Psycho-Babble Social Thread 718513

Shown: posts 1 to 19 of 19. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

I am lower than low

Posted by ClearSkies on January 2, 2007, at 11:51:28

Deeper than dirt, whatever. My pdoc and therapist have dared to have their own lives over the holidays. My depression is pathetic and not worthy of a 911 call, much less a call to the on-call pdoc or disrupting my T's break. I did manage to make an appointment for a mammogram, but that isn't much fun.

So sick of feeling sick, so despairing that I'll find a treatment that I can live with, so angry with my pdoc, so afraid to tell my therapist how badly I'm feeling. My DH has no idea what's going on; he has his own problems and he just wants me off everything to find out who the "real" and unmedicated me is.

Going through the motions of daily life is exhausting. Putting on the happy face for the world at large is counter to how I feel and feels like a betrayal to myself. I want to stop feeling altogether. I want to take my mind someplace so it can be numb and without having to react to any stimuli at all.

 

Re: I am lower than low » ClearSkies

Posted by Phillipa on January 2, 2007, at 12:08:12

In reply to I am lower than low, posted by ClearSkies on January 2, 2007, at 11:51:28

Oh how I relate. Mornings and days are the worst. I don't want to even see my pdoc this week. I mean what can she do nothing. And my husband hates me. Love Phillipa

 

Re: I am lower than low » ClearSkies

Posted by Jay on January 2, 2007, at 12:46:10

In reply to I am lower than low, posted by ClearSkies on January 2, 2007, at 11:51:28

> Deeper than dirt, whatever. My pdoc and therapist have dared to have their own lives over the holidays. My depression is pathetic and not worthy of a 911 call, much less a call to the on-call pdoc or disrupting my T's break. I did manage to make an appointment for a mammogram, but that isn't much fun.
>
> So sick of feeling sick, so despairing that I'll find a treatment that I can live with, so angry with my pdoc, so afraid to tell my therapist how badly I'm feeling. My DH has no idea what's going on; he has his own problems and he just wants me off everything to find out who the "real" and unmedicated me is.
>
> Going through the motions of daily life is exhausting. Putting on the happy face for the world at large is counter to how I feel and feels like a betrayal to myself. I want to stop feeling altogether. I want to take my mind someplace so it can be numb and without having to react to any stimuli at all.
>
>

Hi CS:

I don't know what it is...the planets aren't aligning up properly or something..heh. I am really sorry you are feeling down. Those written words don't come close to expressing how I really feel. I've been running around, unshaved looking like a bum, in track pants for the past week or so, just wishing the world with, if you'll pardon my French, "F*ck Off"..lol. I can't even watch t.v.....the news makes me go bezerk..with all of the wars, killing.. homelessness. poverty. Sh!t. I say!..lol.

But honestly...I don't think we can do better (at the current time) then psych meds and if wanted, therapy. It may take you a very, very mixed formula of meds...I take 5-6 meds to be able to function during the day. (Or sometimes I can fake it.) People say that is "to many meds". Well...if you can do better then what I got...show me the money..you know? I work with kids with Autism, and we import to Canada their Serzone (banned here)..but it works AMAZING for them. Many are on different combos too..they are also on SSRI (Fluvoxamine the choice for some reason), beta-blockers,and Risperdal.

Anyhow..I am sorry I hijacked your thread a bit...but your existential ponderings are very much held with me too. Best...and keep fighting...Jay

 

Re: I am lower than low » ClearSkies

Posted by All Done on January 2, 2007, at 13:04:25

In reply to I am lower than low, posted by ClearSkies on January 2, 2007, at 11:51:28

I'm sorry you're having such a rough time, CS.

I just went through a difficult time with trying to change meds and ended up taking everything away except the Wellbutrin. I know what a struggle it can be trying to decide what to do. I hope your husband can eventually support whatever decision you make. Have you told him how you're feeling?

Maybe try to get some rest. The holiday season is exhausting on it's own and being depressed only makes it harder. Try to take a break. Don't worry so much about putting on a happy face. And please, if you feel you need to, don't hesitate to call your T or pdoc. They will help or find help for you, regardless of their breaks.

(((((ClearSkies)))))

Take care,
Laurie

 

Re: I am lower than low » ClearSkies

Posted by happykat on January 2, 2007, at 13:27:52

In reply to I am lower than low, posted by ClearSkies on January 2, 2007, at 11:51:28

(((((((ClearSkies)))))))

I'm really sorry you are going through such a rough spell. Have you told your hubby how you're feeling lately? Maybe if he knew he would be more understanding about the meds. Stay safe, feel better.

Regards,
happykat

 

Re: I am lower than low

Posted by jylisnotlaughing on January 2, 2007, at 13:28:16

In reply to Re: I am lower than low » ClearSkies, posted by All Done on January 2, 2007, at 13:04:25

cs..
do take care of yourself..the christmas twinkels can wait another day to be put to bed.

 

Re: I am lower than low » ClearSkies

Posted by Poet on January 2, 2007, at 14:14:16

In reply to I am lower than low, posted by ClearSkies on January 2, 2007, at 11:51:28

Hi Clearskies,

You know how in Bugs Bunny cartoons he'd crawl in a hole and then pull the hole in after himself? That's where I'm at.

