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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 14 of 14. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by raccoon on September 16, 2015, at 13:35:53
Hello everyone, I am new to this website, I assume here is the place share our feelings...
I am 25, get married in January, I was proud of my marriage at the beginning, but when time past, things went very wrong, I feel so lonely, my husband acts more like a roommate. We have no much things to talking about, I am a housewife, waiting he comes back was my biggest moment of a day, but sadly it wasn't for him.
I tried to go out and find some group to spend some time, but I am foreigner, my English is bad, and I am shy, I feel I am different from people around me, I can't get in.
I am very dissatisfied about my life, everyday is the same, lonely and empty. I know crying is helpless, but I can't stop it, I wish there is someone who can talk to me, cares the thing I cares, understand my feeling, or just give me some orders I can follow.
Am I ask too much, am I sick?
Posted by baseball55 on September 16, 2015, at 19:23:54
In reply to I am so lonely in relationship, posted by raccoon on September 16, 2015, at 13:35:53
This is very hard, to be alone all day and feel limited in doing things because your English is limited. Of course your husband is not going to feel the same about his coming home as you do. He has been busy all day and needs time to unwind. Can you find something to interest you - a class at a local community college or other college or community learning center? A yoga or exercise class? A walking group?
There is a website called meetup.com where you might find groups to go for walks, hikes, to movies. If you do things with people long enough, even if you're shy you'll find yourself talking to people and hopefully, eventually, making friends or at least acquaintances.
If you are so shy that even group activities leave you feeling alone and lonely, maybe you could see a therapist about social anxiety and find a therapy group to learn how to be more comfortable and confident with others.
You are young! You will master English and things will get better. See this unstructured time as an opportunity to find things that interest you. Do not depend on your husband for all your sense of connection and fulfillment. He can't be that, even if he wanted to. We all need to find things that fulfill us.
> Hello everyone, I am new to this website, I assume here is the place share our feelings...
>
> I am 25, get married in January, I was proud of my marriage at the beginning, but when time past, things went very wrong, I feel so lonely, my husband acts more like a roommate. We have no much things to talking about, I am a housewife, waiting he comes back was my biggest moment of a day, but sadly it wasn't for him.
>
> I tried to go out and find some group to spend some time, but I am foreigner, my English is bad, and I am shy, I feel I am different from people around me, I can't get in.
>
> I am very dissatisfied about my life, everyday is the same, lonely and empty. I know crying is helpless, but I can't stop it, I wish there is someone who can talk to me, cares the thing I cares, understand my feeling, or just give me some orders I can follow.
>
> Am I ask too much, am I sick?
Posted by SLS on September 16, 2015, at 19:46:35
In reply to I am so lonely in relationship, posted by raccoon on September 16, 2015, at 13:35:53
Hi.
I am sorry that you feel lonely.
I like what Baseball55 says.
This is a difficult time for you right now.
Be patient.
Do not give up.
Stay here and keep talking.
I hope things get better in your marriage. Communication is important.
I was lonely for a long time. I had nobody.
Psycho-Babble helped. It is good to talk to people - even on the Internet.
You are a good person.
:-)
<smile>
- Scott
Posted by raccoon on September 16, 2015, at 23:33:24
In reply to Re: I am so lonely in relationship, posted by baseball55 on September 16, 2015, at 19:23:54
Thank you baseball55, so glad to see your response. I was in college once, but I am kinda refuse of class discussion, so I quit... It maybe a wrong decision, gets me more out of society. We have a plan to adopt a dog in the following month (We already have one cat), hope that will make my life vital.
Thank you for reading my post, I appreciate your advice and time.
Posted by raccoon on September 16, 2015, at 23:42:46
In reply to Re: I am so lonely in relationship » raccoon, posted by SLS on September 16, 2015, at 19:46:35
Thank you Scott, it was really nice to read your post. I assume you are a happy person now, congrats you jump out of the "lonely chasm"! I will keep post things here, hope everybody who feel lonely can find this website, like you said, just talk make me feel better.
