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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 13 of 13. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Angela2 on October 26, 2013, at 15:01:10
This is kind of embarrassing to admit, but I'm just sitting here, eating candy. I'm not sure if that's normal or not. lol. But anyway, I haven't had a job in like 2 months now. Before that, I had a job for 3 years. But I quit. Because things got weird. And boring . and stressful, and I guess I'd rather not talk about it.
I'm supposed to be looking for another job. But, I'm not, really. I got a call back from a job I sent in a resume to, and we had been playing telephone tag, until, I just didn't call her back. I don't know why I don't want another job right now.
But I get lonely and bored a lot on my own. I have started taking an art class. And I signed up for an online writing class (I was taking an url writing class, but it didn't really work out atm).
Then there's my family. Mainly my extended family. They want me to have a job. I think they want me to be successful. But my mom blows it all out of proportion. We are having a get together next weekend, and she's acting like it would be embarrassing to me if I went because they'll be asking me about myself. My mom cares a lot about what other people think. And she herself is a negative gossip (about other people in the family, not about me).
I guess it just sucks doing this all on my own. People want me to be successful, but they don't want to be supportive. At least that's how it feels. Maybe I shouldn't care what they think.
I do have a therapist. And I am doing my best. I just went for a walk. I am going to try and go to church tomorrow.
I dunno.. If anyone has anything supportive to say, I would appreciate it so much. Thanks.
Posted by Twinleaf on October 26, 2013, at 15:18:59
In reply to stress., posted by Angela2 on October 26, 2013, at 15:01:10
It sounds as if you have your situation figured out really well. Right now, it's hard to actively pursue a job, and there does seem to be a lack of support from your family - particularly your mother. Is there anyone who you could count on to be more supportive while you are working to regain your confidence and initiative? Just one unconditionally supportive person - in addition to your therapist, of course? That might make a huge difference.
Posted by alexandra_k on October 26, 2013, at 16:20:07
In reply to Re: stress., posted by Twinleaf on October 26, 2013, at 15:18:59
Well, I managed to eat a whole big block of chocolate by myself last night. I suspect it is a lot more normal than people like to think. I can't get over how every time I buy chocolate there are lots of women skulking in the isle looking guilty... I guess this whole idea of restrictive eating is all the rage...
If I buy chocolate that is over 80% cocoa solids it takes me a couple days to eat it and I don't get another craving for a while... But sometimes I simply don't.
Meh.
I suspect this is normal.
I'm sorry to hear that your Mother isn't all that supportive right now. My step-mother is fairly similar. Has these hierarchy ideas about being better than the neighbours or whatever. I've come to learn that people who are like that are most often those who are most afraid that they are being negatively judged by others.
I have been looking (off and on, sometimes hard sometimes not really at all) for a job over the past couple years. Nothing. Times are hard in that respect.
You said about returning to school.. Ur... HOw about law or something? The idea of doing a professional qualification, I mean. Just a thought.
Still... The writing course sounds cool. Journalism?
Meh. Sometimes it is time for some time out. Hang in there.
Posted by Angela2 on October 26, 2013, at 18:39:20
In reply to Re: stress., posted by alexandra_k on October 26, 2013, at 16:20:07
Alexandra K and twinleaf, thanks for responding.
I am feeling better now. I watched a movie and drove out to the bookstore and back. :)It's not so much that my mom isn't supportive, but she has her own issues to deal with. And she doesn't even really deal with them. And I guess sometimes I feel like she doesn't care what I'm going through.
It's a good idea to find someone else to look to. I like coming here, actually. I know that it's just online, but I've gotten some great supports before online.
I will figure the whole stupid (lol) job thing out.
Posted by alexandra_k on October 27, 2013, at 0:06:21
In reply to Re: stress., posted by Angela2 on October 26, 2013, at 18:39:20
I like coming here, too. I think some of my best supports have been online, too. Take your time with the figuring. I can't remember where I picked this up from, but I quite like it: There is all the time there is. Sometimes trying to force things doesn't help so much. In my case, anyways.
Posted by rockerchick46 on November 2, 2013, at 20:10:24
In reply to stress., posted by Angela2 on October 26, 2013, at 15:01:10
OK you're not alone. I had a job that I liked it was just the rest of my life and my luck in the man department that I hated.
