Psycho-Babble Social Thread 1099084

Shown: posts 1 to 18 of 18. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

the world bank

Posted by alexandra_k on June 6, 2018, at 1:53:59

damn economics...
my old uni has this philosophy, politics, and economics degree...

anyway...
after getting a bit swamped in an awful literature of awful i've found some stuff by the world bank.
the world health organisation. agencies like these.
and then i look at our national policies...
and the local academics whose work (once can only suppose) inform and influence the national policies...
anyway... the foreign stuff is much better.
reason responsive.
i know people bitch and moan about how the reality is different...
but it's so very f*ck*ng clearly the best we have got.
its just qualitatively different by orders of magnitude.

i see corruption is defined specifically as things like 'black market'. in order to have a black market you would first need to legislate against various things. i don't think we have any laws. we don't even have a functioning 'medical admissions committee' who understands the function of equity.

and economic development is different from economic growth. and of course it was foreign people with money (only language teh savages here understand) who dictated it was time for us to focus on social develoment. because you have to spell it out. economics development at the expense of social development for poeple who dont understand economic growth.

again... nothing grows here.

at the end of the day you do need a good leader.

i miss you, dr bob becaue you were a good leader. i know the people went off to lead their own facebook circle, or whatever... but i liked you being a good leader, here. you grew here bigger than tehir biggest circle, i'm sure. and promoted more... kindness. helpling. and so on.

anyway...

i am okay. i have a habitable house, even if i get snowed in a bit, i have wood and electric and a power subsidy is coming... and i'm okay...

just sad to be locked out of medicine, here. they like to play dice...

it sucks rewriting world health organisation and world bank etc stuff for... idiots. who didn'dt bother to read it properly. who would rather persist in their own... psychopathy.

i wonder if i will end up having to flee from here... it's really awful here.

i wish i'd never been born.

 

Re: the world bank alexandra_k

Posted by Clearskies on June 8, 2018, at 0:38:40

In reply to the world bank, posted by alexandra_k on June 6, 2018, at 1:53:59

Hello, Alexandra

I miss Dr Bob and the babble we used to know, as turburlent as it was. It was also vibrant.

World news leaves me with no hope whatever for our collective future. Ive all but stuck my head in the sand.

I popped in to say hi and announce that Ive bought a little bungalow for myself and my cat. No roommates or boyfriends. Its a 1904 Craftsman style home, very common but of a historical style here in America.

I dont spin my wheels so much as keep gaining traction, then losing it in a spectacular way. Like a wipe out during a car race.

Things seem truly dire, in my naive eyes. Im not looking forward to our future.

CS

 

Re: the world bank

Posted by alexandra_k on June 8, 2018, at 6:55:48

In reply to Re: the world bank alexandra_k, posted by Clearskies on June 8, 2018, at 0:38:40

I'm not sure what I think about world news. It's what they... Want us to believe. I don't know who, what, where, when, why.

Your bungalow sounds nice. I don't know where you are... Does it snow? Are you going to make a garden?

I have found some food in the supermarket. Sometimes... I think people are listening to me...

It's a definate 'no' for Med, here, so looking at applying to and then moving back to the awful city...

Or it's euthanasia for the win! Health care in ones own hands. Yeah. I really do see it's the only voice you've got, sometimes. It really can be a political thing. Maybe it is, essentially...


 

Re: the world bank

Posted by alexandra_k on June 8, 2018, at 7:35:27

In reply to Re: the world bank, posted by alexandra_k on June 8, 2018, at 6:55:48

> I have found some food in the supermarket. Sometimes... I think people are listening to me...

Just little glimmers that there are actual reason-responsive people still here. Which is what happens when you spend too much time with the terrified kids trecking around in the ghetto (university).

I think it is genuinely because of this view that a lot of people need to live in awful conditions in order to sustain 'our way of life'. In some sense of 'our way of life'. And people are just really afraid 'which side' they are going to end up on.

Whether they are going to have to present as humble supplicants to beg at the door to be let in to the welfare cue... To be stuck getting food for the week from charities who get government handouts to employ people to locally govern the distribution of food. Where tinned sphagetti is what the market demands, apparently. And tomatoes.

Or whether they will have 'made it' in some sense. Where they get to have their own bucket to collect what leaks out of the govnernment redistribution system...

And there is this idea that most of the jobs are in managing the underclass. And there really is 'and there but for the grace of god (or head of the charity) go I)' about it.

