Psycho-Babble Social Thread 1094100

Shown: posts 1 to 24 of 24. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

Lots of updates

Posted by Deneb on July 12, 2017, at 13:05:18

I'm glad to see that Babble is back up, and that Dr. Bob is still around. :-)

I'm pretty busy these days. I have a good student contract full time job, and I'll be finishing up my last semester of school by next spring.

I'm also getting married in May after I finish my last semester.

We also just bought a house much sooner than expected. We thought the process would take months, but we found our house in about 3 weeks lol.

Next comes some renovations. My fiance will move before I do because we're waiting to be married first before living together.

I'm so excited about the future :-)

I like to think that I relearned how to attach to others here at Babble, by learning how my actions hurt others, and by experiencing my first strong attachment to another person.

Don't worry, my love has greatly matured since Dr. Bob lol. I'm honestly quite normal now. I think my brain was just a little slow to mature.

I'll be sure to take some time later to read the boards, but I wanted to say "Hi" for now. :-)

 

Re: Lots of updates ╗ Deneb

Posted by SLS on July 12, 2017, at 16:55:14

In reply to Lots of updates, posted by Deneb on July 12, 2017, at 13:05:18

:-)

Your story is inspiring. I'm glad you found yourself at such a young age.

Congratulations!


- Scott

 

Re: Lots of updates ╗ SLS

Posted by Deneb on July 12, 2017, at 17:39:49

In reply to Re: Lots of updates ╗ Deneb, posted by SLS on July 12, 2017, at 16:55:14

Thanks Scott!

I hope things are going well for you.

 

Re: Lots of updates

Posted by Dr. Bob on July 13, 2017, at 0:48:22

In reply to Lots of updates, posted by Deneb on July 12, 2017, at 13:05:18

> I'm also getting married in May after I finish my last semester.
>
> I like to think that I relearned how to attach to others here at Babble, by learning how my actions hurt others, and by experiencing my first strong attachment to another person.

Married! Congratulations! What's he like? I'm delighted that Babble played such an important role in your growth.

Bob

 

Re: Lots of updates

Posted by Deneb on July 13, 2017, at 7:39:51

In reply to Re: Lots of updates, posted by Dr. Bob on July 13, 2017, at 0:48:22

> > I'm also getting married in May after I finish my last semester.
> >
> > I like to think that I relearned how to attach to others here at Babble, by learning how my actions hurt others, and by experiencing my first strong attachment to another person.
>
> Married! Congratulations! What's he like? I'm delighted that Babble played such an important role in your growth.
>
> Bob
>
>

I met my fiancÚ more than 4 years ago playing a game outside. We both like to play games. We're both very introverted. He's very logical, and intelligent. I'm very attracted to his mind. He has amazing spatial awareness, and is great at doing calculations in his mind. I, on the other hand am um, challenged in these areas lol.

He's very sweet, kind, and understanding. He's not much of a talker in the presence of strangers, but he can be talkative with more familiar people. I'm pretty much the same way, except I'm more talkative with strangers, and probably a bit more socially aware.

We're both geeky, but he's the bigger geek. :-)

He almost never gets angry, is very laid-back, and accepting of others. In all the years I've known him, I've not seen him angry with me. He doesn't really experience much negative emotions much at all. He has a very stable personality, and emotions.

He's also the least judgemental person I know. He tries to see things from other's perspectives to understand them. I think this is why he almost never gets angry.

He's also extremely hard working when needed. He's definitely more hardworking than I am.

We've both discovered that we're very affectionate people, with is a little weird because we both grew up in homes without physical or verbal affection. He's probably more affectionate than I am, but I love it.

He also taught me to be more silly, and playful. He has great relationships with his friends and family. He's the sort of person who has friends for life. I definitely need to work on my friendships more.

We come from pretty different backgrounds, but our values are amazingly similar. It's like convergent evolution with cultures or something lol.

We love one another very much, and neither of us has any doubts about being together for life.

 

Re: :-) (nm)

Posted by Dr. Bob on July 13, 2017, at 7:43:18

In reply to Re: Lots of updates, posted by Deneb on July 13, 2017, at 7:39:51

 

Re: Lots of updates ╗ Deneb

Posted by SLS on July 13, 2017, at 18:37:54

In reply to Re: Lots of updates, posted by Deneb on July 13, 2017, at 7:39:51

You are both lucky to have found each other. I am happy for you both. You deserve a life rich with happiness and reward. God bless both of you and your life together.

