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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 23 of 23. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dinah on February 20, 2006, at 0:09:44
On a chain under my outer clothing.
Is that weird or anything?
I don't wear much jewelry. My wedding and engagement rings, a happy family pendant, and I'm thinking of getting a fleur de lis pin. And Daddy's ring. Only things that mean something to me. I might also find a locket or something to put a bit of Bunty's hair into.
Posted by Deneb on February 20, 2006, at 0:16:52
In reply to I wear Daddy's wedding ring, posted by Dinah on February 20, 2006, at 0:09:44
I don't think it's weird Dinah. I think it's sweet.
Deneb
Posted by NikkiT2 on February 20, 2006, at 0:53:48
In reply to I wear Daddy's wedding ring, posted by Dinah on February 20, 2006, at 0:09:44
I wore my Dad wedding ring on the middle finger of my right hand from the night he died, until 2 weeks before my wedding when it went into the jewelers to be re-sized and become my husbands wedding ring..
so no, I don't think its wierd at all
Nikki x
Posted by Dinah on February 20, 2006, at 0:57:31
In reply to Re: I wear Daddy's wedding ring » Dinah, posted by Deneb on February 20, 2006, at 0:16:52
Thanks Deneb.
And welcome back.
Posted by Dinah on February 20, 2006, at 0:59:33
In reply to Re: I wear Daddy's wedding ring » Dinah, posted by NikkiT2 on February 20, 2006, at 0:53:48
That's a lovely story Nikki. :)
I'm embarassed to admit this but I can't wear my 6 foot three inch father's wedding band as a ring because my fingers are bigger than his were.
Blush.
I'm glad it's not weird. I haven't even admitted it to my husband yet, but maybe I will now.
Posted by All Done on February 20, 2006, at 1:10:37
In reply to I wear Daddy's wedding ring, posted by Dinah on February 20, 2006, at 0:09:44
Everyday, I wear my dad's wedding band on the middle finger of my right hand, as well. Someday, I'll give the ring to my son.
Posted by Glydin on February 20, 2006, at 6:35:50
In reply to I wear Daddy's wedding ring, posted by Dinah on February 20, 2006, at 0:09:44
I don't think it's weird or strange.
I had my Mother's engagement ring made into a pendant by a "real" jeweler with specific instructions on retaining it's original as close as possible. A beautiful job was done by her and it's what I always wear. Hubs nor me hasn't gotten any neck adorments for me for years as that's what I wear all the time.
It's a big comfort to me and you carry on in whatever feels right and important for you to do. There's not a thing wrong about that....
Blessings to you, Dinah
Posted by Sabrina0805 on February 20, 2006, at 9:08:35
In reply to I wear Daddy's wedding ring, posted by Dinah on February 20, 2006, at 0:09:44
I would be wearing my Dad's (only to his first marriage to my Mom though) except that he would not wear a ring.
I think it is very special.
Sabrina
Posted by lynn971 on February 20, 2006, at 11:02:08
In reply to I wear Daddy's wedding ring, posted by Dinah on February 20, 2006, at 0:09:44
I do not think that it is weird at all.
Have you ever thought of maybe putting a diomand on the band? Just a thought.
Posted by Dinah on February 20, 2006, at 12:34:22
In reply to Re: I wear Daddy's wedding ring, posted by lynn971 on February 20, 2006, at 11:02:08
I'm glad it's not weird, because it's oddly comforting. It's a big heavy ring, and somehow it fits how I remember him.
Posted by NikkiT2 on February 20, 2006, at 13:17:35
In reply to :-), posted by Dinah on February 20, 2006, at 12:34:22
And I suddenly realised that I wear my Mums on my little finger now (when she met her boyfriend she took it off, so I took it)
My wedding ring was my Grans, and before her it was my Great Grans.. But it had worn so thin it broke and can't be mended, so I am having that melted together with my Mums to make me a new ring, and having the years of all 4 wedding (great grans, grans, mums and mine) inscribed on the inside *s*
N x
Posted by Dinah on February 20, 2006, at 13:22:21
In reply to Re: :-) » Dinah, posted by NikkiT2 on February 20, 2006, at 13:17:35
Now that is extra beautiful. :)
I don't think I have much that goes beyond my parents' generation. Maybe a few things. It must be so special to have those links to the past.
Posted by NikkiT2 on February 20, 2006, at 15:52:14
In reply to Re: :-) » NikkiT2, posted by Dinah on February 20, 2006, at 13:22:21
OK, so I'm going off on a slight tangent..
You know I lost my Gran a few weeks ago.. well, each of the Grandchildren were told they could choose something from the house.. I asked for a small, brown earthenware jug that had been *her* grandmothers!! So, it had originally belonged to my Great-Great-Grandmothers.. My mum then suprised me with a very similar one that had been my great grandmothers, but on Granddads side..
