Psycho-Babble Social Thread 16909

Shown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

Despair - haven't felt this for awhile...

Posted by Krazy Kat on January 17, 2002, at 18:56:31

Since Sunday - off and on. Perhaps it's good to have "relapses" - it reminds me of the serious of this illness. Switching meds always makes it worse, and I had to stop Depakote to try to get pregnant. Now I have no desire to have a child, feel completely inadequate, no desire to do anything - you all know the drill. Why Depakote actually helped me with depression, I don't know...

Just whinin'...

- KK

 

Re: Despair - haven't felt this for awhile... » Krazy Kat

Posted by dreamer on January 17, 2002, at 22:32:50

In reply to Despair - haven't felt this for awhile..., posted by Krazy Kat on January 17, 2002, at 18:56:31

Perhaps it's good to have "relapses" - it reminds me of the serious of this illness.

NO it's not good KK.
Who wants to be reminded , I'm sick of it and so should you be........I want you to be WELL.


feeling too inadequate to sign and I don't care if I can't spell anymore.

 

Re: Despair - haven't felt this for awhile... » Krazy Kat

Posted by fi on January 18, 2002, at 7:04:11

In reply to Despair - haven't felt this for awhile..., posted by Krazy Kat on January 17, 2002, at 18:56:31


> Just whinin'...
>
No you're not 'whining'- it sounds really grim. As you say, lots of us know what you mean. Thinking of you and hoping it lifts soon.

Fi

 

Re: Despair - haven't felt this for awhile... » Krazy Kat

Posted by Dinah on January 18, 2002, at 9:00:26

In reply to Despair - haven't felt this for awhile..., posted by Krazy Kat on January 17, 2002, at 18:56:31

It's really rotten that you're having problems with the medications. I wish I had some sage advice for you. I was lucky that my major depression reappeared as an adult postpartum, so I didn't have to worry about that aspect. Pregnancy was actually a very stable time for me. The trap door into depression flew out from under me at almost the moment of birth. Hormones!
It sounds like a very frustrating experience. Do you have a good therapist? Or are you lucky enough to have a very supportive husband? And of course you have us. :) Withdrawal from mood stabilizers can be, well, destabilizing. It's important to have good support.
Keep in touch.
Dinah

 

Re: Despair - haven't felt this for awhile... » dreamer

Posted by Krazy Kat on January 18, 2002, at 9:33:55

In reply to Re: Despair - haven't felt this for awhile... » Krazy Kat, posted by dreamer on January 17, 2002, at 22:32:50

And yet, you spell pefectly!

Thanks for the note. I don't think I'll ever be "well" - will any of us? Nothing seems to work perfectly for anyone, but maybe I'm just being negative.

I can't believe how much better I feel since I took the Depakote. I was doing that old "maybe suicide ain't such a bad idea" last night. Whatever it does, it helps.

- KK

 

Re: Despair - haven't felt this for awhile... » fi

Posted by Krazy Kat on January 18, 2002, at 9:34:23

In reply to Re: Despair - haven't felt this for awhile... » Krazy Kat, posted by fi on January 18, 2002, at 7:04:11

Thanks, Fi! I do feel better today b/c of Depakote.

 

Re: Despair - haven't felt this for awhile... » Dinah

Posted by Krazy Kat on January 18, 2002, at 9:36:17

In reply to Re: Despair - haven't felt this for awhile... » Krazy Kat, posted by Dinah on January 18, 2002, at 9:00:26

Dinah:

It is a frustrating experience, isn't it? I wish this had showed up after I had a child - but that would have had to be at about age 14. :)

I obviously can't "make" it w/o some sort of stabilizer. Why does this illness seem to get worse as the years go by? Right now I'm thinking life sans kids.

- KK

 

Re: Despair - haven't felt this for awhile... » Krazy Kat

Posted by janejj on January 18, 2002, at 12:20:16

In reply to Despair - haven't felt this for awhile..., posted by Krazy Kat on January 17, 2002, at 18:56:31

Hi,

I hope you start feeling better soon. Its so horrible to have relapses, they suck. Hope your desires come back too !!

Take care
Jane


Since Sunday - off and on. Perhaps it's good to have "relapses" - it reminds me of the serious of this illness. Switching meds always makes it worse, and I had to stop Depakote to try to get pregnant. Now I have no desire to have a child, feel completely inadequate, no desire to do anything - you all know the drill. Why Depakote actually helped me with depression, I don't know...
>
> Just whinin'...
>
> - KK

 

Re: Despair - dreamer

Posted by Krazy Kat on January 18, 2002, at 14:04:28

In reply to Re: Despair - haven't felt this for awhile... » dreamer, posted by Krazy Kat on January 18, 2002, at 9:33:55

"And yet, you spell pefectly" - I meant this seriously and look what I did - at least I can always blame it on the drugs. ;)

 

....Perhaps some hope? » Krazy Kat

Posted by IsoM on January 19, 2002, at 1:42:43

In reply to Despair - haven't felt this for awhile..., posted by Krazy Kat on January 17, 2002, at 18:56:31

My Krazy Katnip (if you mind me calling you that, tell me, I won't be offended, I just think it sounds sweet)...

