Psycho-Babble Social Thread 601614

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Re: How many people are not where » James K

Posted by wildcard11 on January 21, 2006, at 20:35:11

In reply to Re: How many people are not where, posted by James K on January 21, 2006, at 20:33:37

That sounds like a wonderful place to be...

 

I never got this far

Posted by ClearSkies on January 21, 2006, at 20:35:12

In reply to How many people are not where, posted by wildcard11 on January 21, 2006, at 20:21:58

in my plans for the future. I'm 43 and when I was 29 I never would have thought that I'd be unemployed and feeling so ill by now. I thought that my mental health was something I'd have for life. Granted, turning 29 was followed by deportation and then divorce... hmm maybe that has something to do with it?
I could not imagine the turns, downs and ups, that my life would take so far. I figured by my age I would have
a college degree
maybe kids (though I haven't wanted them, I thought they would just come along by themselves)
a career of some sort

Now I think that numbers 1 and 3 are still feasible. I am a late starter I guess.

 

Re: I never got this far

Posted by Phillipa on January 21, 2006, at 20:59:02

In reply to I never got this far, posted by ClearSkies on January 21, 2006, at 20:35:12

Well I exceeded my wildest dreams. I never even thought I would work after I was married for the first time. But I put together an Aerobics Dance business, raised three kids on my own even though I was married I did it by myself and then went to nursing school at the same time while also going through a divorce. I graduated magna cum Laude. Worked and moved to VA Beach and everything was wonderful. Owned my own house, boat new car, lawn service new furniture. Then my thyroid went and with it my mental health. Now I haven't worked in 8 and a half years and want to again. But darn the mental health stuff!!!! Fondly, Phillipa

 

Re: How many people are not where

Posted by lynn971 on January 21, 2006, at 21:12:38

In reply to How many people are not where, posted by wildcard11 on January 21, 2006, at 20:21:58

Did you ever hear the song, "1985?" My daughter has it. It says, "She was suppose to be an actress and be on WhiteSnake's car. Now One prozac a day." lol

I love that song. It is so me. Except prozac doesnt work for me anymore.lol

I really did want to be an actress, but now I am just glad that I got out of that hell hole that I was living in as a child. I really do love teaching. I would have never guessed that I would have become a teacher. I am now glad that I did.

I wont get rich of course. Unless someone offers my husband one million dollars to sleep with me

That is ok thoug because I am too tired to have sex.

 

Re: How many people are not where

Posted by Dinah on January 21, 2006, at 22:22:58

In reply to How many people are not where, posted by wildcard11 on January 21, 2006, at 20:21:58

I am precisely where I wanted to be. There is an odd irony in that.

Except that I'm a scr*wup. I used to be so smart. I used to be so good. I used to be so disciplined. I'm sure not making "A"'s now. I want to be the me I used to be. If I could do it then, I should be able to do it now. I detest myself for not being who I used to be.

 

Re: How many people are not where » Dinah

Posted by Phillipa on January 21, 2006, at 22:27:33

In reply to Re: How many people are not where, posted by Dinah on January 21, 2006, at 22:22:58

Dinah I feel the same way. Fondly, Phillipa

 

Re: Dinah Phillipa

Posted by lynn971 on January 21, 2006, at 22:33:06

In reply to Re: How many people are not where » Dinah, posted by Phillipa on January 21, 2006, at 22:27:33

Don't be so hard on yourselves. There are lots of things that I am not as good at anymore, but there are lots of things that I am better at now. I am sure that the same holds true for you guys.

Love you,
Lynn

 

Lynn » lynn971

Posted by Dinah on January 21, 2006, at 22:46:15

In reply to Re: Dinah Phillipa, posted by lynn971 on January 21, 2006, at 22:33:06

Thank you.

I didn't mean to be so negative. My OCD is acting up a bit.

