Psycho-Babble Social Thread 906243

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Thanx Phillipa. NO thanx to all other ladies :-((

Posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on July 12, 2009, at 22:04:09

In reply to Re: Need help Ladies (Guys?)..re dating website,,, » Jay_Bravest_Face, posted by Phillipa on July 12, 2009, at 20:18:12

I've contributed on this site for almost a decade, and I thought some people could help me in such a trying time. Others have their problems and get advice and such galore.

 

Moi thinks U very handsome-don't change anything:) » Jay_Bravest_Face

Posted by gobbledygook on July 12, 2009, at 22:27:22

In reply to Thanx Phillipa. NO thanx to all other ladies :-((, posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on July 12, 2009, at 22:04:09

Me thinks you look very handsome, Jay! You've got a sweet smile...don't change nothing! Just be yourself and have confidence. Confidence and good heart trumps all! And smarts, too.

That's my $0.02 advice!

 

Re: Thanx Phillipa. NO thanx to all other ladies :-(( » Jay_Bravest_Face

Posted by gobbledygook on July 12, 2009, at 22:35:28

In reply to Thanx Phillipa. NO thanx to all other ladies :-((, posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on July 12, 2009, at 22:04:09

> I've contributed on this site for almost a decade, and I thought some people could help me in such a trying time. Others have their problems and get advice and such galore.

Jay,

I know it's hard when you put yourself out there, but I wouldn't take it too personally...it's summer and they're probably just busy.

You really do have a great smile though, and you seem like a very nice person here. :)

Ava

 

Re: Thanx Phillipa. NO thanx to all other ladies : » Jay_Bravest_Face

Posted by Bobby on July 12, 2009, at 23:25:41

In reply to Thanx Phillipa. NO thanx to all other ladies :-((, posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on July 12, 2009, at 22:04:09

I don't know what to say Jay-I've always tried to throw in my two cents----but I see nothing wrong with your pic at all--nada--although people do like smiles(I'm just grasping for straws). all I can offer is how it worked for me. Worked too hard at it---gave despair signals---gave up----got lucky. Take it easy and be yourself above all else---in the end----that's all you'll/she'll be left with----who you really are. Looks count ---but not so much as you'd think----that's the Nitty Gritty of it. Not too fast too soon--and no sad stories. good luck man!

 

Re: Thanx Phillipa. NO thanx to all other ladies :-(( » Jay_Bravest_Face

Posted by Phillipa on July 12, 2009, at 23:27:00

In reply to Thanx Phillipa. NO thanx to all other ladies :-((, posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on July 12, 2009, at 22:04:09

Jay I don't think it's personal really I don't. I'd agree with Gobble And Also there has been a lot of dispute on admin have you been there? Might want to check it out. And it's Sunday so wait til tomorrow the comments will increase want to make a bet?????? Love Phillipa

 

Re: Thanx Phillipa. NO thanx to all other ladies :-(( » Jay_Bravest_Face

Posted by 10derHeart on July 13, 2009, at 0:54:17

In reply to Thanx Phillipa. NO thanx to all other ladies :-((, posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on July 12, 2009, at 22:04:09

So, Jay, we get around 30 hours - give or take to respond to your OP, or it's "no thanks to all other ladies?"

Are you sure?

It sometimes takes me 30 hours to even remember my own name, and that I am supposed to shower, dress, study, clean, and Lord know what else that's too much for me - depending on the day/week/month/mood/RL cr*p happening.

Then, there's Babble, and maybe it's overwhelming, or baffling, or confusing, or...can't get to all these boards yet...or whatever.

A day + a few hours isn't all that much time on a message board....is it?

Could all other ladies have more time?

Just sayin'...don't write us all off.

 

Re: Moi thinks U very handsome-don't change anything:) » gobbledygook

Posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on July 13, 2009, at 7:01:34

In reply to Moi thinks U very handsome-don't change anything:) » Jay_Bravest_Face, posted by gobbledygook on July 12, 2009, at 22:27:22

> Me thinks you look very handsome, Jay! You've got a sweet smile...don't change nothing! Just be yourself and have confidence. Confidence and good heart trumps all! And smarts, too.
>
> That's my $0.02 advice!