Posted by baseball55 on September 17, 2015, at 18:58:49
In reply to Re: I am so lonely in relationship, posted by raccoon on September 16, 2015, at 23:33:24
Dogs are great because, unlike cats, you can take them for walks and to dog parks and meet other people that way.
> Thank you baseball55, so glad to see your response. I was in college once, but I am kinda refuse of class discussion, so I quit... It maybe a wrong decision, gets me more out of society. We have a plan to adopt a dog in the following month (We already have one cat), hope that will make my life vital.
>
> Thank you for reading my post, I appreciate your advice and time.
Posted by SLS on September 18, 2015, at 16:46:17
In reply to Re: I am so lonely in relationship, posted by raccoon on September 16, 2015, at 23:42:46
How are you?
I hope you are feeling better.
- Scott
Posted by raccoon on September 18, 2015, at 23:14:57
In reply to Re: I am so lonely in relationship » raccoon, posted by SLS on September 18, 2015, at 16:46:17
Thank you for asking, I do feel better~ I brought a small note to record what I have done for each day, and go out at least once a day to get some fresh air.
Say Hi to you Scott :)
Posted by pontormo on October 5, 2015, at 10:59:18
In reply to Re: I am so lonely in relationship, posted by raccoon on September 18, 2015, at 23:14:57
Depression is indeed a smotherer of one's ability to get out and do things to move forward.
Perhaps you might try either therapy or anti-depressants (for a short time, at least) to help you through this period.
But, also try not to judge yourself too harshly, racoon.
Perhaps the one thing you could do that is most important is judge less and do more.
Perhaps finding an English class is a first step you could make. If you don't talk-- that is not so bad. You can listen, and read and write. Start with the tasks that engage you the most-- and perhaps things will grow from there.
One thing leads to another-- and this can be a way.
Posted by Lamdage22 on December 4, 2015, at 10:29:14
In reply to Re: I am so lonely in relationship, posted by pontormo on October 5, 2015, at 10:59:18
Excellent advice!
Start with the tasks that engage you the most-- and perhaps things will grow from there.
>
> One thing leads to another-- and this can be a way.
>
>
Posted by raccoon on October 1, 2016, at 1:07:47
In reply to I am so lonely in relationship, posted by raccoon on September 16, 2015, at 13:35:53
Hi everybody, it's me with the funny animal name racoonn... It has been a year since my first post, big big thanks for all the replies, you guys make me feel I still have connections with the world during that depression time.
Here are a few things I have done during this year:
- I tried to learn new stuff, to knowledge and fill some empty time. It helps.
- Do housework more frequently, a nice and clean home makes a better mood.
- I take online classes, two more to go and I am gonna have a degree :) I feel more confidence for myself, more valuable.My relationship with my husband is much better, my view changed somehow maybe? We are happier. He is always a good person, I do not know exactly what helped, his routine is still the same: work, home, dinner, game, sleep. But we have more and better communications, laugh more~
I have an advice for someone suffer in a bad mood: when life treats you bad, go read something scientific, like the universe, biology, chemistry, anything that has nothing to do with daily life, to have a break for what continuing stuck in mind. It helps me more or little.
Sometimes I still feel very bad, but it usually goes away the next day. When I know it will go soon, I just wait the day to pass. DO not give up hope, you never know.
I wish everyone have a happy and healthy life, really!
Posted by raccoon on October 1, 2016, at 1:12:40
In reply to Re: I am so lonely in relationship, posted by pontormo on October 5, 2015, at 10:59:18
Thank you pontormo! Thank you for your advice, I love it: one thing leads to another. Sorry for this very late reply, I feel totally different now, happier :)
I do not know if you are still check website? Wish you all good!
Posted by raccoon on October 1, 2016, at 1:15:03
In reply to Re: I am so lonely in relationship, posted by Lamdage22 on December 4, 2015, at 10:29:14
Thank you Lamdage22! It was nice to know somebody cares :)
Posted by Tabitha on October 2, 2016, at 12:49:39
In reply to Re: I am so lonely in relationship, posted by raccoon on October 1, 2016, at 1:15:03
Hi racooon. It's good to hear things are improving for you. I can relate to feeling alone and isolated at home. A few small changes in routine can make a big difference.
This is the end of the thread.
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