Psycho-Babble Social Thread 837124

Shown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

To all: My respect for authority + self-esteem

Posted by 64Bowtie on June 29, 2008, at 9:13:32

There is much talk of self-esteem in every way you can imagine. What makes more sense to me is the occasional success story that includes bypassing self-esteem and tackling self-respect instead.

Early on I didn't fully grasp what they were talking about concerning respect. I learned that when I confuse obligations with respect, I can't see or understand it.

Oddly, when I replaced my fear of the unknown, with respect for the dangers of the unknown, the concept of respect took on a whole new nature for me. I started seeing that I was confusing my obligation to authority as my having respect for authority.

Now I seem to get into a lot less trouble. I really respect authority. I think things through before acting stupid. I sorta respect authority the same way I respect "18-wheelers" when I ride my bicycle.

Even recently I would look at myself in the mirror and still feel confused about self-respect. Now I see that any smidgen of disrespect I show to authority, or anybody for that matter, reflects back onto me as my lack of self-respect.

I have noticed people responding to me as if I have plenty of self-esteem. Because I am certain that self-esteem has no velcro stickiness w/o self-respect being there first, I continue to learn about, and work on, my own self-respect. My other-respect (respect for other people) seems, now, to be taking care of itself.

My respect for authority has had a "Rennaisance".

Rod

 

Re: To all: My respect for authority + self-esteem » 64Bowtie

Posted by Phillipa on June 29, 2008, at 12:29:30

In reply to To all: My respect for authority + self-esteem, posted by 64Bowtie on June 29, 2008, at 9:13:32

I'm probably very confused as I always do the right thing think of others first and it comes back and slaps me in the face something bad happens to me. My self-esteem is very low and I follow rules. So I guess I don't get it as usual. See that was a self-esteem response the as usual downs me. Love Phillipa

 

» Phillipa » respect for authority + self-esteem

Posted by 64Bowtie on June 30, 2008, at 1:27:28

In reply to Re: To all: My respect for authority + self-esteem » 64Bowtie, posted by Phillipa on June 29, 2008, at 12:29:30

(((Dear Phillipa))),

At no time do intend to harm or coerce... I do feel "Evocative" from time to time, as represented in my general threads...

I see a disciplined harnessing of obligations vs expectaions, after discovering our own self-respect, and before "nailing down" the "who we are" SELF (an unmistakeable image of Self), as being the shortest distance between where we are and where we really, really, really want to be, feeling wise; emotionally... Undisciplined obligations and expectations "is" an unmanageble life...

Some parent somewhere dropped some ball somehow...........

I takes a tenth of a second for the mind (brain) to resolve a new choice, permanently!!! I know we are not behaving like lab-subjects; much more complicated lives than that... Please follow my reasoning: if this is not a common enough situation, then why not??? The answer lies where we are operating on our obligation/expectation merry-go-round... Notice I am tacitly discussing the others in our lives: folks we are obligated to or we want obligated to us (by our expectations)... If BLAME would make a difference, this would be a much shorter discussion... But, alas, blame doesn't work!!!

Its our job, and duty to ourselves, to unscramble the calamatous mess that is our obligations and expectations... Did you ever wonder why monks and nuns choose that austier existence??? That's easier on their internal stress meter than tackling the family elephant-in-the-livingroom of multi-generational obligations and expectations...

Make no mistake, I know this is an awful job...

Rod

 

(((Phillipa))) : addenda for clarity

Posted by 64Bowtie on June 30, 2008, at 1:44:39

In reply to » Phillipa » respect for authority + self-esteem, posted by 64Bowtie on June 30, 2008, at 1:27:28

Corrections:

It takes a tenth of a second for the mind (brain) to resolve a new choice, permanently!!! Sounds easy, but we are not living the lives of lab-subjects... Our lives are much more complicated than that...

Please follow my reasoning: if this is not how permanent decisions seem to be made in our awareness, then why not??? The answer lies where we are operating on our obligation/expectation merry-go-round...

Notice I am tacitly discussing the others in our lives: folks we are obligated to, or we want obligated to us (by our expectations)... If we could BLAME them and BLAME would make a difference, this would be a much shorter discussion... But, alas, blame never works!!! Even in a world totally emersed in obligation/expectation, BLAME never really works!!!

Rod

 

Re: To all: My respect for authority + self-esteem » 64Bowtie

Posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on June 30, 2008, at 23:38:04

In reply to To all: My respect for authority + self-esteem, posted by 64Bowtie on June 29, 2008, at 9:13:32

Actually, my belief is to respect everyone, period. I was raised in a household where as kids, we where taught to explore, learn new things, and yes, challenge adults on issues.
We just treated *everybody* with respect, though. It didnt matter if it was a poor homeless person (well, maybe they got *a bit more respect*..) or a cop. I learnt about greenhouse gases back in 1977 when I was about 7-8 years old, and Id challenge my science teacher on the issue. I did it politely like always, and he gave me great marks for it. Authoritarian individuals where a bit of an exception, and I often ended up calling them names or something. But I was always smart about it all, smarter then the adults, and could get my way out of anything. That was at school anyways. In my home life, I had an amazing time growing up, years I cherish and even sometimes wish I could live again. That I think is where my depression really came in. I had to grow up and pick a career..lol.

Jay

 

Re: To all: My respect for authority + self-esteem » Jay_Bravest_Face

Posted by Phillipa on July 1, 2008, at 0:46:43

In reply to Re: To all: My respect for authority + self-esteem » 64Bowtie, posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on June 30, 2008, at 23:38:04

Jay why not be Peter Pan and you won't have to grown up be young and playful forever. just kidding. Love Phillipa

 

Re: To all: My respect for authority + self-esteem

Posted by 64Bowtie on July 1, 2008, at 4:27:35

In reply to Re: To all: My respect for authority + self-esteem » 64Bowtie, posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on June 30, 2008, at 23:38:04

Jay,

Thanks much for the reponse... I hear in your post your attitude toward "other-respect" and not a syllable about self-respect, ending on how your depression has rooted itself in your grown-up (yet not mature) life... Is that what you really meant to say???

While I was busy recovering those 20 odd years ago, there were no mysteries about what was happenning... My challenge is to figure out how to be evocative and appealing about the recovery process... I have been faithful to PBabble and Dr-Bob's mission since November of 2001 because all-here have openned their hearts and shared maticulous details from their lives and experiences...

I am not on a mission to cure, but rather a mission to belong, while reflecting on cure and what that might mean... Hopefully my reflections add spice, without assaulting the palate... I assure you I care about each and every participant at PBabble, even those I've taken to task for lack of appropriateness...

Please don't give up on us because we won't ever give up on you... Like in the Sci-Fi Epic, "Dune", let's mix our waters so that we all might persevere...

Rod


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