Ahhhh...geeee.....schuks thanx...:) Now I feel like a big dork...lol. I have some issues..yah...you could say...and they probably make me extra sensitive. I tend to feel isolated and misunderstood because of the past death of my child and future wife, so I seem to curl up into a ball and say "the h@ll with you" if they even mildly reject me. So....I'm working on it. And that was about the hardest thing I have ever had to say......wow...man

 

Re: Thanx Phillipa. NO thanx to all other ladies :-(( » gobbledygook

Posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on July 13, 2009, at 7:04:52

In reply to Re: Thanx Phillipa. NO thanx to all other ladies :-(( » Jay_Bravest_Face, posted by gobbledygook on July 12, 2009, at 22:35:28

> > I've contributed on this site for almost a decade, and I thought some people could help me in such a trying time. Others have their problems and get advice and such galore.
>
> Jay,
>
> I know it's hard when you put yourself out there, but I wouldn't take it too personally...it's summer and they're probably just busy.
>
> You really do have a great smile though, and you seem like a very nice person here. :)
>
> Ava
>
>

Thanks again....you are just too sweet..can I write you???...hahaaaha...sorry...just kinda kidding..;-)

Jay

 

Re: Thanx Phillipa. NO thanx to all other ladies : » Bobby

Posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on July 13, 2009, at 7:17:43

In reply to Re: Thanx Phillipa. NO thanx to all other ladies : » Jay_Bravest_Face, posted by Bobby on July 12, 2009, at 23:25:41

> I don't know what to say Jay-I've always tried to throw in my two cents----but I see nothing wrong with your pic at all--nada--although people do like smiles(I'm just grasping for straws). all I can offer is how it worked for me. Worked too hard at it---gave despair signals---gave up----got lucky. Take it easy and be yourself above all else---in the end----that's all you'll/she'll be left with----who you really are. Looks count ---but not so much as you'd think----that's the Nitty Gritty of it. Not too fast too soon--and no sad stories. good luck man!


Hey Bobby...you *always* come through...you should run for Governor of Texas...I don't care the party...you are just good..and that is all that counts. You've supported, said and yes done things for me (remember you and I where on MSN 1 to 1 and you took off all your clothes and...)...oppss..haha..just kidding...sorry..:).

Weird thing on the dating site is, is that women are just as bad as men, They sum you up by your pic. I've been told I have the most amazing profile by women, but then they gen my pic and it's like "ohhh...sorry you are not my type.."

I am always positive....no really personal things until 4-5 months. Urrrggg...I dunnooooo...

Thanks,
Jay

 

Re: Thanx Phillipa. NO thanx to all other ladies :-(( » 10derHeart

Posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on July 13, 2009, at 7:30:26

In reply to Re: Thanx Phillipa. NO thanx to all other ladies :-(( » Jay_Bravest_Face, posted by 10derHeart on July 13, 2009, at 0:54:17

> So, Jay, we get around 30 hours - give or take to respond to your OP, or it's "no thanks to all other ladies?"
>
> Are you sure?
>
> It sometimes takes me 30 hours to even remember my own name, and that I am supposed to shower, dress, study, clean, and Lord know what else that's too much for me - depending on the day/week/month/mood/RL cr*p happening.
>
> Then, there's Babble, and maybe it's overwhelming, or baffling, or confusing, or...can't get to all these boards yet...or whatever.
>
> A day + a few hours isn't all that much time on a message board....is it?
>
> Could all other ladies have more time?
>
> Just sayin'...don't write us all off.
>

10der....look I honestly didn't really mean it so harsh. It's just been frustrating, as I am taking this very seriously. I SO badly want to start a little family and such. I know it doesn't happen overnight, but I've been working a couple of websites since last winter.

Now, also, my Grandmother died Saturday night, and it is really affecting my Mom, who is elderly herself, at 71 years old. I badly want to bring some *life* into this family...because my parents have been the most amazing people in the world to me. And I KNOW I will make a good, loving Dad.

So, sorry for letting my nerves get the best of me. You know I don't want to argue. That IS WHY i STAY away from admin....I think it is toxic arguing...just IMHO.

Best,
Jay

 

Re: Need help Ladies (Guys?)..re dating website,,, » Jay_Bravest_Face

Posted by Dinah on July 13, 2009, at 12:11:05

In reply to Need help Ladies (Guys?)..re dating website,,,, posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on July 11, 2009, at 13:09:29

I think people are at their most attractive when they're relaxed and doing something they enjoy. Very few computer cams take flattering pictures.

