Psycho-Babble Social Thread 897669

Shown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.


In the hospital

Posted by OneGarden on May 25, 2009, at 20:57:03

I've been in the hospital for 19 days out of the last month. I've had some very life-altering losses recently. It was a nice hospital. But a problem developed while I was in there. I met a patient who was really out of it at first until they gave her prozac. The patient was herself a psychiatrist, but her life had gone downhill the last seven years, and apparently she'd had lots of trauma in her life. She had a really sad story, but something about her raised red flags for me. My intuition is very good. And staff members were hinting to me that she was trouble, and I had personally seen how destructive and devious she could be. Not that this really matters but she had scars up and down her arms from either suicide attempts or cutting. I saw her try to cut herself one time. She really glommed onto me, and stuck with me like glue. She always said how much she liked me. I've always had issues with not having enough of my own boundaries, and I felt my boundaries were really being tested. I couldn't find the strength to tell her I needed more space. I exchanged contact info with her before I left, and I've received many phone calls from her. She's still in the psych unit as far as I know. I haven't returned her phone calls. In each phone call she says how worried she is about me, and wants to know I'm okay. But I think she's just trying to pull me in, and I want to get away from her. I feel guilty about not calling her back. I don't think she has any friends. I'm torn whether I should be brave and tolerant and be friends with her, or be cautious and self-protective and not call her back. It's really been weighing on my mind. I spoke to a friend who has a lot of psychology background, and she said that the patient sounds like she has borderline features. I know that's a loose diagnosis, but in her case, it might be true.


Re: In the hospital OneGarden

Posted by obsidian on May 25, 2009, at 21:20:45

In reply to In the hospital, posted by OneGarden on May 25, 2009, at 20:57:03

I would think about where (whatever you choose to do)this might lead.
If you do not want to continue a relationship with her, then how will you proceed? continue to ignore the calls or have a conversation about how you want to leave the hospital experience behind you, although you wish her well.
If you continue a relationship with this woman how do you imagine it might be?
good luck,


Re: In the hospital OneGarden

Posted by gobbledygook on May 25, 2009, at 22:09:40

In reply to In the hospital, posted by OneGarden on May 25, 2009, at 20:57:03

I agree with Sid that you should really think it though either way.

Sounds like you've gone through a lot, Onegarden. Give yourself
permission to protect yourself first when you're vulnerable. It's
more than okay. It is necessary to allow yourself to heal without
taking on further pain from others. It feels like you're turning your
back on someone who is reaching out to you for help, but you have
to help yourself first in order to help anyone else. Take care.

Gobbledygook -


Re: In the hospital

Posted by Phillipa on May 26, 2009, at 12:33:01

In reply to Re: In the hospital OneGarden, posted by gobbledygook on May 25, 2009, at 22:09:40

I'd listen to the hints the nurses gave you. Due to confidentiality they were brave to even disclose this much to you. In lew of that I'd heed their advise. I know it seems mean but take care of you or this person could really pull you back down. Borderline may be a loose term but I'd consider it strongly. Just me. Phillipa ps I'm sorry you were in the hospital but you're well now?


Re: In the hospital...true story

Posted by BirdSong on May 27, 2009, at 0:06:46

In reply to Re: In the hospital OneGarden, posted by gobbledygook on May 25, 2009, at 22:09:40

True story....
Last time I was in the hospital, I was in for three weeks. Since I was suicidal, I was in a room with a room-mate and 5-10 minute bedchecks. Anyway, a new room-mate came in the 2nd week of my stay and we were similar in age, had similar interests, etc. and became "hospital friends."

We both got out around the same time. She started calling me and I responded thinking she was just a new friend, plus I have poor boundaries. A couple weeks later, I let her move in with me because she was "thrown out of her house" and I had a house with extra bedrooms. She was not employed, but I worked.

A week later, she robbed me blind when I was at work.

Call me stupid...but I thought I was being a nice person. And if I had been 100% well and not still recovering, I might have been less vulnerable.

Be very careful and take care of yourself.
You are still recovering and need to focus on your healing.
Take care of yourself.


Re: In the hospital OneGarden

Posted by Kath on May 28, 2009, at 16:29:00

In reply to In the hospital, posted by OneGarden on May 25, 2009, at 20:57:03

so sorry you have had so much to go through.

If you feel the need to not 'hurt' her, you might send a nice card to her at the hospital saying whatever you want & including that you haven't the energy for friends & need to concentrate on your healing or whatever.

I guess a card letting her know that you care about her, that you're okay & not to worry when she doesn't hear from you.

luv, Kath

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