Psycho-Babble Social Thread 613914

Shown: posts 1 to 18 of 18. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

Do some people not like me?

Posted by Deneb on February 27, 2006, at 18:17:29

It's my personality isn't it? :-(

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry if I hurt you in the past.

I swear in real life I'm really quiet and I don't speak my mind. I'm more the type to risk hypothermia if I'm cold because I'm too afraid to ask to head indoors.

I never lead in real life. I never speak up. I never talk about my emotions, except with my pdoc. I'm not scary or intimidating in real life. Here on the boards something happens to me, I get disinhibited.

Deneb

 

Re: Do some people not like me?

Posted by Deneb on February 27, 2006, at 18:25:03

In reply to Do some people not like me?, posted by Deneb on February 27, 2006, at 18:17:29

I don't not like anyone here, even if you've hurt me in the past. I never hold grudges. I forget things very easily. Oftentimes when my sister and I fight, I totally forget what we were fighting about even while my sister is still angry with me. I never stay angry for long. I'm tolerant of everyone.

I accept everyone here. I just hope that I'm accepted too. I know that may not be possible. There are many different kinds of people out there and some people hold grudges.

Deneb

 

Re: Do some people not like me?

Posted by Sobriquet Style on February 27, 2006, at 18:29:18

In reply to Re: Do some people not like me?, posted by Deneb on February 27, 2006, at 18:25:03

You're a great person Deneb

:-)

~

 

Thanks :-) (nm) » Sobriquet Style

Posted by Deneb on February 27, 2006, at 18:37:02

In reply to Re: Do some people not like me?, posted by Sobriquet Style on February 27, 2006, at 18:29:18

 

You're Welcome :-) (nm)

Posted by Sobriquet Style on February 27, 2006, at 18:38:04

In reply to Thanks :-) (nm) » Sobriquet Style, posted by Deneb on February 27, 2006, at 18:37:02

 

Re: Do some people not like me? » Deneb

Posted by JenStar on February 27, 2006, at 18:44:25

In reply to Do some people not like me?, posted by Deneb on February 27, 2006, at 18:17:29

Deneb,
Why would it matter if you act differently in real life? Since this is an internet board, it really only *matters* to the people here how you act HERE. This is the only way we know you (at least, most of us - I'm not sure if you communicate with some of the others IRL.)

But no, I don't dislike you. :) You're fun and interesting. I hope you keep posting here!

JenStar

 

Re: Do some people not like me?

Posted by Deneb on February 27, 2006, at 18:45:19

In reply to Re: Do some people not like me?, posted by Sobriquet Style on February 27, 2006, at 18:29:18

I'm slowly learning to be OK with people not liking me. People have the right to not like me. I can't force people to think certain ways.

I have to find ways to be happy despite some people not liking me. It is not my problem if someone doesn't like me.

Some people who may not like me will simply avoid talking to me. They won't say that they don't like me. I just have to be okay with that. There is nothing I can do if someone doesn't like me. I can only continue to try to be a good person the best way I can. That may not be good enough for some people and I just have to accept that.

Sometimes personalities just clash and I have to accept that as well. It doesn't mean that either of us has bad intentions, it's just how things work sometimes.

Deneb

 

Thanks JenStar :-) (nm) » JenStar

Posted by Deneb on February 27, 2006, at 18:47:06

In reply to Re: Do some people not like me? » Deneb, posted by JenStar on February 27, 2006, at 18:44:25

 

Re: Do some people not like me? » Deneb

Posted by JenStar on February 27, 2006, at 18:48:43

In reply to Do some people not like me?, posted by Deneb on February 27, 2006, at 18:17:29

Deneb,
You're one of my favorite posters, actually. :) I know I sometimes get frustrated at some of your posts, the ones when you seem despairing and unable to help yourself. But overall I think Babble is a lot more interesting when you're around. I hope you're doing well these days!

JenStar

 

Re: Do some people not like me? » Deneb

Posted by JenStar on February 27, 2006, at 18:50:28

In reply to Re: Do some people not like me?, posted by Deneb on February 27, 2006, at 18:45:19

Deneb,
I think it's not possible to make everyone happy all the time. It's OK if not everyone likes you...as long as the people you truly care about like you. (At least, that's how I feel!)

I'm sorry your family doesn't show a lot of affection. What would happen if YOU said "I love you" to your dad? Would he get embarrassed and brush it off, or would he say it back to you? I know in some cultures it's not considered "ok" to say "I love you." But maybe your Dad would like to hear it anyway?

JenStar

 

Re: Do some people not like me? » JenStar

Posted by Deneb on February 27, 2006, at 18:59:00

In reply to Re: Do some people not like me? » Deneb, posted by JenStar on February 27, 2006, at 18:50:28

Thanks JenStar!

