Psycho-Babble Social Thread 761414

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HELP! PLS READ!!?? :(

Posted by Fivefires on June 5, 2007, at 20:05:24

Apologize, first of all, re: posting on Social.

I often seem to connect and receive feedback via this board, it being somewhat more open-ended a board, rather than posting situation-specific boards. This situation is ‘so not ‘ specific. It is very widely misunderstood. Shadowplayers721 … you may understand.

Some of u may recall the phenomena which I suffered during nervous breakdown in 2005.

One was ‘a feeling of pressure in the top back of my head’, not ‘similar to a headache’.

It is happening right now!!!

It happened (in the hospital) after difficulty breathing –or- hyperventilating for long periods, and it was quite quickly relieved by 10mg Valium.

During one such period, left untreated by Valium, it led to ‘a state of mind of paranoia’. Thank God I knew enough about paranoia to self-talk (‘It is all in my head.’ ‘All people are NOT focusing and talking about me.’) myself through these stints before receiving Valium. Also during these times, I once had an occurrence of ‘near syncope’. I called for help. Nurses came running, helped me back to near their station, took my BP, (I think it was my 3rd day there and this was the first time they checked it.) and ‘it was so not right’, told me to sit w/ my head down between my knees until doctor called.

My doctors would often forget to properly convey to nurses ‘via chart’, the authorization of administration of Valium, time, and dosage. This is why they were awaiting a call from him. I was supposed to have been given Valium ‘before’ all this happened, but doc left w/o noting it on chart.

This past Sunday, I had finished getting ready to leave for an errand. I was about ready to leave when all of the sudden ‘I become overwhelmed and began crying and shaking. (These are two other phenomena very prevalent before and during the breakdown in 2005.). I hit the bed. Yesterday it was all I could do to take my meds and make it to and fro the bathroom.

It is Tues and I am just now able to sit up and access my pute. Still this isn’t ez. One of my daughter’s brought me some food, giving me a reason to force myself to the kitchen table. She left and I’d just lied down to rest.

My head hit the pillow and I noticed I have the same ‘feeling of pressure in the top back of my head’. It is really scaring me. I left two emergency messages for doc, talked w/ psych nurse who works on a detox unit, my therapist, my caseworker, pretty much every1!

No one seems to know what this is or if it might be dangerous to me!

At the hospital I was given 10mg Valium t.i.d., but now an outpatient, I am on Xanax. (I can take 2mg Xanax t.i.d.) I called the pharmacy and was told one cannot compare Valium to Xanax as it remains in your system longer.

I’m scared and feel ‘quite left all alone in this frightening time’. Do I need Valium v. Xanax, I am wondering. Well friends, whatever u can say or do will be helpful. I feel very abandoned by those who are entrusted w/ my mental health care!

Hope all well .. all ways

5f

 

Re: HELP! PLS READ!!?? :( » Fivefires

Posted by Phillipa on June 5, 2007, at 22:46:31

In reply to HELP! PLS READ!!?? :(, posted by Fivefires on June 5, 2007, at 20:05:24

Five Fires you can take the xanax lmg is not enough? If so do you have any left over valium as you seem to trust it and took it before? If not and the lmg of xanax doesn't work .Take another mg of xanax. And go to bed. Sounds like a panic attack . I am not a doctor. And you can call the crisis line first as self medication is not good. And then call whoever they say to call. As a matter of fact call the hospital psych ward and ask for a nurse and ask her who you can call and an e-mail Love Phillipa that e-mail is to me. please

 

WHERE R ALL MY OTHER BABBLE FRIENDS?

Posted by Fivefires on June 5, 2007, at 23:28:46

In reply to Re: HELP! PLS READ!!?? :( » Fivefires, posted by Phillipa on June 5, 2007, at 22:46:31

This isn't a panic attack Phillipa. I know them all too well. I haven't had one of them since being on Xanax, come to think of it.

This is very different. That may be why there is so little knowledge out there.

I hope someone isn't 'holdinig back' because they are afraid they will frighten me. I'd rather hear the truth friends, .. well, gently tho'.