:-) x Million


- Scott

 

Re: Lots of updates ╗ Deneb

Posted by baseball55 on July 14, 2017, at 19:16:07

In reply to Re: Lots of updates, posted by Deneb on July 13, 2017, at 7:39:51

Hi Deneb. So glad things are going well for you. Your fiancÚ sounds wonderful and I wish you the best.

 

Re: Lots of updates ╗ Deneb

Posted by alexandra_k on July 15, 2017, at 4:23:57

In reply to Re: Lots of updates, posted by Deneb on July 13, 2017, at 7:39:51

I'm happy for you, too.

 

Re: Lots of updates

Posted by Justherself54 on July 15, 2017, at 12:29:25

In reply to Re: Lots of updates, posted by Deneb on July 13, 2017, at 7:39:51

So


So happy for you Deneb. Your fiance sounds like a wonderful man and he's very fortunate to have found you too. Keep on growing and loving!

 

Re: Lots of updates

Posted by Deneb on July 16, 2017, at 18:43:25

In reply to Re: Lots of updates, posted by Justherself54 on July 15, 2017, at 12:29:25

Thanks everyone!

I hope you're all doing well too, but if not, there's definitely hope. I never thought I would get married, but here I am lol.

I'm less passive about life now. There's still plenty that is out of our control, and luck has a big part in life, but it's all about the odds. Trying a lot does improve the odds.

 

Re: Lots of updates

Posted by rjlockhart37 on July 20, 2017, at 0:09:39

In reply to Lots of updates, posted by Deneb on July 12, 2017, at 13:05:18

i'm glad to see you back deneb, you've accomplished and have grown in the past decade, i'm happy and wish you the best

 

Re: Lots of updates ╗ Deneb

Posted by alexandra_k on July 21, 2017, at 21:17:32

In reply to Re: Lots of updates, posted by Deneb on July 16, 2017, at 18:43:25

> Thanks everyone!

> I hope you're all doing well too, but if not, there's definitely hope. I never thought I would get married, but here I am lol.

> I'm less passive about life now. There's still plenty that is out of our control, and luck has a big part in life, but it's all about the odds. Trying a lot does improve the odds.

Yeah. Sometimes you need to put yourself out there and do something scary in order to get things that you want. I think I'm learning that I need to be more vocal / demonstrate more persistance (at times) in order to get things that I want.

What are you finishing up in school?

I'm not sure I told you I only managed a C+ for Organic Chemistry. It went a bit too quickly for me with all the functional groups. I was also being beat down by public health people around the same time which involved a lot of time spent writing various documents... But that was a bit of a tragic result, honestly.

I'm 2 weeks into BioChemistry now, though, and so far I'm liking that much better. Learning my amino acids...

I'm really glad to hear things are going well for you.

Do you still have long hair?

 

Re: Lots of updates ╗ Deneb

Posted by beckett2 on August 2, 2017, at 2:59:20

In reply to Lots of updates, posted by Deneb on July 12, 2017, at 13:05:18

You sound content. Bravo!

 

Re: Lots of updates ╗ alexandra_k

Posted by Deneb on September 12, 2017, at 15:08:33

In reply to Re: Lots of updates ╗ Deneb, posted by alexandra_k on July 21, 2017, at 21:17:32

> > Thanks everyone!
>
> > I hope you're all doing well too, but if not, there's definitely hope. I never thought I would get married, but here I am lol.
>
> > I'm less passive about life now. There's still plenty that is out of our control, and luck has a big part in life, but it's all about the odds. Trying a lot does improve the odds.
>
> Yeah. Sometimes you need to put yourself out there and do something scary in order to get things that you want. I think I'm learning that I need to be more vocal / demonstrate more persistance (at times) in order to get things that I want.
>
> What are you finishing up in school?

I'm doing a diploma in web development.

>
> I'm not sure I told you I only managed a C+ for Organic Chemistry. It went a bit too quickly for me with all the functional groups. I was also being beat down by public health people around the same time which involved a lot of time spent writing various documents... But that was a bit of a tragic result, honestly.

A C+ can be pretty good, because organic chemistry can be a difficult subject for many people. I failed organic chemistry II the first time I took it.

>
> I'm 2 weeks into BioChemistry now, though, and so far I'm liking that much better. Learning my amino acids...

That's really good. I found the memorization in biochemistry pretty tough.


>
> I'm really glad to hear things are going well for you.
>
> Do you still have long hair?
>
>
Well, my hair go as long as upper thigh length, then I went on a trip and got fed up washing it on the trip. I took a pair of scissors and chopped it to just above shoulder length immediately after coming back. I had zero regrets.

