Psycho-Babble Social Thread 427608

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question about married men

Posted by Gabbix2 on December 11, 2004, at 0:47:18

Maybe this belongs on the relationship board?


I've been to a couple of Mood disorders group meetings, and I met this guy I'll call Dan, he's married with a couple of kids, we talked a bit we have the same Dx, I know he finds me attractive, he's complimented my new hair cut, told me I reminded him of a certain movie star, but other than that, it's been very casual. I'm not attracted to him because I don't date married men.

We've emailed a couple of times and he's mentioned going out for coffee, but there's nothing even remotely flirtatious in the e-mails, however I hadn't written in the last while and because I don't have a phone he actually must have looked up my Dad's phone number and called and left a message with my dad.
That seemed a bit weird to me, or perhaps he was worried I don't know..

Can a married guy ask a single woman out for coffee just as friends? Is it likely?

 

Re: question about married men Gabbix2

Posted by AdaGrace on December 11, 2004, at 0:53:19

In reply to question about married men, posted by Gabbix2 on December 11, 2004, at 0:47:18

Calling your Dad's house........hmmm does seem a tad strange.

Perhaps you could go to coffee with him and just explain that you enjoy his company and hope you are not stepping on toes....but you don't date married men.......

Maybe he just wants a friend?

 

Re: question about married men Gabbix2

Posted by Fallen4MyT on December 11, 2004, at 1:06:51

In reply to question about married men, posted by Gabbix2 on December 11, 2004, at 0:47:18

I have been out with men as friend and I am married so I imagine it is cool...but ..did he leave a number? If just a friend seems to me you could call the house.....meet in public and say just lets keep this friends the calling of dad seems kind of out of order he could have just emailed you again but ???

> Maybe this belongs on the relationship board?
>
>
> I've been to a couple of Mood disorders group meetings, and I met this guy I'll call Dan, he's married with a couple of kids, we talked a bit we have the same Dx, I know he finds me attractive, he's complimented my new hair cut, told me I reminded him of a certain movie star, but other than that, it's been very casual. I'm not attracted to him because I don't date married men.
>
> We've emailed a couple of times and he's mentioned going out for coffee, but there's nothing even remotely flirtatious in the e-mails, however I hadn't written in the last while and because I don't have a phone he actually must have looked up my Dad's phone number and called and left a message with my dad.
> That seemed a bit weird to me, or perhaps he was worried I don't know..
>
> Can a married guy ask a single woman out for coffee just as friends? Is it likely?
>
>
>
>

 

Re: question about married men Gabbix2

Posted by Dinah on December 11, 2004, at 1:47:17

In reply to question about married men, posted by Gabbix2 on December 11, 2004, at 0:47:18

How about suggesting that he bring his wife? I know I've run into trouble with my best friend's wife even though we had known each other forever. A wife might look askance at a one on one meeting, however her husband intended it, unless she was also included. I don't mind my husband having tons of female friends. But I do sort of want them to feel free to be open about the friendship with me if they're going to be meeting him tete a tete.

 

Re: question about married men

Posted by anastasia56 on December 11, 2004, at 11:12:22

In reply to question about married men, posted by Gabbix2 on December 11, 2004, at 0:47:18

no.

not in my experience anyway. You may not think of him that way but odds are he does.

 

Re: question about married men

Posted by Gabbix2 on December 11, 2004, at 14:18:44

In reply to Re: question about married men, posted by anastasia56 on December 11, 2004, at 11:12:22

I think I'm going to just let him go. The fact that he looked up my last name to call my dad is a little worriesome to me, especially because in our last e-mail I had been fine, and we hadn't been writing even semi-regularly so he had no cause to worry.

Thanks for your advice everyone.

 

Gabbix2 now for my silly question

Posted by Jai Narayan on December 11, 2004, at 16:11:00

In reply to Re: question about married men, posted by Gabbix2 on December 11, 2004, at 14:18:44

Alright, which movie star? I must know.

As a young woman I looked like Grace Slick.
Now I look like Al Pacino..
you may ask yourself what happened to me?
I do.
So Gabbix2 who do you look like (other than yourself)?
jAi

 

Re: Gabbix2 now for my silly question Jai Narayan

Posted by Gabbix2 on December 11, 2004, at 16:34:25

In reply to Gabbix2 now for my silly question, posted by Jai Narayan on December 11, 2004, at 16:11:00

> Now I look like Al Pacino..
> you may ask yourself what happened to me?
> I do.

Well My girlfriend Anne Marie blames a similar incident on her husband..

> So Gabbix2 who do you look like (other than yourself)?