Was wondering Shadowplayers721 might contact me?

I did not self-medicate; instructed by a psych nurse on phone. Although, she had 'no clue' what the pressure on the top back of my head is/was.

It's gone now, but I'm still very interested in what it is/was and what it does/did.

Where are my other babble friends?

Please talk to me.

I feel I have so little support.

Family won't speak w/ me. Children, well they are children.

I feel so alone in this.

Tks P!!!!

Love, 5f

 

Re: HELP! PLS READ!!?? :( » Fivefires

Posted by frida on June 5, 2007, at 23:45:38

In reply to HELP! PLS READ!!?? :(, posted by Fivefires on June 5, 2007, at 20:05:24

Hi,
I just wanted to send support to you...
even if we have never talked before.

Could you contact your therapist? Are you seeing him/her soon?

I Know that when I'm in crisis, the only thing that helps me is to stop fighting by myself and just let my T help me somehow...

I am sorry you are hurting so badly. It sounds so scary and painful. I hope you can contact your T soon and find some relief to this.

I am sending you support from here...

love,
Frida.

 

Re: HELP! PLS READ!!?? :(

Posted by Fivefires on June 6, 2007, at 1:17:08

In reply to Re: HELP! PLS READ!!?? :( » Fivefires, posted by frida on June 5, 2007, at 23:45:38

Hi Frida .. nice to meet you.

I did call my therapist today too. She seemed more concerned that I was not able to leave the house to come in and sign papers, than concerned about what had happened. Not much any of them said about my situation, as if they thought 'I' was mis-reading it. It seems there is so much 'misunderstanding' about the reality of a nervous breakdown. I have a little medical background and am disappointed that those in the more highly trained psych arena aren't more knowledgable.

This eve another person in my family 'diss'd me'. It couldn't have hit me at a worse time. I don't know understand how they all think they can get blood out of this turnip. I don't know how my mother can sit easy w/ knowing she is the cause.

I guess if I'd never had a family, it might not hurt so much to have them all turn their backs on me. But I did and it really hurts.

I'm so upset, I don't want to go to sleep, for fear of waking up to this unhappiness.

So, I truly appreciate your support.

5f

 

Re: HELP! PLS READ!!?? :( » Fivefires

Posted by gardenergirl on June 6, 2007, at 7:45:59

In reply to Re: HELP! PLS READ!!?? :(, posted by Fivefires on June 6, 2007, at 1:17:08

Could there be a medical reason for the pressure you feel in your head, and maybe that's triggering your distress? What came to mind is a migraine or maybe an increase in blood pressure. Maybe a histamine reaction to something?

I'm sorry it's happening. I wish I could offer more helpful info. But I'm thinking of you and wishing you well.

Gentle hugs....
gg

 

Re: HELP! PLS READ!!?? :(

Posted by TexasChic on June 6, 2007, at 18:25:31

In reply to HELP! PLS READ!!?? :(, posted by Fivefires on June 5, 2007, at 20:05:24

Well, I'm certainly no expert on meds, but I do take Xanax and for me 2mg is fairly high. My speculation, and that's all it is, is that if Valium helped before, 2mg Xanax should do SOMETHING. I mean, don't they kind of work in a similiar way? I don't know, but I would think this is really something that is out of our league here at babble. It sounds like something a doctor needs to figure out. I hope you hear from someone soon. And I hope you feel better soon.

-T

 

Re: HELP! PLS READ!!?? :( » Fivefires

Posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on June 7, 2007, at 15:57:38

In reply to HELP! PLS READ!!?? :(, posted by Fivefires on June 5, 2007, at 20:05:24

