Psycho-Babble Social Thread 251724

Shown: posts 1 to 13 of 13. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

I'm Okay Dinah, thank you : )

Posted by gabbix2 on August 17, 2003, at 22:26:32

Really I am okay, my moods pretty good.
Its all past things really, and I've stopped taking paxil, ( a good thing)
I think it was perhaps too much with my other medications and causeing me to just accept behaviour from people that I shouldn't.

Mostly the anger was things that there can't realy be any thing done about now, you know
like people who should have protected me when I was a kid and didn't. People who should be in jail and aren't.
I guess writing it all out
one after the other was like seeing it as someone elses life, and I honestly wondered how this person had lived through it (truly)

And still having parents who know about some really gruesome things (recent( I would never disclose in a forum like this. And still insist
I'm lazy. Its anger. And I get angry that I'm the one taking the extra valium. Not the Ad's I've always needed those.
I think what topped it off was recently about 8 weeks ago after INSISTING he had no money to help me with therapy, and knowing how badly i've been abused.
My dad actually got his nose out of joint because I wouldn't take a set of 10 prepaid chiropractic sessions that would have cost more than 800.00.
This guy convinced him it would cure my depression. I'm not saying it wouldn't be a good thing, I was just seeing red, because as far as I see it if you have 'no money' you have 'no money'
. I'd been asking for therapy help for over a year.
It was one of his friends who molested me! And when a male babysitter we had as kids did that as well when I was 4 my dad gave the guy a 'talking too' and he's a COP! My dad, not the babysitter

Aacck. And now I'm getting all angry again.

This is just the nice stuff I'm telling you about too. Sometimes I wish I drank.

Truly though I am okay. I'm just feeling anger
for the first time in a very long time.
Well since my P.Doc put me on Effexor anyway ;)

 

Re: I'm Okay Dinah, thank you : ) gabbix2

Posted by fallsfall on August 18, 2003, at 8:53:12

In reply to I'm Okay Dinah, thank you : ), posted by gabbix2 on August 17, 2003, at 22:26:32

I'm glad you don't drink.

You have had things happen in your life that never should have happened. You have every right to be angry.

((((Gabbix))))

 

Re: I'm Okay Dinah, thank you : ) gabbix2

Posted by Dinah on August 18, 2003, at 9:19:04

In reply to I'm Okay Dinah, thank you : ), posted by gabbix2 on August 17, 2003, at 22:26:32

I'm sorry, Gabbi Gabbi. That is so much to have to deal with. Memories are powerful things, especially to have to deal with alone. And you have so much to be angry about. Tell me, does the school you are going to start this year have a counselor?

Parents. What can I say. Sometimes it's healthier just to disengage emotionally. For some reason, no matter how old you get, parents have the ability to hurt you worse than anyone.

School should be starting soon. Are you excited? All that simple hard memorization work might be able to help you feel better through sheer distraction. Are there a lot of students at your school?

(((Gabbi)))

Treat yourself as lovingly as we here at Babble would like to treat you.

 

Re: I'm Okay Dinah, thank you : ) gabbix2

Posted by Susan J on August 18, 2003, at 13:09:25

In reply to I'm Okay Dinah, thank you : ), posted by gabbix2 on August 17, 2003, at 22:26:32

> Mostly the anger was things that there can't realy be any thing done about now, you know
like people who should have protected me when I was a kid and didn't. People who should be in jail and aren't.
<<Wow, you have a lot to be angry about, and rightfully so. I hope you don't mind a stranger jumping in on your conversation, but your post really touched me.

> I think what topped it off was recently about 8 weeks ago after INSISTING he had no money to help me with therapy, and knowing how badly i've been abused. My dad actually got his nose out of joint because I wouldn't take a set of 10 prepaid chiropractic sessions that would have cost more than 800.00. ...because as far as I see it if you have 'no money' you have 'no money.'

<<So often parents, no matter how hard they try, don't handle situations properly. In his own way, I'm sure your father is trying to help you.
I wish he could somehow realize that he needs to listen to "you" and what "you" need. How old are you? Can you get insurance on your own?

I can see that you've transcended your father in emotional maturity. He's emotionally unhealthy and probably not the best provider of support. I'm not sure who posted it, but whomever said it might be best to disengage emotionally has a good point. If you are living with him, however, that might be really tough to do. The fact that you want therapy probably is a constant reminder to him that he has failed you, and with long-lasting consequences. He might only be able to handle the thought of something safe like chiropractic, rather than psychological help.

