Psycho-Babble Social Thread 895622

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Re: My Mom says my trip to SF is a big mistake

Posted by Tabitha on May 14, 2009, at 1:02:57

In reply to My Mom says my trip to SF is a big mistake, posted by Deneb on May 13, 2009, at 19:55:56

I'm sorry she can't be supportive. Going on a trip alone is really brave!

 

SLS does not say my trip to SF is a big mistake Deneb

Posted by SLS on May 14, 2009, at 7:15:36

In reply to Re: My Mom says my trip to SF is a big mistake, posted by Deneb on May 13, 2009, at 21:10:26

Hi Deneb.

> > Parents are allowed to make mistakes, too.

> I don't consider this trip to be a mistake at all.

Neither do I. I don't think I worded my last post very well.

While I do challenge you gently every now and then, it is to help you to become even more sure of what is right for you. I think your replies to certain questions have made the rest of us believe very strongly that you deliberated this trip very carefully, and that you have prepared for it extremely well, both logistically and emotionally.

I agree with the others that it is very likely that you will have fun in SF and come back with a wealth of good memories and a sense of empowerment.


- Scott

 

Maybe Jay can give you a few tips

Posted by Bobby on May 14, 2009, at 8:15:30

In reply to Re: My Mom says my trip to SF is a big mistake Deneb, posted by Bobby on May 13, 2009, at 23:31:24

:)

 

Howzitgoing Deneb?

Posted by Kath on May 14, 2009, at 12:46:43

In reply to Maybe Jay can give you a few tips, posted by Bobby on May 14, 2009, at 8:15:30

>My Mom told me I wasn't successful today. She said I am not successful in life because I don't have a career or family. She said my aunt is not successful either because even though she has money, she does not have a husband.

~ ~ ~Deneb, I'm sorry your Mom says things like that to you. It's one thing to think them, but it's another to say them.

"I hate how my Mom makes me feel bad about stuff"

~ ~ ~ I've been told by various therapists, etc, that nobody can Make us feel a certain way. They can say things that result in us feeling a certain way. My husband had a friend who would say things that resulted in my H feeling badly. I encouraged him that when --- said something, "Take it as INFORMATION" only!
I think it would be a wonderful 'exercise' for you to try to develop a different way of 'hearing' your Mom.

For example:

Mom: "Deneb, you're not successful in your life because you aren't married."

Deneb: "Oh" (thinks 'hmm - my Mom THINKS I am not successful 'cuz I'm not married. Everyone has their own idea about things. I wish my Mom didn't think like that, but it's HER opinion & isn't necessarily true. I think I'll talk to my pdoc about it.') or something like that.

> and doesn't support me the way I need and want.

~ ~ ~ I'm sorry that she doesn't support you the way that you need & want, Deneb. It's hard when we don't get what we need from those we love.

>My Mom married when she was my age and had me when she was 29. She doesn't spend money on herself at all. I think she likes to see herself as a martyr.

~ ~ ~ It's too bad about the martyr thing. Who knows, maybe it's feeding her martyr-self viewing you as a failure! "Oh, yes. My daughter is such & such an age & isn't even married yet. Oh dear."

It's really about HER, in my opinion Deneb. And of course we want our parents to approve of us & of our actions. But SO many of us don't get that. I hope you can discuss all this with your pdoc.

I hope you have a lovely trip & LOTS of fun. And please know that there are lots of us who aren't there & I bet I'm not the only one who gets a nice smile on my face thinking of you making this major trip - having arranged it youself & going ahead with it! You Rock.

luv, Kath

 

I'm in SF!!

Posted by Deneb on May 14, 2009, at 18:02:47

In reply to Howzitgoing Deneb?, posted by Kath on May 14, 2009, at 12:46:43

Everything went without a hitch. My plan went perfectly. I am now at my hotel room relaxing a bit before going out to have fun. I am not anxious right now.

 

Re: I'm in SF!!

Posted by SLS on May 14, 2009, at 18:45:35

In reply to I'm in SF!!, posted by Deneb on May 14, 2009, at 18:02:47

> Everything went without a hitch. My plan went perfectly. I am now at my hotel room relaxing a bit before going out to have fun. I am not anxious right now.

Way cool.

