Psycho-Babble Social Thread 222152

Shown: posts 1 to 21 of 21. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

I'm lonely.

Posted by kara lynne on April 24, 2003, at 21:30:31

I'm in for the night. Alone. Again. With nothing but my I-want-to-die thoughts. My counselor sez they're from the abandoned child-- unstable surroundings, blah blah. Triggered by an unreliable man who keeps pushing the same buttons. I'm supposed to "not abandon myself". How can you think, "I want to die" and not abandon yourself?

My reliably abandoning boyfriend left me a xerox copy of a check R.Crumb sent to him. We live together and I haven't seen him in three days. This is his great love offering.

The mush makes it so hard to move--to get out of the mush.

 

Re: I'm sorry. » kara lynne

Posted by Dinah on April 24, 2003, at 21:53:08

In reply to I'm lonely., posted by kara lynne on April 24, 2003, at 21:30:31

(((Kara Lynne)))

I understand fears of abandonment all too well. And I am sorry you're having to go through this. For whatever it's worth, I think Bozeman's right. You're stronger than you think. You made it through your childhood, and you can make it through this.

I don't suppose it will help, but I suspect you may well have been way lonelier for a lot longer had you stayed with him. Maybe you could do as your therapist suggested, and spend this time getting to know and love Kara Lynne as you deserve.

 

Re: I'm lonely. and I am too

Posted by lostsailor on April 24, 2003, at 22:36:06

In reply to I'm lonely., posted by kara lynne on April 24, 2003, at 21:30:31

Roomates????
Panties and pillow fights
I'll do the drag thing
at least it's new.

I am so sick of singlehood
Like you,
I also hate feeling single
when involved

Did Adam feel that way about Eve?
was he jealous of the snake?
Did he giggle and give the idea to Freud...

whatever happened to the I am in a love/hate relationship with NY bumperstikers
i could affix one to forehead

~me

 

Re: I'm sorry./ Dinah

Posted by kara lynne on April 24, 2003, at 22:49:26

In reply to Re: I'm sorry. » kara lynne, posted by Dinah on April 24, 2003, at 21:53:08

Thanks Dinah. My therapist said the same today-- to remember there won't be much to miss about the relationship. Still I think the loneliness is just going to swallow me up sometimes.

Thank you for posting.

 

The long, winding road.

Posted by kara lynne on April 24, 2003, at 22:54:13

In reply to I'm lonely., posted by kara lynne on April 24, 2003, at 21:30:31

This morning I woke up from a dream so sad it felt unbearable--in it the Beatle's "Long and Winding Road" was playing. How does the mind go rummage through its own cd collection? I couldn't have picked sadder or more appropriate background music had I been awake.

 

Re: I'm lonely. and I am too/ sailor

Posted by kara lynne on April 24, 2003, at 22:57:05

In reply to Re: I'm lonely. and I am too, posted by lostsailor on April 24, 2003, at 22:36:06

Popeye the drag queen. Yes, let's play.

 

Re: I'm lonely.lynne

Posted by justyourlaugh on April 24, 2003, at 22:57:25

In reply to Re: I'm lonely. and I am too, posted by lostsailor on April 24, 2003, at 22:36:06

lynne,
all things aside,,i think tony needs to get laid..
sorry hun,,you never asked me:(jk
lynne,
do you believe you are ill because of your past?
do you think you may feel just as bad if you "had it all" ?
does not "stress" bring on the "grandious"aspects of mental illness...give yourself a break...
this is your hand...mabe bluff a bit through the hard times...and people will not notice you are not holding through the good...
j

 

Re: I'm lonely. and I am too

Posted by Dinah on April 24, 2003, at 22:58:45

In reply to Re: I'm lonely. and I am too, posted by lostsailor on April 24, 2003, at 22:36:06

I guess I'm a fine one to talk. I went from living as a daughter in my parents' home to living as a wife. So I've never really been single.

But sometimes I'm struck with how much more alone I feel when I'm with someone than I am alone. That's what I was thinking, really, when I posted.

My husband was sitting on the couch, sending out waves of disapproval. And that familiar flat feeling was in the pit of my stomach. And I was feeling so alienated and much worse than I feel when alone.