I was a receptionist.With a BIG fishbowl of candy on my desk. Best part about the fishbowl was it was on MY desk so i could just reach into it at any time (Wink Wink)
I got so fat and unhappy that I quit my job and went off the meds that were making me so fat and to crave chocolate so much.
I quit to chase my dreams. I'm still not a professional musician and singer and guitar player like my idol Lita Ford but I was out of work for almost a year (fortunately just before I was in the street I got a retroactive SSD check) and I am much happier now. I even think I would like being a nurse even better than a rock star and the paychecks are more stable too.
Sooo Take your time and chase your dreams. Write, journal and explore. Chase what makes YOU happy.
And come up with some polite BS to tell people in passing when they ask what you do for a living.
You could tell them you quit your job to write the great American Novel. ??
Your mom I think just wants you to have an answer to that question in passing. Maybe the people who hear that will start to tell you their secret artistic dreams and then you will have the subject for a book.Happy dreaming
Tam
Posted by Angela2 on November 3, 2013, at 16:53:05
In reply to Re: stress., posted by rockerchick46 on November 2, 2013, at 20:10:24
Hey Rocker Chick! I am really inspired by what you wrote to me. So, thank you. I appreciate that someone else has something to say on not having a job and isn't all like "oh, you better get another job quick." Thanks for telling me to follow my dreams :)
Posted by rockerchick46 on November 3, 2013, at 18:10:59
In reply to Re: stress. » rockerchick46, posted by Angela2 on November 3, 2013, at 16:53:05
> Hey Rocker Chick! I am really inspired by what you wrote to me. So, thank you. I appreciate that someone else has something to say on not having a job and isn't all like "oh, you better get another job quick." Thanks for telling me to follow my dreams :)
>
>Glad to help! take your time and find what makes you happy. It might be a hobby or a relationship not a job although i think you should try to do whatever it is you love for a living and the money will come in time. And right now I think you need to find out what that is.
Tam
Posted by Partlycloudy on November 5, 2013, at 16:30:07
In reply to Re: stress., posted by rockerchick46 on November 2, 2013, at 20:10:24
What an awesome piece of advice. And yes, Lita Ford rocks.
PC
Posted by baseball55 on November 5, 2013, at 19:22:40
In reply to Re: stress. » rockerchick46, posted by Partlycloudy on November 5, 2013, at 16:30:07
For me, not having a job is the most stressful and frightening thing imaginable. I lived, when I was young, always on the edge of poverty. My husband grew up so poor, that they lost their home, never had enough food.
I worked constantly since I was 16. Three years ago, I was laid off due to state budget cuts. I entered a nursing program while I collected unemployment benefits. But I realized that nursing was not for me, so I quit the program and totally freaked. How am I going to support myself?!!!
Then my former boss called and said the budget was restored -- did I want to come back to my former job? I nearly cried, I was so grateful.
I can't imagine being unemployed and just taking it easy. How do you support yourself? How do you deal with economic insecurity?
My husband's poverty as a child was so bad that he lives in fear of becoming homeless, even though he has been working steadily for years now.
Posted by Partlycloudy on November 5, 2013, at 20:25:12
In reply to Re: stress., posted by baseball55 on November 5, 2013, at 19:22:40
My disability payment is very good because I was able to work for as long as I did. My advocate lobbied for a liveable amount. My husband is still working (and can't wait to retire, but he's got a goal in mind before he'll consider it).
Being on disability is the first time I have felt any security in years and was an enormous relief.
Posted by rockerchick46 on November 6, 2013, at 6:36:51
In reply to Re: stress. » rockerchick46, posted by Partlycloudy on November 5, 2013, at 16:30:07
> What an awesome piece of advice. And yes, Lita Ford rocks.
> PCShe Sure Does and Thanks!
Tam
Posted by rockerchick46 on November 6, 2013, at 6:39:04
In reply to Re: stress. » baseball55, posted by Partlycloudy on November 5, 2013, at 20:25:12
> My disability payment is very good because I was able to work for as long as I did. My advocate lobbied for a liveable amount. My husband is still working (and can't wait to retire, but he's got a goal in mind before he'll consider it).
> Being on disability is the first time I have felt any security in years and was an enormous relief.
>My disabilty payment has kept me off the street. too.
Tam
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