'm in med now, i've made it!' and relax... but it's not about getting into med... it's about getting into specialist training. and to do that you need to send out a lot of applications... with associated application fees (I think $5,000 for Ortho, last time I checked, and you need to choose NZ or Aussie and not apply to both)...

So... If you can't get things sorted to 'spam' at least few applications to Med, in the first place...

Because I don't think I could bear GP training in NZ. Maybe in Australia... But not in NZ. Not what I've seen of it. There is no informed consent. There is not much treatment (aside from the obvious shots for infectious diseases). There didn't used to be much antibiotics (not sure if that's changing -- watching the progression of Rheumatic fever - heart valve failure -- heart failure in Pacific Islalnders and Maaori was looking a little too much like watching the progression of Syphilis in Black people)...

I haven't managed to find a GP, here. Or, when the GP seemed okay (so far as I can tell - and I don't suppose I can, particularly) the clinic did not.

Anyway... I shall choose to believe. Because I can't afford to 'self stabotage' they call it (they would, even when it is them doing it). I will just have to do my best for a few months more... To have faith / belief / hope that this is all for the good... And I'm not being taken for a chump for doing it.

I guess... It might be to help the horrid people down the track, not want me to stay with them, after all. IN case I write about them. Maybe it could open up genuine opportunities. With the UN or something. I don't know. I don't know that there might be. I think I'd actually really like to travel a bit and try an dhelp with projects that were developing infrastructure for communities. Ideally frm a positoin of knowing how to do useful things, rather than learning. I think there might be some good stuff being done. But I see it would need to be on the down-low because there is no shortage of masses and masses of people who prefer to profiteer off of keeping that community disempowered, disenfranchiesd and, ultimately, sick and impoverished, and diseased.

The realities...

I don't know that it is the sort of thing I could do for more than a few weeks, at a time.

Says the girl who has trouble sleeping in the slums of Auckland. Yeah. Sometimes I can be surprising, though. Opposite reaction to what most peole do or whate you would think.

 

Re: Experiencing success with TMS alexandra_k

Posted by Clearskies on August 28, 2018, at 18:24:29

In reply to Re: Experiencing success with TMS, posted by alexandra_k on August 28, 2018, at 17:57:29

(Today was my 16th session, out of 35. Of TMS.)

I havent the faintest clue of just how messed up the American or Canadian university systems are, having had no experience of either. I recall my ex son-in-law not being able to get beyond being an adjunct professor when he was aiming for an academic career at one point. He ended up going to a seminary and becoming a priest. (Which is one thing you can do with a degree in philosophy.)

I do get a sense, though, of how those born into poverty are perpetuated to stay there without extraordinary measures being taken, like a burning ambition and a supportive family to move you beyond it. Or a benefactor of some kind. I know that the public education system is fast being disabled and dismantled here (in the USA) which will only further divide the Haves from the Have Nots.

I lost any hope I might have had at any time about having a career long ago.

 

Re: Experiencing success with TMS Clearskies

Posted by alexandra_k on August 28, 2018, at 18:49:31

In reply to Re: Experiencing success with TMS alexandra_k, posted by Clearskies on August 28, 2018, at 18:24:29

> (Today was my 16th session, out of 35. Of TMS.)

I am interested to hear how you are finding it. I don't feel I know much about the brain. I don't suppose many people know much about the brain. But then I did this course in neuroanatomy and 1/3 of it was curriculum they use for Med students and that 1/3 was brilliant. We looked at the anatomical structures of the brain and started to learn some of the pathways. I had no idea how much we really do know about the reflexes of the peripheral nerves and so on... The cortex stuff is a weird sort of an overlay... But I was surprised to learn just how much we do know. Not me, particularly, I mean. But... Civilisation. Peoples. Somewhere. It was glimpses like that that keep me wanting to do Med. Of course the other 2/3 of the course were largely a waste of our time... And the typical animal-torture component... Just because...

> I havent the faintest clue of just how messed up the American or Canadian university systems are, having had no experience of either.

I have had a... Well, to be honest, a highly structured and well babysat experience of the education system in the USA and I proclaim it to be the best in the world!

Haha.