Its amazing to think of how much those little jugs will have seen!!
nikki xx
Posted by Phillipa on February 20, 2006, at 19:30:13
In reply to Re: :-) » Dinah, posted by NikkiT2 on February 20, 2006, at 15:52:14
My first husband wore my Father's wedding band for 21yrs. Then my Son wore it. Now I keep it. And I have a diamond inheritated from one of my greaat great Aunts don't even know who's it is. Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by 10derHeart on February 20, 2006, at 23:39:56
In reply to I wear Daddy's wedding ring, posted by Dinah on February 20, 2006, at 0:09:44
I think it's lovely.
I wish I could. My mom's, too. Well, maybe just her diamond I would have liked to wear and pass on to my daughter. Maybe something like that would have helped me not forgot (block out?) everything surrounding her death 27 years back, except that I've apparently felt abandoned ever since....sheesh, I do digress at the drop of a hat (sorry)
But in both cases their wishes were that they be buried with the rings on.
Stupid and probably irrational and selfish, I know, but I realize I'm a bit mad about that. Or just jealous that others get to have those precious items? {shrug}
Dinah, are you worried your husband will not be okay with it?
Posted by Dinah on February 21, 2006, at 9:48:32
In reply to Re: I wear Daddy's wedding ring » Dinah, posted by 10derHeart on February 20, 2006, at 23:39:56
Well, I *was* worried. But after the wonderful supportive responses here, I decided to tell him.
And guess what. He's angry and thinks it's inappropriate. :(
Sigh.
It's a difficult decision I guess. I understand wanting to be buried with one's wedding ring as a symbol of eternal love, but I also understand wanting that tangible connection to someone we've lost. Or the sense of family that comes when things pass down several generations.
Posted by Damos on February 21, 2006, at 14:59:08
In reply to Re: I wear Daddy's wedding ring » 10derHeart, posted by Dinah on February 21, 2006, at 9:48:32
Hi Dinah,
I'm really sorry hubby reacted the way he did, really sorry. Got to agree with everyone else that it doesn't seem the least bit weird or inappropriate. Just sweet and nice and perfectly understandable.
When connections are hard little things can matter a lot. Hope hubby can come to see how much these things mean to you.
(((((Dinah)))))
Posted by Dinah on February 21, 2006, at 18:36:29
In reply to Re: I wear Daddy's wedding ring » Dinah, posted by Damos on February 21, 2006, at 14:59:08
It wasn't really too surprising. I guess that's why I hadn't told him. It's not something he'd ever consider doing.
I haven't decided yet whether to stop doing it.
Posted by NikkiT2 on February 22, 2006, at 0:54:16
In reply to Re: I wear Daddy's wedding ring » Damos, posted by Dinah on February 21, 2006, at 18:36:29
Have you told him that others have done similar?
Are there other things that are maybe causing him concern and this was just "the final straw" kindof thing?
I know my family encouraged me to wear dads ring.. but alot of that was the fact I was still pretty much a kid (I was just 22 and only just beginning to grow up), and wasn't expressing grief in any real shape or form.. I was really supressing it badly..
If it makes YOU feel better, then continue doing it
Nikki
Posted by Dinah on February 22, 2006, at 9:37:09
In reply to Re: I wear Daddy's wedding ring » Dinah, posted by NikkiT2 on February 22, 2006, at 0:54:16
I told him.
It just made him think lots of people were doing something inappropriate. :)
I'm still mulling it over, and may ask my therapist what he thinks.
I shouldn't have told him.
Posted by Deneb on February 23, 2006, at 0:07:38
In reply to Re: I wear Daddy's wedding ring » NikkiT2, posted by Dinah on February 22, 2006, at 9:37:09
Sorry about your husband not approving your wearing the ring.
((((((Dinah)))))))
He should support the things you do that make you happy.
Deneb
Posted by NikkiT2 on February 27, 2006, at 13:05:59
In reply to Re: I wear Daddy's wedding ring » NikkiT2, posted by Dinah on February 22, 2006, at 9:37:09
Sorry to take so long to get back to you...
I spoke to colleagues about this (professional people.. my boss is a Dr and shortly will be professor)..
They all agree it is *perfectly* normal.. and infact, commented it is quite healthy. It would worse, and much mor inappropriate if yuo were in denial about it, or talking about you Dad as if he were still here.
Momento's are so completely normal.. we ALL do it. How is any different from me wearing the pendent I inherited from my Gran who died a few weeks ago?
In this case, I think its your husband with the *issues* and no way is it you
Nikki xx
Posted by Dinah on February 27, 2006, at 15:54:40
In reply to Re: I wear Daddy's wedding ring » Dinah, posted by NikkiT2 on February 27, 2006, at 13:05:59
Thanks Nikki. :)
I didn't get around to talking about it with my therapist, but I suppose I should mention it to my husband at an appropriate moment.
This is the end of the thread.
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