Psycho-Babble Social Thread 325511

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Re: Dear diary June 1 » Ilene

Posted by fallsfall on June 2, 2004, at 9:16:33

In reply to Dear diary June 1, posted by Ilene on June 1, 2004, at 21:41:00

I usually have my mother cut my hair once a year (I wear it long and straight). But I went to a stylist starting maybe 2 years ago. One of my meds had started making my hair fall out (disaster! That is one side effect I will not accept). She recommended Nioxin (shampoo, conditioner and special hair growing after shower scalp stimulator stuff). I went recently to get it cut before my sister's wedding. I complained about it being thin and fragile - was it diet? She said "I think we've talked about this before. I could be your diet, but it could also be stress." Great, now I have another thing to stress about: that my stress is making my hair fall out!

 

Re: Dear diary June 1 » fallsfall

Posted by Angel Girl on June 3, 2004, at 3:26:37

In reply to Re: Dear diary June 1 » Ilene, posted by fallsfall on June 2, 2004, at 9:16:33

> I usually have my mother cut my hair once a year (I wear it long and straight). But I went to a stylist starting maybe 2 years ago. One of my meds had started making my hair fall out (disaster! That is one side effect I will not accept). She recommended Nioxin (shampoo, conditioner and special hair growing after shower scalp stimulator stuff). I went recently to get it cut before my sister's wedding. I complained about it being thin and fragile - was it diet? She said "I think we've talked about this before. I could be your diet, but it could also be stress." Great, now I have another thing to stress about: that my stress is making my hair fall out!

fallsfall

I've had the same side effect of my hair falling out. Mine is from Depakote and I'm weaning off of it right now for that very reason. It also makes my hair frizzy and drier. The drier part is good because I normally have very oily hair but I will NOT tolerate it falling out and being frizzy. So, the Depakote MUST go. 2 more decreases and I'm totally off of it, not a moment too soon as far as I'm concerned. My pdoc is not too happy though but who cares, it's MY hair not hers.

I just hope my hair will return to normal after the Depakote is gone. Does anybody know?

AG

 

Re: Dear diary June 1 » Angel Girl

Posted by fallsfall on June 3, 2004, at 10:25:39

In reply to Re: Dear diary June 1 » fallsfall, posted by Angel Girl on June 3, 2004, at 3:26:37

It took about a month AFTER I stopped the Depakote for it to stop falling out in quantities. So, you will have to be patient. I think mine has gone back to just falling out like anyone else with female pattern baldness... Sigh. I do think that it would be much healthier if I didn't have so much stress - I think that and diet are the key for me. I am not convinced, unfortunately, that I have MORE hair now than in my Depakote days...

 

Re: Dear diary June 1 » fallsfall

Posted by Angel Girl on June 3, 2004, at 12:28:36

In reply to Re: Dear diary June 1 » Angel Girl, posted by fallsfall on June 3, 2004, at 10:25:39

> It took about a month AFTER I stopped the Depakote for it to stop falling out in quantities. So, you will have to be patient. I think mine has gone back to just falling out like anyone else with female pattern baldness... Sigh. I do think that it would be much healthier if I didn't have so much stress - I think that and diet are the key for me. I am not convinced, unfortunately, that I have MORE hair now than in my Depakote days...


fallsfall

I guess I can sorta put up with the wait for it to grow back since my pdoc is taking FOREVER to get me off this awful stuff. She's afraid I'll have another manic episode if she does it faster. ugh!!!

I do agree that stress and diet also contribute to how healthy your hair is. Guess I need to straight up those two factors too. Too much stuff to work on.

BTW, what is female pattern baldness? Don't think I've ever heard of that before.

AG

 

Re: Dear diary June 1 » Angel Girl

Posted by fallsfall on June 3, 2004, at 19:24:09

In reply to Re: Dear diary June 1 » fallsfall, posted by Angel Girl on June 3, 2004, at 12:28:36

Female pattern baldness is a general thinning of the hair. Men get bald by losing ALL of the hair in one spot. Women get "bald" by losing the density of their hair all over their scalp - rarely women lose all the hair in particular spots. At least this is how I understand it.