Seriously, though, I had the privaledge of spending a year at a University that I know helps make the State a desirable place to be, for many people in the US. I was fortunate, indeed to work as a teaching assistant for someone who was well known to be a brilliant teacher. He refused to dumb down the curriculum (under the misguided assumption that his students were dumb or would appreciate or respect that). Instead he hand-held them as well as he could through original texts (Plato and Aristotle and Mill and so on). Primary readings only. He figured a way to make multiple choice a non-stupid option for philosophy. Testing a genuine depth of understanding involving 'best' answers / interpretations of elements of the text. He had a wonderful system for blind grading (grade it blind 2x and then if more than 5 marks different - grade it again). then grading meetings... A half day affair. He would cook and invite all the teaching assistants. We presented graphs of our distribution of grades to him. We talked about things and about the ones we thought were 'representative' of the different marks and shared them so we could detect if someone was grading high vs low and marks could be altered. We presented our 'best' ones our 'odd' ones and our proposed fails.

Because... The students worked hard on them. Or... Shuold be given that benefit of the doubt. And so we owed them that much.

Of course.

And in coming back here I see why this sort of thing needs to be so. Why there needs to be a distribution of power (there were 3 teaching assistants and him and we negotiated grades for the class). In NZ... People don't blind grade. You can tell peoples race from their name, often. There is absolutely no accountability.

> I recall my ex son-in-law not being able to get beyond being an adjunct professor when he was aiming for an academic career at one point.

Tenure is tricky. It's like... Making consultant in Medicine, I think. Yeah. That is the time when you hunker down and persist. Work your *ss off. To get to that. Yeah. That's why I walked away from my PhD. I realised I didn't want to be a philsophy academic. If I did want to be a philospohy academic then fighting to complete PhD is just the start... The you have the fight for tenure track position... Then the fight for tenure. Tenure needs a book, you see. Your PhD develops into a book... And a bunch of articles besides... But differnet fields are differnet.

We have a public education system - it is just that it has been set up to fail. We know full well there are neighbourhoods where parents don't have enough to feed their kids. Those kids go to school hungry or go to school hyped up on cheap crap to fill their bellies. They are distruptive to other students learning. There are 30 of them packed into a class. How can a teacher teach reading writng and arithmetic to these kids? They can't.

Then we have the... Whatever... To say that such things would be 'culturally inappropriate', anyway.

> I do get a sense, though, of how those born into poverty are perpetuated to stay there without extraordinary measures being taken, like a burning ambition and a supportive family to move you beyond it. Or a benefactor of some kind.

Or luck. People are fans of luck. Becuase it doesn't require them to *do* anything. Of course you choose whether to buy into the lottery (only certainty is house wins) -- where does the bulk of the lottery money go?

It is a hard one because when things go well people have a tendancy to think they earned it. They are deserving and that's why they have and others do not. It's hard to see how to live with yourself otherwise. On the other hand, that can preclude people looking out for opportunities (or working to make opportunities) genuinely happen for other people... with repect to empowering them and their group, I mean. ANd it is hard, too, because most people will revert to screwing over others for their personal gain if they get the opportunity. And so why help them, then, when they wouldn't help others if they were in your position? But it's next to impossible to sort that group from teh ones who really wouldn't...

Little mes.

It's not about being a rescuer (and elevating that which is rescued to persecutor).

But some way to do something. Yeah.

I'd like to do surgeries. You know... There is a tumor or something. And I fixed it. Yay. Sigh.

Parasitic worms bother me. The thought of them, i mean. Masses of worms. Bad dreams...

 

Re: Experiencing success with TMS

Posted by alexandra_k on August 28, 2018, at 18:59:02

In reply to Re: Experiencing success with TMS Clearskies, posted by alexandra_k on August 28, 2018, at 18:49:31

Though...

For all the stuff about blind grading...

I'm trying to think, now...

Did I have a single black student in my class?
Asian?

I really don't think that I did.

They were all white kids.

Huh.

 

Re: Experiencing success with TMS alexandra_k

Posted by Clearskies on August 28, 2018, at 19:03:44

In reply to Re: Experiencing success with TMS Clearskies, posted by alexandra_k on August 28, 2018, at 18:49:31

Oddly (to me) the TMS tech tells me Im the only client - I refuse to refer to us as patients since this is clearly an income generator for a practice - to have shown any knowledge of what the machine does.
Huh?
People just let someone point a machine at your skull and have it drill bursts of electromagnetic pulses into your brain and you dont care to know what exactly its DOING?

