Psycho-Babble Social Thread 220801

Shown: posts 1 to 17 of 17. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

Spent a night in hell! Warning very Grafic languag

Posted by lawrence S. on April 20, 2003, at 2:39:47

I spent the night in the Racine co. jail. because I took off for a week for cataract sugery. My employer took me off the regular payroll, but when I went back to work they didn't put me on again like they should have. Result: No paycheck and no child support was sent to my ex with automatic payroll deduction. They hauled my ass off to jail. I told them I have severe panic disorder,deppresion, and need my medication given to me in jail or I my mind will crumble.

About 8hours behind bars a duputy guard is put in the hall with the cells. This was the conversation that took place. "lawrence your a fag right"
My reply: no I am not a fag.
Yes you are.
Then a few minutes later He said I'm gonna come in there and fuck you in the ass (snickering and laughing of deputys in the background.)
I ask: "canI use the phone?
No
I lay bckdown cover myself upwith avery stiff and scratchy blanket.
lawrence.
What?
don'tyou want to use the phone?
Yes.I stand back up by the jail door/gate
You can't use until 6:00 (5 hours away)
Lawrence.
What? do youlike ananl sex?
No I don't
Lawrence, It says here you have panic attacks.
Yes, I do.
I know a cure for panic attacks
What?
Put a plastic bag over your head and tie it around your neck. (more laughter)
lawrence.
What.
Have you ever been to the pod?
No.
whats' the pod
That were they like to fuck boyslike you.
lawrence,
What,
are you ready to go to the pod?
My wife is on her way to bail me out
No she's not. She's fucking your neighbor and sucking his cock.
Can I have my medication?
No, you just had it.
Lawrence
What
I'm looking up information on the computer
Your going to be here 75 days not 30
Lawrence
what
are you ready to go to the pod now.
No
I'll give you a jar of vaseline
If you tell them youv'e got AIDS they will leave you alone.

This conversation went on for hours. I finally stuffed toilet paper in my ears pressed my hand aginst my ears and wrapped a quilt around my head.
The noise in the cell directly across from me helped drown him out. There was a black man in the cell absolutely naked pounding on the plexiglass covering over the bars screamming, "Let me out of here I'm suicidal, I'll kill myself" This man shouted and kicked so loudly that it made my ears ring. I felt so sorry for him.

I now have severe derealization. I feel affaid that the cops want to take me away. I'm affraid to drive. When I see a police car I get shaky and my heart races. When I go in public I feel like people are staring at me because I'm a bad guy or look like a bad guy to them. I get these feelings like I'm going to do something violent to a complete stranger. Is this PTSD? I also can't concentrate. I don't know how I'm going to work. I don't want to go on AP's I would rather die. In fact I think about suicide much more now.
Please If you can give me some advice. Thanks
Sorry about the language but I am barely able to write much les find a substitute for the profanity

 

Re: Spent a night in hell! Warning very Grafic languag

Posted by whiterabbit on April 20, 2003, at 9:35:34

In reply to Spent a night in hell! Warning very Grafic languag, posted by lawrence S. on April 20, 2003, at 2:39:47

My God, did they mistake you for a pedophile? I can't imagine such treatment for missing support payments. It sounds like you do have some version of PTSD, if you're not in therapy you should get into therapy right away. Also, if you can get your hands on a video or audio tape by Wayne Dyer,
I find that this man has a terrific calming effect when my own poor soul is feeling tortured.
-Gracie

 

Re: Spent a night in hell! Warning very Grafic languag

Posted by noa on April 20, 2003, at 11:24:44

In reply to Spent a night in hell! Warning very Grafic languag, posted by lawrence S. on April 20, 2003, at 2:39:47

Oh no, that sounds horrible!

And the guard's harrassment is outrageous. I hope you have a good lawyer, not to defend you but to help you make a case against them for denying you medical care, and for sexual harassment by an employee!