But, since that chop, my hair is now waist length again even with a significant trim of a few inches a few months ago.

I think I'll just leave it because I'm lazy, and because it'll be easier to put long hair in an updo for my wedding (but it's mostly laziness lol)

 

Re: Lots of updates

Posted by Deneb on June 9, 2018, at 12:35:47

In reply to Re: Lots of updates ╗ alexandra_k, posted by Deneb on September 12, 2017, at 15:08:33

More big updates! I'm not on Babble much these days, but I do drop by a few times a year. Babble is really quiet now. I do miss how Babble used to be.

Anyways, I'm married now (-:

Everything is pretty good. No issues living together with my new husband. I'm still not used to sharing my bed though so I sleep in another room for now. Fortunately my husband understands and is OK with whatever makes me comfortable. I think first we need to get two single beds and put them together before I want to attempt to share my bed again. He's fine with sharing, but I'm a very temperamental sleeper. I need a lot of space.

But the biggest and most shocking news is that I'm pregnant already! I pretty much got pregnant two days after I got married lol.

We were planning on trying to conceive immediately after our wedding because I was worried about it taking a long time to get pregnant due to my older age (36.5). I had been charting my temperature 10 months and using ovulation prediction kits for 5 months before getting married, in preparation for trying to conceive. I had also been taking prenatal vitamins, fish oil, folic acid and ubiquinol for months before.

I had anticipated trouble getting pregnant due to my "geriatric" age for pregnancy, so it was really shocking that I pretty much got pregnant on the first try. It was literally the first time I had sperm in my body and I got pregnant lol.

I'm feeling pretty good now. I'm 4 weeks 5 days pregnant (but the embryo has only existed for 2 weeks 5 days). I find it funny that people are considered pregnant starting from the first day of their last period instead of the last day of ovulation.

No one knows yet besides my husband and I haven't seen my doctor yet. We're probably going to keep it to ourselves until the first trimester is over because of the high chance of spontaneous abortion, especially at my age.

I'm really hoping my embryo/fetus sticks! I'm so excited about having a baby. My husband is great with kids. I like them, but I'm awkward around them and kids don't tend to like me. I don't think I'm very approachable to kids and I don't know how to interact with them. It's all good though because my husband is awesome with them, and I'm sure I'll get better with them with practice.

Initially I had planned on my husband being the stay-at-home dad while I go back to work ASAP (and it's somewhat possible now that I actually make more money than he does now - I get paid a fair wage but he's definitely underpaid for the skills that he has), but I'm reading about the benefits of breast milk and I think I'll attempt to stay home to breastfeed for 6 months if possible.

Either way is fine with us. Ideally nether of us works lol, but that's not practical. He's definitely going to take at least two months paternity leave though. I definitely don't want to get too much more caregiving experience than he does. It's not fair for men. I'm a very strong feminist and I strongly believe in the importance of fathers in children's lives.

 

Re: Lots of updates ╗ Deneb

Posted by jane d on July 16, 2018, at 2:28:49

In reply to Re: Lots of updates, posted by Deneb on June 9, 2018, at 12:35:47

Congratulations on everything!!! I'm very happy for you. I miss you but I'm glad your life is working out so well.

Jane

> More big updates! I'm not on Babble much these days, but I do drop by a few times a year. Babble is really quiet now. I do miss how Babble used to be.
>
> Anyways, I'm married now (-:
>
> Everything is pretty good. No issues living together with my new husband. I'm still not used to sharing my bed though so I sleep in another room for now. Fortunately my husband understands and is OK with whatever makes me comfortable. I think first we need to get two single beds and put them together before I want to attempt to share my bed again. He's fine with sharing, but I'm a very temperamental sleeper. I need a lot of space.
>
> But the biggest and most shocking news is that I'm pregnant already! I pretty much got pregnant two days after I got married lol.
>
> We were planning on trying to conceive immediately after our wedding because I was worried about it taking a long time to get pregnant due to my older age (36.5). I had been charting my temperature 10 months and using ovulation prediction kits for 5 months before getting married, in preparation for trying to conceive. I had also been taking prenatal vitamins, fish oil, folic acid and ubiquinol for months before.
>
> I had anticipated trouble getting pregnant due to my "geriatric" age for pregnancy, so it was really shocking that I pretty much got pregnant on the first try. It was literally the first time I had sperm in my body and I got pregnant lol.
>
> I'm feeling pretty good now. I'm 4 weeks 5 days pregnant (but the embryo has only existed for 2 weeks 5 days). I find it funny that people are considered pregnant starting from the first day of their last period instead of the last day of ovulation.
>
> No one knows yet besides my husband and I haven't seen my doctor yet. We're probably going to keep it to ourselves until the first trimester is over because of the high chance of spontaneous abortion, especially at my age.
>
> I'm really hoping my embryo/fetus sticks! I'm so excited about having a baby. My husband is great with kids. I like them, but I'm awkward around them and kids don't tend to like me. I don't think I'm very approachable to kids and I don't know how to interact with them. It's all good though because my husband is awesome with them, and I'm sure I'll get better with them with practice.
>
> Initially I had planned on my husband being the stay-at-home dad while I go back to work ASAP (and it's somewhat possible now that I actually make more money than he does now - I get paid a fair wage but he's definitely underpaid for the skills that he has), but I'm reading about the benefits of breast milk and I think I'll attempt to stay home to breastfeed for 6 months if possible.
>
> Either way is fine with us. Ideally nether of us works lol, but that's not practical. He's definitely going to take at least two months paternity leave though. I definitely don't want to get too much more caregiving experience than he does. It's not fair for men. I'm a very strong feminist and I strongly believe in the importance of fathers in children's lives.