Do you have any snapshots of you when you are relaxing with your family, or looking at your dad? Where you're smiling and relaxed? If I were you, I'd scan one of those in and isolate your face.

The pictures I've got of my husband that I most love are when he's with my son. Even if I crop only his face, there is a warmth about him that appeals.

There's nothing wrong with the basic ingredients, Jay. But presentation is everything. If this is something that you take seriously, it would pay off to invest some of your time in coming up with a photo that shows off your best features.

One of my favorite expressions ever about presentation was this clip.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QrRUXsDumrM&feature=channel

Starting at 1:40.

I'm not saying your current picture presents you badly. Certainly not on a garbage can lid. But I am saying that if you want this to reap maximum benefits, you probably want to provide the best possible presentation. Have a bit of fun with it. It's a good time to review recent family photos, or to take new ones.

 

Re: Thanx Phillipa. NO thanx to all other ladies :

Posted by manic 666 on July 13, 2009, at 14:31:45

In reply to Re: Thanx Phillipa. NO thanx to all other ladies : » Bobby, posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on July 13, 2009, at 7:17:43

now then jay a little advice from the master, if the lady is a doll ,tell her she is , say you could bathe in her beauty,caress her like a flower,an every night tell you dream of her and she is in you mind always. but if she is a dog?shag her an go for a burger???????????????????

 

Re: Thanx Phillipa. NO thanx to all other ladies : » manic 666

Posted by Phillipa on July 13, 2009, at 19:25:40

In reply to Re: Thanx Phillipa. NO thanx to all other ladies :, posted by manic 666 on July 13, 2009, at 14:31:45

Manic is the first part of your comment directed to me???? Love Phillipa

 

great post Dinah

Posted by olivepit on July 13, 2009, at 23:15:55

In reply to Re: Need help Ladies (Guys?)..re dating website,,, » Jay_Bravest_Face, posted by Dinah on July 13, 2009, at 12:11:05

> I think people are at their most attractive when they're relaxed and doing something they enjoy. Very few computer cams take flattering pictures.
>
> Do you have any snapshots of you when you are relaxing with your family, or looking at your dad? Where you're smiling and relaxed? If I were you, I'd scan one of those in and isolate your face.
>
> The pictures I've got of my husband that I most love are when he's with my son. Even if I crop only his face, there is a warmth about him that appeals.
>
> There's nothing wrong with the basic ingredients, Jay. But presentation is everything. If this is something that you take seriously, it would pay off to invest some of your time in coming up with a photo that shows off your best features.


I 100% agree with Dinah, Try getting a relaxed non-webcam photo while you are doing something you enjoy, maybe outdoors. I tried online dating once and to be honest, I deleted all guys who used a webcam, I dont know why but there is something about the way a webcam picture comes accross that I don't like. Go more for a more natural photo.

 

Re: Thanx Phillipa. NO thanx to all other ladies :

Posted by manic 666 on July 14, 2009, at 3:41:21

In reply to Re: Thanx Phillipa. NO thanx to all other ladies :, posted by manic 666 on July 13, 2009, at 14:31:45

ok enough of the fooling around, let me tell you something jay, i prefer womens company to men i find them warm a open , if you can make a woman laugh your halfway there , complements are always loved,my wife knows me well ,i can talk to any lady , im not really hansom ,my wife says im ruggedly hansome,in your car always have mood setting music even if its not your preference , it just difuses the situation,if you like her tell her , if you dont still give hear a good time then let her down slow. why did you laugh at thai women ,i have buddies with gorgess thia wifes an are loved to the max,the superstore is a great place to met ladies , when your shopping ask about a product as if you dont no, she make react to you, look my friend dont try to hard it puts them off be yourself an chill, there is a woman out there for you. i have probably had her first but you will have to put up with that.?????????