 

Re: How many people are not where

Posted by sleepygirl on January 21, 2006, at 23:00:28

In reply to How many people are not where, posted by wildcard11 on January 21, 2006, at 20:21:58

absolutely not where I think I "should" be, but for a long time I couldn't imagine living this long

 

Re: How many people are not where

Posted by gee on January 22, 2006, at 10:48:30

In reply to Re: How many people are not where, posted by sleepygirl on January 21, 2006, at 23:00:28

I'm not sure where I was planning on being, but it certainly wasn't here. I guess I was planning on being out East, going to uni there instead of here. I think I thought I'd be in sciences instead of arts. I never thought I'd be turning 20 in a couple days and at the very beginning of my career

 

Re: How many people are not where » Dinah

Posted by James K on January 22, 2006, at 11:41:06

In reply to Re: How many people are not where, posted by Dinah on January 21, 2006, at 22:22:58

I want to be the me I used to be. If I could do it then, I should be able to do it now. I detest myself for not being who I used to be.

---In the short term, I'm sorry I'm not where I was 2 years ago. In the long term I never had a dream or an expectation that seemed reasonable. I assumed I'd die after highschool was over. A small few people realized I was special and took me on or took me in. They're the reason I have to try now. These not good days I've been having are no different than all the others along the way.
There is an idea, that a man can wake up refreshed, tackle a challenge with competence and confidence, work til he's tired, come home and enjoy his place and himself and his loved ones. That's the idea that is all I ever wanted and didn't even know was possible. I've come close sometimes.

James K

 

Re: How many people are not where

Posted by wildcard11 on January 22, 2006, at 12:39:02

In reply to How many people are not where, posted by wildcard11 on January 21, 2006, at 20:21:58

I know that i should be grateful for the things i have and i am. I just thought i would have accomplished more. At 24 i had a great job making enough money to support myself and my son, my own place and going to school at night to get my degree. I had friends and played sports and after the rape, my entire life went downhill and i have not been able to get it back together 5 years later. I am with someone that i am not IN love with (he knows this), or maybe it is b/c i don't love myself. I feel so trapped. We have a 1 year old together and against all odds and precautions, i am pregnant. Please don't down me b/c i keep screwing up~i do enough of that. I just overcame so much as a kid and knew i would 'make it' but at 29 i am too damn scared to go outside or even answer my phone. How pathetic is that....However, i am taking steps to make things better but I'm just really down b/c i feel like a failure...one of those days.

 

Re: How many people are not where » wildcard11

Posted by lynn971 on January 22, 2006, at 13:48:53

In reply to Re: How many people are not where, posted by wildcard11 on January 22, 2006, at 12:39:02

Wildcard,

You have a lot to be proud of. I don't think that I could be as independent as you. You have had such a tough background. Raising children is the most important task one has. It comes above everything else. You do a wonderful job of raising kids. You might not be "In Love" with the guy you are with, but a baby is still a precious gift. There is nothing more precious. I believe that you will overcome the setbacks from the rape. It may take a little time. With everything you have overcome as a child, I am fully confident that you will overcome this too.

You will be able to walk outside your house and answer the phone. You have endured hard things and you overcame in the past.

You are not a failure. To those littles ones of yours, you are a hero. I have never been on my own. I went from my mom's house to my husband's house. I got married at 17. It was prob. to escape my home. I do not know if I would be able to easily live on my own if I had to. YOu do that. I see you as an independent person.

My one true goal in life is that I am the wife, mother, person that God wants for me to be. If He wants me to dig ditches, then I want to be the best ditch digger there is, because I know that being where He wants for me to be is the only place for me to find contentment.

I want my children to one day say that I was a great mom. That is true success. Not winning an Emmy or any other "great" achievement. It is the simple things in life that are usually the most important.

Oh, and by the way, I do not think that you are a failure or that you keep messing up.

Love ya,
Lynn

 

Big tears (nm) » lynn971

Posted by wildcard11 on January 22, 2006, at 14:07:01

In reply to Re: How many people are not where » wildcard11, posted by lynn971 on January 22, 2006, at 13:48:53

 

Re: OMG... I am not looking for sex.

Posted by lynn971 on January 22, 2006, at 18:58:48

In reply to Re: How many people are not where, posted by lynn971 on January 21, 2006, at 21:12:38

I just read the above post. I don't want anyone to think that I am looking for a million dollars for sex.