 

Re: Spent a night in hell! Warning very Grafic languag » noa

Posted by fayeroe on April 20, 2003, at 11:33:38

In reply to Re: Spent a night in hell! Warning very Grafic languag, posted by noa on April 20, 2003, at 11:24:44

please accept my sorrow for your horrible night. that is one of the worst experiences that i've ever heard of! and do what noa said.....get a lawyer. try to find someone to talk to this about in person. i am so sorry this happened to you. prayers, pat

 

Re: Spent a night in hell!

Posted by leeran on April 20, 2003, at 12:28:30

In reply to Re: Spent a night in hell! Warning very Grafic languag » noa, posted by fayeroe on April 20, 2003, at 11:33:38

I just wanted to add my words of support and say how sorry I am that you endured such treatment at the hands of people who are paid with tax dollars (in a situation where you had no means of escape other than stuffing your ears).

Note: I don't mean to start a tirade against jail employees (or anyone paid with tax dollars), but these people sound horrid (like that one nasty man in "The Green Mile") and this type of treatment should be addressed. Actually, I don't even know if jail employees are paid with tax dollars but it doesn't matter if they are paid with monopoly money, it's atrocious behavior from adult human beings against another human being. Disgraceful.

Take care of yourself during this difficult time. I'm praying that your experience isn't the norm in jails across the country. I hate to be political, but many of us have been appalled by the treatment of human beings in Iraqi jails, however, abuse is abuse (physical AND mental - the US AND Iraq) and what you endured was, in my opinion, harsh mental abuse.

 

Re: Spent a night in hell! Warning very Grafic languag » lawrence S.

Posted by ayuda on April 20, 2003, at 12:39:41

In reply to Spent a night in hell! Warning very Grafic languag, posted by lawrence S. on April 20, 2003, at 2:39:47

Oh my god, I cannot believe that in this day and age crap like that happens to good people. Oh Lawrence, you have my sympathies along with everyone else's. What perverted maniacs are in charge of jails these days?

They say that there's a fine line between cop and criminal -- your story proves it. Makes me want to listen to gangsta rap! Down wid da man!

When you calm down, you DO need a good attorney, and you need to tactfully make your employer aware that you suffered this humiliation because of their screw up in payroll. Your lawyer needs to make sure that your employer, who made themselves responsible for the payroll deduction by agreement with the state, is penalized, not you.

And maybe you can file a civil suit -- I know you are not feeling up to all that, and probably feel you can't afford it, but many of us will be praying for you that you get over this and come out the better for the experience, which I know you are not seeing right now.

 

Re:

Posted by Questionmark on April 20, 2003, at 18:20:41

In reply to Re: Spent a night in hell! Warning very Grafic languag » lawrence S., posted by ayuda on April 20, 2003, at 12:39:41

i am so freaking sorry man. That story makes me FURIOUS. FURIOUS! And no, to the person who mentioned this, i don't think they thought he was a pedophile or anything, i think they're just a*sholes who get a kick out of tormenting people in their cells. It makes me sick. FREAKING SICK!@!!!
Lawrence, try to remember that these people were complete a*sholes and that most people-- and most cops and guards-- are not like that. i'm sorry that you had to deal with that sh*t though. i sincerely wish you the best of luck.
Please, please, PLEASE sue the **** out of these bast*rds though if you can work up the motivation etc. to do so-- and if their behavior is actually illegal. i certainly HOPE it is illegal. If it is, please try to file a law suit. These guys should lose their jobs. They should be punished. They should not be allowed to do this kind of thing in the future. And hopefully you could possibly even get some money out of it.
Ah just another example to reinforce how much i hate people. Anyway, best wishes with everything. Seriously, good luck.

 

I am so sorry.... » lawrence S.