 

Re: great post Dinah » Dinah » olivepit

Posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on July 14, 2009, at 10:35:11

In reply to great post Dinah, posted by olivepit on July 13, 2009, at 23:15:55

Good advice, thankyou. Instead, I used my digital camera, on a timer, and took some pics at reall different angles. The one I chose I thought was really great, as it perfectly showd the outline of my jaw, face and forehead, and my smile really comes right through. Thanks for the idea :)

Jay

 

Re: Manic and Beauty... » manic 666

Posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on July 14, 2009, at 10:42:35

In reply to Re: Thanx Phillipa. NO thanx to all other ladies :, posted by manic 666 on July 13, 2009, at 14:31:45

> now then jay a little advice from the master, if the lady is a doll ,tell her she is , say you could bathe in her beauty,caress her like a flower,an every night tell you dream of her and she is in you mind always. but if she is a dog?shag her an go for a burger???????????????????

Well Manic...I don't quite operate that way. Remember, beauty is only skin deep. I don't exactly buy what conventional soceity calls "beauty" anyways. Beauty is mad up of thousands of tiny characteristics. It is complicated, and that is why I don't believe in this 'love at first site' crap. True love can withstand almost anything. Ever wonder why there are so many divorces out there?

Jay

 

Re: Need help Ladies (Guys?)..re dating website,,, » Jay_Bravest_Face

Posted by Poet on July 14, 2009, at 11:09:02

In reply to Need help Ladies (Guys?)..re dating website,,,, posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on July 11, 2009, at 13:09:29

Hi Jay,

Why if I weren't married and ten years younger or looked like a Cougar...

I met my husband in the olden days through a newspaper ad. The first thing I notice on people are their teeth and his are terrible despite years of braces. They are still terrible, but I love him anyway.

Good luck.

Poet

 

Re: Manic and Beauty...

Posted by manic 666 on July 14, 2009, at 12:42:37

In reply to Re: Manic and Beauty... » manic 666, posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on July 14, 2009, at 10:42:35

Well Manic...I don't quite operate that way. Remember, beauty is only skin deep. I don't exactly buy what conventional soceity calls "beauty" anyways. Beauty is mad up of thousands of tiny characteristics. It is complicated, and that is why I don't believe in this 'love at first site' crap. True love can withstand almost anything. Ever wonder why there are so many divorces out there,so

love at first sight crap??????????? i loved my wife at first sight an she me, an i bet a lot of babblers were the same,so dont close your mind to that idea,you are asking for advice not me ,but you already have rules , there is no rules in love my freind,you can be the biggest bastard on earth an your wife will still love you .or gentle an loveing an give her anything, an she runs off with the first guy she meets,no expect the unxpected an you will be ok ,you go on about your best side in a photo , what you gonna do if you met a lady , walk sideways on your best side on a date. there is someone for you but it takes chemistry, not looks, values , atitudes,or dress sence, its mutual attraction and its out there so stop asking an get looking

 

Re: Need help Ladies (Guys?)..re dating website,,, » Poet

Posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on July 14, 2009, at 12:51:08

In reply to Re: Need help Ladies (Guys?)..re dating website,,, » Jay_Bravest_Face, posted by Poet on July 14, 2009, at 11:09:02

> Hi Jay,
>
> Why if I weren't married and ten years younger or looked like a Cougar...
>
> I met my husband in the olden days through a newspaper ad. The first thing I notice on people are their teeth and his are terrible despite years of braces. They are still terrible, but I love him anyway.
>
> Good luck.
>
> Poet

Ahhhhh poet...that is REAL love...loving somebody despite so-called physical flaws. I am VERY happy for you.

Jay:-}

 

Been wonderin' what TexasChic thinks?;-)

Posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on July 14, 2009, at 12:56:05

In reply to Need help Ladies (Guys?)..re dating website,,,, posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on July 11, 2009, at 13:09:29

Ohhh I am terrible. Putting her on the hot seat...she'll likely slap me very hard...heh. She will give a whole new meaning to "Brutal" honesty...hehee. I am ready for my torture....:)

Jay

 

Re: Been wonderin' what TexasChic thinks?;-) » Jay_Bravest_Face

Posted by Phillipa on July 14, 2009, at 20:21:45

In reply to Been wonderin' what TexasChic thinks?;-), posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on July 14, 2009, at 12:56:05

Jay I said it once before you two are made to be together. I do mean that. It's my observations from many previous threads in the past. Seems you two just seem to click. Love Phillipa see lots of answers today!!!!!