I was just making a sarcastic remark in regards to my post entitled "million dollar question"

 

I didn't take it like that at all..I got the point (nm) » lynn971

Posted by wildcard11 on January 22, 2006, at 19:04:13

In reply to Re: OMG... I am not looking for sex., posted by lynn971 on January 22, 2006, at 18:58:48

 

Re: OMG... I am not looking for sex.

Posted by TexasChic on January 22, 2006, at 20:53:54

In reply to Re: OMG... I am not looking for sex., posted by lynn971 on January 22, 2006, at 18:58:48

It just made me laugh. I think it was apparent you were joking and not soliciting or anything.

As to the main question, like a few others, I never thought I would be alive this long.

There's alot of stuff I think I should be doing or that I wish I was doing, like having a relationship, children, a degree, a satisfying career (rather than just a job), maintaining friendships, not being it complete and total debt, being in shape.

But when I think of where I started, I know I've come a lon-n-n-ng way. I have a job I don't hate, I have my depression under control, I have my own apartment and am taking care of myself (maybe not well, but I'm still alive and not living in a box), I have the confidence to try new things, and I feel more in control of myself and my own destiny than ever before in my life.

I could dwell on the things I'm not, and sometimes I do, but what does that accomplish? I've come to believe over the years that negativity breeds negativity. So I try to stay positive. I don't always succeed of course, but by trying I will succeed more often than if I didn't try at all.

I still have a ways to go before I am the person I want to be, but at least I'm going in the right direction, albeit slowly.

-T

 

Re: OMG... I AM looking for sex.

Posted by TexasChic on January 22, 2006, at 20:58:19

In reply to Re: OMG... I am not looking for sex., posted by TexasChic on January 22, 2006, at 20:53:54

I don't want anyone to think that I'm not looking for sex.

-T

 

Re: OMG... I AM looking for sex. » TexasChic

Posted by lynn971 on January 22, 2006, at 21:11:47

In reply to Re: OMG... I AM looking for sex., posted by TexasChic on January 22, 2006, at 20:58:19

lol. That is too funny.

Thanks for the reassurance. It sounds like you are doing well

Your friend
Lynn

 

So am I!!!!!!!!! ROFLOL!!!!!!! (nm) » lynn971

Posted by crazy teresa on January 22, 2006, at 21:18:02

In reply to Re: OMG... I AM looking for sex. » TexasChic, posted by lynn971 on January 22, 2006, at 21:11:47

 

Re: How many people are not where

Posted by caraher on January 22, 2006, at 22:21:01

In reply to How many people are not where, posted by wildcard11 on January 21, 2006, at 20:21:58

I think everyone has disappointments. Am I where I thought I would be at age 41? Well, according to my expectations at age 16, no. According to my expectations at age 30... I don't know. Close enough, I guess.

But what I want to say is... don't be a prisoner of your past expectations. You are where you are, and what matters is what you decide to do today from wherever that point is.

 

me me me!!! » wildcard11

Posted by LegWarmers on January 23, 2006, at 0:00:40

In reply to How many people are not where, posted by wildcard11 on January 21, 2006, at 20:21:58

but when I think about what I expected Id be doing at this stage ....I must have thought I was super women or someone other then LegWarmers!!

 

lmao!!!! (nm) » TexasChic

Posted by wildcard11 on January 23, 2006, at 2:47:30

In reply to Re: OMG... I AM looking for sex., posted by TexasChic on January 22, 2006, at 20:58:19

 

Re: How many people are not where » caraher

Posted by wildcard11 on January 23, 2006, at 2:57:49

In reply to Re: How many people are not where, posted by caraher on January 22, 2006, at 22:21:01

>>>You are where you are, and what matters is what you decide to do today from wherever that point is.

i know....thx

 

;-) (nm) » LegWarmers

Posted by wildcard11 on January 23, 2006, at 3:00:23

In reply to me me me!!! » wildcard11, posted by LegWarmers on January 23, 2006, at 0:00:40


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