 

Re: Dear diary June 1 » fallsfall

Posted by Angel Girl on June 3, 2004, at 20:16:56

In reply to Re: Dear diary June 1 » Angel Girl, posted by fallsfall on June 3, 2004, at 19:24:09

> Female pattern baldness is a general thinning of the hair. Men get bald by losing ALL of the hair in one spot. Women get "bald" by losing the density of their hair all over their scalp - rarely women lose all the hair in particular spots. At least this is how I understand it.


fallsfall

How common is this and what age does it usually start to occur? Just what I need, NOT!!!

AG

 

Re: Dear diary June 1- concerned 4u » Ilene

Posted by Angel Girl on June 4, 2004, at 3:11:07

In reply to Dear diary June 1, posted by Ilene on June 1, 2004, at 21:41:00

> I'm not feeling well. As in physically and mentally. I slept for about 10 hours. I'm depressed. I'm beginning to feel suicidal again. More along the lines of being *so tired* of being depressed. Yeah, so I'm better than I was, but I still see no end to it. I just want to stop fighting and have it all be over.
>
> Talked w/ my internist about last week's thyroid test. He says I'm hyperthyroid now, and I should cut back on the Cytomel. The psychopharmacologist said I could be a little hyperthyroid. I don't know who's advice take.
>
> Got my hair cut. What a disaster. The stylist commented on how thin my hair is, and how easily it comes out. So it's *not* my imagination. I just hate it! I feel so ugly. I used to have so much hair I could hardly brush it.
>
> I feel so sick and energyless, and I have so much to do.


Hey girl

You ok? The last time you posted you said you were feeling suicidal and that was 2 days ago. Where are you??????? You got me worried. :(

AG

 

Re: Dear diary June 1- concerned 4u

Posted by SandyWeb on June 5, 2004, at 23:55:56

In reply to Re: Dear diary June 1- concerned 4u » Ilene, posted by Angel Girl on June 4, 2004, at 3:11:07

I'm here

 

Re: Dear diary June 1- concerned 4u » SandyWeb

Posted by Angel Girl on June 6, 2004, at 0:17:47

In reply to Re: Dear diary June 1- concerned 4u, posted by SandyWeb on June 5, 2004, at 23:55:56

> I'm here


Hi Sandy

Actually my post was addressed to Ilene. She posted that she was suicidal again and hasn't posted since and that was 3 days ago now. I'm quite concerned.

I'm not familiar with you, were you having problems? Sorry for not knowing. Hope you're ok.

Still VERY concerned about Ilene.

Take care.

AG

 

Ilene » Angel Girl

Posted by gardenergirl on June 6, 2004, at 1:08:01

In reply to Re: Dear diary June 1- concerned 4u » SandyWeb, posted by Angel Girl on June 6, 2004, at 0:17:47

Angel Girl,
Ilene did post on the med board on the 4th.
But I haven't seen anything since.

Hope she's allright, and you are sweet for following up.

Ilene, we miss you!

gg

 

Re: Ilene » gardenergirl

Posted by Angel Girl on June 6, 2004, at 1:53:09

In reply to Ilene » Angel Girl, posted by gardenergirl on June 6, 2004, at 1:08:01

> Angel Girl,
> Ilene did post on the med board on the 4th.
> But I haven't seen anything since.
>
> Hope she's allright, and you are sweet for following up.
>
> Ilene, we miss you!
>
> gg


gg

Thanks for letting me know. I hadn't checked any of the other boards. I had just noticed that she hadn't continued with her diary. Since she posted on the 4th, I hope that means she is ok.

Again, thanks for letting me know. It puts my mind at ease.

AG

 

Ilene, where are you??????? (nm)

Posted by crushedout on June 6, 2004, at 7:40:22

In reply to Re: Ilene » gardenergirl, posted by Angel Girl on June 6, 2004, at 1:53:09

 

I'm here

Posted by Ilene on June 6, 2004, at 10:48:16

In reply to Ilene, where are you??????? (nm), posted by crushedout on June 6, 2004, at 7:40:22

I'm here. My CFS is flaring up, I'm starting Zyprexa, taking less Cytomel, and there are some other sources of stress in my life. I don't feel very well.

