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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 15 to 39 of 54. Go back in thread:
Posted by Racer on June 17, 2006, at 17:18:48
In reply to Re: Depressed Housewives Delivery Service, posted by llrrrpp on June 17, 2006, at 15:11:24
> >
> saving my vicodin pill (got one left) for after the dentist trip. I'll try to sch. appt for next week, early. That will be good motivation. Not matter how bad it gets. I have a vicodin for afterwards. only one, not enough to get into any trouble, just enough to make me sleepy and untroubled. Dentist is nice. African American woman, very kind, old-fashioned practice with focus on "care" rather than technology and billing. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.
>
>I adore my dentist, too, for what's probably the same reason. He's a Healer, not a Scientist. And he always writes a prescription for pain killers after a big deal thing. (And most of the pain killers won't do much damage to you. You really won't get in trouble with them, if you're thinking what I think you're thinking...)
And I'm another with Very Bad Teeth. I think every one of my molars has split along what are supposed to be the fuse lines. {sigh} And I had a molar break UNDER a crown! You know what I was eating when it happened? A piece of pasta. Well cooked pasta. I think it would have gone from cream of wheat at that point, but it still felt yucky.
I'm sorry you're hurting Ms Lurp, and hope that you find yourself soothed soon.
Posted by curtm on June 17, 2006, at 17:26:05
In reply to Depressed Housewives Delivery Service, posted by llrrrpp on June 17, 2006, at 13:52:35
Can I order beer from Depressed Housewives, Inc. if I am not a housewife? I could always disguise my voice and dress up in order to qualify for the delivery service. Does it come with hugs?
I hope your day goes better sweetie pie. I really do.
(((llrrrpp)))
Posted by corafree on June 17, 2006, at 17:45:12
In reply to It's over *trigger*, posted by llrrrpp on June 17, 2006, at 9:11:24
I'm so sorry about your tooth Llrrrpp :( :( !
I came over to social and find you feeling like I feel this weekend.
I know you probably don't want to hear how much you do for others, but you were/are there for me.
I'm thinking you're feeling 'shortchanged' and and am reminding you ... that's 'totally understandable!' It isn't fair and it really suc*s! BUT, I think, ... these things you do for others (And, you do a lot.) & finding patience to get through these trials (You reach out and that's an example of courage. In your heart; you know it is.) will return to you in some well-deserved happiness.
My computer sounds like it's gonna' blow again, so need shutdown. Goin' to relax in my corner. I need you. Be safe pls.
love, cf
ps I wanted to be a jock, but closed my eyes everytime I saw a ball coming at me, so was a cheerleader instead :}
Posted by AuntieMel on June 17, 2006, at 17:47:35
In reply to Depressed Housewives Delivery Service, posted by llrrrpp on June 17, 2006, at 13:52:35
Posted by Deneb on June 17, 2006, at 17:49:19
In reply to Re: I *love* Kill Bill (nm) » llrrrpp, posted by AuntieMel on June 17, 2006, at 17:47:35
Posted by corafree on June 17, 2006, at 18:02:30
In reply to Depressed Housewives Delivery Service, posted by llrrrpp on June 17, 2006, at 13:52:35
LOL again!!
I have practically all those things in 'my corner'!! How did you know?? (I'm missing the Kill Bill video tho'! Good idea!)
I've got a small lamp w/ black shade and a small nightlight-size pink bulb in it .. creates a soothing atmosphere :}
I could call my rainydayman to bring me some B&J NY choc chunk fudge!
Be safe and warm.
cf
Posted by llrrrpp on June 17, 2006, at 18:03:57
In reply to Do I have to wear a costume? » llrrrpp, posted by curtm on June 17, 2006, at 17:26:05
> Can I order beer from Depressed Housewives, Inc. if I am not a housewife? I could always disguise my voice and dress up in order to qualify for the delivery service. Does it come with hugs?
>
Yes, beer, wine, and cosmopolitans are on the menu. If you have enough wherewithall to cross-dress in order to obtain delivery, you might not qualify as "depressed" per se, even if you *did* make a handsome woman. I'm sure we could make exception though, as long as you tip well, and do a drag show for the deliveryperson, perhaps to the tune of "Safety Dance"?In fact. That sounds like it might be a good act to include on the menu of services too.
ice cream
flowers
beer/wine/cosmos/
transvestite comedy show/
bubble bathsetc
other suggestions?> I hope your day goes better sweetie pie. I really do.
>
> (((llrrrpp)))thanks ((((curt))))
I'm gonna be okay. I'm gonna be okay. got 4 more hours before bedtime. I can make it.
