Psycho-Babble Social Thread 14247

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Re:Well done, Cass

Posted by Sourceror on November 28, 2001, at 18:21:17

In reply to Re:Well done, Cass » Cass, posted by Fi on November 28, 2001, at 13:52:31

Keep up the fight (and it is a big fight to keep going from day to day) and you will find new little tid bits to hold on to. I have been following your posts from day one and I would find myself rushing in after work just to see if you had posted something new so I could know you were still in the fight. Keep going no matter how tough it gets....

 

Cass » Fi

Posted by adamie on November 29, 2001, at 12:02:56

In reply to Re: Suicide » Cass, posted by Fi on November 25, 2001, at 13:31:41


try doing some new things if you are insistant on dying. some new things just for the heck of it. buy some lotto scratch tickets. they can be fun for that single second. and do you want to get married? me is here. if you have nothing to lose then why not try some abnormal things? and admitting yourself to a clinic or mental hospital can be good. the change of lifestyle can be enought o temporarly get rid of suicidal thoughts at least a bit.

> You already know from the previous messages how much members of this group are rooting for you.
>
> I would add a few of the cold facts which help keep me going sometimes, about suicide.
> 1. It causes enormous pain and anguish to the people who love you(including your dog), and sends out ripples of distress to everyone who knew you. Far more than with an 'ordinary' death.
> 2. It breaks the taboo on suicide in the family, making your relatives more likely to do it in the future.
> 3. There is the risk it doesnt work and you end up with more medical problems to deal with.
> 4. You might have better times in the future- you dont know that now, and may find it impossible to believe, but at least allow the possibility. If you stop now, you wont stop the pain as you wont exist anymore. There isnt a stage 'after' when you will feel better.
>
> Something a therapist has said is to point out it is killing someone- murder- which is just as bad even tho you are doing it to yourself.
>
> Please, please talk to someone (like a crisis line) now- dont wait. And as people keep suggesting, your pdoc as soon as possible.
> If hospitalisation is suggested, think a little before dismissing it- keeping alive is incredibly important, even if it doesnt feel it just now.
>
> You have links with life, and are sad at the idea of leaving it, and have contacted us. Keep going a bit longer; decide to get help on Monday, not OD.
>
> Fi

 

Re: Suicide: not » shelliR

Posted by Cass on November 29, 2001, at 13:21:19

In reply to Re: Suicide: not » Cass, posted by shelliR on November 28, 2001, at 0:47:39

Hi Shelli,
Do you think you could help me find info. about Prozac and Neurontin?

 

Re: Suicide: not » Cass

Posted by shelliR on November 29, 2001, at 16:21:40

In reply to Re: Suicide: not » shelliR, posted by Cass on November 29, 2001, at 13:21:19

> Hi Shelli,
> Do you think you could help me find info. about Prozac and Neurontin?

Prozac is now generic, but still very expensive, so I would apply for Eli Lilly's progrzm:
ELI LILLY AND COMPANY

Name of Program : Lilly Cares

Physician Requests Should Be Directed To Lilly Cares Program Administrator
Lilly Cares
P.O. Box 23099
Centreville, VA 20120
1 -(800) 545-6962

Product(s) Covered By Program
Most Lilly prescription products and insulins (except controlled substances) are covered by this program. Gemzar® is covered under a separate program

Eligibility
Patients must be U.S. residents. Eligibility is determined on a case-by-case basis in consultation with each prescribing physician. Eligibility is based on the patient's inability to pay and lack of third- party drug payment assistance, including
insurance, Medicaid, government-subsidized clinics, and other government, community, or private programs. Inpatients and those who can obtain drug reimbursement from any source are not eligible. Requests for replacement drugs cannot be
honored; Medications are provided directly to the physician for dispensing to the patient. Quantity of supply is dependent upon type of product being prescribed. All Lilly medications must be used as recommended in product labeling.

Other Program Information
Forms to qualify a patient for the program will be provided to the physician. On this form, the physician is requested to provide prescription information, including signature and DEA number, and to confirm the patient's ineligibility for otherforms of outpatient drug coverage. Additionally, the patient is requested to provide pertinent information and state financial need.

Subsequent request for same patient requires another prescription and restatement of medical and financial need.

Program guidelines may be subject to change.


Cass, I'm on my way out now, but I'll try to find the same information about neurotin in a couple of hours.

Shelli

 

Re: Cass-Neurontin program info

Posted by Phil on November 29, 2001, at 17:34:06

In reply to Re: Suicide: not » Cass, posted by shelliR on November 29, 2001, at 16:21:40

Hi Cass, I just got home and since Shelli was on her way out, I found your info on Neurontin.
Hope you're feeling okay..let us know when you feel like it.