I.

 

Re: I'm here » Ilene

Posted by crushedout on June 6, 2004, at 11:55:34

In reply to I'm here, posted by Ilene on June 6, 2004, at 10:48:16


I'm glad you're there, but sorry you're feeling crappy.

 

Dear Diary June 8

Posted by Ilene on June 8, 2004, at 22:00:53

In reply to I'm here, posted by Ilene on June 6, 2004, at 10:48:16

I haven't disappeared off the face of the earth. Far from it. Just stressed, overpopulated, and overly horizontal.

I'm just pulling out of a CFS flare-up. My husband and best friend both left after short visits; my husband will be back Thurs. night for a longer stay.

I've been getting more depressed and anxious. The first thing that usually happens when my husband visits is that we have a fight, and that sets me off. Plus the stresses of living with my daughter again, and her graduation, and the stress of moving.

I completely broke down when I discovered I hadn't sent in a check for my son's end-of-school cruise. Now it seems silly, but I have been trying hard to keep on top of things, and I feel he's gotten the short end of the stick in a lot of ways.

I started Zyprexa on Thursday night and slept till about noon on Friday. Then I slept until 9 AM for a few nights. Last night I left the windows open so I would hear the birds and other morning noises, and I woke up at 5-something. I was extremely irritable. It got better after a while. I was more-or-less okay by the time my friend left at around noon.

I wonder if my extreme irritability is a clue that I'm actually bipolar.

I'm pretty tired right now.

 

Re: Dear Diary June 8 » Ilene

Posted by partlycloudy on June 9, 2004, at 8:48:00

In reply to Dear Diary June 8, posted by Ilene on June 8, 2004, at 22:00:53

Ilene, you have an awful lot going on in your life right now. Please don't beat yourself up! Moving, a graduation, living with your daughter, sparing with your spouse... any one of those would bring a person down.

You are holding up remarkably well but please be kind to Ilene; give her a bubble bath, or a latte, or a snooze on the sofa.

And I love to read your diary.

 

Re: Dear Diary June 8 » partlycloudy

Posted by Ilene on June 9, 2004, at 9:32:48

In reply to Re: Dear Diary June 8 » Ilene, posted by partlycloudy on June 9, 2004, at 8:48:00

> Ilene, you have an awful lot going on in your life right now. Please don't beat yourself up! Moving, a graduation, living with your daughter, sparing with your spouse... any one of those would bring a person down.
>
> You are holding up remarkably well but please be kind to Ilene; give her a bubble bath, or a latte, or a snooze on the sofa.
>
> And I love to read your diary.

I've started a small sewing project. I'm making a patchwork pillowcase for my son's extra-large pillow. The pleasure I get from it is greater than the guilt I feel for not doing something related to moving.

I.

 

Re: Dear Diary June 8 » Ilene

Posted by partlycloudy on June 9, 2004, at 9:57:29

In reply to Re: Dear Diary June 8 » partlycloudy, posted by Ilene on June 9, 2004, at 9:32:48

When I was young my family made a big move (1,000 miles). I remember my mom being incredibly stressed out - moving, school for us kids, new city to learn, etc. She started knitting, a narrow simple pattern, getting longer and longer every week, changing colours as one thingy of wool ran out and she'd start another. After we were settled in, she wound it into a rug shape and sewed it together. To this day it's known as her "worry rug". It's been in the rooms of all the homes she'd lived in since then.

Your post made me smile to remember.

 

Dear Diary June 9

Posted by Ilene on June 9, 2004, at 21:24:34

In reply to Dear Diary June 8, posted by Ilene on June 8, 2004, at 22:00:53

I always procrastinate writing my little diary entries. It's gotten to be *work*, but they are interesting to read later.

Woke up at a more-or-less reasonable time and took my meds right away, then dozed off, read for an hour, so my Cytomel would have a nice empty stomach in which to dissolve. I think it makes a difference.