Posted by MidnightBlue on June 17, 2006, at 19:14:12
In reply to Re: Do I have to wear a costume?, posted by llrrrpp on June 17, 2006, at 18:03:57
Could we add.....
cheesecake with fresh fruit
watermelon (already cut and seedless)
fresh cherries
ice cream sundaes (any kind)
popcorn
milkshakes and malts
MB
Posted by corafree on June 17, 2006, at 19:24:48
In reply to Re: Do I have to wear a costume?, posted by llrrrpp on June 17, 2006, at 18:03:57
<other suggestions?>
Ear plugs (about 29 decibels) to drown out the aggravating sound of laughter you're sure is at your expense.
Small clock turned facing the wall to tell you what time it isn't.
Silk pillowcases to diminish 'my hair looks like a mini-blind cleaner' thoughts.
cf
Posted by TexasChic on June 17, 2006, at 19:29:31
In reply to It's over *trigger*, posted by llrrrpp on June 17, 2006, at 9:11:24
My tooth broke a couple of weeks ago too! I'm the same with the teeth thing, every molar has a crown! It's weird how tooth problems can get you down, but I totally understand. I have an appointment Tuesday to get the crown put on (it has a temporary one now). Can't say I'm looking forward to it, but I'll feel better once its done. Oh, and they have temporary fixes at the drug store, some sort of putty or something to put on it and its supposed to stay. I haven't tried it, but when I saw it I made a mental note of it for 'next time'.
I noticed in another post how depressed you were feeling. It sounded all too familiar to me. There are certain times when it's difficult for me to respond to posts that remind me so much of myself. I have to wait until I'm in a better place. But it doesn't mean I don't care! I hope you know that in the short time you've been here you've been very encourging to me. I think we're kind of on the same wave length.
Are you taking meds? Although I've done ALOT of hard work on myself mentally (and still am), I would've never been able to do it without Prozac. My depression is a physical thing that no amount of therapy can correct alone. I have to have the meds to live. Once the meds have fixed the chemical thing going on, THEN I'm able to start working on the mental stuff. Meds definately don't do everything, but they make me able to at least have a shot at getting better.
Please keep in touch and let us know how you're doing. There are lots of people here who care about you.
-T
Posted by corafree on June 17, 2006, at 19:53:14
In reply to Oh lurpsie! » llrrrpp, posted by TexasChic on June 17, 2006, at 19:29:31
TexasChic would you please share how many mgs of Prozac you're on and if it is or is not extended release?
I ask because I've reacted to another psych med which is available in both forms, extended/slow v. NOT, very differently. Pls babble if like and have time.
I wish I had my computer on separate phone line.
It's not even 6p here; seems a lot of babblers are to my east.
tks, cf
Posted by llrrrpp on June 17, 2006, at 19:55:52
In reply to Oh lurpsie! » llrrrpp, posted by TexasChic on June 17, 2006, at 19:29:31
Lurpsie's current medicine regimine is:
90 mg of cymbalta (up from 60 mg- changed 2 days ago) + 25 mg seroquel for happy night night.
Superimpose this on .061 g/210 liters of breath BAC (mild intoxication)
see http://www.intox.com/wheel/drinkwheel.asp
to calculate YOUR current blood alcohol content!and plenty of sorbet and other nourishing carbohydrates.
feeling plenty depressed. I promised a friend I wouldn't do anything mean to me tonight. I have 2 hours 10 minutes left until i get ready for bed.
counting down the minutes. Ever have a day like that- one minute at a time? that's me.
Repeat- I can do it. I can do it. I can go to bed without making trouble or getting hurt.
llrrrpp the Stupendous
Posted by gardenergirl on June 17, 2006, at 20:43:40
In reply to Re: Oh lurpsie! + bonus intoximeter » TexasChic, posted by llrrrpp on June 17, 2006, at 19:55:52
Oh my. I've had a tooth break on more than one occasion, and it really is depressing. It's awful! I have nightmares about teeth breaking or falling out.
I love your idea of a Depressed Housewife's Delivery Service. I've often longed for a dessert delivery service, but your idea is much much better.
I'm glad you are taking care of yourself and staying safe. Hang in there. And if your tooth gets too painful, try some clove oil on it til you can get to the dentist.
gg
Posted by llrrrpp on June 17, 2006, at 20:43:50
In reply to Re: Oh lurpsie! + bonus intoximeter » TexasChic, posted by llrrrpp on June 17, 2006, at 19:55:52
gonna get ready for bed in 1 hour 19 minutes.
have to try to stay safe for 1 hour 19 minutes.
try not to drink too much
i ate dinner just now (lasagne- very SOFT lasagne, but still difficult to chew-grrr)
nothing good on the TV. have to stay on the internet. But only happy places on the internet, not the dark places.
you know? I'm going to get off the internet for a while now. I'm tempted to go see ugliness and deliberately trigger myself. I'm going to do somehting else instead.