> Apologize, first of all, re: posting on Social.
>
> I often seem to connect and receive feedback via this board, it being somewhat more open-ended a board, rather than posting situation-specific boards. This situation is ‘so not ‘ specific. It is very widely misunderstood. Shadowplayers721 … you may understand.
>
> Some of u may recall the phenomena which I suffered during nervous breakdown in 2005.
>
> One was ‘a feeling of pressure in the top back of my head’, not ‘similar to a headache’.
>
> It is happening right now!!!
>
> It happened (in the hospital) after difficulty breathing –or- hyperventilating for long periods, and it was quite quickly relieved by 10mg Valium.
>
> During one such period, left untreated by Valium, it led to ‘a state of mind of paranoia’. Thank God I knew enough about paranoia to self-talk (‘It is all in my head.’ ‘All people are NOT focusing and talking about me.’) myself through these stints before receiving Valium. Also during these times, I once had an occurrence of ‘near syncope’. I called for help. Nurses came running, helped me back to near their station, took my BP, (I think it was my 3rd day there and this was the first time they checked it.) and ‘it was so not right’, told me to sit w/ my head down between my knees until doctor called.
>
> My doctors would often forget to properly convey to nurses ‘via chart’, the authorization of administration of Valium, time, and dosage. This is why they were awaiting a call from him. I was supposed to have been given Valium ‘before’ all this happened, but doc left w/o noting it on chart.
>
> This past Sunday, I had finished getting ready to leave for an errand. I was about ready to leave when all of the sudden ‘I become overwhelmed and began crying and shaking. (These are two other phenomena very prevalent before and during the breakdown in 2005.). I hit the bed. Yesterday it was all I could do to take my meds and make it to and fro the bathroom.
>
> It is Tues and I am just now able to sit up and access my pute. Still this isn’t ez. One of my daughter’s brought me some food, giving me a reason to force myself to the kitchen table. She left and I’d just lied down to rest.
>
> My head hit the pillow and I noticed I have the same ‘feeling of pressure in the top back of my head’. It is really scaring me. I left two emergency messages for doc, talked w/ psych nurse who works on a detox unit, my therapist, my caseworker, pretty much every1!
>
> No one seems to know what this is or if it might be dangerous to me!
>
> At the hospital I was given 10mg Valium t.i.d., but now an outpatient, I am on Xanax. (I can take 2mg Xanax t.i.d.) I called the pharmacy and was told one cannot compare Valium to Xanax as it remains in your system longer.
>
> I’m scared and feel ‘quite left all alone in this frightening time’. Do I need Valium v. Xanax, I am wondering. Well friends, whatever u can say or do will be helpful. I feel very abandoned by those who are entrusted w/ my mental health care!
>
> Hope all well .. all ways
>
> 5f
>

Hi...

It sounds like you have been through major dread. My suspicion, and I hope this doesn't scare you off, would be to look at taking say your Valium or Xanax (maybe even both) with a small start-up of an antidepressant. If you still have trouble, maybe look at adding a small dose of an atypical anti-psychotic. Don't let all of the 'sensationalism' about atypical antipsychotics scare you. They can work with the benzos to keep *any* anxiety at bay, and with a bit of an antidepressant, can work wonders. You could also consider the other mood-stabilizers (Lamictal, Topomax, Depakote) but honestly, they have so many side-effects and I think people tolerate them less than atypical antipsychotics.
This is just "my opinion", and you really need to speak directly with a doctor about this. You can mention the above things. Stay safe, good luck, and remember..this is NOT what it is going to be like all the time. It is just ONE moment in time. But you should pursue relief asap.

Best,
Jay

 

Re: HELP! PLS READ!!?? :( **TRIGGER**

Posted by Fivefires on June 7, 2007, at 17:15:45

In reply to Re: HELP! PLS READ!!?? :( » Fivefires, posted by gardenergirl on June 6, 2007, at 7:45:59

Yep ... I know ... seems it must have something to do w/ blood pressure.

When I'd not rec'd my Valium in hospital in time, and it was left to go on for quite a while, the pressure in the top back of my head, I became paranoid, ya' know as u would think all are looking and talking about you. But, w/ my tiny bit of medical background, I talked myself through it ... though very very difficult. Kept telling myself 'No ... they are not talking about you. No ... they are not all looking at you', but it was h*ll! Then when given Valium and the pressure relieved, the thoughts disappeared. So, this is something serious. A person who had no knowledge of paranoia induced physically would think they were 'losing their freakin' mind'!

Tks so much all of you. I'm still feeling a little shaky and 'not quite right'.

