Psycho-Babble Social Thread 898722

Shown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

Desire for Love...so powerful...ya I know cliche??

Posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on June 1, 2009, at 0:57:18

It gnaws in the deepest corners of my heart. I have never realized how *intensely* lonely I am, pertaining to romantic love . I feel close to being the strongest and able to love in my life these days. I've met a few woman who, I really start to wonder, why I didn't ask them to be a part of my life and love? It is always when I am laying in bed, at 1 am, wanting to just throw my arms around, hold so tight..kiss their soul. I know my time has come, after many years of getting through such a horrific loss, and now helping others in my family, as my cousin and his wife just had a baby boy born with Down's. I've worked in that field for almost 20 years, so I am going to get and give all of my support. My young nephew just found out his and his girlfriend's baby, in it's fourth month, has developed some complications and some risky surgery may have to happen.

I was at the casino in Niagara Falls a few nights ago. I was lounging at the bar with a couple of guy friends, and a couple of very elegantly dressed woman came and brought chairs to the bar right next to me. The one gal went to go somewhere for a few minutes, and here is 'trembling in my boots' me sitting beside this glamorous and very polite woman. I have a pair of nice jeans on, and a nice shirt...but not quite 'up there. Then out of nowhere, she asks me about the wine I am drinking. So I strike up further conversation, but her jewelry and clothes put her in a wealthy league I knew I could never match. That really ticked me off, lol, (I mean MY lack of expensive stuff..heh), as she moved closer to me and started asking and talking a bit more about wine. Damn, because my knowledge on the topic is limited. No wedding or engagement rings. She asks me my suggestion for another glass of wine. I fumble, but order her an expensive glass. We talked about jobs, and tells me she is an associate in a law firm. Her friend now returns to the bar, introduces me, and now one of the bartender and another woman joined them, and I just *knew* I couldn't play in her "league". The ladies then ordered an 50 dollar pitcher of wine, and I just had to *runnnnn*...fast. She gave me her business card, a polite "goodbye", and I was gone. I could never pretend to be something just so I could try to "get the girl". But, I am JUST reeling!! This is just TOO much!

But, these "little things" seem to happen so much to me lately. Maybe it's my getting out and socializing...(no....really???...heh..) I told everyone on here about my Montreal 'fling'.(not really proud of it) Why can't I just make one of these things "the full real deal"!..lol"? I've slimmed up a bit, and got some minor cosmetic treatment for my receding hairline. But SOMETHING is in the air! It is still the internal psyche and heart that are the main motivators for me out of it all.

So, Desire is still there, and both sexy and loving stuff. I am also sorry, as many have deep reaching needs and problems....I don't mean to ignore people.

Jay

 

The full real deal

Posted by Sigismund on June 1, 2009, at 3:40:16

In reply to Desire for Love...so powerful...ya I know cliche??, posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on June 1, 2009, at 0:57:18

What is it?

Possession?

I dunno.

Maybe there are people who can make things work?

Maybe those jokers who wrote the DSMIV can?

 

Re: Desire for Love...so powerful...ya I know cliche?? Jay_Bravest_Face

Posted by Larry Hoover on June 1, 2009, at 6:53:51

In reply to Desire for Love...so powerful...ya I know cliche??, posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on June 1, 2009, at 0:57:18

Jay, the woman approached you, engaged you in conversation, proffered her business card. Whatever "image" you may have been presenting was certainly already taken into account.

I honestly believe you overthink these situations. If you're liking how things are going, do more of it. Stop worrying so much about how you appear. Ya know?

Lar

 

Re: Desire for Love...so powerful...ya I know cliche??

Posted by manic666 on June 1, 2009, at 10:06:18

In reply to Re: Desire for Love...so powerful...ya I know cliche?? Jay_Bravest_Face, posted by Larry Hoover on June 1, 2009, at 6:53:51

the lady was into you , or she wouldnt give you her card , she would have given you a slap.whats with this cosmetic hair sh*t , they wont like that if your thinning on the old brain cover . cut your hair to suit it . most guys have shaved heads even when a full head of hair,dont go down the transplant road . my friend.