1 hour 17 minutes
Posted by MidnightBlue on June 17, 2006, at 21:03:18
In reply to countdown to bedtime, posted by llrrrpp on June 17, 2006, at 20:43:50
Lady and the Tramp is/was on! could be worse! going to eat some ice cream to make you feel better (even though you don't like it)!
MB
P.S. Hang in there. You can do this.
Posted by llrrrpp on June 17, 2006, at 21:31:33
In reply to Re: countdown to bedtime » llrrrpp, posted by MidnightBlue on June 17, 2006, at 21:03:18
Oh MB, I do enjoy ice cream, but it's rich, and i eat too much, and then i feel pretty yucky. I like coffee ice cream, cookies and cream, coconut, and cookie dough ice cream
51 minutes to go til i get ready for bed
please eat some ice cream for me.
I'm in bad shape. I'm scared of me. I'm still on this side of safe, though. cried enough today. drank enough to take the edge off, but not enough to release my desparation. chewing my cuticles, yes, but not cutting my arm. (it's off-limits tonight)
46 minutes to go.
I'm stressed out. thinking about everything I have to do next week. refinancing my student loans, making last-minute vacation reservations, calling up my relatives (calling my DAD...), homework, real work, dentist.
REally hoping my cracked tooth won't abcess before I can get it looked at. I'm going to send pdoc an email to see if there are any painkillers that are acceptable with current state of insanity/medication
Really hoping that I can make it 44 more minutes.
gonna go look at kittens now. better than looking @ rotten stuff.
I wish roommate weren't here. I want to be alone. I'm scared to be alone. I want to be alone. I'm so sorry to keep typing and typing. I'm really concerned that if I take my fingers off the keyboard they will grab something sharp and go to work on some area of flesh. One cannot protect everything, one can only protect by removing ability to act. inhibition. once failed, then mechanical barriers can be implemented. but cutting is anti social. If i stay in common area of apartment, I will not cut myself. If i'm in view of roommate (watching TV on the couch) I will behave myself. Must stay within view. That's a strategy. Funny how I'd let myself down in a heartbeat, but these silly social conventions prevent me from acting on my intentions. knives and razors and pushpins and all kinds of sharp edges, all over the place. but as long as I keep typing, they will not find their way into my hands. I don't want to disappoint Falls, or roomate, or curtm or husband, or happyflower, or elaine, or deneb, or anyother kind people- don't feel sad if I left you out. I have very very bad memory. they don't want me to bleed. Idon't understand why *I* want me to bleed. oh well. trying to protect myself, maybe? from myself?
trying to take out anger? on my skin? rather than taking my life? i don't know36 minutes.
now there's a problem- the TV is triggering me. Court TV show about 2 boys who plotted and committed violent acts to their families. homocide, torture.
now what? Do i go in my room? turn on my new white noise machine, get to work on drawing blood? Do i stay here listening to my blood pressure rising? lose-lose.
32 minutesokay.
I'm going into my room. going to find a magazine to read. something. AAAh :(yours,
-ll
Posted by TexasChic on June 17, 2006, at 21:42:13
In reply to Re: Oh lurpsie! » TexasChic, posted by corafree on June 17, 2006, at 19:53:14
I don't mind talking here about my meds. I take 40 mg Prozac in the morning, and 40mg at night, not extended release. Without it all I do is lay around practically catatonic. When I do feel emotion its hysterical crying. My depression is very severe.
I also take 300mg extended release Wellbutrin. I think the Wellbutrin aggravates my anxiety, but it really helps my energy level. So I decided it was better to have to take the occasional Xanax, than do without. It may not be the best solution, but its what's working for me now. And I have anxiety anyway without the Wellbutrin, so its not like its a HUGE difference.
-T
Posted by llrrrpp on June 17, 2006, at 21:43:05
In reply to Re: countdown to bedtime *trigger* long, posted by llrrrpp on June 17, 2006, at 21:31:33
oh no.