PFIZER INC
Name Of Program
Pfizer Prescription Assistance

Physician Requests Should Be Directed To
Pfizer Prescription Assistance
P.O. Box 230970
Centreville, VA 20120
(800) 646-4455

Product(s) Covered By Program
Most Pfizer outpatient products with chronic indications are covered by this program. Aricept®, Diflucan® and Zithro-max® are covered by separate programs.

Eligibility
Any patient that a physician is treating as indigent is eligible. Patients must have incomes below $12,000 (single) or $15,000 (family). Patients must not be receiving or be eligible for third-party or Medicaid reimbursements for medications. No copayment or cost-sharing is required by the patient.

Other Program Information
Specific forms are not required. The physician must write a letter on his or her letterhead to Pfizer stating that the patient meets income criteria and is uninsured for pharmaceuticals and enclose a prescription for the desired product. The letter must be signed by the prescribing physician. Products are shipped to the physician for redistribution to the patient. Products are supplied to the physician in stock packages, usually 100 tablets or capsules. It may take up to four weeks to receive the product. Refills are obtained through physician resubmission of request. Pfizer reserves the right to limit enrollment of patients.

 

How are you doing Cass?

Posted by Greg A. on November 29, 2001, at 22:04:17

In reply to Re: Cass-Neurontin program info, posted by Phil on November 29, 2001, at 17:34:06

Cass - did you get the message that a whole bunch of people care about you? If you have that effect on relative strangers . . . well who knows??
Lots of helpful advice here.
Just let us know what you need!

Take Care

Greg

 

Re: How are you doing Cass? » Greg A.

Posted by Cass on November 29, 2001, at 22:33:49

In reply to How are you doing Cass?, posted by Greg A. on November 29, 2001, at 22:04:17

Yes, Greg. I'm so touched by all the support I've received here. It has helped me so much, and it still is. I'm going to give the drug program info that Shelli and Phil gave me to my doctors. It was so sweet of them to do that footwork for me. If I didn't have to spend so much on meds, that would sure help. I feel I'm getting a tiny bit better each day. I had quite a breakdown. I feel like I am recovering from a life threatening illness, and I guess I am, on a psychological level. After I came out of the suicidal phase, I was having highs and lows, and I still am, but they are not as intense. Things don't seem as dire as they did before. I can't believe how close I was to ending things. I was so, so close. It frightens me. I'm definitely back in the land of the living now. Thank-you so much for asking. I feel very close to you all.

 

Yea!!!!! (nm) » Cass

Posted by Krazy Kat on November 30, 2001, at 18:00:19

In reply to Re: How are you doing Cass? » Greg A., posted by Cass on November 29, 2001, at 22:33:49

 

the memorial

Posted by Cass on December 1, 2001, at 19:42:30

In reply to Yea!!!!! (nm) » Cass, posted by Krazy Kat on November 30, 2001, at 18:00:19

Today I went to a memorial service of a lady I did not know well. As a child, she had been a Lithuanian refugee who grew up "dirt poor" in the ghetto, but having white skin allowed her to escape the prejudice that kept her friends and neighbors down. She never turned a blind eye to this unfairness. She devoted her whole life to fighting social injustice. She taught English as a second language, helped feed and clothe immigrants and she was politically active. I was touched by her life, and I just thought I would share it.

 

Re: the memorial » Cass

Posted by jay on December 1, 2001, at 22:14:42

In reply to the memorial, posted by Cass on December 1, 2001, at 19:42:30

Why can't there be more people in the world like this? Seems like most of society just cares about making money; creating war; picking on the less fortunate. Everything has become so conservative, it makes me ill. No wonder I/we often just want to pack it all in.

Jay

> Today I went to a memorial service of a lady I did not know well. As a child, she had been a Lithuanian refugee who grew up "dirt poor" in the ghetto, but having white skin allowed her to escape the prejudice that kept her friends and neighbors down. She never turned a blind eye to this unfairness. She devoted her whole life to fighting social injustice. She taught English as a second language, helped feed and clothe immigrants and she was politically active. I was touched by her life, and I just thought I would share it.