But it's probably not the same to be alone for a day or so at a time, so perhaps I shouldn't think of that as aloneness.

Disclaimer: Husband is a terrific guy. He just holds himself and others to very high standards, which is a wonderful thing in many many circumstances. And he's getting much much more tolerant about realizing that others might not be able to live up to those standards.

 

Re: I'm lonely. and I am too » Dinah

Posted by justyourlaugh on April 24, 2003, at 23:23:43

In reply to Re: I'm lonely. and I am too, posted by Dinah on April 24, 2003, at 22:58:45

dinah,,
i too went from childhood to wife..
my "guy" is away alot..and i hate it...i got married so i wouldnt be alone...
gee..he hates everyone..or atlest when i see him he is venting his frusrations...
they love to be treated like babies..
can i get you a "baba"of beer?
can i "stroke" your head(oh my my my)?
can i blow a raspberry on your belly?
did "they" go from apron strings....to us as well?
i do believe..
j

 

Re: I'm lonely. and I am too/ dinah

Posted by kara lynne on April 24, 2003, at 23:34:57

In reply to Re: I'm lonely. and I am too, posted by Dinah on April 24, 2003, at 22:58:45

That's major progress--good for him. But boy, my father was a master of those waves of disapproval. I can still feel them.

It can be lonelier sometimes when you're with someone but feeling distanced. I'm hoping I'll feel some relief when I finally move--at least I won't keep getting salt rubbed in the wound. I won't keep hearing him not be home.

 

Re: I'm lonely. and I am too » justyourlaugh

Posted by Dinah on April 24, 2003, at 23:35:35

In reply to Re: I'm lonely. and I am too » Dinah, posted by justyourlaugh on April 24, 2003, at 23:23:43

Oh, that must be frustrating! I guess no matter what our significant others are like there will be drawbacks. My husband could use a bit more of that babyness. He tries way too hard to be grownup. I would hate the travelling too. My husband tries really hard not to have to travel. Of course that's because he thinks I can't handle things adequately while he's gone. This despite the fact that he did have to travel several times, and the world didn't fall apart. Things may not have been done as he would have done them, but they did get done.

Of course the honest thing for me to admit is that as I was sitting feeling the waves of disapproval and feeling lonely, he was probably sitting there feeling pretty lonely too. Thinking why on earth couldn't I have married someone who is a grown woman and able to do things as she should so that I don't have to carry the whole burden on myself.

Oh the loneliness we heap on those we're closest to. I think I'll go sympathize with him. And he of course will have no idea why I'm suddenly feeling sympathetic towards him and will wonder what sort of lunatic he married. (yet again) Grin.

Did you ever notice that the things that annoy us most about our mates are the flip side of the things we most like about them? Is your husband by any chance endearingly vulnerable in addition to annoyingly babyish?

 

Re: I'm lonely. and I am too » kara lynne

Posted by Dinah on April 24, 2003, at 23:39:41

In reply to Re: I'm lonely. and I am too/ dinah, posted by kara lynne on April 24, 2003, at 23:34:57

Ouch. That must have hurt growing up. That was one flaw my parents missed. They might have radiated fury, but not that cool disapproval.

I think you're right and you will feel better when you're truly away. Not being at home can sound awfully loud and intrusive sometimes.

 

me too...errrr

Posted by lostsailor on April 24, 2003, at 23:57:06

In reply to Re: I'm lonely. and I am too » kara lynne, posted by Dinah on April 24, 2003, at 23:39:41

great parents
Dad's deceased now
mom still picks up
my china doll pieces.

Education: small close-knit school.
Friends: galore
Now all but gone;
I'm modern folklore.

What to do???I am nice and sweet but
will no longer kiss feet.
(well not in the context of begging)

I love love and am single.
I am a male Sandra Bullock
both of us lack breasts
and are proud of it.

If you are rich, I am single

If you are poor, I'm still single.
money does not but me love...

Ugg john. paul, george and ringo, forgive me for forgetting lines...
Or doe Mike Jackson get the letters
and the royalties???

