Psycho-Babble Social Thread 1053315

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Re: Poet

Posted by Dinah on November 1, 2013, at 16:45:27

In reply to Re: Poet Dinah, posted by Poet on November 1, 2013, at 16:41:11

I've got my fingers crossed. Old fashioned is to my taste as well. And no game playing.

Good grief. What a question. "Tell me about a time when you disagreed with your boss?" It makes me terrified to even think about such interviews.

What's the "right" answer? I expect it isn't "I yelled right back at him, or else he wouldn't have heard me." or "I burst into tears and he can't stand to see tears so he took out his frustrations on someone more robust." Or even "I avoided him until the matter dropped."

 

Re: Poet Dinah

Posted by Poet on November 1, 2013, at 18:25:11

In reply to Re: Poet, posted by Dinah on November 1, 2013, at 16:45:27


> Good grief. What a question. "Tell me about a time when you disagreed with your boss?" It makes me terrified to even think about such interviews.
>
> What's the "right" answer? I expect it isn't "I yelled right back at him, or else he wouldn't have heard me." or "I burst into tears and he can't stand to see tears so he took out his frustrations on someone more robust." Or even "I avoided him until the matter dropped."

You're supposed to say something like: I asked for a private meeting and shared my concerns and we came to a mutual agreement.

At least that's what I got from one of the many job interview books I've read. The questions are just so ridiculous, another horrible one is how do you work with a difficult co-worker. True answer is I talked about her behind her back with everybody else who hated her and walked on egg shells in her presence. She used to tattle to the boss if we talked out loud, in a small room with six people in cubes. I don't miss her one bit.

Keep those fingers crossed.

Poet

 

Re: Poet

Posted by baseball55 on November 2, 2013, at 19:45:43

In reply to Re: Poet Dinah, posted by Poet on November 1, 2013, at 18:25:11

Only once did I have to go through an HR screening to get a real interview. It really is so crazy. They have all these boilerplate questions which have nothing to do with whether you would get along with your co-workers and do the actual job well.

A couple I remember -- tell me about a time when you were challenged and how you met that challenge. Tell me about a situation in which you took a leadership role.

Ugh!! Good luck on your interview. Interviews are the most stressful experiences imaginable.

 

Re: Poet baseball55

Posted by Poet on November 3, 2013, at 11:28:13

In reply to Re: Poet, posted by baseball55 on November 2, 2013, at 19:45:43

Hi Baseball,

I absolutely hate those behavioral questions, anything that starts with tell me about a time...never ends well.

I'm hoping that since this time it's with attorneys, they won't b.s. around and stick to questions that relate to my skills.

Thanks for wishing me luck, I really need it.

Poet

 

Re: Interview Today

Posted by Poet on November 5, 2013, at 17:47:41

In reply to Poet, posted by Partlycloudy on October 29, 2013, at 14:11:23

Parts went great, one of the attorneys and I really clicked, the not so great part were things that I haven't done. I hope I came across as intelligent and willing and able to learn. I tried hard to keep a smile on my face without looking like Sheldon on "Big Bang Theory."

They asked for references so that might be a positive sign. I'll ask them to let me know if they are calling them so I can give them a head's up. They said they hope to make a decision within two weeks.

They all seemed nice and I hope I read that right, my T thinks I have trouble accurately reading facial expressions.

My new mantra: I wasn't always a failure...

Poet

 

Re: Interview Today Poet

Posted by Dinah on November 5, 2013, at 18:10:20

In reply to Re: Interview Today, posted by Poet on November 5, 2013, at 17:47:41

Well, I would protest that you're not a failure now. However, I know that sometimes I respond best to incremental mantras. :)

Today's interview sounds promising. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you. The atmosphere sounds more congenial than HR madness.

 

Re: Interview Today Dinah

Posted by Poet on November 5, 2013, at 19:02:23

In reply to Re: Interview Today Poet, posted by Dinah on November 5, 2013, at 18:10:20

Hi Dinah,

Not one "tell me about" question. It was all work related. I sent my references so now the wait begins.

 

Re: Second Interview!!!!!!!

Posted by Poet on November 6, 2013, at 16:26:30

In reply to Re: Interview Today, posted by Poet on November 5, 2013, at 17:47:41

I have a second interview on Friday. I am beyond excited as November 7, 2012 was when I got fired from my last job. It's like it took a year, but it will finally happen.

To paraphrase Scarlett O'Hara "as God is my witness, I shall never be a temp or a receptionist again." I am actually a real good temp, but as I have social anxiety and crave privacy, sitting out in the open is not the best for my mental well being.

Poet

 

Yessssss!!!!

Posted by Dinah on November 6, 2013, at 17:16:03

In reply to Re: Second Interview!!!!!!!, posted by Poet on November 6, 2013, at 16:26:30

I'll be sending positive energy your way on Friday. I hope this is the one.

 

Re: Second Interview!!!!!!! Poet

Posted by Partlycloudy on November 6, 2013, at 17:35:34

In reply to Re: Second Interview!!!!!!!, posted by Poet on November 6, 2013, at 16:26:30

That's great news! I will be thinking of you then and sending good vibes.
PC

(I think I was the world's worst temp. Panic attack every new assignment. I'm sure I charmed them all - not.)

