Psycho-Babble Social Thread 343809

Shown: posts 3 to 27 of 27. Go back in thread:

 

Re: deep depression- surviving

Posted by loser on May 5, 2004, at 22:41:51

In reply to Re: deep depression- surviving » loser, posted by mair on May 5, 2004, at 21:49:16

Mair , thanks for your response. I've been crazy since age 17. Shock treatment and most of the varieties of antidepressants and antipsychotics. Some help for a short period and then fade out. PhDs and shrinks too numerous to mention. The latest shrink indicated it was probably a problem of a poor attitude. He is probably correct. Anyway at my age I don't really expect any more reprieves I only wish I could make a graceful exit - but I am not particularly courageous either it seems. I didn't have anyone to talk to thanks again for listening. Take care.

 

Re: deep depression- surviving

Posted by fraulein1456 on May 5, 2004, at 22:52:46

In reply to deep depression- surviving, posted by loser on May 5, 2004, at 20:32:46

Freefall into depression... I'm familiar with that. To me it's like a deep, dark, slippery well and there is nothing to grab onto on the way down. I don't have any advice for you except to hang in there and keep reaching out to others. Eventually you'll stop the fall and can work on the climb out again. "You've done it before you can do it again" - that's what I keep telling myself during the climb. Don't know if this is at all helpful. Just know I care.

 

Re: deep depression- surviving » loser

Posted by Ilene on May 5, 2004, at 22:53:20

In reply to deep depression- surviving, posted by loser on May 5, 2004, at 20:32:46

> What does anybody here do when the drugs and therapy stop working and you can't stop the freefall into deep depression? I'm older than most here(57) so maybe you can't help just thought I'd ask in case. Thanks for your time.

I'm not quite as old as you but I'm still getting long in the tooth.

I've been through drug after drug after drug. I recently started augmenting with a thyroid hormone, and I feel better. Far from 100%, but improved, and continuing to improve.

I never got too much out of therapy. I wish it worked better for me, because the drugs all have side effects.

All I can suggest is to keep plugging away.

 

Re: deep depression- surviving » loser

Posted by jlynne on May 6, 2004, at 2:32:08

In reply to deep depression- surviving, posted by loser on May 5, 2004, at 20:32:46

Hello, friend . . . please, tell us a name to call you - "loser" is just too sad for me to write.

I am 54 yrs old and have been living with depression since adolescence. I have not been through shock treatments, but I have tried something from every family of AD's over the years, and the thyroid, and the neurontin, and the paxil, and on and on. Also have given up on therapy. And I, too, feel like I have spent most of my life just "surviving".

I am currently doing well on 10mg Lexapro, but hate the s/e's. I think this board has helped me more than anything else. I hope you will stick around . . . there are angels lurking here:~)

(((You))) (((friends))) (((support)))

...jlynne

 

Re: deep depression- surviving » loser

Posted by partlycloudy on May 6, 2004, at 7:09:24

In reply to deep depression- surviving, posted by loser on May 5, 2004, at 20:32:46

Welcome, loser (give us a name that doesn't hurt so much!). When I freefall, I rely on this place to help get me through. We tell each other our experiences, offer unsolicited advice, and ask each other for progress reports!

I am personally finding it helpful to meditate, practice yoga, and write Morning Pages (from "The Artist's Way".

Tell us what's going on with you!
partlycloudy

 

Re: deep depression- surviving

Posted by deirdrehbrt on May 6, 2004, at 8:50:36

In reply to Re: deep depression- surviving » loser, posted by partlycloudy on May 6, 2004, at 7:09:24

Hi,
I too have some difficulty calling anyone 'loser'. You're here, looking for help. You haven't lost. One loses only when one stops trying.
I'm not as old as some here, but I am well into my 40's. I've had problems for quite some time, all the way back to my pre-school days.
I tried to handle things on my own until just a few years ago. It didn't work. I have gone from the highs of mania to the deepest debths of depression and back again for as long as I can remember. I have at times felt my life to be an utter waste. I think I know whereof you speak.
I can't stop from feeling bad, not just yet, but I still pray that I will feel better someday. There is a post, right beneath your post, that I wrote a couple days ago; I think it might speak to what you are saying here. There are lots of people here with lots of experience. Just because you are middle aged doesn't mean that the young people here can't help; you may have lived longer, but most of us know something about how you fee.
Wishing you peace,
Dee.