But mostly just an acceptance of masses and masses and masses of beggars who don't have enough to make any kinds of choices in the market at all.

just not even a living wage for producing as much as you can of the cheapest possible rubbish that you can.

because the governmen't doens't know how to legislate. or identify and invest in anything that will sustainably grow.

i don't have to get to do orthopedics. i was saying psychiatry from the get-go but they seemed to think they didn't need that... no, we prefer to staff that with 'no speak english' labor...

anyway...

i have a nice house at the moment, PC. It doesn't have character. Its a (seems to me) solid little 2 bedroom house built in the 1950's. By a previous government, actually. A state house. It's got 800+ meter section. If I were to rent to own it (which was the point of them) I could have built quite the garden or... Developed the section in a variety of ways. Put a doctors clinic out front.

It's got plesant views. Not amazing, but pleasant. Water in teh distance and pretty lights from low density housing over a couple steeply sloping rolling hills.

It snows a bit. Like, 6 days a year, or something. we had nearly a foot last week. I haven't had snow since I was in North Carolina. It was nice but I couldn't get about on the motorbike. I think the main roads would have been okay, but sticking to the tyre tracks to get there would have been a bit slippy.

It is a nice and quiet space for me to write. Thinking back... 2011 I came back to NZ. I remember I was all about 'I just need a quiet space where I can work on my thesis' and housing hasn't come through for me until now. 2018. It has come through for me... But it's f*ck*ng exhausting the battle it takes to get the most miniscule thing done through layers and layers and layers of incompetent managers who live on government handouts and bailouts and so on and so forth while (for a lot of that time) I really lived on next to nothing.

I have a bit more now. Because of 'disability'. Which I feel ambivalent about. IN a way I feel like ti is cheatin gor lying in some way because I use it differently from how I'm supposed to. But then, I don't agree with tehir priorities.

For example. If I want a television then they will help me because that is considered necessary. If I want health insurance then that is not allowed. In the public system I mostly don't have access to health care and when I do it is what the government or the district health board (or foreign interest sor business interests) decide is good for me.

So... I still struggle with the fact that I'm nearly 40...

And still haven' tquite made it to become a human being...

But I don't go see a doctor anymore. I'm done with that. I'd love to learn differently... But my experience of 'health care' in this country there is a lot of nodding and smiling and smiling and nodding and I don't trust it. And I can'at purchase it. Becaues my opinion of what is important isn't important.

Anyway... I'm writing a thesis on this for a uni. Not the one here. The one here didn't want me to do research. It is odd that a universiyt doens't want research, but there we go. I don't know what to say about that. Don't even know where to begin. I mean, they don't want me to pay fees to them for them to get a chunk of work out of me that they could then claim as their own. That's how accepted here, I am.

Wow.

Anyway...

It's because of the whole statics thing and control of variance means I can only achieve so much in my lifetime. And if they can persuade me to get into the spirit of farming then I could contribute to the situation of donating my labour to the production of high quality prodouce that could fetch top dollar on the international markets for the good of... Um... Some manager, somewhere. WHo gets government handouts...

So, yeah. After all that. It's unskilled labour. My determinants of health have be binned thus and so.

I suspect that is it.

It is a quiet place to get this chunk of research done whcih will hopefully be enough to get me into Med back at the nasty awful city...

So I won't be driven to the doc fro things like cyst removal or antibiotics for an infection that isn't fixing itself or wahtever. at the very least. so I will have some authority (the only authority there is) over my own life.

I do want to help people...

But some people think that the only way forwards is to hire people to... Keep the prostitutes clean-ish. Keep the people who only exist so others may profit from their labour suitably drugged... I don't want to believe the world is like that...

It would be great to be able to offer a... Free clinic.

But I don't know that you could do that, here, because of the charity people making millions off of that and all the managers and so on that need money to leak out of the bucket their way...

And because of the data collectors.

I learned that 'New Zealander' gets reclassified as 'New Zealand European' and 'Non-Maaori'. They think people say 'New ZEalander' because they are trying to undermine Maaori. Apparently. They really haven't heard of working together for the good of us all. Not Maaori... THe people who are making decisions supposedly in their interests.

What a f*ck*ng sh*t show.

 

Re: the world bank

Posted by alexandra_k on June 8, 2018, at 10:52:05

In reply to Re: the world bank, posted by alexandra_k on June 8, 2018, at 7:35:27

and they shall hereby be known as *citizens*

not patients, not consumers, nor clients,

but citizens
stakeholders

yee haw.