 

Feeling calm as closer I get to suicide » Cass

Posted by Corafree on July 9, 2004, at 12:49:50

In reply to the memorial, posted by Cass on December 1, 2001, at 19:42:30

It has been a long time since anyone has posted on this issue. I have everything pretty much ready. I've written a will, but don't have it signed yet. It is odd how calm I feel now that the decision has been made. I just don't know when to do it yet. I have reached out for help and have no one reaching back. I have a borderline personality disorder, I guess from post traumatic stress syndrome. I am doing pretty good on Effexor-XR. I noticed there was some mention of Neurontin. You see, I have chronic pain from domestic violence. I have three of the discs just below my head extruded. My psych is taking me off (never been off in 15 years) benzos, and my PCP is flirting with taking away my pain medicine. Without it I will be all but bedridden. I have three wonderful children whom I want to no longer burden. I want to leave them what little I have and no debt! I cannot have surgery, well unless I paid for it. Can't do that because I'm on SS Disability. And, if it didn't work, no doctor would really want to help me because it was elective. Trigger point and epidurals do not work. Suddenly, my doctors are focusing on 'addiction' and not me. I am 52y/o and have had many wonderful times and some terrible times. I am all alone here. Well, alone for about 8 years. My neighbors have seen me taken out on a stretcher before and are no longer friendly. I cannot work. I have no love in my life. I lost my 'rock', my father, five months ago. We were very close and the rest of my family of five seem to have dumped me and my problems. It's like the CATs away and the mice are playing. I'm giving up this fight, that's probably why I'm so calm.

 

you have options.... » Corafree

Posted by karen_kay on July 9, 2004, at 13:31:50

In reply to Feeling calm as closer I get to suicide » Cass, posted by Corafree on July 9, 2004, at 12:49:50

DON'T YOU GIVE UP!!!!!! you haven't signed your will yet for a reason. you're not ready to give up yet. people care. your children care! i care!!!! i'm listening to you and you still have options dear! money is jsut money and there is NO (NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!!) price tag on your life! your life is worth so much more than any amount of money!!!! SO MUCH MORE!!! DON'T YOU EVER (EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER!!!!) think any different! please don't you give up! pretty please!

i know you are in pain. and i'm sorry. if there was any way in this world i could take that pain away, please beleive me that i would. i really really really wish i could dear. but i can't and that really hurts me.

you still have hope dear. i still have hope, and i'l share that with you. think of your beautiful children. they can't lose their wonderful mother (is that right? if not i'm very sorry, i'm not good at guessing, you know :)) right now, not this way dear. keep them close to you. you still have the hope of fidning love. keep that hope alive dear. i thikn that sometimes hope is all we have. and i have so very much hope in my life that i'm willing to share it with you. i promise i will.

if you need anything (and i mean ANYTHING) don't you dare hesitate to email me at karen_kay12at yahoodotcom... i sincerely mean that... i look forward to receiving your email very very very soon dear..

you take care of yourself, and i look forward to helping you take care of your wonderful self as well... keep that hope alive and i'm sending you every ounce of hope i can spare (and believe me, that's a whole lot of hope!!!!!!) things WILL be better for you very soon dear! i promise! i feel it in my heart! AND DON'T YOU GIVE UP! EMAIL ME my new friend!

 

Re: you have options.... » karen_kay

Posted by Corafree on July 9, 2004, at 14:06:09

In reply to you have options.... » Corafree, posted by karen_kay on July 9, 2004, at 13:31:50

You touched my heart and actually made me cry. I haven't cried for days. My children do love me very much, so much that they would let me go rather than see me in pain. I don't live very close to them. I need to move closer to them, don't you think? Maybe I could do that. Thank god you were still there. You just made this day liveable(?) for me. I'm still pretty I think, but a little thin. I used to be really sweet and happy. But so much went wrong and made me different. While surrounded by people in a condo community near a university, it took the internet to find someone who would grasp my outstretched arm. Thank you doesn't even say it. Please don't go away.

 

i'm still here dear.. » Corafree

Posted by karen_kay on July 9, 2004, at 14:32:03

In reply to Re: you have options.... » karen_kay, posted by Corafree on July 9, 2004, at 14:06:09

i'm sorry you are in pain dear.. i really can't say that enough. and i'm afraid that i can't say it in such a way that you can believe how much i really am sorry you are in pain. i really do wish i could take that pain away from you. but, i know i can't.

your children love you very much. i'm so very happy for that. i'm sorry tht they are far from you. is it possible for you to move closer to them? if so, i know that it helps to be closer to your family and people who care about you... if you can move closer to your children, then please do so. i think that being closer to them may help your pain a little. sometimes being closer to those you love helps you to forget about your pain just a little bit.

and i bet you are beautiful dear! absolutely stunning! if you start to believe you are, then it is so! if you used to be sweet adn happy, then you can be sweet and happy again. you still have it in you. i know it's very hard to be happy when you are living wiht so much pain and sadness, but i thikn that you can overcome that and become happy once again. hold onto that hope dear.