 

Re: Lots of updates ╗ Deneb

Posted by Tabitha on July 24, 2018, at 13:15:19

In reply to Re: Lots of updates, posted by Deneb on June 9, 2018, at 12:35:47

Wow, Deneb, that's great, I'm so happy to hear of all the changes in your life. I do hope things are still going well with the pregnancy. How funny that your body got pregnant at the very first possible opportunity :-)

I agree with you that having a spouse who's more kid-friendly will help take the pressure off you and let you progress at your own pace. I imagine that having two such contrasting parents would be a good thing for a child.

Anyway, you sound like you are in a really good place mentally, and situational-ly. I appreciate the update. It is always good to hear someone living well despite mental health challenges.

Love, Tabby

 

Re: Lots of updates ╗ Deneb

Posted by SLS on July 24, 2018, at 20:24:56

In reply to Re: Lots of updates, posted by Deneb on June 9, 2018, at 12:35:47

Congratulations!

Live well.


- Scott

 

Re: Lots of updates

Posted by Deneb on August 1, 2018, at 12:00:36

In reply to Re: Lots of updates ╗ Deneb, posted by SLS on July 24, 2018, at 20:24:56

Thanks Jane, Tabitha, and SLS! I miss you guys and the chats especially. I remember them fondly.

The good news is that I'm still pregnant at 12 weeks 2 days today and my first trimester is going smoothly. I didn't throw up at all, and only experienced minor nausea. My dating ultrasound was perfectly normal and I was able to hear my baby's heartbeat at my midwife's appointment at 10 weeks 2 days.

The bad news is that I opted to pay $495 out of pocket for a blood test that checks the fetal DNA from my blood to check for the major trisomies (I'm high risk because I'm 36), but my result came back as insufficient fetal fraction. The test needs a fetal fraction of at least 4%, and from my research the average fetal fraction from the test is 10%, so it's already quite sensitive.

My fetal fraction was only 3% so they were not able to do the test. I did research and read that fetal fraction decreases with increasing maternal weight, but I was only 116 pounds pre-pregnancy, so that can't be it for me. I read a study that said for women up to 60kg, there's a <1% chance of a low fetal fraction.

I spoke with a genetic counselor and they said that autoimmune disease can affect the fetal fraction. I've always had ezcema, so it's very possible I have some immune issue.

I have to get a redo of the test and there's a 60% chance that the redraw will work, but since I skipped the standard nuchal translucency ultrasound to do this fetal DNA test, the genetic counselor suggested I get the standard test in case this DNA test didn't work out for me.

My midwife has been busy covering for others so I have yet to get the new re-test requisition and an appointment for the nuchal translucency ultrasound and corresponding blood test. I'm quickly running out of time for the standard test because it's only accurate up to 13 weeks 5 days.

I'm really stressed out that something may be wrong. I did more research that showed a higher probability of genetic problems if there are two failed tests.

The standard nuchal translucency ultrasound tests also have a fairly high false positive rate of about 5%. I had been looking to avoid that kind of potential stress by going with the higher accuracy fetal DNA test. It was worth $500 for the piece of mind.

It's rough going through these tests, but I wanted to know as soon as possible because I want to terminate if the baby will not survive long.

It's also stressful because my husband believes it's not our place to determine when someone should die. He has a non-intervention approach, likely due to his Christian beliefs.

We had discussed this issue specifically a while back as a hypothetical, and he told me he would understand my decision. I had been worried it was going to be a deal breaker for our relationship. I learned that it wasn't. I know I will ultimately sacrifice the relationship if I had to choose.