 

Re: the world bank

Posted by Clearskies on June 8, 2018, at 11:53:26

In reply to Re: the world bank, posted by alexandra_k on June 8, 2018, at 7:35:27

There are all four seasons where Ive settled. Skiing up in the mountains all winter long about half an hour away, though I stick to tromping around in snowshoes.

I just this moment returned from signing all the papers taking on the house, so Im officially a home owner. The back garden will eventually have a clothesline for the laundry (no one seems to have them any more) and Im going to hunt for a free standing hammock since I havent any trees on my property. Ill leave the lawn cultivation to others, as I dont consider it to be sustainable nor important in the scheme of things. I have a packet of wildflower seeds I will turn into the topsoil. I know there are some wild roses and a rhubarb patch in the garden too.

Since moving out west here I have seen so many more people struggling to get by. No jobs, no food, no gas for their cars.

 

Re: the world bank

Posted by sigismund on June 8, 2018, at 23:09:10

In reply to Re: the world bank, posted by Clearskies on June 8, 2018, at 11:53:26

>World news leaves me with no hope whatever for our collective future. Ive all but stuck my head in the sand.

I had some serious operations a year or so ago and suffered a serious failure of energy. The only thing I could or wanted to do (except sleep and enjoy the painkillers) was to read about geopolitics (all day!). My feelings about things are so mixed that I don't particularly care and of course it doesn't matter. As Chou En Lai said about whether the French Revolution was a good thing 'It's too early to tell'.

Some people split it into hope and optimism, one you have and the other you don't.

One time I said to my psych, 'When I think about the human species sometimes I just want to kill myself out of embarrassment'. He brightly reframed this as, 'Oh no, I think it's fascinating'. I loved him for that.

 

Re: the world bank Clearskies

Posted by alexandra_k on June 14, 2018, at 20:52:11

In reply to Re: the world bank, posted by Clearskies on June 8, 2018, at 11:53:26

I guess I have all four seasons, now, too, which is unusual for this time of year. A person I knew who immigrated from England said it was like living in a tupperware container with a temperate environment. Nothing to break the year up. Only, seasons still don't have the same effect in this part of the world since the seasonal holidays don't make sense at all. E.g., Christmas and New Year aren't welcome festivities to help break up the dead of winter, at all. They occur right when you don't need them to, in the middle of summer, and the dark of winter seems neverending, indeed. We should, of course, introduce replacements, at more sensible times of year. Promote them and demote others (e.g., mid-winter christmas and the like). The people would catch on because it makes sense. But the fact that it actually makes sense means it'll probably never happen, in these parts. I mean... Why would you want happy people, for? How is that more efficient?

> I just this moment returned from signing all the papers taking on the house, so Im officially a home owner.

Congradulations!

> The back garden will eventually have a clothesline for the laundry (no one seems to have them any more) and Im going to hunt for a free standing hammock since I havent any trees on my property.

That sounds nice. I have a clothes line and line dried clothes are much nicer if you get to hang them in the breeze. And for airing bed linen etc. I like clothes lines when people have the space for them. They drive me nuts when people try and air dry their clothes in over-crowded environments / in the city, though. Perhaps partly because people don't seem to look after them and wind blows them off the line and about and you end up with a bunch of clothes junk littering up the streets / alleys.

> Ill leave the lawn cultivation to others, as I dont consider it to be sustainable nor important in the scheme of things.

I have a big-*ss lawn. I get people to look after it for me. It looks a bit ridiculous, I think. This prim and proper well cultivated lawn. The neighbours lawn was left to turn into hay paddock. But then the landlords told them it was time to do something... And it seemed to take a few days hard labour to hand hack it down.

> I have a packet of wildflower seeds I will turn into the topsoil. I know there are some wild roses and a rhubarb patch in the garden too.

Nice.

> Since moving out west here I have seen so many more people struggling to get by. No jobs, no food, no gas for their cars.

Yeah. Things are hard, for a lot of people.

And then you get inter-generational poverty where there is something... Toxic in the soil or the water supply or something... So that they people are kept not quite right, as well...

 

Re: the world bank sigismund

Posted by alexandra_k on June 14, 2018, at 20:53:16

In reply to Re: the world bank, posted by sigismund on June 8, 2018, at 23:09:10


> One time I said to my psych, 'When I think about the human species sometimes I just want to kill myself out of embarrassment'. He brightly reframed this as, 'Oh no, I think it's fascinating'. I loved him for that.

Hmm. I find that kinda creepy. I guess it depends on your vantage point, indeed.