 

Re: Interview Today

Posted by alexandra_k on November 8, 2013, at 2:11:11

In reply to Re: Interview Today Dinah, posted by Poet on November 5, 2013, at 19:02:23


> Not one "tell me about" question. It was all work related. I sent my references so now the wait begins.

WOnderful! A job interview that actually focused on work related questions! They really are few and far between...

I've got my fingers crossed for you! Really hoping that things work out.

If they don't... At least some faith in the world is established that there are actually people who work who are able to focus on work!

Hang in there. Hoping that you find your fit real soon :)


 

Re: Yessssss!!!! Dinah

Posted by Poet on November 8, 2013, at 14:36:06

In reply to Yessssss!!!!, posted by Dinah on November 6, 2013, at 17:16:03

Hi Dinah,

I thought it went well, they gave three people second interviews, I was the first of the day. I hope I came across as confident and not desperate. I should hear by early next week.

Poet

 

Re: Second Interview!!!!!!! Partlycloudy

Posted by Poet on November 8, 2013, at 14:37:36

In reply to Re: Second Interview!!!!!!! Poet, posted by Partlycloudy on November 6, 2013, at 17:35:34

Hi PC,

I thought I did good, but they gave three candidates second interviews. It's hard to be positive, but I'm really trying. I can't be a receptionist again, it's too stressful, I need my own little space to try to hide in.

Poet

 

Re: Interview Today (11/8) alexandra_k

Posted by Poet on November 8, 2013, at 14:39:54

In reply to Re: Interview Today, posted by alexandra_k on November 8, 2013, at 2:11:11

Hi Alex,

I base my self worth on work and since I haven't had any work other then temp jobs in the last year my self esteem is low. I hope I get his one, the hours are good, the attorneys seem nice and I really need to do work that interests me, not stresses or depresses me.

Keep those fingers crossed.

Poet

 

No Surprise- I didn't get it

Posted by Poet on November 13, 2013, at 12:14:37

In reply to Re: Interview Today (11/8) alexandra_k, posted by Poet on November 8, 2013, at 14:39:54

I've now had 20 interviews and the only offers are for horrible temp jobs. The temp jobs extend my unemployment checks, but do nothing to help me get a full time job doing what I am actually good at. Or at least I thought I was good at.

I think it's time to change my posting name to Failure as I can't write poetry worth squat any more.

Failure = Poet

 

Re: didn't get it

Posted by alexandra_k on November 13, 2013, at 17:04:30

In reply to No Surprise- I didn't get it, posted by Poet on November 13, 2013, at 12:14:37

I'm sad to hear that you didn't get the job. I hate that process of getting into the spirit of really wanting it then to find out that I didn't.

I spent about a year applying for government jobs. Got tested for the very first position I applied for (department of corrections) but no other looks in. My other friends (with similar qualifications) said that it takes more like 2 years to get something. That it took them about that amount of time.

It really is demoralizing though, I understand that. That was partly why I decided to return to study. I... Couldn't handle the process of applying for jobs anymore. It is just that much harder to get jobs than it used to be.

I know it is hard to not take it personally - but it really isn't personal. You know you interviewed really well indeed - because you were invited back for a second. You don't go through the effort of doing a second round if you have written a person off already. And you are getting interviews, too. So... It sounds to me that it really is a matter of (the dreaded) persistence. And it isn't at all that you are bad on paper or that you interview badly.

You could ask them for further feedback -- I'm never sure whether it is best to or not. Or if they may know of any other positions that they think may suit you. If you can let them know that you appreciated their process (that they didn't ask you irrelevant questions etc) then... Who knows...

Hang in there Poet. Things will get better for you. I firmly believe that. 4 weeks ago... I thought things were pretty f*ck*ng hopeless for me... I know if someone said 'cheer up, things will get better' I probably would have felt like hitting them... But you are an articulate, intelligent, compassionate human being. Hang in there.

 

Re: didn't get it alexandra_k

Posted by Poet on November 14, 2013, at 9:52:04

In reply to Re: didn't get it, posted by alexandra_k on November 13, 2013, at 17:04:30


>Hang in there Poet. Things will get better for you. I firmly believe that. 4 weeks ago... I thought things were pretty f*ck*ng hopeless for me... I know if someone said 'cheer up, things will get better' I probably would have felt like hitting them... But you are an articulate, intelligent, compassionate human being. Hang in there.
>

Thanks, Alex, it's so hard not to personalize rejection. I really thought we clicked and I had it. Calling for feedback won't be effective as they are lawyers and they know the consequences for letting something slip. Maybe the person they hired won't work out, that happened to me once before.

I have another crappy temp job for two days next week, another receptionist position. I will have to take Clonazepam just sit there for eight hours. And I'll flee to my car on breaks to have some privacy.

Thanks again for your words of encouragement.

