Psycho-Babble Social Thread 899206

Shown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

Both my dates bailed out on today

Posted by Deneb on June 3, 2009, at 12:14:02

I had two dates planned for today. The first one found out he had overtime at work so couldn't make it. He wants to reschedule.

The second one just told me he has self image problems and is too afraid to meet me. He is good looking, I never would have thought he had self image problems.

Aw man. Am I really that intimidating? I'm not one of those out of your league women. I am just a normal plain Jane type who is down to earth.

 

Re: Both my dates bailed out on today

Posted by Deneb on June 3, 2009, at 15:30:26

In reply to Both my dates bailed out on today, posted by Deneb on June 3, 2009, at 12:14:02

I coaxed outdoorsy guy to go out with me. He decided he could handle a walk. We walked/sat for about 40 mins.

Why is it so hard to find a confident, positive good looking guy who isn't insecure and negative??

I think he is very good looking. He is kind of short and I am guessing a lot of women have rejected him because of that. Very quiet, is humourous, but opinionated and just negative. Why why why are so many people negative? I ask, do you like living here? His answer? No I hate living here. I ask, do you have any friends? No, I don't have friends, all my friends want to do is go out and drink. I can tell he is not an easy going guy. I was really nice I hope. I even gave him a small hug, but I made sure to walk back to the starting point really quickly. I think maybe he is a nice guy, but he seems to like being alone more and is way too insecure. Being scared of rejection to the point of not even meeting people is not very attractive.

Am I being too hard on these guys or what? I am going by gut feelings. Should I give this guy another chance? I hope he doesn't like me.

Where are the normal guys? Have they all been taken?

 

Re: Both my dates bailed out on today » Deneb

Posted by SLS on June 3, 2009, at 16:30:25

In reply to Re: Both my dates bailed out on today, posted by Deneb on June 3, 2009, at 15:30:26

> Where are the normal guys? Have they all been taken?

No, dear, we have not been.


- Scott

 

Re: Both my dates bailed out on today

Posted by Deneb on June 3, 2009, at 17:00:20

In reply to Re: Both my dates bailed out on today » Deneb, posted by SLS on June 3, 2009, at 16:30:25

> > Where are the normal guys? Have they all been taken?
>
> No, dear, we have not been.
>
>
> - Scott

You seem nice Scott. Where do you live? LOL

 

Re: Both my dates bailed out on today » Deneb

Posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on June 3, 2009, at 18:02:47

In reply to Re: Both my dates bailed out on today, posted by Deneb on June 3, 2009, at 15:30:26

> I coaxed outdoorsy guy to go out with me. He decided he could handle a walk. We walked/sat for about 40 mins.
>
> Why is it so hard to find a confident, positive good looking guy who isn't insecure and negative??
>
> I think he is very good looking. He is kind of short and I am guessing a lot of women have rejected him because of that. Very quiet, is humourous, but opinionated and just negative. Why why why are so many people negative? I ask, do you like living here? His answer? No I hate living here. I ask, do you have any friends? No, I don't have friends, all my friends want to do is go out and drink. I can tell he is not an easy going guy. I was really nice I hope. I even gave him a small hug, but I made sure to walk back to the starting point really quickly. I think maybe he is a nice guy, but he seems to like being alone more and is way too insecure. Being scared of rejection to the point of not even meeting people is not very attractive.
>
> Am I being too hard on these guys or what? I am going by gut feelings. Should I give this guy another chance? I hope he doesn't like me.
>
> Where are the normal guys? Have they all been taken?

Deneb:

I am sorry you are having such a hard time. I still remember being back your age and having the same problems with women, and I STILL have problems too!..lol. But, some healing to a bit of my mental health, and some aging have given me that "I'm old enough not to care to much...about what you think of me.." attitude. Somehow, I think dating is like playing the lottery. As one of my fave songs goes.."I believe there is a ghost of a chance, to find someone to love, and make it last..." I lost a partner and child to tragedy...and I thought there was NO way I could ever get through it all...no reason to go on. 14 or so years latter, yes it has been hell at times, but I am "dating" once again. I was...about 26 back then...and I now turn 40 this year. I am far from where I want to be, but stumble on the good part of the trail once in awhile.

Jay

 

Re: Both my dates bailed out on today » Deneb

Posted by Kath on June 3, 2009, at 21:31:59

In reply to Re: Both my dates bailed out on today, posted by Deneb on June 3, 2009, at 15:30:26

> Am I being too hard on these guys or what?

NO - you're trying to meet someone who feels right for you. Ditto to everything I said in above thread.

> I am going by gut feelings. Should I give this guy another chance?

NO - you don't like negative people & you found him negative. Tell me one reason you should give him another "chance"???

>I hope he doesn't like me.

It doesn't matter if he likes you or not. It sounds like you don't really like him. Also - does he speak Cantonese? Sounds like that's pretty important to you, so why would you waste your time getting to know someone who doesn't know C. ?? Unless you just want to make some male 'friends'. I wonder how many guys are interested in 'just being friends'?? Maybe some of our guys can give you some input about their thoughts on that.

Even if he did like you - it isn't as if you have known each other long enough for him to get attached to you. Anyway - this is about YOU - not about the guys. I'm not saying be mean. I'm just saying be careful about taking care of YOU.

For goodness sake - I wish you could find somewhere to simply meet people (((you))) What about a Chinese cultural centre???? Does the university have a Chinese club????? I would think there'd be SOMEthing!!! OR - hey - get this - maybe YOU could START a Chinese club??

> Where are the normal guys? Have they all been taken?

Maybe some of them are involved in doing things that interest them??? Maybe some of them are in church groups, badminton teams, photography clubs, square-dancing groups, Chinese cultural clubs, ecology groups, you name it Deneb!!!
:-)))

And I bet you anything that they have not all been taken!!!

love & hugs, Kath

(PS - if you & Jay want to gang up on me for going on & on at you both about how to meet someone, feel free - I wish you both only happiness)

xoxo Kath (scuse my abruptness - I have only your very bestest interests in mind)

 

Re: Both my dates bailed out on today » Jay_Bravest_Face

Posted by Kath on June 3, 2009, at 21:34:52

In reply to Re: Both my dates bailed out on today » Deneb, posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on June 3, 2009, at 18:02:47

Both Scott & Jay are great examples of really nice guys - I don't know if Jay is "taken" yet LOL but there are nice guys around...other nice guys here also.

K

 

Re: Both my dates bailed out on today » Kath

Posted by Phillipa on June 3, 2009, at 23:55:16

In reply to Re: Both my dates bailed out on today » Jay_Bravest_Face, posted by Kath on June 3, 2009, at 21:34:52

Jay and Scott are both available. But do they speak Cantonese? Phillipa

 

Re: Both my dates bailed out on today

Posted by Tabitha on June 4, 2009, at 0:26:02

In reply to Re: Both my dates bailed out on today, posted by Deneb on June 3, 2009, at 15:30:26

You paint a really clear picture of him. I'll bet you're a good judge of people when you trust yourself.

I guess there's a chance he might be less negative when he's less nervous, but then again, he might be the same. Just wait and see if he even follows up, and trust your instincts when the time comes.

Anyway it sounds like you're getting a lot of response to your profile. Good for you!


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