 

gaming and politics

Posted by alexandra_k on June 14, 2018, at 21:08:04

In reply to Re: the world bank sigismund, posted by alexandra_k on June 14, 2018, at 20:53:16

So I quite like computer games for their slant / take on life that gets me thinking.

The Sims. Especially the earlier ones. With their theories on personality traits etc.

Civilisation. For theories on technologies - and pre-requisites for technologies.

Civilisation.

Diplomacy (though I actually haven't played this it's on my list).

Simcity.

I've recently discovered Banished. It's a medieval city-builder. I got a kick out of watching differnet people play it with the different strategies that people have for game play. Then eventually people get the hang of the mechanics and the mathsy people people figure out optimal strategies.

Anyway, I found it interesting how some people would set their settlers out to collect up as much food as possible because they were afraid they would starve through the winter... Other people would set their settlers out to collect up as much wood and stone because they wanted them to not freeze (firewood) and get to building...

But the thing to do, really, (that nobody much seemed to do)... The thing that was obvious once you saw it done... Was to start out with the people building their houses. Then, once the houses were built, building their occupation. That way... The people don't get sick.

Frostpunk. Housing, again. Start with warm housing. Otherwise... The bodies pile up...

So...

I've been thinking a lot about how the world is f*ck*d up because of invisible hands guiding it in f*ck*d up directions vs how the world sort of becomes f*ck*d up as the result of some sort of blind, organic process. And it is interesting to see sort of 'debunking' 'just so' stories, or simple models of how things can sort of organically unfold to being f*ck*d up without any kind of unified malevolent force, satan, if you will, guiding things in f*ck*d up directions.

Though, that wasn't really the example of it. The people know they need places to sleep. The 'invisible hand' who thought they knew better... Well...

In Frostpunk you can make choices that are nicer... And choices that are, uh, not so nice. For example, you can build a child shelter for your children and then later train them to be medical or engineering apprentices. Or, you can allow child labour in safe jobs, and later in all jobs. On one of the letsplays the guy was playing an evil route and at some point someone said 'it would be more fun if you played the good route because it will make the game harder'

And he said...

Will it?

I mean... What reason do we have for thinking that profits before people, hoarding before people, making the people work overtime and so on and so forth makes the game easier. ? We create problems of housing and medical clinics. Then all the disabled people who can't work. We can research prostheses etc to try and get them working -- but that's the opportunity cost of not researching other things. I mean... You wouldn't need to research a bunch of health things if you didn't make the bloody health problems in the first place.

But there is this attitude of... Many many many many unhappy and miserable and sick people simply being the collateral damage or the unfortunate but totally necessary byproduct or consequence of... GDP. or something... that it simply must be that way for some reason...

A bunch of people with power (perhaps only some limited kind of it) but a bunch of people with power seem to genuinely belive this.

Human depravity.

Sigh.

 

med admissions

Posted by alexandra_k on June 14, 2018, at 21:16:00

In reply to gaming and politics, posted by alexandra_k on June 14, 2018, at 21:08:04

So this might be incorrect - but I think I learned that I ranked really badly in my last interview.

So, when she asked me how I thought I did and I said (genuinely) 'I'm really not quite sure' and she looked me in the eyes and gave me what appeared to be a genuine smile and said 'you did *really well*' she was lying.

The kind of way you lie when you find out that someone has something terminal and you choose to tell them they are going to be just fine.

Only worse, in a way, because I never asked her whether or not I was going to be just fine. I never asked her whether or not she thought I was doing just fine.

And I guess that's the point. What they want from the interview is a suck up. The person who will do anything / say anything to get to do it. They wanted silly head 'omg I'm so nervous becuase this is so important to me. And I want you to like me more than anything but I'm nervous that you won't'.

Apparently (NZMJ) doing well in the interview is negatively correlated with grades and UMAT entry exam.

Apparently (NZMJ) doing well in the interview is not correlated with doing well in medical school down the track.

Apparently (NZMJ) some people are ruled 'definate no' on the grounds that the interviewers (not medical doctors) determine that there is serious mental illness / characater pathology *on the basis of the interview*. Wow, what special powers these interviewers have, I didn't think psychiatrists had the ability to make such determinations on the basis of the limited amount of infromation that the interviewrs have access to.

Apparently (NZMJ) there is no follow up of thse people who were ruled to be grossly unsuitable. To find if they actually had history. To find if they develop issues going into the future. To see if they go on to successful things (proving that part of the interview to be nothing other than discrimination on grounds of 'we don't like your face'.