 

Re: deep depression- surviving

Posted by loser on May 6, 2004, at 13:11:32

In reply to Re: deep depression- surviving, posted by deirdrehbrt on May 6, 2004, at 8:50:36

Thanks to all of you who responded. I have been through this before and I am trying to hang on. I keep telling myself I just need to try harder but as you all know that's easier said than done. Getting to work every day is about it right now. The apartment is a mess the laundry approaching Mt. Everest dimensions and an upcoming 2 week Trip to Europe planned for a year no longer seems exciting - just scary.
Thanks again to all for your kind words hoping you all are having a great day.

 

Laundry mountains » loser

Posted by partlycloudy on May 6, 2004, at 13:16:34

In reply to Re: deep depression- surviving, posted by loser on May 6, 2004, at 13:11:32

Why don't you make little molehills out of your mountain? Sorry, really bad joke.
Please take care!

 

Re: Laundry mountains

Posted by mair on May 6, 2004, at 21:51:48

In reply to Laundry mountains » loser, posted by partlycloudy on May 6, 2004, at 13:16:34

Sometimes it seems that I spend my whole nonworking life doing laundry. You know how McDonald's notes the numbers of burgers sold on their signs.

Maybe I should arrange to have something similar placed on my headstone ... "During her free time, she did umpteen loads of laundry, spent gazillions of hours folding laundry, and wasted scads of hours ironing shirts. Need we say more."

 

Re: deep depression- surviving

Posted by mair on May 7, 2004, at 22:30:26

In reply to Re: deep depression- surviving, posted by loser on May 6, 2004, at 13:11:32

This is really for loser, who's name I refuse to use on a subject line - I wish you'd give us another name.

Please let us know how you're doing. Your trip sounds exciting. I've had the experience of going on what should have been a great vacation, and never being able to distance myself from my depression. It's pretty bad when you're lying on a beach in the Bahamas mostly thinking about killing yourself. However, I've also discovered that vacations have often evolved into vacations from depression as well as vacations from work. It's nice to be able to have some time where you can almost pretend that you're not perpetually depressed.

The last time I went to Europe, I was surprised by how relaxing a vacation it was even though we tried to see way too much in way too short a time. I think there was real value in going somewhere where everything we saw and did was novel. You're not floating away in a hammock, but it was just really good for me to be drawn into all the new sights and sounds. Somehow it was easier for me to "forget" myself than it usually is when I'm just vegetating.

Anyway, I hope your trip gives you at least some respite from what's obviously a difficult time.

Keep us posted.

Mair

 

Re: deep depression- surviving

Posted by loser on May 8, 2004, at 13:30:02

In reply to Re: deep depression- surviving, posted by mair on May 7, 2004, at 22:30:26

Mair,

Thanks for your encouraging note about vacations. I too have had an easing of depression while traveling in the past and hope it happens again. My present state of mind is making it really hard to get ready for the trip. Tried to change my name to loner but not sure I was successful - loser is really ok for me.
Take care and have a good day.

 

Freefall

Posted by jlynne on May 8, 2004, at 18:06:13

In reply to deep depression- surviving, posted by loser on May 5, 2004, at 20:32:46

> What does anybody here do when the drugs and therapy stop working and you can't stop the freefall.

May we call you "freefall"?? You won't have to officially change your ID or anything - - it could be your nickname. *smile*

I hope your vacation turns out to be very pleasant, and you can bring us all back a souvenir, okay? Do you have access to a website where you can post pictures? If not, maybe someone here (like lonelygirl) could help you find a place to post your pics so we can share them with you - that would be nice!! (just an idea . . .)

(((Freefall)))

...jlynne

 

Re: a little obscuring maybe..? :- ) » loser

Posted by spoc on May 8, 2004, at 18:32:26

In reply to Re: deep depression- surviving, posted by loser on May 8, 2004, at 13:30:02

Hello!

I imagine people may never get used to addressing you as 'loser,' but will indeed want to be able to address you... By another nickname within posts anyway, if not an 'official' change... How about:

El or Los or Resol?
(The last one would be good, you'd more or less keep your name but people would be saying "Hi, opposite-of-loser!")

Or in another language maybe (although to those who speak them it wouldn’t sound any different of course)? According a web translation site, ‘loser’ in these languages is:

French:
Perdant

Italian:
Perdente

Spanish:
Perdedor

... or Perde/Perdy for short?

Dutch:
Verliezer

German:
Verlierer

...or Verli/Verlie for short? Or some variation or combination, to obscure it even more:

Perlie, Verdente, Losdente, Verder....?