(I know weve got two threads running concurrently here. I dont mind if you dont. )

 

Re: Experiencing success with TMS

Posted by alexandra_k on August 28, 2018, at 19:08:55

In reply to Re: Experiencing success with TMS, posted by alexandra_k on August 28, 2018, at 18:59:02

Maybe that's the thing of it... You want to be moving around. If you stay in one place for too long you can't see what it is that you are missing. What is that is that is lacking or absent from the place you are at, I mean.

Like how I remember when I first arrived in Australia. The airport was peaceful. Odd, huh, it's a busy bustling airport. It was... That I couldn't hear the noises of the natives. The noises that Maaori and Pacific peoples make... The Auckland airport. I don't know that this will make sense to anyone... I experienced that peace as something was missing. And it took me ages to figure what it was.

Then Canberra. Things felt plastic. Took me ages... No historic period sort of buildings. New trees. Not established... English imports. Just gum trees. Scrappy. And then an elite group of people.. Quiet and civilised for reading and writing... Need to go on bus to suburbs to experience fear of being stabbed by street kids...

Moving around, yeah.

I wasn't particularly happy in North Carolina when I was there. People needed to point out to me the racism... It was so... Quiet I didn't notice. People didn't want to be served by black people in the supermarket. People going 'after you m'am' like they were being polite to me letting me go ahead. They didn't want to be served by the black checkout operators.

Things didn'dt feel to me to be good for black people there. In supposedly civilised society.

There were a couple 'token' sort of black people in faculty. Considerably more noise was made about the oppression of women. Over half the student intake were purposely female. To detract from what wasn't there, I suppose.

The people who didn't make it in there, at all. I guess there was another state university in the state. I wonder if that universities demographic was more racially diverse...

I think... I feel good about the idea of moving around, now. Yeah. Not like i can afford a house, anyway... But you don't want to stay in any one place for too long. If you aren't moving you are... Dying. Or something..

 

Re: Experiencing success with TMS

Posted by alexandra_k on August 28, 2018, at 19:22:18

In reply to Re: Experiencing success with TMS alexandra_k, posted by Clearskies on August 28, 2018, at 19:03:44

> Oddly (to me) the TMS tech tells me Im the only client - I refuse to refer to us as patients since this is clearly an income generator for a practice - to have shown any knowledge of what the machine does.
> Huh?
> People just let someone point a machine at your skull and have it drill bursts of electromagnetic pulses into your brain and you dont care to know what exactly its DOING?
>
> (I know weve got two threads running concurrently here. I dont mind if you dont. )

Thank you for not minding. I'm sorry to hijack, another thread, yet again. Sigh.

I think maybe people just get desparate to try something, anything, for things to get / feel better, sometimes.

I'm thinking back to when I had ECT. I signed some consent form. Did I know how it worked? No. Not really. I may have read a little Janet Frame or something, about the barbaric brutality of it all, even, but I signed up for it.

Partly... It was an effort to persuade others that I was doing everything in my power to get better. That I was willing to consent to that, I mean. After it had been suggested, then it was something that I could try. Something that was flagged as pretty much a last resort.

Like... How when people have been diagnosed with terminal whatever then... Why not drink gallons of carrot juice, or whatever. Something... Anything... What have you got to lose?

I was cross later that they didn't point out they wanted to do bi-lateral shocks but unilateral shocks could have been an option that would be less likely to cause disruption to language areas. I don't think it did affect language areas, but apparently there is a risk of that with left hemisphere shocks to Wernicke / Broca's regions. In some people. Would that have altered my consent? Probably not, honestly. Not if there was more chance of bilateral working (and apparently there was). Still cranky about the consent forms, however.

I think it's okay...

I think it's problematic when people lie / falsify findings so a treatment looks more effective than it is. Like concerns people have around places charging exhobitant amounts of money for things like stem cell treatments to help them walk. Or promising good outcomes when the clinic gets bad results for things like cosmetic surgeries... People will get into all kinds of debt sometimes... And I feel insurance companies pain when it comes to deciding what treatments to fund...

But if it's providing hope for you and you feel it's helping and you are eating okay and can pay your rent and so on, then, well... Hey, I spend money on swimming because it makes me feel good. Some people get a kick out of going to the hairdresser and having that done. I don't know...

I needed to phone the internet people the other day because my internet was down. Turned out that I was 'that guy'. The guy who doesn't know the fibre optic box needed to be plugged in at the wall and turned on. Yeah, most people are stupid when it comes to understanding electicity. It's complicated... I don't purport to understand satellites...


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