and i won't go away dear. i promise! i'm still here listening. i promise.. i sent that hope, and i think you got a little bit of it... i'm sending more right ow. can you feel it yet?

and please don't cry. instead, could you smile jsut a little bit? i know everyone looks beautiful when they cry, but they look absolutely stunning when they smile. let's go for stunning this time instead of beautiful..ok? come on, you can do it.. i see the smile,,, jsut a little bit more.. come on.. there you go!!! you did it.. you're smiling and you are absolutely stunning dear! now, do it more often adn you'll catch a stunning gentleman with lots and lots of money!!!

have a great day dear, filled with lots of happiness and hope (don't forget, i'm sending it.. so, you better catch it, or your neighbor will get it instead!!!)

 

Re: i'm still here dear.. » karen_kay

Posted by Corafree on July 9, 2004, at 16:05:43

In reply to i'm still here dear.. » Corafree, posted by karen_kay on July 9, 2004, at 14:32:03

Yep, you saw my face, a little hopeful smile. You and your words are an inspiration. This is almost happiness ... can that be? See, now I get all full of myself, such an attention seeker, I'm so sorry. Forgive me, it is this quirk in my personality. I sometimes can't understand how my meaning comes across wrong to others. That is the reason I have difficulty with maintaining friendships. So pls know I don't mean to sound in anyway unappreciative, because I totally am. It's hard. In someone's post above there is a saying about a ROSE. I don't know how the saying ends. Will have to go back and check, see who wrote it. God bless you and the other person who has responded to me (can't get back there)

 

Re: i'm still here dear..

Posted by shadows721 on July 10, 2004, at 0:24:13

In reply to Re: i'm still here dear.. » karen_kay, posted by Corafree on July 9, 2004, at 16:05:43

Cora,

I just found your post. I hope you are safe. I too suffer from chronic pain. I had to be hospitalized for depression around Christmas. I know exactly how you feel, but there are other meds to try. I have been using topamax and it helps my back pain.

 

Re: i'm still here dear..

Posted by gardenergirl on July 10, 2004, at 9:21:14

In reply to Re: i'm still here dear.., posted by shadows721 on July 10, 2004, at 0:24:13

Cora,
My mother suffers from chronic pain. She recently had hip surgery, and her ego-driven surgeon accused her of being an addict due to the high dose of narcotics she requires to manager her fibromyalgia. He doesn't seem to know snot about chronic pain management. I spoke with a PharmD. pain specialist who told me my mother's dose was quite appropriate.

I think doctor's are afraid of their patients becoming addicted and drug-seeking. But there is a huge difference between being physically dependent, as my mother is, and being psychologically addicted. I would encourage you to talk to your doctor about perhaps seing a pain management specialist, if you haven't already. I can also send you some articles about the latest in chronic pain management that I downloaded from Medscape. You could share these with your doctor. You can reach me via email at gardenergirl88 at yahoo dot com (spelled out to avoid web bots) if you want me to send you the article.

Please take gentle care of yourself and hug your children. Children are such a blessing.

gg

 

Effexor-XR, Suicidal Ideation, Topomax, Pain » shadows721

Posted by Corafree on July 10, 2004, at 16:44:55

In reply to Re: i'm still here dear.., posted by shadows721 on July 10, 2004, at 0:24:13

I asked my doc for Topomax but he said it is only prescribed for epilepsy! By the way, are there any affordable chronic pain treatment centers?

 

Re: Effexor-XR, Suicidal Ideation, Topomax, Pain

Posted by shadows721 on July 10, 2004, at 19:16:13

In reply to Effexor-XR, Suicidal Ideation, Topomax, Pain » shadows721, posted by Corafree on July 10, 2004, at 16:44:55

No, I sure don't know of affordable pain clinics. Topamax is being used for way more than epilepsy now. It's being used for bipolar 2, migraine, essential tremors, anxiety, weight loss associated with SSRI's, and nerve pain. Doc doesn't sound like he is up with current research. Might have to print some up off the internet and put it in his lap to read.

Now, Topamax is a serious drug. But with serious back pain, it might be worth a try.