 

curious... » Dinah

Posted by Eddie Sylvano on April 25, 2003, at 10:51:12

In reply to Re: I'm lonely. and I am too, posted by Dinah on April 24, 2003, at 22:58:45

> My husband was sitting on the couch, sending out waves of disapproval. And that familiar flat feeling was in the pit of my stomach. And I was feeling so alienated and much worse than I feel when alone.
-----------------

Does your husband ever browse through the PB boards? It might be informative for him. People seem to give more creedence to arguments/concerns not directed towards themselves.
It's so sad to read about people being neglected so. Everyone needs a warm embrace and kind words during the course of a day.

 

Re: me too...errrr » lostsailor

Posted by Tabitha on April 25, 2003, at 13:27:56

In reply to me too...errrr, posted by lostsailor on April 24, 2003, at 23:57:06

to quote fab four..
even if you won't flirt with me no more..

Dig it Dig it Dig it Dig it Dig it Dig it Dig it Dig it

 

Re: curious... » Eddie Sylvano

Posted by Dinah on April 25, 2003, at 13:45:28

In reply to curious... » Dinah, posted by Eddie Sylvano on April 25, 2003, at 10:51:12

I'd have his liver for lunch if he ever broke his word of honor to never look at these boards. :)

Actually, he's not a bad guy, and he does give many warm embraces and kind words, even approving ones on occasion.

The funny thing is that I went to him last night after I wrote the post admitting that he was probably feeling just as lonely. I told him more or less the same thing I said in that post. And he blew it!!!! Some people haven't got the sense the good lord gave a flea.

After I had reassured him that I hadn't meant it as a criticism of him, he apparently decided that I must have meant it as a criticism of myself. He congratulated me happily on my perception and proceeded to start to list all the many ways I make him feel lonely.

Sheesh.

I let him know that that was also not my purpose in sharing and sympathizing. I'll try again later, I suppose. :)

 

im sorry to kara lynne » kara lynne

Posted by sienna on April 25, 2003, at 14:49:45

In reply to I'm lonely., posted by kara lynne on April 24, 2003, at 21:30:31

i feel that way a lot to. my boyfreind is nice but most the time i dont think he really likes me.

im sorry your feeling so lonly.
sienna

 

Thank you sweet sienna.

Posted by kara lynne on April 25, 2003, at 15:22:30

In reply to im sorry to kara lynne » kara lynne, posted by sienna on April 25, 2003, at 14:49:45

Dear sienna,
Thank you for your post. It helps me to feel less lonely. I'm sorry you feel that way about your boyfriend--do you think it's that he really doesn't like you, or could it be your bad feelings coloring things in a dim light? I don't see how anyone couldn't like you! Thank you again for writing me.

 

Re: me too...errrr---tabby

Posted by lostsailor on April 25, 2003, at 18:52:47

In reply to Re: me too...errrr » lostsailor, posted by Tabitha on April 25, 2003, at 13:27:56

I love to flirt.
You of the fur lined cuff are asp fun.
This will sound odd coming from a male or is that only a stereotype(((???)), but when I see you happy with your "clean" new friend....I feel I could jinx it or just not be respecful.

But if you have that latex dress still,
I can reassemble the rack....

 

Re: me too...errrr---tabby » lostsailor

Posted by Tabitha on April 26, 2003, at 8:43:25

In reply to Re: me too...errrr---tabby, posted by lostsailor on April 25, 2003, at 18:52:47

my 'clean' friend.. hmm I don't like the sound of that. i'm doing my best to corrupt him. he sends me love poetry, i send him my thoughts about his, er, male organ. eventually we'll meet in the middle somewhere between romance and raunch, I'm hoping.

latex dress? is it cherry red? Yowza. I'm still jealous though, jyl gets the poetry, I get the S/M imagery. OK, I guess I've made my bed here with you .. now must lie in it.

 

what a lucky couple....!!!! (sigh) =:)

Posted by lostsailor on April 26, 2003, at 13:58:45

In reply to Re: me too...errrr---tabby » lostsailor, posted by Tabitha on April 26, 2003, at 8:43:25

attempts at poetry are for all, not just Shannon.
I will try my hand at a smut poem for you tabbs...
Shannon, though, with her ability to disassemble sentence structure did inspire me to begin to play with (word and syntax again) Remember, Tab., that MLS---I know very neat places in the campus' libraries…well "know of"....

love ya and who said organs can't be poetic. poetry is art look at "David's" eerrr dingy

~me


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