You sound like a very strong person with a good head on your shoulders. Even if your father cannot or will not grow emotionally, you can, and you have. I wish you the best with everything.


 

Re: I'm Okay Dinah, thank you : ) gabbix2

Posted by Susan J on August 18, 2003, at 13:12:49

In reply to I'm Okay Dinah, thank you : ), posted by gabbix2 on August 17, 2003, at 22:26:32

Oh,

And I don't know if you or anyone else has ever seen this on-line psychological self-help book, but I've found it very helpful. It explains different emotions, what causes them, what causes anger, how to deal with it, how to deal with family issues, etc. Maybe you'll find something that helps. :-)

http://www.mhnet.org/psyhelp/

 

thanks guys

Posted by gabbix2 on August 18, 2003, at 15:25:56

In reply to Re: I'm Okay Dinah, thank you : ) gabbix2, posted by fallsfall on August 18, 2003, at 8:53:12


You know I never thought to check to see if my school has a counsellor, it probably does though.
Its a University/College not huge but big enough that it probably has a few 'extra's

I wish I was excited I think I'll feel better once I get there. I don't feel much of anything these days except angry! and of course bored and poor. I'm just tired.

And I'm going to be slightly better off financially while I'm going to school, but I'm just wearing out as far as the poverty goes.
I know it won't be forever at least I think it won't but you know how depression keeps you from feeling that.

And I think what I hate the most about depression is that it keeps us from feelng any sense of pride what we've survived. takes that People say but "Look what you've overcome"
If you can't feel it though, it doesn't seem like much.

And Susan J I certainly do not mind you as you said "jumping in" I'm grateful you did.
Thank you. This is my only therapy, so I really appreciate you recommending that book. I'll have to see if its in the library.

 

Re: thanks guys gabbix2

Posted by Susan J on August 18, 2003, at 15:42:36

In reply to thanks guys, posted by gabbix2 on August 18, 2003, at 15:25:56

>
> You know I never thought to check to see if my school has a counsellor, it probably does though.
> Its a University/College not huge but big enough that it probably has a few 'extra's

<<My ex-boyfriend went to a community college in Maryland, and he got a FABULOUS counselor/therapist through the school for free. It's definitely worth looking into. The therapist even saw him after he "graduated" because they had an established relationship and knew the ex was broke, having gone back to school.

>> And I think what I hate the most about depression is that it keeps us from feelng any sense of pride what we've survived. takes that People say but "Look what you've overcome"
If you can't feel it though, it doesn't seem like much.
<<I know it sucks when you don't "feel" it, but I "really" think you are strong and headed in the right direction. What you've written on this board has given me hope, has made me feel better. And I think that's the greatest thing another human being can do -- make this life a little easier for someone else.

>
> And Susan J I certainly do not mind you as you said "jumping in" I'm grateful you did.
> Thank you. This is my only therapy, so I really appreciate you recommending that book. I'll have to see if its in the library.
<< Great! The book is on-line. It's free, and broken down by chapter and subheadings. You can print it out if you want -- but I found that to be tedious. I just read it online while I'm at work. :-)

They always say life is the journey, not the destination. For us, I think, the journey is very very difficult, and we'd give anything (I know I would) to reach the destination that makes us happy and comfortable in our own skin.
I personally think you are very successful in your journey. You have great insight, both into yourself and others. And I love how you phrase stuff. You should be a writer. :-)

I think part of healing is to help others heal. And you (and others) are helping "me" heal.

Susan

 

Wow great stuff Susan J

Posted by Gabbix2 on August 18, 2003, at 16:34:03

In reply to Re: thanks guys gabbix2, posted by Susan J on August 18, 2003, at 15:42:36

Susan I have so much I want to say to your post, but I'm hopelessly, happily lost in the online book you recommended. Gosh its been forever since I've been able to focus on anything.
Thank you so much!

 

Re: Wow great stuff Gabbix2

Posted by Susan J on August 19, 2003, at 9:07:45

In reply to Wow great stuff Susan J, posted by Gabbix2 on August 18, 2003, at 16:34:03

Excellent! Glad you like it! I really liked how it compiles various psychological theories about certain issues. Let's you decide which is "right."

I found a lot of helpful stuff in there for me....Hope you do too.