 

Re: Been wonderin' what TexasChic thinks?;-)

Posted by TexasChic on July 14, 2009, at 20:54:36

In reply to Been wonderin' what TexasChic thinks?;-), posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on July 14, 2009, at 12:56:05

> Ohhh I am terrible. Putting her on the hot seat...she'll likely slap me very hard...heh. She will give a whole new meaning to "Brutal" honesty...hehee. I am ready for my torture....:)
>
> Jay

I would never do that! Actually, I refrained from posting because I am SO not the person to ask about dating advice! I'm a total introvert and never date! As for your pic, I thought you looked very cute and sweet. But as others have said, a bit of a smile might help. Keep in mind girls on these dating sites are already intimidated by the fact that you're an unknown man on the internet. You hear so many horror stories about stuff like that. So they're looking at your pic thinking, "Okay, does this complete stranger look like a nice guy?" It may not be reasonable to think this way, but I guarantee that's what they're thinking. And psychologically, someone not smiling = someone not nice.

So that's my not so expert advice - since you called me out!!! :-)

I hope you have good luck with this. Maybe someday I'll have enough guts to put myself out there like that. For the time being, you're way ahead of me in that respect!

-T

 

LOL, how bout this...

Posted by muffled on July 15, 2009, at 16:56:40

In reply to Re: Been wonderin' what TexasChic thinks?;-), posted by TexasChic on July 14, 2009, at 20:54:36

just passing thru...
I am old LOL, but I think you'd look HOT if you grew a ponytail.
I'm serious.
Good luck.
M

 

JAY - here's my 20 cents worth!!

Posted by Kath on July 16, 2009, at 10:36:39

In reply to Re: great post Dinah » Dinah » olivepit, posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on July 14, 2009, at 10:35:11

Hi Jay - just got around to reading this thread now!!

I like the photo. I am not a show-your-teeth-smiler! You say you have a new photo. Interested in showing it to us?

I will repeat (because I care enough about you to have you ticked off at me!!) my usual thing....

If you put yourself into situations where you are really meeting & interacting with IRL women, especially doing something/learning about something (etc) that you enjoy (& they obviously enjoy it also, or they wouldn't be there) no photos will be necessary to try to capture the essence of YOU. Women will see YOU....the real you, with the sparkle of enjoyment in your eyes - they'll pick up on all that stuff that only comes through being with a person IRL. They'll pick up on your gentle, kind, fun, sensitive qualities. There are probably lots of other qualities that you have that I don't know about, because I haven't been around you in person.

My daughter was married before. Unfortunately her WONDERFUL husband passed away. I want to tell you that he weighed way over 350 pounds. He blew me away.....I could totally understand how she fell for him. And so did others! He was a DJ & had various 'Cougars' VERY interested in him. If I compare a photo of his face to the IRL person, there's just no comparison at all! He was just great & could say something & you wouldn't know he was joking & then this very little gleam would appear & the smallest of smiles, slowly growing bigger & you'd realize it was something REALLY funny he'd said & end up laughing like heck. Or if you were telling him something, you'd have his total attention & interest glowing from him. THOSE type of things only happen IRL / in person.

It's one thing to see a photo (even a great photo) & read about a person. It's totally another to belong to the same club; play the same sport; be learning at the same course etc & be able to actually get to know the person. People sometimes just end up 'clicking' - being drawn to each other - even not necessarily romantically initially.

I know you didn't ask for this. You asked for our opinion about your photo. I find it so frustrating to hear about online dating sites because I think you are limiting your chances to get what you want. Maybe you are also pursuing IRL avenues of meeting women. If so, I'd love to hear about how that goes. JAYYYYYYY - remember the time in the Chapters store a long time ago that you told us about???? See - she was interested in talking with you.

Oh, Oh, Oh - I really want to be pushy with you!!! Puleeeeez consider putting yourself out there IRL. IMO you're not being fair to yourself or to others if you limit yourself to online attempts to meet women. If you feel a real aversion to this thought, maybe some counselling or therapy might help you.

How scarey can it be though? To join some groups you might enjoy? You'd be meeting people IRL...granted, the first night there might be a bit uncomfortable, but I would think meeting someone from an online dating group the first time would be pretty intimidating.

I've mentioned this before & I'd really like to know what you think of it, if you feel comfortable telling me. Sorry to pester. If I didn't care about you, I wouldn't bother.

xoxo Kath


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