I like reading your posts too. I put a lot of weight onto what you say. You seem very wise. ;-)

> I'm sorry your family doesn't show a lot of affection. What would happen if YOU said "I love you" to your dad? Would he get embarrassed and brush it off, or would he say it back to you? I know in some cultures it's not considered "ok" to say "I love you." But maybe your Dad would like to hear it anyway?

I think my Dad would get embarrassed and brush it off. He might laugh. It's OK. I know my parents love me. They show their love for me with actions like driving me places or cooking dinner.

Deneb

 

Re: Do some people not like me? » Deneb

Posted by TexasChic on February 27, 2006, at 19:16:25

In reply to Re: Do some people not like me?, posted by Deneb on February 27, 2006, at 18:45:19

> I'm slowly learning to be OK with people not liking me. People have the right to not like me. I can't force people to think certain ways.

You just said everything I was going to write in response to your first post.

I've had a big problem with being a people pleaser most of my life, so I know what it feels like to want EVERYBODY to like you. Of course that's not possible. You're only setting yourself up for failure with that mind frame. Its an important lesson to learn and it sounds like you're learning it way earlier in life than I did!

But babble is the place for reasurrance, so you should know I really like you. You're sweet and smart and care about people.

I've had my crazier times here and people still seem to accept me the way I am. The thing is, we all know what its like! We've been there to some extent or another or we wouldn't be here in the first place!

You're trying to improve yourself at a young age, and that's a really good thing. At your age I wasn't even close. But YOU are trying, which is more than alot of people out there who only care about themselves.

Keep up the good work. Try to concentrate on what YOU think of you rather than what everyone else thinks.

-T

 

Re: Do some people not like me? » TexasChic

Posted by Phillipa on February 27, 2006, at 20:24:55

In reply to Re: Do some people not like me? » Deneb, posted by TexasChic on February 27, 2006, at 19:16:25

Same here unfortunately for me I'm a people pleaser in real life. Fondly, Phillipa

 

Re: Do some people not like me?

Posted by Tanzanite on February 27, 2006, at 20:56:39

In reply to Do some people not like me?, posted by Deneb on February 27, 2006, at 18:17:29

Hi Deneb, I am new again here after a long long time. Just gonna say hi and give a virtual hug if that is ok. It is hard when people don't like you, it is one of the things I battle with also. I wish you the best.
Peace
Tanzanite

 

Re: Do some people not like me?

Posted by Johnny's Fav Girl on February 27, 2006, at 21:21:33

In reply to Re: Do some people not like me? » Deneb, posted by JenStar on February 27, 2006, at 18:44:25

No worries here Deneb. Ilike you just fine.

 

Re: Do some people not like me?

Posted by wanttobhappy on February 27, 2006, at 23:37:56

In reply to Re: Do some people not like me?, posted by Johnny's Fav Girl on February 27, 2006, at 21:21:33

Deneb,
I have never seen you post anything that would make me dislike you. I don't know you that well but you seem like a caring wonderful person. I like you :0)

Laura

 

Re: Do some people not like me?

Posted by Deneb on February 27, 2006, at 23:42:54

In reply to Re: Do some people not like me?, posted by wanttobhappy on February 27, 2006, at 23:37:56

Thanks everyone! You've all made my day. :-)

(((((((Sobriquet Style)))))))))
(((((((JenStar)))))))))
(((((((TexasChic)))))))
(((((((Phillipa)))))))
(((((((Tanzanite))))))
(((((((Johnny's Fav Girl)))))))
(((((((wanttobhappy))))))

Thanks!

Deneb

 

Re: Do some people not like me? » Deneb

Posted by Tamar on March 4, 2006, at 19:56:55

In reply to Re: Do some people not like me?, posted by Deneb on February 27, 2006, at 18:45:19

I’m late to this thread but I wanted to mention a couple of things:

1. I like you very much.

2. Most people are inclined to like most other people, unless they are quite distressed. So most people will like you, and if they don’t it is probably because of their own problems.

3. Sometimes you might meet people with whom you have no common experience. They might not like you much, but you probably wouldn’t like them much either. Sometimes it’s easier just to stay out of their way and hope they’ll stay out of your way.

4. Not being liked is not the same as not being good. If someone doesn’t like you it doesn’t mean they think you’re a bad person. It probably means they don’t really understand you. And maybe they don’t have the energy to try to understand you, because of their own issues. If someone doesn’t make an effort to understand you, it’s not because they think you’re a bad person. And it’s not because they’re a bad person.

I think you know all this. It’s pretty much the same as what you said… I’m not being very original!

But I guess there’s a difference between knowing it and feeling it.

I would suggest: rather than worrying about how or why people don’t like you, why don’t you think for a while about how to recognise when people *do* like you? How do people demonstrate that they like you? I could start with:
People reply to your posts here
People care about your mental state
People make an effort to communicate with you…

What else can you think of?

Tamar


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