 

Re: Desire for Love...so powerful...ya I know cliche??

Posted by Phillipa on June 1, 2009, at 11:03:21

In reply to Re: Desire for Love...so powerful...ya I know cliche??, posted by manic666 on June 1, 2009, at 10:06:18

Jay it's getting closer to happening soon . Love Phillipa

 

Re: Desire for Love...so powerful...ya I know cliche??

Posted by Dinah on June 1, 2009, at 11:47:27

In reply to Desire for Love...so powerful...ya I know cliche??, posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on June 1, 2009, at 0:57:18

What is it you're looking for? Are you fishing in the right waters? If materialism is something you dislike, then don't order expensive wine for a woman. Order within your budget, and if she objects, isn't she showing you that she's not the right woman for you?

Lawyers and other professionals, even elegant ones, can be very nice people. I am frequently with people who have more money than I do, and who are better dressed and groomed than I am. I know what it's like to feel inferior socially. But that's only true of groups of people. Individuals are individuals. She might be someone who is looking for a guy just like you. Or she might not be. But either way, you aren't going to be able to tell just by social class.

Admittedly my experience in dating is small. But I do have friends who've talked to me. It's my experience that women give more of a chance to a guy who is being himself and is comfortable. Shy and embarrassed is fine, as long as it's genuine. If you're a beer person, order beer.

And if what you're looking for is a sensitive woman who cares about the social issues that you care about and is open to a long term relationship, where do those women congregate? If you're religious, you could find a church with an active singles ministry. If you aren't, there are always charities, or political meetings. Very young women might like danger and excitement in a man. But mature sensible women who is looking for a long term relationship are probably looking for a decent guy who listens to them, has a good sense of humor, is genuine, and has decent values that match their own.

Don't worry about expensive drinks, expensive cologne, or your hairline. The kind of woman who cares a lot about that is probably not the sort who will fill the space you describe.

 

Re: The full real deal Sigismund

Posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on June 1, 2009, at 15:00:39

In reply to The full real deal, posted by Sigismund on June 1, 2009, at 3:40:16

> What is it?
>
> Possession?
>
> I dunno.
>
> Maybe there are people who can make things work?
>
> Maybe those jokers who wrote the DSMIV can?
>

Ahhhaaa...I am glad you caught that phrase. It's like the "Super-sized" desire. Tom Cochrane wrote that "the heart is a hunter...the heart is a friend. Searching in the shadows...searching 'till the end" (Okay, not jaw-dropping, but hey...). Or how about.."I believe there's a ghost of a chance we can find someone to love...and make it last". It's much, much more complicated then that, but I think I am "getting it" a little bit more. Just waiting for John Cleese to appear any moment..:-)

Jay

 

Re: Desire for Love...so powerful...ya I know cliche?? Larry Hoover

Posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on June 1, 2009, at 16:32:09

In reply to Re: Desire for Love...so powerful...ya I know cliche?? Jay_Bravest_Face, posted by Larry Hoover on June 1, 2009, at 6:53:51

> Jay, the woman approached you, engaged you in conversation, proffered her business card. Whatever "image" you may have been presenting was certainly already taken into account.
>
> I honestly believe you overthink these situations. If you're liking how things are going, do more of it. Stop worrying so much about how you appear. Ya know?
>
> Lar

Hey thanks for the thoughts bud. As you guessed, I tend to lack rational reason, sometimes, when it comes to these things. I really have to be careful I don't fly into mania, either. I know, I flog the dead horse, but I guess what I am saying is that I am getting somewhere...even if there are no "end results" that I wish to be. I don't want to jinx myself and be too optimistic. But, wow, it is almost exhilarating to be around people, and feel good, and all that.