I think I look like a muppet, but I'm a little shy to say what he said, so how about I just send you a picture okay?


 

Re: question about married men Gabbix2

Posted by Tabitha on December 11, 2004, at 16:39:25

In reply to question about married men, posted by Gabbix2 on December 11, 2004, at 0:47:18


> Can a married guy ask a single woman out for coffee just as friends? Is it likely?
>
>

Nope. He's hitting on you.

 

Re: question about married men Tabitha

Posted by Gabbix2 on December 11, 2004, at 16:51:52

In reply to Re: question about married men Gabbix2, posted by Tabitha on December 11, 2004, at 16:39:25

Thanks, Tabitha, Anastasia, that's my suspicion, I guess what I wanted was validation. It's just too strange, I mean I'm sure there were men at the group with a similar dx to his, and the conversations we had really weren't that intense.

 

Re: Men don't have women friends...

Posted by Phil on December 11, 2004, at 17:13:35

In reply to Re: question about married men Tabitha, posted by Gabbix2 on December 11, 2004, at 16:51:52

Just women they haven't had sex with, yet.
Sad but very often true. I forget the author-maybe Chris Rock?

Guess I'll see y'all when my block is over.

 

Re: Men don't have women friends... Phil

Posted by Gabbix2 on December 11, 2004, at 17:33:42

In reply to Re: Men don't have women friends..., posted by Phil on December 11, 2004, at 17:13:35

Thank you Phil, I was kind of hoping I'd hear from a man on this topic. I'm sure there are exceptions, but in this case, it just seems fishy.

 

Re: Men don't have women friends...

Posted by Phil on December 11, 2004, at 18:45:45

In reply to Re: Men don't have women friends... Phil, posted by Gabbix2 on December 11, 2004, at 17:33:42

Calling your dad sends an ominous sign of having trouble postponing gratification and also, risk taking. I'd call that obsessive. I think in terms of cheaters / not cheaters. There can't be a gray area. If he cheated with you, would he not cheat with another. Of course, he's a cheater. The dance he knows well.

Okay, I'm finished rambling...

 

Re: Men don't have women friends... Phil

Posted by Gabbix2 on December 11, 2004, at 19:05:57

In reply to Re: Men don't have women friends..., posted by Phil on December 11, 2004, at 18:45:45

> Calling your dad sends an ominous sign of having trouble postponing gratification and also, risk taking. I'd call that obsessive.

Yes, I thought that was strange, he knew I didn't have a phone, so it's not like he was looking up my number, also he got my e-mail from someone else as well.

I think in terms of cheaters / not cheaters. There can't be a gray area. If he cheated with you, would he not cheat with another. Of course, he's a cheater.

Well that's not a problem, cause I never date men who are involved with another woman, *ever*
I'm to much of a woman's woman for that. (No judgement intended toward anyone who may be in that situation at all! I know how easy it must be for that to happen)

Thanks for your guy-ly advice Phil. It's much appreciated, and also just good to see you around these parts again. Nice hat, it looks good on you!

 

Re: Gabbix2 now for my silly question

Posted by Jai Narayan on December 11, 2004, at 19:47:11

In reply to Re: Gabbix2 now for my silly question Jai Narayan, posted by Gabbix2 on December 11, 2004, at 16:34:25

that is so sweet, I was just listening to a muppet song about rainbows. I love the muppets.
do you look like miss piggy....I would be so envious
Jai

 

Phil, what what why? are you blocked???? (nm)

Posted by Jai Narayan on December 11, 2004, at 19:49:48

In reply to Re: Men don't have women friends..., posted by Phil on December 11, 2004, at 17:13:35

 

Re: Men don't have women friends... Gabbix2

Posted by Phil on December 11, 2004, at 20:02:16

In reply to Re: Men don't have women friends... Phil, posted by Gabbix2 on December 11, 2004, at 19:05:57

Well, we have to cover the gray sometimes, you know?

Actually, I had a hideous affair 3 or so years ago. Most painful time of my life after hemmorhoid surgery. Come to think of it, the vasectomy was no picnic either. Measles nearly killed me and vomiting on my girlfriend at her 18th birthday party was grim. 'specially cause I'm 51 and should kave known when to stop the Tequila. Her dad, who I call son, wasn't a bit amused.
Vasectomy reversal was extremely debilitating.
She decides we should go horseback riding the day after. I was on so much Vicoden that I hit my head on a huge tree limb at full gallop and felt no different. Kind of like being hit with two hammers, you know?
I'm so sorry I strayed off topic.