I took $100 in rolled coins to the bank. I hate rolled coins, except for quarters. (These were my husband's.) They are a pain in the butt and usually just sit around. And no, I did not deposit them in my private account so I indulge my taste for fine chocolates; I deposited them in the account that goes for the gas bill, the car insurance, and the mortgage.

I went to see my pdoc. I talked her into letting me go up to 3.75 mg. Zyprexa because 2.5 mg isn't doing anything. She does fret. She went on about blood lipids and diabetes and reminded me to get my thyroid checked. Like I actually care.

Now *I'm* fretting about getting psychiatric and regular medical care in California. I'll probably go to the mood disorders clinic at Major Medical School. You get to see a resident--oh joy, a baby doctor treating a patient on an MAOI most people don't know about, an AP, a benzo, T3, and Neurontin; and a mineralocorticoid for a disease most docs have never heard of. However, it costs almost nothing, and they have a DBT group.

I'm fretting even more about finding an internist who knows about chronic fatigue syndrome. I'm afraid they are either as passive as my previous internist, or fans of alternative medicine. Alternative medicine scares me.

My own little 17-yr cicada called me from the gardens where she went with her BF. She wanted me to pick her up. I could hear a honking in the background, which I took to be a Canada goose. (This place has expanses of lawn that attact them.) Turned out to be a *frog*. I've never heard a frog that loud in the daytime.

BF stayed for dinner, then his grandfather came and whisked him off to his tennis match. Grandfather and English seem to be only distant acquaintances.

It's my wedding anniversary today. I've been married for 19 years. It can't *possibly* be that long.

 

Re: I'm here » Ilene

Posted by Angel Girl on June 10, 2004, at 3:56:53

In reply to I'm here, posted by Ilene on June 6, 2004, at 10:48:16

> I'm here. My CFS is flaring up, I'm starting Zyprexa, taking less Cytomel, and there are some other sources of stress in my life. I don't feel very well.
>
> I.


Ilene

I'm so glad to hear from you. You had me very worried girl. I'm sorry to hear you're not doing very well. BTW, what is CFS? I hope things improve for you very soon.

AG

 

Re: Dear Diary June 9 » Ilene

Posted by Angel Girl on June 10, 2004, at 4:44:48

In reply to Dear Diary June 9, posted by Ilene on June 9, 2004, at 21:24:34

Ilene

You're sounding depressed to me in this entry. I wish you were feeling better. Try not to worry about what is ahead of you. I tend to do that too. Try to live for today. Now I have to take my own advice. It's so much easier to help someone else than it is to help yourself.

Congratulations on your 19th wedding anniversary. Did you celebrate it in any way?

Hugs,
AG

> I always procrastinate writing my little diary entries. It's gotten to be *work*, but they are interesting to read later.
>
> Woke up at a more-or-less reasonable time and took my meds right away, then dozed off, read for an hour, so my Cytomel would have a nice empty stomach in which to dissolve. I think it makes a difference.
>
> I took $100 in rolled coins to the bank. I hate rolled coins, except for quarters. (These were my husband's.) They are a pain in the butt and usually just sit around. And no, I did not deposit them in my private account so I indulge my taste for fine chocolates; I deposited them in the account that goes for the gas bill, the car insurance, and the mortgage.
>
> I went to see my pdoc. I talked her into letting me go up to 3.75 mg. Zyprexa because 2.5 mg isn't doing anything. She does fret. She went on about blood lipids and diabetes and reminded me to get my thyroid checked. Like I actually care.
>
> Now *I'm* fretting about getting psychiatric and regular medical care in California. I'll probably go to the mood disorders clinic at Major Medical School. You get to see a resident--oh joy, a baby doctor treating a patient on an MAOI most people don't know about, an AP, a benzo, T3, and Neurontin; and a mineralocorticoid for a disease most docs have never heard of. However, it costs almost nothing, and they have a DBT group.
>
> I'm fretting even more about finding an internist who knows about chronic fatigue syndrome. I'm afraid they are either as passive as my previous internist, or fans of alternative medicine. Alternative medicine scares me.
>
> My own little 17-yr cicada called me from the gardens where she went with her BF. She wanted me to pick her up. I could hear a honking in the background, which I took to be a Canada goose. (This place has expanses of lawn that attact them.) Turned out to be a *frog*. I've never heard a frog that loud in the daytime.
>
> BF stayed for dinner, then his grandfather came and whisked him off to his tennis match. Grandfather and English seem to be only distant acquaintances.
>
> It's my wedding anniversary today. I've been married for 19 years. It can't *possibly* be that long.