Susan

 

Re: thanks guys Susan J

Posted by Gabbix2 on August 19, 2003, at 18:14:51

In reply to Re: thanks guys gabbix2, posted by Susan J on August 18, 2003, at 15:42:36

They always say life is the journey, not the destination. For us, I think, the journey is very very difficult, and we'd give anything (I know I would) to reach the destination that makes us happy and comfortable in our own skin.
I personally think you are very successful in your journey. You have great insight, both into yourself and others. And I love how you phrase stuff. You should be a writer. :-)

I think part of healing is to help others heal. And you (and others) are helping "me" heal

Those we're beautiful things you said Susan, thank you so much, I actually did felt them'too!
The thought that I might have made a difference
is amazing, and it made my day, well far more than that actually.
I'm so glad you joined us here. Its true the people here are wonderful.
Well there have been too many times to count where they've helped me through situations I honestly cannot imagine having gotten through without them. And those are NOT just words.

One in particular stands out in my mind, where I was absolutely humiliated 'publicly' by someone I thought was a dear friend privately and here on babble. I wasn't in great shape to begin with,
but I was absolutely devasted and bewildered. Well those are understatements.

Not only did people speak up in my defence,
a group of the women here ended up having me laugh about it. I wish I could give more details I'm not sure if its permitted, but trust me I never ever thought I could end up laughing about it. The power we have to help each heal other even though it may be through such a seemingly impersonal medium, is truly amazing.



 

Re: thanks guys Gabbix2

Posted by Susan J on August 21, 2003, at 14:05:29

In reply to Re: thanks guys Susan J, posted by Gabbix2 on August 19, 2003, at 18:14:51

Hi,

For some reason, I didn't see this post until today.

> The thought that I might have made a difference
> is amazing, and it made my day, well far more than that actually.
<<I'm serious about that. As a "word" person, seeing supportive stuff from real people who face their own little hel*s each day is really helpful to me. Makes me think God isn't ganging up on me alone. Not that I want anyone else to suffer, I really don't. Just nice to know others can relate. :-)

> One in particular stands out in my mind, where I was absolutely humiliated 'publicly' by someone I thought was a dear friend privately and here on babble. I wasn't in great shape to begin with,
but I was absolutely devasted and bewildered. Well those are understatements.
>>Even though I don't know the specifics, I've been betrayed by people I was really close to as well, so I feel for you. Nobody can hurt you like the ones you love.

>
> Not only did people speak up in my defence,
> a group of the women here ended up having me laugh about it.
<<That's great. :-)

>>I wish I could give more details I'm not sure if its permitted, but trust me I never ever thought I could end up laughing about it. The power we have to help each heal other even though it may be through such a seemingly impersonal medium, is truly amazing.
<<No details necessary. I've already seen some of the, hmmm, *odd* things posted on these boards. I guess I'll have to be here longer to see if some of these *odd* posts are done out of ignorance to how they might affect other readers, or if they knowingly mean to be hurtful. (I'll laugh so hard if someone asks me what I mean by *odd*).

I guess it *is* impersonal in a way. But in another, with the shield of anonymity, I think people feel freer to post more intimate stuff.

Cheers.

Susan

 

Just me rambling.. Susan J

Posted by Gabbix2 on August 21, 2003, at 14:29:24

In reply to Re: thanks guys Gabbix2, posted by Susan J on August 21, 2003, at 14:05:29

Odd? I can only guess what you mean by that.
I think you must be being very civil ;)

Well the particular shall we say *extremely*
odd post that I can now laugh at, offered:

Ugly naked pictures of me, online.
See! Of course there were no naked pictures,
but how would anyone know? And the Ugly, well that would wound just about any woman, never mind when you're already feeling vulnerable.

I still can't believe I can laugh at that now, Actually I can't believe I can even mention it now. There was more which I won't get into.
But I think it says a lot when a group of people can end up making you laugh at someing like that.






 

Re: Just me rambling.. Gabbix2

Posted by Susan J on August 21, 2003, at 14:46:29

In reply to Just me rambling.. Susan J, posted by Gabbix2 on August 21, 2003, at 14:29:24

Wow. That must have really sucked. What a (fill in the blank).

I'm glad you've got friends who can make you laugh at something like that. There's not enough happiness, or consideration, or compassion in the world sometimes. It's beautiful when you see it.

And I think laughter is happiness at its best. :-)

S.


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