:-)


- Scott

 

Re: I'm in SF!! Deneb

Posted by TexasChic on May 14, 2009, at 19:25:26

In reply to I'm in SF!!, posted by Deneb on May 14, 2009, at 18:02:47

Yay Deneb!!! I'm both proud and ridiculously envious of you at the same time! You are a brave, beautiful, amazing person! I know you don't like when I get gushy but its how I feel. You are someone I look up to, even though I'm way older than you are.

Enjoy doing whatever you want. I hope you have a fabulous time!!!

-T

 

Re: :-D (nm) Bobby

Posted by Tabitha on May 15, 2009, at 2:43:00

In reply to Maybe Jay can give you a few tips, posted by Bobby on May 14, 2009, at 8:15:30

 

Re: I'm in SF!! Deneb

Posted by Tabitha on May 15, 2009, at 2:43:51

In reply to I'm in SF!!, posted by Deneb on May 14, 2009, at 18:02:47

So happy to hear that. Have fun!

 

Yay; ditto to TC! Keep us posted Deneb

Posted by Kath on May 15, 2009, at 9:25:21

In reply to I'm in SF!!, posted by Deneb on May 14, 2009, at 18:02:47

when you feel like it.

I am so excited for you Deneb.

xoxo Kath

 

Re: Yay; ditto to TC! Keep us posted

Posted by no_rose_garden on May 15, 2009, at 21:41:36

In reply to Yay; ditto to TC! Keep us posted Deneb, posted by Kath on May 15, 2009, at 9:25:21

Yay!!! Thanks for letting us know :) Hope you're enjoying yourself!

 

I'm in SF, too

Posted by Poet on May 15, 2009, at 23:25:05

In reply to I'm in SF!!, posted by Deneb on May 14, 2009, at 18:02:47

My hotel has a view of the ocean, from what I can see in the dark that is. Can't wait until morning.

There's a Trader Joe's two blocks from my hotel and so I walked over and got a bottle of chardonnay and some falafel and tabuli and hummus for a late night dinner. Life is good.

Poet

 

Re: I'm in SF, too Poet

Posted by Kath on May 16, 2009, at 11:41:20

In reply to I'm in SF, too, posted by Poet on May 15, 2009, at 23:25:05

Lovely - thx for letting us know.

Keep us in details so we can enjoy vicariously

xoxo Kath

 

Re: I'm in SF, too

Posted by TexasChic on May 16, 2009, at 12:52:04

In reply to I'm in SF, too, posted by Poet on May 15, 2009, at 23:25:05

Wow! A view of the ocean! That sounds so cool! I hope you're having fun!

-T

 

Re: I'm in SF, too

Posted by Deneb on May 17, 2009, at 2:36:46

In reply to Re: I'm in SF, too, posted by TexasChic on May 16, 2009, at 12:52:04

It was a fun day. Dr. Bob is awesome, he looked at my pictures.

I am all tense from the social interaction though. My back aches, it does that when my muscles get all tense for too long because of anxiety. I can't seem to relax in social situations. Worse yet is I can't seem to concentrate on what the other person is saying, my mind is too busy thinking about the social situation.

I was extremely quiet as usual. I think it is a combination of my personality and social anxiety.

I wish I were a little bit more normal.


 

Saturday

Posted by Poet on May 17, 2009, at 10:51:02

In reply to Re: I'm in SF, too, posted by Deneb on May 17, 2009, at 2:36:46

We drove down Lombard Street, which is absolutely the most crooked street around. It amazes me that people live on it, between the curves and the tourists driving down it I can't figure out how they get out of their garages.

I went to Golden Gate Park with Deneb and we had tea at a Japanese tea garden. The park is huge we saw just a bit of it. Maybe we can get back there to see some more of it.

More later.

Poet

 

Re: I'm in SF, too Deneb

Posted by TexasChic on May 17, 2009, at 13:19:51

In reply to Re: I'm in SF, too, posted by Deneb on May 17, 2009, at 2:36:46

Normal is overated! Why be normal when you can be interesting?

I'm glad you're having a good time, I understand about the anxiety though. Try to relax for a while if you can.

-T

 

Re: Saturday Poet

Posted by TexasChic on May 17, 2009, at 13:21:00

In reply to Saturday, posted by Poet on May 17, 2009, at 10:51:02

Sounds like fun! I wish I was there!