Posted by judy1 on April 20, 2003, at 18:57:21

In reply to Spent a night in hell! Warning very Grafic languag, posted by lawrence S. on April 20, 2003, at 2:39:47

I cried when I read your post. Please get professional help as soon as you can- you had an extremely traumatic experience and until you can process it in a safe environment, you'll continue to have the PTSD symptoms you're experiencing now. A good therapist should be able to help you in getting redress for the horror you went through (unfortunately, he/she will probably have heard stories like yours) and once you feel better I hope you do pursue legal action. again, my sympathies-judy

 

Re: please don't quote very Grafic languag (nm)

Posted by Dr. Bob on April 20, 2003, at 20:24:57

In reply to Spent a night in hell! Warning very Grafic languag, posted by lawrence S. on April 20, 2003, at 2:39:47

 

I'm sorry for the language!!!

Posted by lawrence S. on April 20, 2003, at 22:08:02

In reply to Re: please don't quote very Grafic languag (nm), posted by Dr. Bob on April 20, 2003, at 20:24:57

Please accept my appology for not censorsing the 4 letter words. I could have used xxxx's instead. I'm very ashamed.

I want to say thanks Psychobabblers! Your caring advice and kind words reasures me that I'm not a piece of XXXX just because I have been in jail. It makes me feel a whole lot better knowing that there are kind and compassionate people out there.

My family couldn't give me any comfort. When I called my brother from jail and told him I needed $1,600.00 bail to get out or I would be in for 30 days, his reply was: "How can you owe that much money for missing only one week of child support? I don't believe you! There nust be something else your'e in there for. Why don't you just stay there for thirty days?"

I feel like such a looser, a lowlife criminal. I know I'm not a criminal and yet around other people I get vibes from them that they are affraid of me or can tell I've been in jail. I went to church today for Easter service. I felt so evil and out of place.

I am sorry that I brought all this misery and profanity to Psychobabble on - of all days Easter Sunday. I totally forgot what day it was when I was posting.
All the suffering that goes on in those jails.. I will be praying for those inmates. Many I'm sure are in there for petty crimes and are being abused. Many like the big naked black guy, are in there because of mental illness. What ever happened to the constitution? and what ever happened to inocent until proven guilty?

Does anyone know of a good attorney in the Racine WI area?

Thanks in advance for any other advice that is posted after this one.

Lawrence S.

 

Re: I'm sorry for the language!!! » lawrence S.

Posted by fayeroe on April 20, 2003, at 22:11:07

In reply to I'm sorry for the language!!!, posted by lawrence S. on April 20, 2003, at 22:08:02

It's okay.....you were very upset and rightly so. no harm done. try legal aide.....they thrive on misjustices like yours. at least in my town they do. they are defense lawyers.....and please try to find someone to talk this through with. a minister or a counselor....ignore your family. you don't need extra stress now. and please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. best, pat

 

Re: Spent a night in hell! Warning very Grafic languag

Posted by lawrence S. on April 20, 2003, at 22:18:19

In reply to Re: Spent a night in hell! Warning very Grafic languag, posted by whiterabbit on April 20, 2003, at 9:35:34

Gracie, What a coincidence. I have his book and his CD: 10 Secrets for Success and Inner Peace. Thank you for reminding me. I will dust it off and start listening to it again.

Thank you, Lawrence S.

 

Re: I am so sorry....

Posted by lawrence S. on April 20, 2003, at 22:39:56

In reply to I am so sorry.... » lawrence S., posted by judy1 on April 20, 2003, at 18:57:21

Judy you are obviously a compaitionate and caring lady. I appreciate your caring, your empathy, your tears. I'm going to look into finding a lawyer on monday. God bless you!

 

Re: I'm sorry for the language!!! » lawrence S.

Posted by ayuda on April 20, 2003, at 22:52:18

In reply to I'm sorry for the language!!!, posted by lawrence S. on April 20, 2003, at 22:08:02

>
> My family couldn't give me any comfort. When I called my brother from jail and told him I needed $1,600.00 bail to get out or I would be in for 30 days, his reply was: "How can you owe that much money for missing only one week of child support? I don't believe you! There nust be something else your'e in there for. Why don't you just stay there for thirty days?"