Sorry you're feeling the same way. I can't offer any solutions just empathy for what little it's worth.

Poet

 

Re: I am lower than low » Poet

Posted by Farkus on January 2, 2007, at 15:59:06

In reply to Re: I am lower than low » ClearSkies, posted by Poet on January 2, 2007, at 14:14:16

I'm sorry CS.

I have no good words of wisdom except to say you're in my thoughts.

 

Above for CS - but thinking of you too, Poet!

Posted by Farkus on January 2, 2007, at 16:00:22

In reply to Re: I am lower than low » Poet, posted by Farkus on January 2, 2007, at 15:59:06

and everyone who's in a rough patch ---

 

Re: I am lower than low » ClearSkies

Posted by AuntieMel on January 2, 2007, at 16:13:45

In reply to I am lower than low, posted by ClearSkies on January 2, 2007, at 11:51:28

The good thing about being lower than low is there is no where to go but up?????

Right!

Care to join me under my rock?

 

Re: I am lower than low » ClearSkies

Posted by Dinah on January 2, 2007, at 17:46:23

In reply to I am lower than low, posted by ClearSkies on January 2, 2007, at 11:51:28

I think holidays are rough. Therapists gone, cheer all around, and tons of tension too.

Maybe things will start to get back to normal now.

I'm sorry you're feeling so bad, clearskies.

 

Re: I am lower than low » ClearSkies

Posted by LlurpsieBlossom on January 2, 2007, at 19:05:49

In reply to I am lower than low, posted by ClearSkies on January 2, 2007, at 11:51:28

Hi clearskies,
sorry you´re not so good right now.

you can take a break if you need it. the world will keep spinning, i promise.

sorry I can´t write more, but it´s my bedtime already.

please take good care of yourself and do something nice for you. pomegranate juice? a walk through an art museum?

sticky hugs from a distance (I´ve got a cold, and I´m in the sunny hemisphere)

your friend
Ll

 

Thank you, everyone

Posted by ClearSkies on January 3, 2007, at 9:40:09

In reply to Re: I am lower than low » ClearSkies, posted by LlurpsieBlossom on January 2, 2007, at 19:05:49

I'm not really up to responding to all your thoughtful and encouraging posts. I've also got some hypomania cycling its way through my brain cells, so this is particularly nasty.

To that end, I made an appointment to see my pdoc tomorrow morning. Knock-down, drag-it-out with her. I think I'll being my own tissues with me because she uses the free cheaply made ones that the pharmaceutical companies rain on her.

I am going to lay low and do my sloth imitation for the day.

I am so grateful for the support everyone has given me. It really does help to make this a little more bearable. ((((Babblers))))

ClearSkies

 

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((you))))))))))))))))) (nm) » ClearSkies

Posted by Kath on January 3, 2007, at 21:07:41

In reply to I am lower than low, posted by ClearSkies on January 2, 2007, at 11:51:28

 

Re: I am lower than low » ClearSkies

Posted by Deneb on January 4, 2007, at 0:10:08

In reply to I am lower than low, posted by ClearSkies on January 2, 2007, at 11:51:28

(((((((((((((ClearSkies))))))))))))))

I wish I could make things better for you.

Deneb*

 

Re: Thank you, everyone

Posted by Jai Narayan on January 4, 2007, at 0:21:36

In reply to Thank you, everyone, posted by ClearSkies on January 3, 2007, at 9:40:09

> I'm not really up to responding to all your thoughtful and encouraging posts. I've also got some hypomania cycling its way through my brain cells, so this is particularly nasty.
>
> To that end, I made an appointment to see my pdoc tomorrow morning. Knock-down, drag-it-out with her. I think I'll being my own tissues with me because she uses the free cheaply made ones that the pharmaceutical companies rain on her.
>
> I am going to lay low and do my sloth imitation for the day.
>
> I am so grateful for the support everyone has given me. It really does help to make this a little more bearable. ((((Babblers))))
>
> ClearSkies

I am so sorry, you have been more than kind to me and I deeply thank you.
Jai


 

Re: I am lower than low

Posted by LlurpsieBlossom on January 4, 2007, at 8:08:39

In reply to Re: I am lower than low » ClearSkies, posted by Deneb on January 4, 2007, at 0:10:08

Hey ClearSkies,

I hope you find some comfort on your sloth days. be brave with your pdoc and tell her what´s going on. can you schedule an extra session with T this week ?

My husband´s favorite therapy on sloth days is to go to the movie theater. Alternatively, you can rent a pile of movies from the library or blockbastards and just veg out. tune in tune out. just count the hours. I hope your agitated neurotransmitters chill out soon.

please take care of my clearskies

your friend
Ll

 

Re: I am lower than low » LlurpsieBlossom

Posted by ClearSkies on January 4, 2007, at 11:37:37

In reply to Re: I am lower than low, posted by LlurpsieBlossom on January 4, 2007, at 8:08:39

> blockbastards

snort!

 

Re: I am lower than low

Posted by Kath on January 4, 2007, at 13:09:10

In reply to Re: I am lower than low » LlurpsieBlossom, posted by ClearSkies on January 4, 2007, at 11:37:37

> > blockbastards
>
> snort!


double snort!!!!!!!!! never heard that one!!!!


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