I cannot bare the thought of my baby getting born just to suffer and die. I would never forgive myself.

My husband has so far not said a word about what he might prefer. Instead he just hugs me and loves me. He knows how strong I am in my beliefs.

I'm just trying not to lose my mind with anxiety as I wait.

 

Re: Lots of updates ╗ Deneb

Posted by Tabitha on August 1, 2018, at 19:32:36

In reply to Re: Lots of updates, posted by Deneb on August 1, 2018, at 12:00:36

that all sounds like a lot of worry, and I know how anxiety can make you feel like a rat in an electrified cage, ... but it's not a real problem until it's a real problem, you know? Right now it's just worry for a possible (improbable?) future scenario. Try to see it from that perspective, if only a little bit. It's equally possible you'll have a perfectly healthy baby in a few months!

It's great you didn't get much nausea, and great your spouse is supportive!

Take care :-)

 

Re: Lots of updates ╗ Tabitha

Posted by Deneb on August 2, 2018, at 16:15:35

In reply to Re: Lots of updates ╗ Deneb, posted by Tabitha on August 1, 2018, at 19:32:36

> that all sounds like a lot of worry, and I know how anxiety can make you feel like a rat in an electrified cage, ... but it's not a real problem until it's a real problem, you know? Right now it's just worry for a possible (improbable?) future scenario. Try to see it from that perspective, if only a little bit. It's equally possible you'll have a perfectly healthy baby in a few months!
>
> It's great you didn't get much nausea, and great your spouse is supportive!
>
> Take care :-)

Thanks Tabitha!

I was freaking out a lot yesterday and getting depressed about losing my baby.

I thought about it some more and I think that I'll just skip the nuchal translucency ultrasound altogether.

I'll still get the NIPT re-test and hope that I'm in the successful 60%, but the screening process is really stressful for me.

Chances are that things are good. I would rather not risk a false positive.

I'll get the anatomy ultrasound at around 18 weeks.

I'm reading that the longer the pregnancy goes, the lower the chance that something is wrong. That makes sense because genetic issues cause the majority of miscarriages. Nature usually sorts it out by herself by preventing babies with major issues from being born. If the issues are not major enough to cause a miscarriage, then chances are, better than not, that they are mild enough to not be a major issue.

I want to enjoy my pregnancy, not be all depressed about it. I guess I'll just take my chances. It's actually less stressful this way.

How are things with you (and everyone else)?

 

Re: Lots of updates ╗ Deneb

Posted by Tabitha on August 23, 2018, at 12:04:51

In reply to Re: Lots of updates ╗ Tabitha, posted by Deneb on August 2, 2018, at 16:15:35

good for you, I hope it's still smoother sailing for you :-)

I am well. I feel sort of old sometimes, but overall life is comfortable, secure, and as happy as it's ever been. I've been on the same med combo for a long time and pretty stable. No major complaints, and a good amount of gratitude :-)

 

Re: Lots of updates

Posted by Deneb on September 24, 2018, at 16:57:19

In reply to Re: Lots of updates ╗ Deneb, posted by Tabitha on August 23, 2018, at 12:04:51

> good for you, I hope it's still smoother sailing for you :-)
>
> I am well. I feel sort of old sometimes, but overall life is comfortable, secure, and as happy as it's ever been. I've been on the same med combo for a long time and pretty stable. No major complaints, and a good amount of gratitude :-)
>
>

That's good :-)

I'm 20 weeks pregnant as of today. My maternal serum screen gave me really low risk results, so I'm happy.

I got my anatomy scan results back. Baby has a bright spot in the heart, but I did a lot of research on this and babies of my ethnicity have a high rate of this. I read a lot of sources that said it shouldn't even be a marker for us, and the rate for us may even exceed the rate of it in babies with Down's. The spot may just be a variant of normal and causes no harm.

Even with the spot and new odds (calculated based on Caucasian odds I'm sure), I'm still well in the safe negative range for issues so I'm no worried.

However, my scan also showed that the placenta is too close to my cervix. The vast majority migrate to a safer location as the uterus grows, but if it doesn't it means I will need a C-section.

There is a chance of massive bleeding causing emergency C-section if the placenta is disturbed while close to the cervix. It's pretty scary and I'm just hoping that mine migrates.

On a positive note, I feel my baby move and it's the most amazing thing! She's quite active. I was pleasantly surprised to feel her move at 17.5 weeks. It's rare for first time mother's to feel movement before 20 weeks.


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