I just pushed husband away. he was trying to cheer me up (over the phone- he's out of town). i'm inconsolable. i hurt his feelings. made him feel unwanted. I'm such a horrible hooriblehoooooorible b*tch wifeypoo. my depression is contagious. i disapoint him. he calls with sunshine in his voice, by the time he hangs up, he sounds as bad as me. i told him i don't want to talk to him any more
(crying) isolating from him. I can't feel the love. this FUC*inG DEPRESSION. takes my heart away, breaks it. damages my body, my health, my job, my family. I'm worse than a person. I'm walking poison. nothing right. 24 minutes. still online. I don't know . I'm going to take my medicine early tonight. I'm soo dark right now. gone. gone. still safe though. not going to do the thing. too sad for that. that would bring relief. i want it badly, but I'm not 100% committed. i can't end it like that with husband. he's too sensitive. it would ruin him. he'd be all alone. (no family in this half of the world- only me). ALLL alone. worse than me. Have to stay safe for him. I can't feel his love. I can't feel my love. Can't feel anything but dispair. but I KNOW I love him. he's my guy. he'll come back to me one of these days and we'll go out on dates, and he'll tuck me in, and make me feel wanted. he's okay. just thinking about him. ((husband)) so sorry i let you down so many times.so sorry that your wife won't/can't love you the way you deserve. so sorry I can't live with you right now. it's my fault. i know it. not 100%, but mostly my fault.bye
Posted by TexasChic on June 17, 2006, at 21:54:17
In reply to Re: Oh lurpsie! + bonus intoximeter » TexasChic, posted by llrrrpp on June 17, 2006, at 19:55:52
I don't know much about Cymbalta, its one of the few I haven't been on. How many meds have you tried out? How long have you been on them?
I'm sorry you're having such a bad time tonight. I hope you're able to get your mind off it. Can you see your doctor anytime soon? Maybe your meds need an adjustment. I'm glad you are posting and aren't alone. Can you talk to your roommate? I hope you're feeling better soon. Keep in touch.
-T
Posted by TexasChic on June 17, 2006, at 21:59:41
In reply to Re: countdown to bedtime *trigger* long, posted by llrrrpp on June 17, 2006, at 21:43:05
I sorry lurpsie. Can you not go to bed early? Just plan to call hubby tommorow when you're better. He'll understand. You are putting way too much blame on yourself. Its the illness talking. Try to keep that in mind. I'm rooting for you.
-T
Posted by TexasChic on June 17, 2006, at 22:06:37
In reply to Re: countdown to bedtime *trigger* long » llrrrpp, posted by TexasChic on June 17, 2006, at 21:59:41
Llrrrpp, you're my new friend. I couldn't handle it if anything happened to you. Please be safe. If you get truly desperate, please either tell your room mate or call a hotline, or even the cops. Anything is better than what you can never take back. I'll be thinking of you.
-T
Posted by TexasChic on June 17, 2006, at 22:17:40
In reply to Re: countdown to bedtime *trigger* long, posted by TexasChic on June 17, 2006, at 22:06:37
Posted by TexasChic on June 17, 2006, at 22:25:27
In reply to I sent you a babblemail llrrrpp. (nm), posted by TexasChic on June 17, 2006, at 22:17:40
..if you've gone to bed already tonight.
-T
Posted by canadagirl on June 17, 2006, at 22:54:29
In reply to It's over *trigger*, posted by llrrrpp on June 17, 2006, at 9:11:24
Sorry you're feeling bad. I wish I could be there for you and everyone else who's feeling bad.
Posted by Deneb on June 18, 2006, at 3:13:45
In reply to Re: It's over *trigger* » llrrrpp, posted by canadagirl on June 17, 2006, at 22:54:29
How are you doing llrrrpp? Are you feeling any better today? I hope you had a good night's rest.
I like to sleep my days away when I'm depressed. I think it's good that you're getting up everyday and going to bed at a specific time.
Having dental problems can be really stressful. I had a toothache last month for a week and it just wore me out. I was crying and it even triggered me to think my bad thoughts. I think it's good that you're planning on going to the dentist soon. The worse thing that could happen is that you'll lose that tooth. Teeth can be replaced, it's not the end of the world. It just costs a bunch to get it replaced.
You feel bad enough already, but now you feel worse because you think you made your husband feel bad. It's okay, I'm sure your husband understands. Does he know how depressed you are? Can you call him when you feel lonely?
I think it's very important that you find ways to stay safe. You're thinking about ways to harm yourself and that's not okay. I used to think those thoughts a lot, so much so that I began to think they were normal, but they're not. Make sure your pdoc knows. Does she/he do psychotherapy with you? I think talking to someone about your thoughts can be very helpful for the here and now crises. Maybe call a crisis line if there isn't anyone.
Whenever you feel like hurting yourself, I think you should distract yourself. I find that distraction often helped me. Go to the store and buy some flowers, rearrange them, open a book, bake some cookies or butter tarts, anything, anything you like to do. Think about things that make you happy. I would think about Dr. Bob. Can you think about the love you have for your husband?
I hope you're feeling better today.
(((((((((((((((((((llrrrpp))))))))))))))))))))
Deneb*
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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