Poet

 

Re: didn't get it Poet

Posted by Partlycloudy on November 14, 2013, at 10:02:52

In reply to Re: didn't get it alexandra_k, posted by Poet on November 14, 2013, at 9:52:04

It is better to wait for the fit that is right than the "next job". I had too many of those.
It is so hard in this country right now. Unless you want to pick tomatoes and make $5.00 an hour.

 

Re: didn't get it

Posted by alexandra_k on November 14, 2013, at 10:29:09

In reply to Re: didn't get it alexandra_k, posted by Poet on November 14, 2013, at 9:52:04

I tend to personalize rejection, too. Don't have such a tendency when it comes to other people, though.

One of the things that I regretted for a very long time was not asking about why I didn't get a place in the first med school I applied to. I thought I interviewed well and the only hoop after that was the academic board (and academic boards typically love me). I didn't ask because... Well... I was busy personalizing the rejection, I suppose. Then I was angry at them.

But then I had a number of different theories as to what went wrong. And some of those involved things about me that I can't change, some involved things that I can. Some of them I would take personally if that was the reason. Others I wouldn't feel so badly about it.

I have heard that when it comes down to the final few (after the interview goes well) then it really is idiosyncratic. It isn't that they are ruling out people they don't like (perhaps reason to take it personally) it is rather that they could be happy with any of them... But they need to pick the best.

And the best isn't about 'the best'. It is about fit. Usually about something idiosyncratic. They liked the smell of that hair shampoo or the person has the same name as their dear old mother or... Or the people have different preferences and one of the people who interviewed you is pissy that they didn't hire you...

I never thought to ask about feedback until I learned that one of my friends did regularly ask for feedback. Took her 2 years to get a job with ministry of defense... She said that they didn't mind giving her the feedback. She asked when she didn't get an interview, too, and they actually gave her lots of helpful tips for her CV.

Ask (if you do) in the spirit of your learning something from the process rather than your being angry / taking it personally. If that makes sense / if you can.

Mostly what she was getting... Was that they were worried she was too smart. That to start out she would be doing fairly basic stuff like photocopying etc etc. Because... It took manpower to train her, basically, and how much of that / when that was available varied over time. Then simple jobs... While she learned to do things their way. Basically... From what I gather from her now (a couple years and several promotions later into her job) it took more manpower than most to train her. They kept needing to give her busywork tasks that seemed important / meaningful (that gave her the chance to use her brain) while they were training her in order to keep her mentally occupied. So... She took rather more work than most. But of course it is paying off for them now, several years down the track. (Or so they are leading her to believe).

So... Knowing that now... She looks back and laughs. She didn't get a lot of jobs because she was too smart. Ahahaha. Of course it is only funny because she eventually got something. Something that keeps her mentally occupied and pays well...

 

I didn't get it Poet

Posted by Dinah on November 14, 2013, at 16:42:19

In reply to No Surprise- I didn't get it, posted by Poet on November 13, 2013, at 12:14:37

((( Poet )))

I know it's hard not to define yourself by your employment. But I can't ever imagine myself thinking of you as a failure. Failing thus far in finding a job - especially in a market where supply far exceeds demand - is not my yardstick for being a failure.

 

Re: I didn't get it

Posted by baseball55 on November 14, 2013, at 20:23:31

In reply to I didn't get it Poet, posted by Dinah on November 14, 2013, at 16:42:19

Poet - Don't lose sight of the fact the economy s**cks right now. A lot of very talented and experienced people have lost their jobs and are having a hard time finding new ones -- even lousy new ones like working at Home Depot. Nearly a third of all people who are unemployed right now have been out of work for six months or more.

It's hard not to take it personally, but you're up against a very tough labor market.

 

Re: didn't get it Partlycloudy

Posted by Poet on November 15, 2013, at 17:46:23

In reply to Re: didn't get it Poet, posted by Partlycloudy on November 14, 2013, at 10:02:52

Hi PC,

I hope that right fit comes soon, I've been looking for over a year.

New mantra, temping is not fresh hell, no wait, yes it is.

Poet

 

Re: didn't get it alexandra_k

Posted by Poet on November 15, 2013, at 17:48:50

In reply to Re: didn't get it, posted by alexandra_k on November 14, 2013, at 10:29:09

Hi Alex,

I think you have a good point that it could be that they liked another person's name or shampoo or whatever. It's just a struggle for me to accept the rejection, 20 interviews and 20 rejections in a year.

Poet

 

Re: I didn't get it Dinah

Posted by Poet on November 15, 2013, at 17:51:46

In reply to I didn't get it Poet, posted by Dinah on November 14, 2013, at 16:42:19

Hi Dinah,

Thanks for not seeing me as a failure. I have to accept that my employment is not me. I just need a job that at least uses half my brain and I have some privacy, even if it isn't in what I thought was my perfect field.

Poet

 

Re: I didn't get it baseball55

Posted by Poet on November 15, 2013, at 17:53:41

In reply to Re: I didn't get it, posted by baseball55 on November 14, 2013, at 20:23:31

Hi Baseball,

You're right that the economy s**cks and that many people are unemployed for over six months. It's been a year and I've just had it with interviews and no offers. It's like dangling a carrot. Thanks for understanding and not seeing failure.

Poet


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