Lawrence -- don't let your brother's reaction make you feel low. I have a sister who uses me like crazy, but when she called me from jail, I was there with the checkbook and credit cards within a half hour, period. Anyone who would do less is NOT part of your spiritual family.

> I feel like such a looser, a lowlife criminal. I know I'm not a criminal and yet around other people I get vibes from them that they are affraid of me or can tell I've been in jail.

Poo on them -- you are not a lowlife. As I said before, you aren't even responsible for what happened. GOOD people do mistakenly get put in jail.


>I went to church today for Easter service. I felt so evil and out of place.
>

No, you were in exactly the RIGHT place at the RIGHT time. Remember, Jesus was crucified because he was seen as a criminal, someone who spoke against corruption and inequality, and had charges trumped up against him. Easter was his triumph of spirit over the evil forces that killed him. If anyone had a right to be in church today, it was you, Lawrence. Besides, if you are Christian, then you know that Jesus died and rose again in 3 days to save the souls of all mankind -- including YOU.

I hope there is enough time left in your day for you to feel redeemed on this Easter holiday.

 

I'm feeling better thanks to all of you!

Posted by lawrence S. on April 20, 2003, at 23:57:10

In reply to Re: I'm sorry for the language!!! » lawrence S., posted by ayuda on April 20, 2003, at 22:52:18

Thank you Ayuda. You made me feel better!

 

re: a night in hell - an idea...?? » lawrence S.

Posted by IsoM on April 21, 2003, at 0:05:51

In reply to Spent a night in hell! Warning very Grafic languag, posted by lawrence S. on April 20, 2003, at 2:39:47

Lawrence, I've seen your posts occasionally but haven't followed what your past history has been. Do you have a doctor or pdoc that treats you & you trust? See if you can enlist his help with this - a good doctor will be willing to help their patient, if they care. I know mine would.

Relate to him what has happened to you. If you find it far too difficult to tell him face-to-face these things, print out what you wrote to us in your post & give it to him. Ask him what resources are available to prosecute these guards for the treatment given you. Where I live (in Canada), though it's not as easy to sue as it is in the States, these sort of injustices are taken seriously. Yes, they happen here too & I'm not surprised that these sort of things happen - all too often in too many places.

Here, most jail cells are required to be monitored by video cameras to help prevent such things happening. Is it the same way where you live? A phone call should tell you, or ask your doctor to help again. If video evidence is lacking, though it should be there, because of tampering or being turned off, that's incriminating evidence in itself. It raises questions on why it was missing.

Was every guard on duty then involved? Do you think it possible one or two who didn't participate was disturbed by it & may give evidence? Again, see if your doctor can refer you for counselling with this abuse. Especially if the state was guilty, they should have to pay for the sessions. Couselling will help with the nightmares, guilt, & social fear that can grow.

I've read a number of times that when a person feels helpless to change an unpleasant situation or to find a solution to a painful problem, that person will feel a degree of depression, anxiety, & hopelessness that can only worsen. But if a person feels that there's a way out or there's a means to deal with the problem, this person will have hope & a sense of purpose.

Don't let these sick creeps demoralise you to the point of reducing your purpose & enjoyment of life. Please, be strong! Fight back! Do all that you can to prevent this filth from tormenting others. Take it as a goal to give you strength & resolve to deal with them. You may feel anything like this now, but hopefully, that's where your doctor & counselling will help. Don't let scum like that defeat you, PLEASE. Defeat them!

 

Re: I'm feeling better thanks to all of you! » lawrence S.

Posted by justyourlaugh on April 21, 2003, at 14:22:50

In reply to I'm feeling better thanks to all of you!, posted by lawrence S. on April 20, 2003, at 23:57:10

wow larry,
i can totally relate to the "cop"thing..
and i feel people looking and judging me always..
i am sorry you met up with some real idiots..
keep the faith that we are not all bad..
go for a good ride in the back woods..merge with the nature,heal yourself
j


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