Psycho-Babble Social Thread 490976

Shown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

Curse

Posted by Toph on April 28, 2005, at 14:38:35

Like me, do you ever wonder if you have a mental illness because...
-some evil or benevolent force wants you to suffer,
-you are being punished for your sins,
-your faith is being challenged in a sort of Job-like way,
-that there is a plan for your life that only your condition prepares you for,
-that some accidental injury happened in the womb or something harmful was ingested or a physical trauma caused a brain injury resulting in your condition, or
-for no particular reason at all, you just happened to be born with a genetic, neurological or biochemical predisposition to the illness that you later developed?

This is not necessarily a faith question (I gave up blaming my parents and God a long time ago), though it includes issues of one's beliefs, rather it is just something I wonder about a lot, especially when I feel sorry for myself and I begin to think that life is horribly unfair.

 

Re: Curse » Toph

Posted by Damos on April 28, 2005, at 16:32:21

In reply to Curse, posted by Toph on April 28, 2005, at 14:38:35

Hey Tophmeister,

Yup, all of the above but not so much any more - which has got to be good, right? But I'd be lying if I said that there weren't still days when I scream out, "Just tell me okay, I'm sick and tired of trying to work it out."

Take care mate, the lamingtons are in the cyber-post with a couple of ice-cold Victoria Bitters.

 

Re: Curse

Posted by Toph on April 28, 2005, at 17:00:35

In reply to Re: Curse » Toph, posted by Damos on April 28, 2005, at 16:32:21

If I'm the Tophmeister then you must be the Damonator.

Just sitting on the pity pot thinking that life sucks sometimes. I suppose if I weren't sick then I would be wondering why I wasn't smarter or some such thing. Maybe if we popped a few Bitters I wouldn't give a damn.

What is a lamington anyway? Google brought up this frog from Lamington National Park.
http://lamington.nrsm.uq.edu.au/Documents/Rept/greentreefrog.htm
I suppose it might be tasty. They say it's a little like chicken.

 

Re: Curse » Toph

Posted by Damos on April 28, 2005, at 18:09:32

In reply to Re: Curse, posted by Toph on April 28, 2005, at 17:00:35

Maaate there aint much in life that can't be improved by the addition of a couple of Veebs. At the very least it can't hurt so I'll pull up me esky and we can settle in for the duration, or at least until the urge for a meat pie or kebab takes over. Coupla p*ss pots on their pity pots what a fine picture that's be. Gotta warn you though that I am the worlds cheapest drunk. Shhh, don't tell anyone, but I've never actually been drunk. Quit it, don't laugh so damn loud everyone will hear. Yeah good onya mate now everyone knows, thanks heaps you're a bloody legend.

Lamingtons, well if memory serves me correct are sponge cake coated in chocolate and coconut - never understood the attraction meself, avta ava a butchers and see if I can find a link.

Hang in there champ

 

Re: Curse

Posted by sunny10 on April 29, 2005, at 9:09:16

In reply to Re: Curse » Toph, posted by Damos on April 28, 2005, at 18:09:32

I prefer to think of the whole depression disease as "why can't I just get a lobotomy so I don't have to think anymore!?!"

It is, by its very nature, a disease of over-thinking, in my opinion. So, of COURSE those thoughts have slipped through my head..

Those and about a million others...

But then when I am off the p*sspot, I try to remind myself that I have all of my limbs, my sight, my hearing, my vision (mostly with contact lenses, but STILL!), no terminal illness (other than suicidal tendencies, that is), a roof over my head, and food to eat. So if I can curb those tendencies, I am doing pretty darned ok in the scheme of things...

I mean, as far as the "why me?" goes, I could have turned out differently, yes, but maybe differently could have been worse...

And, thank goodness, I am not addicted to alcohol, so pass one of those Veebs, would ya?!?

 

Re: Curse

Posted by AuntieMel on April 29, 2005, at 9:36:11

In reply to Curse, posted by Toph on April 28, 2005, at 14:38:35

I don't think it's a 'test' or something I deserve. For me it's a combo:

"-for no particular reason at all, you just happened to be born with a genetic, neurological or biochemical predisposition to the illness that you later developed?"

actually my mum had it bad, so I guess I know where the genetics came from.

and add to that:

"-some evil or benevolent force wants you to suffer,"

an evil, emotionally cruel parent. hmmm - maybe that's why mum had it bad, too. She was marrie to the jerk.