 

Re: Gabbix2 now for my silly question Jai Narayan

Posted by Gabbix2 on December 11, 2004, at 20:07:39

In reply to Re: Gabbix2 now for my silly question, posted by Jai Narayan on December 11, 2004, at 19:47:11

> that is so sweet, I was just listening to a muppet song about rainbows. I love the muppets.
> do you look like miss piggy....I would be so envious
> Jai

Oh I love the Rainbow connection!

I used to sing that to a mean mean cat I adopted because no one else would take him, NO ONE else.
He was such a bruiser, built like a truck. I called him Bugsy. It took a month of ever so carefully getting near him, and singing to him before I could touch him without having him attack me, eventually he let me pet him, but if something made noise in the background he'd instantly launch into attack mode. One time I had a friend over, and I was at this point fairly comfortable with Bugsy, and was leaning over him nuzzling him, and my friend made the mistake of patting him as well and Bugsy latched onto my nose with his teeth, and the sides of my head with all four paws, it *hurt* but it was such an absurd situation that I was laughing the whole time I was trying to get him off me, which only made him all the more vicious. What was I saying?
Oh yes, he loved the Rainbow Connection, only that song. My sisters boyfriend used to snort and say, "oh sure only that ONE song" One time though, Bugsy was hiding under the couch and the song came on television, and he came out to listen to it, and went back under the couch after. He was also proof that Bach flower remedies work, he was a changed kitty after only a few days of one of them, I've forgotten which one we used now, the one for fears I think it's rock rose.

Gosh I'm chatty today.

Well I'm sort of glam like Miss Piggy I guess, but our noses are a bit different : )

 

Those Pesky Grays, Gonads and Girlfriends Phil

Posted by Gabbix2 on December 11, 2004, at 20:16:55

In reply to Re: Men don't have women friends... Gabbix2, posted by Phil on December 11, 2004, at 20:02:16

> Well, we have to cover the gray sometimes, you know?
>
> Actually, I had a hideous affair 3 or so years ago. Most painful time of my life after hemmorhoid surgery. Come to think of it, the vasectomy was no picnic either. Measles nearly killed me and vomiting on my girlfriend at her 18th birthday party was grim. 'specially cause I'm 51 and should kave known when to stop the Tequila. Her dad, who I call son, wasn't a bit amused.
> Vasectomy reversal was extremely debilitating.
> She decides we should go horseback riding the day after. I was on so much Vicoden that I hit my head on a huge tree limb at full gallop and felt no different. Kind of like being hit with two hammers, you know?
> I'm so sorry I strayed off topic.

I think it's just so good to read a Phil post
that you have an open invitation to hijack any thread I start and let your mind wander at will. : )

 

Re: question about married men

Posted by Susan47 on December 11, 2004, at 21:26:19

In reply to question about married men, posted by Gabbix2 on December 11, 2004, at 0:47:18

No. It isn't likely, at all at all.

 

Re: Men don't have women friends...

Posted by Susan47 on December 11, 2004, at 21:28:22

In reply to Re: Men don't have women friends... Gabbix2, posted by Phil on December 11, 2004, at 20:02:16

Oh, Phil. Phil Phil Phil Phil.\

Susan, who's been keeping herself happy with whiskey and a tich of Feeney's on ice. With cream, of course.

 

Phil can't be blocked

Posted by Susan47 on December 11, 2004, at 21:39:00

In reply to Re: Men don't have women friends..., posted by Susan47 on December 11, 2004, at 21:28:22

He said after his block was over. He's just saying that, right? He's not really blocked, is he? I think I might just like Phil, who is he? Who are you, Phil?

 

Re: Phil can't be blocked Susan47

Posted by Gabbix2 on December 11, 2004, at 22:11:52

In reply to Phil can't be blocked, posted by Susan47 on December 11, 2004, at 21:39:00

> He said after his block was over. He's just saying that, right? He's not really blocked, is he?

Not right now, I don't think but he has been along with me, and most notably I think ZenHussy
one of Dr. Bobs fave targets, so get him while you can! I don't think I'm a target anymore

B.T.W I too got punished for saying a*s for donkey, and on the same board two other people used it and did anything happen? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

Re: Phil can't be blocked Gabbix2

Posted by Susan47 on December 11, 2004, at 22:19:47

In reply to Re: Phil can't be blocked Susan47, posted by Gabbix2 on December 11, 2004, at 22:11:52

I know; just between you and me, I think DB is suffering from a tich of transference.... ssshhh!

 

: ) (nm) Susan47

Posted by Gabbix2 on December 11, 2004, at 22:26:46

In reply to Re: Phil can't be blocked Gabbix2, posted by Susan47 on December 11, 2004, at 22:19:47


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