Ok, so I think too much. And I'm sorry, I know it's none of my business! Anyway, I do hope you will feel better; and are able to prepare for and begin looking forward to your trip. :- )

 

Re: Freefall » jlynne

Posted by spoc on May 8, 2004, at 18:38:48

In reply to Freefall, posted by jlynne on May 8, 2004, at 18:06:13

> > What does anybody here do when the drugs and therapy stop working and you can't stop the freefall.
>
> May we call you "freefall"?? You won't have to officially change your ID or anything - - it could be your nickname. *smile*

---
Our posts crossed here jlynne -- very good suggestion! :- )

 

Re: Freefall

Posted by loser on May 9, 2004, at 3:28:54

In reply to Freefall, posted by jlynne on May 8, 2004, at 18:06:13

Freefall it is. I really am a loser but I appreciate that it isn't comfortable for some of you to call me that. I kind of like the sound of Freefall though I certainly am impressed by all the effort by spoc to describe what a loser would be called in all those other languages. I'm feeling some better right now as after work (1am) I went to the laundromat and reduced the mountain to a half dozen mole hills of clean clothes - what a relief! I'm taking the day off from work tomorrow so maybe I can get something else done too. I would like to share some pictures with you if everything works out. Thanks to everyone for talking to me I don't know if you can know how much it means to me right now. Take care and have a great day .

 

Re: Freefall » loser

Posted by jlynne on May 9, 2004, at 10:46:50

In reply to Re: Freefall, posted by loser on May 9, 2004, at 3:28:54

Freefall, I'm glad you like your new name (*smile*). I can't tell from your posts if you are male or female, but if you are a mother I would like to say "Happy Mothers' Day!". If you are not a mother, then I will say "scuze me" (*smile*). And if you are neither a mother nor a female, then I will say "oh my god, I feel like an idiot!" (*BIG smile*). [I assume you are a woman, however, because I don't know any men who would take a whole day off work to catch up on chores.] LOL

Whatever the case may be, I hope you have a lovely day, and I look forward to getting to know you better.

(((Freefall)))

...jlynne

 

Re: Freefall » loser

Posted by partlycloudy on May 9, 2004, at 14:53:26

In reply to Re: Freefall, posted by loser on May 9, 2004, at 3:28:54

Freefall is a great posting name!! Congratulations on tackling the laundry mountain. That's a real accomplishment. I cleaned my bathroom today for the first time in an embarassing amount of time. I finally got just too grossed out. Of course, I had a crying jag halfway through and had sweat pouring off my face (which is probably why I hadn't done it til now).

Don't try to do too much on your day off. Make sure you take some "personal time" so you can put your feet up and enjoy your clean clothes and whatever else you tackle.

Oh, and happy mother's day - if you're a mother! My sister sent me an e-card from my cat, which was just what I needed today.

best regards,
partlycloudy

 

Re: Freefall

Posted by loser on May 9, 2004, at 22:06:17

In reply to Re: Freefall » loser, posted by jlynne on May 9, 2004, at 10:46:50

jlynne,
Thanks for the Mother's Day greetings(I am a woman and a mom). Hope you had a great day as well. I actually got one room cleaned and I'm headed out to do some late-night shopping at a local 24 hour discount store so it's been a pretty productive day for me - thanks in part to support from the people here. Hope to get to know you better as well. Have a good night. freefall

 

Re: Freefall

Posted by loser on May 9, 2004, at 22:14:10

In reply to Re: Freefall » loser, posted by partlycloudy on May 9, 2004, at 14:53:26

partlycloudy,
Thanks for your note. When I read it I hadn't managed to do anything on my list beyond putting my clean clothes away. Anyway I decided to tackle my bathroom too. It's now sparkling - thanks for the inspiration. Hope you had a good Mother's Day as well. I'm off to do some shopping including some Ben&Jerry's I think. Take care and have a good night. freefall

 

Getting to know each other . . .

Posted by jlynne on May 12, 2004, at 0:36:45

In reply to Re: Freefall, posted by loser on May 9, 2004, at 22:14:10

Hi, Freefall. Haven't heard from you for a couple days; hope everything is all right. (I guess you haven't heard from ME in a couple days, either, eh?)

I was thinking about getting to know you better, and i figure one way is to tell you a little bit about myself.

I am 57 yrs old, have 3 grown children (32, 34 and 35yrs) and 4 grandchildren (2, 9, 10 and 15yrs).

I have been married and divorced four times; my last marriage ended last summer after 17yrs together (he left me for another woman).