-T

 

Really fun day

Posted by Deneb on May 17, 2009, at 21:49:56

In reply to Re: I'm in SF, too, posted by Deneb on May 17, 2009, at 2:36:46

Poet, Dr. Bob and I went to Alcatraz today. It was really fun. Dr. Bob is great. I even got a goodbye hug. :-)

Afterwards, I went to dinner with two Babblers and they corrupted me and I drank this a big glass of beer and got drunk. I don't get uninhibited when I drink, apparently. I just get really really quiet and sleepy. LOL

Everyone was trying to get me to drink alcohol in SF. It all started with Dr. Bob buying us champagne during dinner. Then today Dr. Bob offered me a taste of his beer and then later at dinner I drank a beer.

I love Dr. Bob. He is fun to be around. I luv you. lol I got to hug Dr. Bob, I am so happy.

I also got sunburned. I don't usually burn, but I guess I never stay out in the sun long enough. Dr. Bob noticed I was getting sunburned. I put on some of Poet's sunscreen, but I think it was too late. Oh well, I will get a tan.

It is nearly 8 pm now and I am really tried because of the beer. I think I have zero tolerance to alcohol lol.

I luv you Dr. Bob. It was so fun! ((((((((Dr. Bob))))))))

 

Ouchie, sunburn

Posted by Deneb on May 17, 2009, at 22:30:09

In reply to Really fun day, posted by Deneb on May 17, 2009, at 21:49:56

OK, I just took a shower and it was painful. The skin on my arms hurt. Ouchie. I have a sunburn. I didn't use any sunscreen before going out.

I don't often stay out in the sun long enough to get sunburned. It is an ouchie.

I don't have any experience with sunburns. What do I do to make the ouchie go away?

 

Re: Ouchie, sunburn

Posted by Tabitha on May 17, 2009, at 23:26:40

In reply to Ouchie, sunburn, posted by Deneb on May 17, 2009, at 22:30:09

Try some cool washcloths. Tomorrow see if you can buy some aloe vera gel someplace.

 

Re: Ouchie, sunburn

Posted by Deneb on May 17, 2009, at 23:33:27

In reply to Ouchie, sunburn, posted by Deneb on May 17, 2009, at 22:30:09

I'm going to Walgreens to find something for my sunburn. Aw man, this sucks. LOL Why did I think I will not burn? Everyone burns with enough sun exposure.

I think my face is a bit burned too, not as bad though because my foundation has SPF of 15.

OK, I will be back.

OK, I am back. I bought some pain relieving aloe vera gel and I slathered it on thick. It is helping a little.

I also bought some sunscreen. It is a little too late for it though. LOL

Oh well, next time I will be smart about it and put some on before I go outside for long periods of time.


 

Re: Really fun day

Posted by Poet on May 18, 2009, at 0:18:03

In reply to Really fun day, posted by Deneb on May 17, 2009, at 21:49:56

Alcatraz with Deneb and Bob was interesting. It must have been horrid for the prisoners to see land and be unable to get there. Not that I am advocating escape as it really was impossible to do that. We got soaked on the ferry, so I can say I did come in contact with ocean water.

Debeb, the aloe gel will help the burn. The sun was intense.

I hope you liked the beer a little bit, and don't worry if you didn't. It was fun to hang with you and Bob today and dinner tonight with other babblers was great.

Back home in the a.m.

Poet

 

Thx for sharing with us

Posted by Kath on May 18, 2009, at 21:00:16

In reply to Re: Really fun day, posted by Poet on May 18, 2009, at 0:18:03

I REALLY liked hearing about it.

Nice you got to do things together!!! That must have been great.

Sorry about your sunburn Deneb. Once I got sunburned feet (the tops) in Barbados. I could hardly walk as it hurt when my ankles bent. I've heard that cold tea bags on sunburn help.

Also vinegar!!! Once my Dad got a terrible burn, went to doctor, went to our small-town pharmacy to get prescription filled. Dad commented to the pharmacist (we all knew each other in the town) that the stuff smelled like vinegar. Pharmacist smiled at him brightly & said something like, "Yes - it DOES, doesn't it."

:-) Kath

PS - once again, thx for letting us hear about SF

 

Re: Thx for sharing with us

Posted by TexasChic on May 18, 2009, at 23:05:55

In reply to Thx for sharing with us, posted by Kath on May 18, 2009, at 21:00:16

I'm enjoying hearing about everything too! Sorry about the sunburn Deneb! Aloe helps, but nothing but time heals. Do what you can to keep cool though - cool baths, cool air conditioner, etc...

-T


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