I know nothing personally about Depakote, but I can look up stuff & read it. Here's something I found on another forum - one woman's experience:

"Depakote is not as dangerous as some believe. I am holding a one year old in my arms at this moment who was conceived and born while I was taking 250 mg 3 times per day.

The side effects are an opening at the spine and/or a cleft lip or pallet. The chances of these side effects are very low. Depakote decreases the amount of B-6 in your body which is a leading cause of these problems. It is IMPERATIVE that you take B-6 before getting pregnant and during pregnancy. My neur. recommend twice the normal dosage since it is a water soluable vitamin and your body will sluf off what it doesn't need. My o.b. was not concerned about the meds. at all. My neur. was a basket case - "what if he can't walk" he was a real worrier. It is important that you take good care of yourself and watch your body closely. BTW - these problems occur usually during the first 6 weeks so........if you are pregnant it is too late to switch meds.

My baby was born - fat, healthy and is developing at a very fast rate."

(my comment - low folic acid, another B vitamin, has also been implicated in spinal bifada & cleft lip/palate so it would be good to take that too, plus all B vitamin complex vitamins.)

So many doctors & gynecologists recommend women not to get pregnant while taking Depakote but while there certainly have been babies born with birth defects while the mother took the med, there are other cases of healthy babies born to other mothers who took it.

I don't want to encourage you to get pregnant just because, BUT there are ways of minimising potenetial problems. It's a decision you need to make but having information to make a properly informed decision is also important. I can't tell you what to do, but I can help direct you to info for you to read & it may help you.

This site I'm giving discusses Depakote (valproic acid) & its effect on nutrient levels. It makes some suggestions for supplemention, especially for pregnancy. At the end of all the information is a list of 55 references just to let you know this isn't some health gimmick. The site doesn't sell anything.
http://www.thedacare.org/healthinfo/Drug/Valproic_Acid.htm

The information about the above site comes with this comment about Safetychecker:
"The Safetychecker writing team is composed of experts from the fields of medicine, pharmacy, naturopathy, and public health. This team uses its expertise to write about ways in which common drugs (prescription and over-the-counter) interact with herbs, vitamins, and foods. These interactions include potential nutrient depletions, interference with drug actions, reduction of drug side effects, and interference with drug absorption (bioavailability) when taking herbs, nutritional supplements, or food with certain medications. Crucial to the integrity, currency, and balance of Healthnotes’ information is the regular review of over 500 scientific and medical journals."

I hope this holds some encouragement for you, dear one. I know how much I enjoyed my sons (still do).

***********************************************************************************************
> Since Sunday - off and on. Perhaps it's good to have "relapses" - it reminds me of the serious of this illness. Switching meds always makes it worse, and I had to stop Depakote to try to get pregnant. Now I have no desire to have a child, feel completely inadequate, no desire to do anything - you all know the drill. Why Depakote actually helped me with depression, I don't know...
>
> Just whinin'...
>
> - KK

 

Re: Despair and Meowing like a dog » Krazy Kat

Posted by kazoo on January 19, 2002, at 4:08:21

In reply to Despair - haven't felt this for awhile..., posted by Krazy Kat on January 17, 2002, at 18:56:31

It's interesting how you use the word "despair" instead of depression. It's sort of an archaic word which I associate with the Middle Ages in Western Europe. Is it "hopelessness," "helplessness," what?

But I can identify with you, KK, in your despair as I am very much in situations which have been causing a great deal of despair in my life.

How does one get rid of this crap?

So if I'm handed over 2.7 million bucks, will that do it? Will that help? No, it will not. It has not. I have all the pain money can buy, and I don't want either.

So is a Seconal dirt nap in the cards? Yes, this is a very real eventuality with me. For the first time in my life, I'm thinking like a mad man. I have faced some horrible situations before, and never feared them, but I don't think I'm going to make it through this time. I don't want to. I'm tired.

Fear is the mind killer and I'm sick of it all.

What do I do? What do I do?

(a broken) kazoo

 

Re: Despair and Meowing like a dog » kazoo

Posted by Krazy Kat on January 20, 2002, at 10:35:11

In reply to Re: Despair and Meowing like a dog » Krazy Kat, posted by kazoo on January 19, 2002, at 4:08:21

kazoo:

i am so sad that you're in this state of mind. you have always been a rock here. please do keep posting and let others at least try to help you for a change.

my family used to be wealthy and all through my twenties i was resentful b/c i didn't get any of that money - now i realize it really doesn't matter - money can't cure this illness.

in some ways, it's easier for me now - the illness is such a huge monster, when things in life go wrong it seems small in comparison. i handle crises well - it's everyday living that is difficult.

i cannot imagine the pain you are feeling re: your mother. don't even think about your sister - get her out of your life completely if you can.

anger wears us out - so does despair. i hope you find some peace soon. please stay with us.

- KK


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