Psycho-Babble Social Thread 253882

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Please Help Me! What the heck am I doing?

Posted by Susan J on August 25, 2003, at 12:46:13

Ok

Bright me, decided to take a 2 week solo vacation to Montreal to improve my gosh-awful french. The school I'm going to advertised classes in the morning and activities to do at night. Well, of the two weeks I'm here, looks like they've got 4 nights scheduled (tonight's not one of them) and most of those are just going to bars, which really isn't my thing with a bunch of strangers.

And most of the students are German, speak French pretty darned well, so my hanging out with them really slows down the French, and they speak mostly German when they are together anyway. :-(

So, I'm so awfully lonely and sad right now, all alone, it's ridiculous. I even signed up for the personals here a couple of months before I came up just to hang out with someone. No one was interested (at least not interest in "that").

And I get awfully depressed when I'm alone, and here I am 12 hours by car away from my house and what the heck was I thinking?

Any suggestions on how to survive these next 2 weeks? Why, exactly, am I spending part of my vacation crying at a computer in an internet cafe??

Susan

 

Re: I can't believe how SAD I am....Sux. (nm)

Posted by Susan J on August 25, 2003, at 13:19:42

In reply to Please Help Me! What the heck am I doing?, posted by Susan J on August 25, 2003, at 12:46:13

 

Re: Please Help Me! What the heck am I doing?

Posted by Sabina on August 25, 2003, at 13:42:44

In reply to Please Help Me! What the heck am I doing?, posted by Susan J on August 25, 2003, at 12:46:13

are there any museums or art galleries? maybe you could find something like that. or maybe you could find an art supply store and find a little project that appeals to you? maybe you could find some kids (university, high school) that would love to practice english one you? of course, mind you don't get arrested for trying to pick up underage boys! ;) i don't know. those are a couple of suggestions anyway. i'm sorry you're having a bad time. does it make any difference to hear how lucky i think you are for getting to go in the first place? bon chance!

 

Re: Please Help Me! What the heck am I doing? » Susan J

Posted by fallsfall on August 25, 2003, at 13:55:46

In reply to Please Help Me! What the heck am I doing?, posted by Susan J on August 25, 2003, at 12:46:13

What a hard position to be in! I have a couple of suggestions:

amique@amiquebec.org is the email address for AMI-Quebec (Alliance for the Mentally Ill). They might know of a support group meeting, or lecture that you could go to (or might know someone willing to meet you for coffee). Also check local hospitals to find out if they have a support group.

If you can find someplace like a mall, where people would be hanging out. Lots of people would think that it was cool to help someone work on her French.

I know that craft stores around here often have one session classes, I don't know about Montreal.

Maybe a Lawyer's association is having a meeting/speaker.

What are your hobbies? Can you find people who share those hobbies? (I ice skate, so even if I didn't bring my skates, I could go to a rink and have something to talk about with people there.)

If worst comes to worst, buy a book and sit in a busy spot to read and people watch. Or buy a book called something like "How to learn French in 30 days" and read it so everyone can see the title.

Is there someone who isn't from Germany who is also feeling left out?

It could be worse - you could be in [insert the name of an ugly US city]...

Good Luck!

 

Re: Please Help Me! What the heck am I doing?

Posted by kara lynne on August 25, 2003, at 14:32:20

In reply to Please Help Me! What the heck am I doing?, posted by Susan J on August 25, 2003, at 12:46:13

Hi Susan,
Sorry you're having a difficult time. The only thing I can offer is that when I was in Montreal I found most everyone I met to be really nice. I almost considered living there, I liked the people and the feel of the place so much. Of course going alone requires more courage than I had; I was just out a few days by myself when I was there. But maybe after the initial adjustment period you'll find yourself among people and places you like.

I'm hoping for you.

 

Re: Please Help Me! What the heck am I doing?

Posted by Penny on August 25, 2003, at 15:16:16

In reply to Please Help Me! What the heck am I doing?, posted by Susan J on August 25, 2003, at 12:46:13

I really like the others' ideas of museums, lectures, people watching (that's always my favorite), etc. Perhaps if you are reading a book in English in a public place, people will notice and speak to you. Or sit down on a bench somewhere and just strike up conversation with the person next to you. If they speak fluent French, explain how you want to work on your French - people are usually fascinated by others who aren't from their area! At least that's what I've found.

Take care and try to not let yourself fall too deep...

P

 

Re: Please Help Me! What the heck am I doing?

Posted by Tabitha on August 25, 2003, at 17:37:54

In reply to Please Help Me! What the heck am I doing?, posted by Susan J on August 25, 2003, at 12:46:13

Yuck, how awful. I wish I had some helpful suggestions. Reminds me of my one trip to Europe, the nightmare vacation from hell with a female friend who managed to hook up with a French guy on the plane over, spent the whole week either with him, or fighting with me, leaving me to wander Paris ALONE with woefully inadequate language skills. But, horror that the trip was, it was still somehow a memorable experience.

I'll be wishing you a surprise meeting with some really cool English-speaking person/people to hang out with. It could all turn around in a minute. Or you could get into a meaningful solitude state. Or find some really great stuff shopping.

 

Thanks!

Posted by Susan J on August 25, 2003, at 18:13:57

In reply to Please Help Me! What the heck am I doing?, posted by Susan J on August 25, 2003, at 12:46:13

You guys are the coolest. Thank you so much. Well, I dragged myself out of my dismal little room, went to the infotouriste center, got some info on how to fill up my weekend, and...

saw a guy peeing on the side of his seemingly oblivious girl friend's car while he was shouting at someone across the street. In the day light!

Now, if that didn't make me laugh... :-)

I also got the desk at the Y to get me a TV when someone else checks out (they don't have enough to go around). That will help me from my news withdraw.

And I found it's really safe for a single woman to go to the theatres around here at night, so I'm going to see a french movie.

Thank you so much. You don't know how much it means to me to get some help from you guys. :-)

Susan

 

Re: Thanks! » Susan J

Posted by Kar on August 25, 2003, at 21:21:31

In reply to Thanks!, posted by Susan J on August 25, 2003, at 18:13:57

Susan- i really have nothing to add to all of the great ideas and possibilities for you. I think we all know that "lonely". No matter what our lives are, who we're with, where we are. That's why we have this board!

>a guy peeing on the side of his seemingly oblivious girl friend's car while he was shouting at someone across the street. In the day light!

Ayyyycellent. Now that's what makes life grand. And good for you for noticing and appreciating such little gifts. i was kidding on that last part.

Can you rent a car up there and just zoom off somewhere when you don't have a class? i know Montreal is supposed to be amazing...but if you needed it maybe you could get away?
How long how you been there- less than a week, right?

Hang in. You'll look back on this someday. And laugh or cry but definitely be proud of yourself for doing it! Write down the peeing on cars type of incidents...they'll be fun to read later too!

 

Thank goodness for Internet Cafe's (nm)

Posted by KimberlyDi on August 28, 2003, at 15:40:42

In reply to Please Help Me! What the heck am I doing?, posted by Susan J on August 25, 2003, at 12:46:13


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