I live in Oregon, and I do social work assisting the elderly (I absolutely LOVE my job). I have been with the same agency for 12 yrs.

I have been dealing with depression since adolescence; hospitalized twice, in my mid-twenties. I have tried many, many meds over the years, without success until now. I have gone without any meds at all most of the time, because I couldn't handle the s/e's.

I am now on 10mg Lexapro (3 mo's) and doing very well. I had some days, tho when I was ready to give up on the lex, too, but there are angels on this board who gave me encouragement and support and I stuck it out through the hard part.

A couple weeks ago my doctor had the insight to take me off the ativan (which I was taking for the insomnia caused by the lex) and now that I am off I feel much better. My doc also lets me take a "vacation" from the lex on weekends - my choice if I want one, or two days. It seems to be just what I need to stay in balance.

Oh, boy . . . I'm running on. I guess you don't have to hear it all at once (*smile*).

Feel free to talk openly, and to ask questions of me, if you like - I am an open book.

(((hugs)))

...jlynne

 

Oops! Correction

Posted by jlynne on May 12, 2004, at 11:59:09

In reply to Getting to know each other . . ., posted by jlynne on May 12, 2004, at 0:36:45

My brain gets a little foggy . . . I am 54, not 57 (not that 57 is *bad*!!) *smile*

...jlynne

 

Re: Freefall...Tears well in my eyes

Posted by firenrain on May 13, 2004, at 19:20:15

In reply to Re: Freefall, posted by loser on May 9, 2004, at 3:28:54

Tears welled up in my eyes when I read your posts. When you say you are a loser I feel you believe that deep in your heart. So sorry to hear you feel you have just been surviving. I can sooo relate to both feelings. The support here is priceless. I am greatful to say I feel I am just begining to come out of this funk that I've been in for about a year. I'm treatment resistant too. I have recently added Lamictal (newer anti- siezure/mood stab)now up to 200mg. along w/seroquel and welbutrin. I must say I think the fog is lifting...About the loser name, I think many of us here understand your pain. It sound like it is severe right now. I don't believe you are a loser (nor do the others it seems)and I am sorry your thpst said it was your poor attitude, when the dark glasses of depression are on every thing seems bleak. I hope you can get those glasses off soon. You are in my prayers...and FREEFALL is nice. Sincerely.

 

Re: Getting to know each other . . .

Posted by loser on May 14, 2004, at 1:30:09

In reply to Getting to know each other . . ., posted by jlynne on May 12, 2004, at 0:36:45

jlynne,

Thanks for your note. Things are some better right now (knock wood!). I'm glad you added that being 57 is not bad because that is what I am - smile! I was only married once for three years which was quite enough. We did have two great kids - now adults (30&32) and doing well. I have worked for the postal service for 26 years. It pays the bills. I went off of a low dose of Effexor recently because it wasn't helping. I use Ativan for sleep but am trying to use it less often.
I really don't exactly know all the ins and outs of talking here - I am not exactly a social being. I do know it was very helpful when I wrote last week and people here responded because I was in a very bad place at that time and very alone. Being totally unable to do anything and thinking only about suicide is a drag at best. Now in however long this space is that I feel better I am trying to get up for my trip in June. I guess I'm talking to much. Thanks again for writing. freefall

 

Re: Freefall...Tears well in my eyes

Posted by loser on May 14, 2004, at 1:37:56

In reply to Re: Freefall...Tears well in my eyes, posted by firenrain on May 13, 2004, at 19:20:15

firenrain,
Thanks for writing. Wish I could find a med. that worked long term. Usually If they work at all it is only for 6 months to a year - long enough to get my hopes up then I crash again. Tougher to take the older I get but thanks in part to the people here I am in a better place this week than last. I hope your fog continues to lift and you can stay clear and strong for some time to come. Take care. freefall

 

Freefall

Posted by jlynne on May 19, 2004, at 23:31:04

In reply to Re: Freefall...Tears well in my eyes, posted by loser on May 14, 2004, at 1:37:56

Hey, girl . . . haven't heard from you lately. When is your upcoming trip going to happen?

Hope all is well.

I know what you mean about getting your hopes up with the meds; I have been trying off and on for almost thirty years. And you are also right about this board - the people here help at least as much as the meds do.

Here's hoping to hear from you soon:^)

...jlynne


This is the end of the thread.


Show another thread

URL of post in thread:


Psycho-Babble Social | Extras | FAQ


[dr. bob] Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD, bob@dr-bob.org

Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.