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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by med_empowered on February 27, 2006, at 23:19:54
I hate my life. I went back to school--then, my social phobia got so bad, I've just stopped going. I shake, I cant concentrate, I've missed classes--I don't know what to do. I cant see a shrink--no health insurance until next year. I'm overweight. I'm turning mean--my misery is making me hard to be around.
I moved, and I have to reason to think that some people around here know about an incident about a year ago that resulted in my involuntary hospitalization. To top it off, I see a former shrink around town now and then.
I hate my life. I think I might hate myself. I'm in my early 20s and I feel old. I've considered suicide, but it seems like a lot of work.
I'm wasting my time and my life, but I dont see how things could get any better. I'm so screwed up. I don't really have anyone to talk to about it; my parents just give me $$$ and call to say hi now and then, but nothing deep--I don't think they really think I can do anything. They laughed at me when I said I wanted to go to grad school.
I'm stuck, stuck stuck stuck and I don't know what to do. I'm so tired, really.
What do I do?
Posted by Deneb on February 27, 2006, at 23:40:05
In reply to I hate my life, posted by med_empowered on February 27, 2006, at 23:19:54
(((((((((med_empowered)))))))))))
I often think I'm wasting my time and life too, because I'm 24 and *still* haven't finished my B.Sc. I don't have any job experience other than fast food and a call centre.
It's OK though. It's not the end of the world. Life isn't about school or making money. We'll be OK. There are lots of other people in this world in very dire straits compared with us.
Maybe try focusing on the good things you have in life. Maybe try looking at things from another angle...pretend you just came from a very poor African village...that you didn't have a house to live in, only a shack, and you didn't have food to eat some days.
Then take a look around you and say, "Wow, I have a room and a bed and cupboards filled with food!" "I don't have to endure hard labour just to earn barely enough to survive on!" "There are fun things to do, like going to the movies, eating out and walking in the park."
I hope that helps you a tiny bit. I know how difficult it is when one is down like that.
Deneb
Posted by sleepygirl on February 27, 2006, at 23:45:40
In reply to I hate my life, posted by med_empowered on February 27, 2006, at 23:19:54
OK med, I think the suffering you're going through comes through loud and clear
I wish I could point out an easier path for you, because I know it can be pretty painfulI know I don't know all the issues you may be facing, but I have to say that when I was in my early 20's hope was in short supply for me as well... it just seemed to hard to keep up with it all..it was truly exhausting, and I'm glad I got through it, it was a desperate time. I never felt good enough, or like I could keep up with other people, or like I really had a clue
My anxiety felt like it was through the roof, and every single day was a supreme effort. Sometimes I got really, really tired.
Is there anything in your life that doesn't feel like an effort or that feels OK?
You said you have no pdoc, not even a nice little benzo to take the edge off?I can't tell you what to do, but I will listen of course.
What could happen that might be helpful for you?
Posted by med_empowered on February 28, 2006, at 1:09:48
In reply to Re: I hate my life » med_empowered, posted by sleepygirl on February 27, 2006, at 23:45:40
i hate whining, and i know its obnoxious its just..i feel so miserable. And I write--thats my big hobby--but all I can write about is THIS, this sense of misery and despair I have here.
I'm going to start exercising. And eating better. And..I'm going to quit smoking.
Other than that...I think maybe I'll try to look on the bright side: so, I'm not exactly in school right now. I'm lucky to still have some $$$--Deneb was right; I could have had the misfortune to have been born in some impoverished African country or something. Maybe I'll go on a road trip.
I think I need a change of scenery. I'm applying to an out-of-state school to try to accomplish that. Maybe it'll work out. If not..I can still move out of state; I'll just have to work a little harder to get into school.
Ugh. Thanks--I like writing about problems here b/c I can get feed back. My friends offer help, but I can't fully open up to them about **exactly** what it is I'm feeling. My family isn't of much help, really. I try to write it out myself, as a form of catharsis or something, but I just get stuck...stuck in the same feelings.
Thanks for listening and offering advice.
Posted by Tanzanite on February 28, 2006, at 1:30:24
In reply to Re: I hate my life, posted by med_empowered on February 28, 2006, at 1:09:48
HUGS, I really don't know what to say except that I hope you are able to find a way to get through all this somehow. Perhaps write on the writing board your feelings as well. I haven't vented yet much and am still kinda in a mess. You are young and still have time to do more, but it is so hard when you are stuck in a bad place. Maybe another school would have a health insurance plan you could join. Have you checked into state assistance? Anything that could help.
I wish you the best.
Tanzanite
Posted by wildcard11 on February 28, 2006, at 4:40:07
In reply to I hate my life, posted by med_empowered on February 27, 2006, at 23:19:54
first, you breathe...you're depressed so things look hopeless and that sucks, especially w/o the health ins..where you live can you get any health care assistance b/c you are a student, even if on a break? or is there a center w/ a sliding scale fee? i'll help in any way i can. so sorry things feel like crap right now...
Posted by Phillipa on February 28, 2006, at 19:10:18
In reply to Re: I hate my life, posted by wildcard11 on February 28, 2006, at 4:40:07
Med do you still have my E-mail address? Babblemail me and I'll give it to you again and I know Ed_UK would love to talk with you. Babblemail him too. I care about you and we're not far away. I will E-mail in a while Love Jan
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