And who is the 'we'? Who are the people who do the interviews? Are they people who use the public health system, are they? Are they representative of users of the public health system, are they?

Or perhaps they are deciding the places of the applicants who are self funding their places. Rather than the government funded places to select a workforce for the good of people in our country?

Things are so unbelivably awfully f*ck*d up, here. Getting out... I don't know that there is another way.

 

inclusive education

Posted by alexandra_k on June 14, 2018, at 21:32:15

In reply to med admissions, posted by alexandra_k on June 14, 2018, at 21:16:00

The 'inclusive education' human rights focus is focused on public schools. MOre particularly, cases arising have been poor public schools. Public schools located in areas where the kids attending have parents without much money. SO kids are sent to school without food, often enough, and we don't have any kind of school lunch program, even. And there might be 30 kids in a classroom. And then lots of the kids are hyped up on their food additives and preservatives and sugar. And a lot of the kids have only really heard people interact with each other by way of such charming conversations as 'f*ck off you c*nt!' and so on... Hitting each other is a pleasant greeting... ANd a lot of the kids have not been read to and don't know the alphabet and so on because their parents don't think it is their job to teach them any of that kind of stuff...

And so the disabled kid gets told 'you can't come to school here'. And there is a media outcry... And the teachers says 'I just can't handle another behavior problem in the classroom'.

And the disabled equity criterion at university is about letting in kids who haven't met the academic entry requirements.

So... That's the take on disability. That your disability meant you weren't able to achieve the academic reasults that you would have if you hadn't (for example) been physcially prevented from attending.

So how does that translate to medical admissions?

I suppose I can ask. 'Do you want to be considered for a disability equity place?'

No... I want you to decline me a place (even though I'm academically qualified) because you think I have a history of mental illness.

There really is no... Reason. No reasoning with such people.

Things are changing, here. It takes a few years. Mostly to give people time to get out / distance themselves from what they've done / been complicit in creating / guiding into place. To set the people up to take the hit / fall. That's what that's really about.

But nothing will happen *in time for me*.

It is just unbelievably awful here with the unbelivably awful people who choose to put profits (their own personal) ahead of other people... Because they are terrified of being homeless just like so many other people... But the only reason there are so many homeless people is... Because of their own making.

They chose the 'evil' route. And their biggest fear... Is that someone else will do to them what it si that they have done to so many others.

But most other people were never as depraved as they were.

Why do we let these people take charge?

 

Re: inclusive education

Posted by alexandra_k on June 14, 2018, at 21:33:45

In reply to inclusive education, posted by alexandra_k on June 14, 2018, at 21:32:15

and that's right.

all they want is palliative care.

the silly sausage who wants nothing other than to please them...

and of course.. the medical system...

it's all about them.

for the good of us all.

helping you helping you helping you helping me

helping make things worse for as many people as we can

helping me

f*ck*ng idiots

 

Re: the world bank

Posted by alexandra_k on June 14, 2018, at 21:40:44

In reply to Re: the world bank Clearskies, posted by alexandra_k on June 14, 2018, at 20:52:11

> I guess I have all four seasons, now, too, which is unusual for this time of year.

of course i meant to say 'unusual for this part of the world'

 

Re: inclusive education

Posted by alexandra_k on June 14, 2018, at 21:56:15

In reply to inclusive education, posted by alexandra_k on June 14, 2018, at 21:32:15

and i am not like them

and they see that and...

they don't want to believe that things could have been done differently.

they want people to look them in the eyes and give them a genuine smile and say 'of course, dear, you did everything you could'

because after all that...

they think the publically funded medicine should be about them.

after everything they have done to other people...

there really isn't enough care, here. that's how come people grow up so awful.

our last prime minister was raised in a state house, apparently. i suppose that was why he was so mean / awful to people in state houses. selling off the state houses, i mean. letting them run down so as to be uninhabitable. all the wealthy people were enouraged to invest in property so they could have their very own people pets who they could keep in appalling conditions...

that's why some other kid with a birth right legitimacy....

uh...

how does that work?

i mean... how is it the case that all the doctors kids get to do med even in these days of 'far more suitable applicants than places available'. i mean... so much higher than if it were the lottery...

it's just about making sure that people don't realise just how much others depravity (voluntary choices) have made their lives not worth living.

it's just about seeing how low you can get the people to go... how low you can keep them...

because torturing rats and cats and monkeys...

just isn't as fun.

and these seem to be the people we embrace with open arms.

people in charge really are too stupid to tell the difference.