 

Re: i'm still here dear.. » Corafree

Posted by Elle2021 on July 13, 2004, at 7:14:12

In reply to Re: i'm still here dear.. » karen_kay, posted by Corafree on July 9, 2004, at 16:05:43

I wish I would have seen this post a few days ago. I would have liked to have tried to say or do something helpful. I would love to offer my friendship to you Corafree. I can always use another friend, and it sounds like you can use one too. ((((Corafree)))) Hugs to you.
Elle

 

Re: i'm still here dear.. » Elle2021

Posted by Corafree on July 14, 2004, at 12:31:32

In reply to Re: i'm still here dear.. » Corafree, posted by Elle2021 on July 13, 2004, at 7:14:12

Thank you. Every little message like this gives me more hope. I have written my 'will' of sort and given it to my daughter. I don't intend, but I just have fears and don't want to leave my children with the burden of an elderly emotional broken mother, ya know? Today I have hope. I am doing well on Effexor-XR 75mg am and 37.5mg about five hours later in the day, and then trazodone for sleep. Fears are about docs taking away anxiety med and pain med. I'd be bedridden. Everyday I have hope is a good day. I wonder so often about the spirituality of suicide. Good can conquer evil, I think. I feel I've been short-changed too long a length of time of the 'good' and that's when I consider suicide. I pray. I don't abuse alcohol or meds. I'm no angel, but I really wonder - if your life doesn't give you a break, maybe you are called upon to give yourself a break?

 

Re: i'm still here dear.. » Corafree

Posted by Elle2021 on July 15, 2004, at 2:20:04

In reply to Re: i'm still here dear.. » Elle2021, posted by Corafree on July 14, 2004, at 12:31:32

That is good that the Effexor seems to be helping a bit. I agree with you, I think good can conquer evil. I'm glad that you don't abuse medication or alcohol. That type of thing can make psychiatric problems 10x worse. You mentioned that you had already written a will. That part of your post worries me. Is it a possibility for you to contact your therapist and talk about your feelings on this? You know if you go through with suicide, your daughter will miss you terribly. And, I already like you, so I will miss you too. You're open and honest, and I like that. So tell me about your day. :)
Elle

> Thank you. Every little message like this gives me more hope. I have written my 'will' of sort and given it to my daughter. I don't intend, but I just have fears and don't want to leave my children with the burden of an elderly emotional broken mother, ya know? Today I have hope. I am doing well on Effexor-XR 75mg am and 37.5mg about five hours later in the day, and then trazodone for sleep. Fears are about docs taking away anxiety med and pain med. I'd be bedridden. Everyday I have hope is a good day. I wonder so often about the spirituality of suicide. Good can conquer evil, I think. I feel I've been short-changed too long a length of time of the 'good' and that's when I consider suicide. I pray. I don't abuse alcohol or meds. I'm no angel, but I really wonder - if your life doesn't give you a break, maybe you are called upon to give yourself a break?

 

Re: i'm still here

Posted by cubic_me on July 15, 2004, at 8:52:28

In reply to Re: i'm still here dear.. » Corafree, posted by Elle2021 on July 15, 2004, at 2:20:04

Sweetie, I've been as close or closer than you have to suicide, and its a strange time, like no other.

I'm sorry I didn't reply earlier, I've been on vacation, but I'm here now, and will listen to you for ever if it helps even a little. I'm so glad you're feeling a bit better than a few days ago, than's really positive.

cubic x

 

Re: i'm still here dear.. » Elle2021

Posted by corafree on July 15, 2004, at 9:19:44

In reply to Re: i'm still here dear.. » Corafree, posted by Elle2021 on July 15, 2004, at 2:20:04

I awoke this a.m. too early. My first thoughts were what I was feeling...pain in my body. I was thirsty so had a pepsi and a pain pill. I guess besides the extruded discs C2-3,C3-4,C4-5; I have arthritis and I feel pretty sure fibromyalgia. I think I may wake because of pain. I wish my doc could walk in my shoes. I have great fear that he will take away my med. Suicidal thoughts linger, and I think it is the pain I wish to escape, mostly physical, some emotional probs'. It's nice to have you to talk to. I have been a bit too open and emotional w/ my doctors. I think it is better to try and keep yourself together, not get too upset, and not too desperate, as I think these are called 'red flags' that they take as pill seeking! They get caught up in protecting themselves from me, talking about addiction; but I feel I may be physically dependent. Like I said, I don't abuse illegal or prescription meds. Pray my doc trusts me and doesn't through me to the wolves. Will find out in couple weeks. In meantime, he wants me to see a fourth pain specialist! Have three names to pick from - will call Board of Medical Examiners and get info on each, before choosing one. Have a nice day back at ya'!

 

Re: Suicide

Posted by corafree on July 15, 2004, at 9:33:02

In reply to Suicide, posted by Cass on November 23, 2001, at 23:57:55

Are we communicating?


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