To top it off, yesterday I guess I acted out of sorts w/ a person, a person that helps me carry stuff up and down these 19 stairs (my back injury) and he told me to *uck off and never call him again!

Today I feel like ENDING IT ALL! Because I'm so damn tired of 'making mistakes' out of the difficulties that my mental health present.

I was feeling a little jealous of someone else receiving more attn than I and said something I shouldn't have. I can rationalize it away, saying I'm nervous as have company coming, but still shouldn't have said what I did.

Get this ... it was my ex-abusive-husband.

Yes ... he is whom I have to depend on to get things up and down these stairs.

I've tried to persuade my son to be more helpful, but 'he thinks his Dad walks on water' despite what he did to me, and he doesn't 'believe in mental problems' really.

So, the world, my world anyway, has caved in.

I haven't bathed or brushed my teeth in days. I just curl up in bed.

I am taking more pain pills than I should.

I feel if I remain on this earth much longer, I'll turn everyone that I've ever loved, against me, inadvertently.

I think I need to be back on an AD.

I hope I've not upset anyone too much w/ this post.

hugstoall

5f

 

Re: HELP! PLS READ!!?? :(

Posted by Fivefires on June 7, 2007, at 17:27:15

In reply to Re: HELP! PLS READ!!?? :( » Fivefires, posted by Jay_Bravest_Face on June 7, 2007, at 15:57:38

I got 'cotton ball head headaches' w/ Topomax and Lamictal Jay.

Maybe it was the atypical antipsychotics that made me eat everything in site!(?????) I have no girth at all; I mean .. I'm tiny; built like a runner w/ no hips! All the weight piled up on my ribcage and I felt terrible and could barely breathe, and I looked disgustingly deformed!

I don't know.

I'm on board w/ an AD I think, but doesn't anyone else experience above side effects w/ atypicals and mood stabilizers?????

I'm losing it' ... gotta' lie down.

tks Jay

5f

 

Re: HELP! PLS READ!!?? :(

Posted by Angela2 on June 8, 2007, at 13:25:27

In reply to Re: HELP! PLS READ!!?? :(, posted by Fivefires on June 7, 2007, at 17:27:15

Fivefires,
I experienced a little weight gain from being on zyprexa. I hope you feel better soon. (((fivefires)))

 

Re: HELP! PLS READ!!?? :(

Posted by Fivefires on June 8, 2007, at 19:44:18

In reply to Re: HELP! PLS READ!!?? :(, posted by Angela2 on June 8, 2007, at 13:25:27

And my understanding is that Zyprexa is the 'Ace' when it comes to this category of drugs, right??? Most peeps prefer it to Depakote, is my understanding. And every1 just tolerates the weight gain????

Okay, what's wrong w/ me that I won't??

(Tks Angela2. I'm very frustrated, not at you!)

5f

 

Re: HELP! PLS READ!!?? :( » Fivefires

Posted by Phillipa on June 8, 2007, at 20:06:29

In reply to Re: HELP! PLS READ!!?? :(, posted by Fivefires on June 8, 2007, at 19:44:18

I feel the same way it's not you. Hey the thyroid since the endo has already put weight on me no more. Bad for health and self-image. That's just me. Love Phillipa

 

Re: HELP! PLS READ!!?? :(

Posted by Fivefires on June 8, 2007, at 20:18:04

In reply to Re: HELP! PLS READ!!?? :( » Fivefires, posted by Phillipa on June 8, 2007, at 20:06:29

Tks P. It is nice of you to extend an olive branch. A lot of folks might say I am being vane.

I go down to my appt w/ P or any dam* psychiatric arena, and sooooo many people are overweight!

The first thought that comes to mind is, 'they're all on appetite-inducing meds'. I have 'no place to put weight'! I swear if I had any girth between my hips, maybe; but don't. So that's it. That's the end all.

Would I rather be fat than feel like I do right now? No. It's no trade off. Neither is acceptable.

My levothyroxine is .075. What's yours P?