or... its how they prefer the world to be.

i suppose all you can do is draw a ring around it and try your best to isolate it from civilisation

welcome to new zealand

 

Re: inclusive education

Posted by alexandra_k on June 14, 2018, at 22:10:51

In reply to Re: inclusive education, posted by alexandra_k on June 14, 2018, at 21:56:15

and i guess that is the point of the interview. the wealthy psychopaths. how well you play with the wealthy psychopaths. because everyone needs to get their money from somewhere, the idea goes, and so your ability to make nice with the wealthy psychopaths mean you start out with an initial advantage.

what was it, again?

the ones who want to observe... do nothing... observe... send the data off... observe. make a case that people with x history have 'inevitably' bad futures. bad health outcomes are 'inevitable'. there is no hope. what food we persuaded / allowed you to feed your baby means your baby is forever determined not to be a genuine competititor for anything with any baby of mine...

the church redistribution systems.

and what was the last one...

the church has control over births and deaths. succession and inheritance.

equity.

of course.

the equity has to go somewhere,

that much is certain.

unavoidable

and there it is.

 

Re: inclusive education

Posted by alexandra_k on June 14, 2018, at 22:20:04

In reply to Re: inclusive education, posted by alexandra_k on June 14, 2018, at 22:10:51

only... if they really were all that good at collecting up the equity and keeping it (some version of) 'in house' then why wouldn't they simply buy their kids places in medicine instead of their needing to get them in on government funded places?

why couldn't they buy their kids medical degrees in australia or the USA? why here? i guess because they really aren't all that good at collecting up the equity, at all...

and if it really was so inevitable that their kids get to do things rather than other peoples kids why can't they just let the process alone? why do they need to be so very heavy handed with the discrimniation and so on to keep people in their proper place? i mean if it really was inevitable they could surely spend their time on other things.

australia is doing an inquiry into abuses in state care. including churches. we are doing one for abuses in state care - but not churches.

because those people are still alive, you see. you gotta wait until the culpable people are no longer reachable. you gotta give them the chance to discover other 'opportunities'.

not sure why. to be honest. i'm not sure why you do.

which means...

i am not like you.

for sure.

it's not my f*ck*ng job to make these judgements and these determinations... but i don't want to be doctor for these rich awful people... rich awful people like these...

these people don't even want to be helped. just the nodding and smiling and pomp of the ceremony.

i have a friend who... comes out with the strangest things, sometimes.

one of those was 'if my father (for example) was killed in a car crash i'd want the person who came out to tell me that to be wearing a rolex'.

which is an odd thing to say, i think.

i mean...

but i guess it's how people want the people to be cared for. and the pomp and ceremony around that...

well the pomp and ceremony.

that's why a medical degree costs so much, of course. because of the pomp and ceremony you need to learn. because of the rolex you have to buy if you want to be taken seriously as a doctor by, uh, uh...

the people who matter?

?

ffs

 

Re: inclusive education

Posted by alexandra_k on June 14, 2018, at 22:30:50

In reply to Re: inclusive education, posted by alexandra_k on June 14, 2018, at 22:20:04

but, again, these people aren't rich. aren't rich, at all. that's why they are scared and their fear comes out by the determination with which they are driven to oppress others...

i need to remember that i keep thinking that people put significantly more thought and self-reflection and self-analysis and... care... into their decisions... i keep thinking people are more responsible and caring than they actually are.

i keep thinking that the interview is where people are trying to assess good old fashioned values like honestly and integrity and things like that. i keep thinking that kiwi values mean that people value that in thier doctor. not just rich people or poor people or middle-class people but all people. you need to have difficult conversations about smoking and weight with people who do have the power to effect these changes... and you need to help figure how to empower people to effect other kinds of changes (e.g., drinking water, housing insulation) etc... i keep thinking these are the things that matter. these are the things they are looking for in interview.

and of course i'm right.

but the f*ck*ng idiots the boss of me. still.

i know it sounds like i'm arrogant and so on. but i've been self-criticial and so on for a verrrrrrrrrrrry long time now. for a verrrrrrrrrry long time now i did things their way (to the best of my ability) and engaged in apologetics for them.

and i have just run out of reasons on their behalf.

the only reason they understand if foreign sanction in the form of $.

because they are so upset they don't have the $ to make things still worse?

ffs.

nonoononononono euthanasia is always wrong always forever. as soon as you legalise it the church people will involuntarily slaughter the disabled. they've promised. nobody else taking this as a threat?

for really?


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