 

Re: Family Curses (rambling) » AuntieMel

Posted by Susan47 on April 29, 2005, at 11:50:41

In reply to Re: Curse, posted by AuntieMel on April 29, 2005, at 9:36:11

I am trying so, so hard with my three kids. Because knowing, finally now, that my family was deeply disturbed .. agh. Man I always thought it was just me, and closer inspection finally reveals ah-hah, it's a long lineup, baby. I come from a badly war-torn (and most of us do, I think, in the end) country. And we're first generation Canadians, I wasn't born here. I never knew any relations, growing up, except in the sense that grandparents came to visit, they were pleasant strangers, I couldn't communicate for want of knowing the language well enough. I don't know my relations well at all, it's very weird. I can't imagine having what my children have, which is cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents.
I have to face the facts that I'll probably never know my family. There's no family history that I'm aware of, to draw upon. It's like coming from nowhere, it really is. It's like I was born on a planet unto myself. My parents were so badly stressed (my dad came to Canada with something like a few dollars to his name, two kids under 3, a pregnant wife, and no job, only his skill) .. so that plus the fact that they're both severely traumatized their entire lives, mental illness not even a consideration in all of this because of having to struggle just to live ... so yeah, I don't know how many millions of people have had to deal with stuff like this but it's wonderful that we get to find out, we get to know ourselves, this country is so FREE in that sense.
I don't know how many people will understand what I'm saying, but I'm guessing quite a few. People who've lived in this country all their lives, who have relations going back even one or two generations, are so incredibly blessed, they just don't understand how blessed they are, to at least have that much. No matter how bad it is, I can't imagine it being worse than not knowing where you come from .. and I'll bet there're tons of people who come from a very bad history .. just knowing that history, though, is a blessing in disguise, because Then You Can Work On Changing It.
I tried to tell my ex-therapist, Mr. Poor Termination, about this .. he looked at me blankly.
It's frustrating to be judged without being understood.

 

Re: Curse » sunny10

Posted by Toph on April 29, 2005, at 12:51:11

In reply to Re: Curse, posted by sunny10 on April 29, 2005, at 9:09:16

Mostly, sunny, I accept my illness. But I hate it when I'm pissy and my wife asks if I took my meds - like I can't get agitated like everyone else? Or I hate worrying if my kids are going to get it. Or worrying if when I get old my meds won't work anymore. Or if my kidneys or thyroid will shrivel up and stop working. And, hell, I hate it that if I didn't take my medication I would end up strapped to a table in some God foresaken hospital somewhere. Other than that, I'm fine with it.

 

Re: Curse » AuntieMel

Posted by Toph on April 29, 2005, at 13:23:45

In reply to Re: Curse, posted by AuntieMel on April 29, 2005, at 9:36:11

My parents were OK parents as far as I know, Mel, so I don't blame them except for my neuroses, of course. As for genetics, I know of no near or distant relative that has BP I or even BP II for that matter. I took acid in college in 1971 and instantly became manic for about 4 months. Several shrinks have told me that while LSD can trigger a manic episode, I would have to have a predisposition to the illness. I still wonder if I had not tripped whether I would have become bipolar. It kind of pisses me off that lots of other people did even more stupid stuff when they we young than I and they don't have to be medicated. But then we get back to life being unfair and all.

 

Re: Curse

Posted by Susan47 on April 29, 2005, at 22:48:16

In reply to Re: Curse » sunny10, posted by Toph on April 29, 2005, at 12:51:11

Toph don't read this, you're not allowed. Because it's my stuff but I'm using what you said.

The worst was always when my ex- said stuff about my mental state. He insulted my intelligence as well. As though I didn't have any because I was emotionally wrecked. As though everything bad that ever happened between us was something that was all my fault, all my problem, the reason for all of his problems, because he didn't want to understand .. what? What is there not to understand? Just because I don't understand myself, is that a reason to throw all this Hate at me? And once it starts, that kind of talk, that "Have you taken your meds today" stuff, once that starts it's the beginning of the slide, to not knowing whether you're trusted, or not.
It's a form of hatred being bestowed, and there's no way of stopping it. Because there's no one so vulnerable as a person who really DOES NOT have it together, who IS emotionally scarred ... doing that to someone who is mentally suffering is absolute garbage. There is no place for that in a loving relationship.

 

Re: Curse » Susan47

Posted by AuntieMel on May 2, 2005, at 12:54:43

In reply to Re: Curse, posted by Susan47 on April 29, 2005, at 22:48:16

Susan - my guess is he threw all that at you because it was convenient. It's so much easier to have something to blame than it is to actually look inside and see if part of the problem lies within.

And some people can only feel like they are superior - or even just ok - if they make others seem and feel smaller.

I sure don't blame you for having residual issues about this. My father was the same way - and I had a boss that was that way, too, and heaven knows I still have issues of my own.


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