5f

 

Re: HELP! PLS READ!!?? :( » Fivefires

Posted by Angela2 on June 8, 2007, at 20:40:17

In reply to Re: HELP! PLS READ!!?? :(, posted by Fivefires on June 8, 2007, at 19:44:18

It's ok, didn't take it as directed at me. I only gained a little bit of weight. And I feel it's worth it because I'm feeling a lot better.

 

Re: HELP! PLS READ!!?? :(

Posted by Fivefires on June 8, 2007, at 20:45:47

In reply to Re: HELP! PLS READ!!?? :( » Fivefires, posted by Angela2 on June 8, 2007, at 20:40:17

I'm glad.

Would u mind sharing your dosage or if u take combined w/ anything else?

tks, 5f

 

I babblemailed u (nm) » Fivefires

Posted by Angela2 on June 10, 2007, at 18:48:26

In reply to Re: HELP! PLS READ!!?? :(, posted by Fivefires on June 8, 2007, at 20:45:47

 

Yes U did; Tk U.

Posted by Fivefires on June 10, 2007, at 20:25:29

In reply to I babblemailed u (nm) » Fivefires, posted by Angela2 on June 10, 2007, at 18:48:26

I think 'I need to get a job', even if it's just a little job w/ a little money!

Oh!

I'm seeing 'a different P this week'!

Wouldn't it be wonderful if she'd take one look at me and say 'I know exactly what you need and here it is! Like 'the Wizard' of Oz, DIDN'T!(?) Remember. It was right there in Dorothy all along; the ability to go home I mean. But, the Wiz did give scarecrow, tinman, and lion what they needed in the end tho', so I guess 'the Wiz' wasn't such a bad guy.

No, I haven't 'gone over the edge', yet.

I'm just ready to put my head health into someone else's hands. I feel like 'I've been guiding my psychiatrists all along'. I wish I could see one more than 15m every 90 days. Might help huh?

Still not homeless either!

But, if you see a girl w/ a sign around her neck that says 'somebutty take me home', that's me. I'm clean, and don't bite or pee on carpets, ... yet.

tksuguys&havegoodweeks, 5f

 

Re: WHERE R ALL MY OTHER BABBLE FRIENDS? » Fivefires

Posted by Kath on June 13, 2007, at 15:41:41

In reply to WHERE R ALL MY OTHER BABBLE FRIENDS?, posted by Fivefires on June 5, 2007, at 23:28:46

Hi Fivef,

Sorry. I care about you. To be really honest, I can't get up the whatever-it-takes to read all the posts on this thread.

Bottom line is I wonder how you are now? Are you OK? Any new insight or suggestions & are you still experiencing the same thing?

((((((((((((((((((((((you))))))))))))))))))))))))


luv, Kath

 

Re: WHERE R ALL MY OTHER BABBLE FRIENDS?

Posted by Fivefires on June 13, 2007, at 22:15:07

In reply to Re: WHERE R ALL MY OTHER BABBLE FRIENDS? » Fivefires, posted by Kath on June 13, 2007, at 15:41:41

Hey Kath! Good to hear from you!

I've been so fatigued I can't sit here very long.

Partly I think 'the heat' and 'stress' and maybe too much Xanax as I am prescribed 2mg 3x a day.

But, I did just two errands yesterday and in the middle of one, I had a really severe panic attack. Felt like couldn't breathe, ya' know elephant sitting on chest feeling, feeling like you're going to have a heart attack.

Have you had them before?

They make you feel like you need to sit down and have something to drink and, well, for me, ... to light up a cigarette and really relax.

There is never anything particular which precipitates them.

I haven't had one in quite some time, don't think. In fact, I think I've only had maybe 2-3 since began on Xanax v. Valium.

I can't remember now if I had more on Valium or on Xanax.

I looked at my watch when the panic attack hit and saw it was about 45m to 1hr after the scheduled dosage time of Xanax, so that probably had a lot to do w/ it, and, I was in the middle of an 'unpleasant Wal-*art shopping experience'.

Nothing is where it should be in those stores and if you finally get to where whatever it is should be, there are none there!

(Whoops; almost ended like a letter! :)

Stay well (((you)))!

5f


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