 

Re: I'm here » Angel Girl

Posted by Ilene on June 10, 2004, at 9:54:30

In reply to Re: I'm here » Ilene, posted by Angel Girl on June 10, 2004, at 3:56:53

CFS=chronic fatigue syndrome

 

Re: Dear Diary June 9 » Angel Girl

Posted by Ilene on June 10, 2004, at 9:57:01

In reply to Re: Dear Diary June 9 » Ilene, posted by Angel Girl on June 10, 2004, at 4:44:48

> Ilene
>
> You're sounding depressed to me in this entry.>

Of course I'm depressed.

> Congratulations on your 19th wedding anniversary. Did you celebrate it in any way?
>

No. My husband isn't here.

I.

 

Dear Diary June 10

Posted by Ilene on June 10, 2004, at 20:21:38

In reply to Dear Diary June 9, posted by Ilene on June 9, 2004, at 21:24:34

I slept forever and ever this morning. It must have had to do with going up on the Zyprexa last night.

I started feeling all shaky after a while. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to pick up my husband at the airport. Drinking a quart of electrolyte solution made it better.

I did a little picking up, and got my daughter to do dishes. It took a lot of reminding her.

Told my husband we'd probably need to get gas on the way home from the airport. He said we'd be okay. On the way home he turned off the A/C and opened the window (this man hates heat almost as much as I do) and he said we were low on gas. Did I say, "I told you so"? You bet.

Since I hadn't been awake for long enough to buy any groceries we picked up the child that was home (the boy) and went out for BBQ. Now the other one is in a snit.

 

Dear Diary June 11

Posted by Ilene on June 11, 2004, at 18:33:53

In reply to Dear Diary June 10, posted by Ilene on June 10, 2004, at 20:21:38

Today is the little cicada's birthday. She is 18. I can't believe I have raised the little bug to so-called adulthood. She got a stuffed Hello Kitty wearing a kimono from her father and me, and a book of Celtic tales from her brother (I helped him choose it). (She also got a blue topaz pendant set in 14 kt. gold for graduation, which matches the earrings I gave her last year. She wears these all the time; I think we're going to have to get a heavier chain for the pendant.)

She's off at a No Doubt concert w/ a couple of friends. The driver is a budding alky. (I think he was diagnosed bipolar; his mother committed suicide. I hate mental illness.) Anyway, I told her to call us if he drinks. I've always been very easy about where she goes and when she comes home, but now I'm starting to worry about alcohol. She's like me; she doesn't like to drink--might have inherited my low ability to metabolize ethanol. The problem is other people who drink and get behind the wheel.

I am very, very tired. I didn't sleep well, and I woke up early and didn't go back to sleep. I've also been having problems with hypotension today, but I'm finding that drinking the electrolyte potion *really helps*. I have to drink about a quart for it to be effective. The minerals in it (sodium, magnesium, potassium, etc.) help keep me from just peeing out the extra fluid. I don't feel bloated, either.

I can't remember if I took any Klonopin today. If I did, it was in the morning. I am not feeling anxious. Maybe the Zyprexa is actually doing something. And yes, I think I gained some weight, but only a little.

I did some Important Chores, but when I went to the P.O. I discovered it was closed on account of Reagan's funeral. H-E-double-hockeysticks. I guess this is what they mean by "less government".

I've been relatively productive today, considering. Felt depressed earlier. I envisioned myself becoming a depressed old woman.


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