Thanks kindly...
Jay

 

Re: Desire for Love...so powerful...ya I know cliche?? manic666

Posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on June 1, 2009, at 16:48:12

In reply to Re: Desire for Love...so powerful...ya I know cliche??, posted by manic666 on June 1, 2009, at 10:06:18

> the lady was into you , or she wouldnt give you her card , she would have given you a slap.whats with this cosmetic hair sh*t , they wont like that if your thinning on the old brain cover . cut your hair to suit it . most guys have shaved heads even when a full head of hair,dont go down the transplant road . my friend.

Hey, thanks for your thoughts and kindness. I know this a silly thinG for me to go on about, when so many on here are just trying to find a reason to get up, and some kind of happiness. And I just LOVE your 'telling it like it is' with that flash of Brit irony.:) Your posts make me often laugh and feel pretty good bud. With the hair thing, I lost a fair bit back in highschool, and was teased and all about it. But hey, life goes on, eh!? So I found this stuff, that looks good on me as it's not fake, or a hair transplant, or even a 'wig' or hairpiece. And feeling good, overall, is nice when you are coming out of deep depression. I know...the looks shouldn't matter...be yourself and all..but I am just doing some fine tuning..lol.

Thanks bud...Jay

 

Re: Desire for Love...so powerful...ya I know cliche?? Phillipa

Posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on June 1, 2009, at 16:50:23

In reply to Re: Desire for Love...so powerful...ya I know cliche??, posted by Phillipa on June 1, 2009, at 11:03:21

> Jay it's getting closer to happening soon . Love Phillipa

Ya, I do hope (and think moreso) that the good catches up.

Jay :)

 

Re: Desire for Love...so powerful...ya I know cliche?? Dinah

Posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on June 1, 2009, at 16:59:43

In reply to Re: Desire for Love...so powerful...ya I know cliche??, posted by Dinah on June 1, 2009, at 11:47:27

> What is it you're looking for? Are you fishing in the right waters? If materialism is something you dislike, then don't order expensive wine for a woman. Order within your budget, and if she objects, isn't she showing you that she's not the right woman for you?
>
> Lawyers and other professionals, even elegant ones, can be very nice people. I am frequently with people who have more money than I do, and who are better dressed and groomed than I am. I know what it's like to feel inferior socially. But that's only true of groups of people. Individuals are individuals. She might be someone who is looking for a guy just like you. Or she might not be. But either way, you aren't going to be able to tell just by social class.
>
> Admittedly my experience in dating is small. But I do have friends who've talked to me. It's my experience that women give more of a chance to a guy who is being himself and is comfortable. Shy and embarrassed is fine, as long as it's genuine. If you're a beer person, order beer.
>
> And if what you're looking for is a sensitive woman who cares about the social issues that you care about and is open to a long term relationship, where do those women congregate? If you're religious, you could find a church with an active singles ministry. If you aren't, there are always charities, or political meetings. Very young women might like danger and excitement in a man. But mature sensible women who is looking for a long term relationship are probably looking for a decent guy who listens to them, has a good sense of humor, is genuine, and has decent values that match their own.
>
> Don't worry about expensive drinks, expensive cologne, or your hairline. The kind of woman who cares a lot about that is probably not the sort who will fill the space you describe.

Hi Dinah:

Thanks kindly for the post. No, I honestly for once, am not really confused about what I am looking for. I am back, "in the land of the living", just taking in the experiences, if that makes sense. I am finally swimming with other fish, and may find a catch I want to keep. I am in a bit of 'awe' I guess.

Thanks kindly...
Jay :)

 

Re: Desire for Love...so powerful...ya I know cliche??

Posted by desolationrower on June 1, 2009, at 23:14:58

In reply to Re: Desire for Love...so powerful...ya I know cliche?? Larry Hoover, posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on June 1, 2009, at 16:32:09

associates work a lot and make lots of money. which means they don't have a lot of time to read or get really into other interests. so they often want to know people who are interesting more than they want to know people with money. status comes in various forms, and the human brain doesn't directly percieve money, its mediated through status.

-d/r


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