Psycho-Babble Social Thread 254508

Shown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

My job

Posted by Dinah on August 26, 2003, at 21:11:01

My coworker's going to quit work for a while and be a mom. I sooooo want to be able to do that. :(

I think at this point, half my problems are caused by stressed burnout from the deadline driven on and off, feast or famine nature of my work. I'm just coming off a slow period, and gearing up into one deadline after another (starting with tomorrow's deadline). And you'd think the slow months would have given me time to recharge my batteries. But I'm tireder and stressed just starting the busy season. Every year seems a bit worse.

Just griping...

 

Re: I know what might help

Posted by Dinah on August 26, 2003, at 21:14:06

In reply to My job, posted by Dinah on August 26, 2003, at 21:11:01

Since my prior boss left, I just haven't been getting the positive feedback I used to get. The new ones don't realize the work involved in what I do, and just complain.

I think it would be way easier to get up the motivation to work if I got positive feedback. And I guess negative feedback sort of feeds on itself. I get discouraged and stressed and my work suffers, causing more negative feedback, endless loop.

 

Re: I know what might help Dinah

Posted by fallsfall on August 26, 2003, at 22:30:33

In reply to Re: I know what might help, posted by Dinah on August 26, 2003, at 21:14:06

That makes so much sense. Do you think that you could explain it to your boss???????

 

Re: I know what might help Dinah

Posted by deirdrehbrt on August 26, 2003, at 22:57:14

In reply to Re: I know what might help, posted by Dinah on August 26, 2003, at 21:14:06

Dinah,
I once worked for a boss who was much better at negative feedback than positive. Sometimes it was really difficult for me. There were though, those rare times when He would say "Good Job", and on my reviews he showed that he realized what I was really doing.
Sometimes, when he was getting negative, I would let him know via status reports, what exactly my work involved. Eventually the weekly status reports became standard for the department. Even still, he would occasionally get negative but he was under incredible pressure, and some of it flowed down.
I guess that my 'advice' is to find a way to let your boss know what it is that you *are* doing and what it takes. That's some of the information that many people who are supervising someone in a position that they haven't overseen before, or for some time, don't know what that job entails.
I'm probably not clear here, as I'm very tired, but I hope that all works out well.
Dee.

 

Re: I know what might help

Posted by Tabitha on August 26, 2003, at 23:02:15

In reply to Re: I know what might help, posted by Dinah on August 26, 2003, at 21:14:06

did you ever try giving yourself a little positive feedback? I know it seems silly, but sometimes I talk to myself just like I'd talk to a child-- 'good job!' 'you did such good work today!' etc etc. I think it actually helps a little.

 

Re: I know what might help Tabitha

Posted by Penny on August 27, 2003, at 9:02:31

In reply to Re: I know what might help, posted by Tabitha on August 26, 2003, at 23:02:15

I agree with Tabitha. A friend of mine has resorted to giving herself a big ol' pat on the back when she does something good at work. I also agree with the idea of sharing a progress report of sorts with your boss so he knows what's going on and has more opportunity to praise you. Of course, in my situation, that has created more stress, which can be the case if you are having a hard time with motivation, but, hey, it's worth a shot!

I'll give you a pat on the back and a "Good girl!"

P

 

Dagblastit again - above for Dinah!!! (nm)

Posted by Penny on August 27, 2003, at 9:03:11

In reply to Re: I know what might help Tabitha, posted by Penny on August 27, 2003, at 9:02:31

 

Re: I know what might help

Posted by Tabitha on August 27, 2003, at 12:00:53

In reply to Re: I know what might help Tabitha, posted by Penny on August 27, 2003, at 9:02:31

Dinah, my only other tip.. On my job I was forced to write a weekly status report listing what I'd accomplished that week. At first it was an annoying chore, but then it became a useful ritual for me. On my sabbatical I decided to keep doing it. I find I can FEEL like I haven't accomplished anything at all, but then I look at the list and realized I've done a lot. It's a good reality check. (Since I don't have a boss to send them to anymore, I take the report to therapy. She's also encouraging me to add 'healthy thoughts' as well as actions, but I like to limit it to actions.)

 

Re: Will wonders never cease?

Posted by Dinah on August 27, 2003, at 12:23:53

In reply to Re: I know what might help, posted by Tabitha on August 27, 2003, at 12:00:53

I met the deadline by staying up till 5:30 this morning then waking up two hours later to make the meeting. I took a fairly active role in the meeting and afterwards this boss told me I had done a really good job. He didn't even mind that I had scaled back what I had *intended* to have ready for the meeting to what I *could* have ready.

And thinking about it, I think part of the problem might be lack of confidence on his part. He's new to this job, and I think he wants to feel like he's more of a part of it. So he needs to come up with better ways of doing things, and in the process implies that I'm not doing things well. My work was split up so that I now answer to four bosses, and this is the only one I have this trouble with. And I guess I'm not as diplomatic as I could be in pointing out the flaws in his proposals. :) Maybe as he gets more familiar, and sees why we do things the way we do them, as he did today, he'll quit with the negative approach.

Of course, he's also known far and wide in the office for his negative approach at management, so maybe not. :)

Oh well, I feel competent again today. Or maybe that's the buzz from only having a few hours sleep the last few nights. lol.

 

Re: Will wonders never cease? Dinah

Posted by fallsfall on August 27, 2003, at 14:19:59

In reply to Re: Will wonders never cease?, posted by Dinah on August 27, 2003, at 12:23:53

Good for you!!!!!!!

You worked really hard, you did what could be done, you presented it well, and everybody was happy. Everybody is the client, your boss, and YOU!

You sound very competent.

Print out this thread to remind you the next time.


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