Psycho-Babble Social Thread 12660

Shown: posts 1 to 19 of 19. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

Reclusive days...

Posted by Krazy Kat on October 18, 2001, at 12:47:09

Does anyone else have days they just can't get out of the house, can't imagine contact with the outer world, even through a phone call?

I used to have long periods of this, associated with depression. The depression's been better, but I still have days where this absolute need for reclusion pops up. For instance, today, I'm having trouble returning calls I really need to take care of. At least I'm posting... last depression - little posting, wanted no contact with anyone, climbinh into closet or bed in fetal position...

These days are frustrating because I never know when they'll hit, and if I allow myself to have obligations, I fear I won't be able to handle them.

There's also the immense guilt that goes with that fear, and the misunderstanding that it is Not laziness, but something completely different.

Has anyone found anything that helps?

Thanks!

- K.

 

Re: Reclusive days... » Krazy Kat

Posted by kid_A on October 18, 2001, at 13:08:21

In reply to Reclusive days..., posted by Krazy Kat on October 18, 2001, at 12:47:09

>
> Has anyone found anything that helps?

massive quantities of alcohol... no seriously, actually i was in that mood last night, but i was working, in what would generally considered to be a social situation... dj'ing at a bar... i just didnt want to talk to anyone really, and i hung out in the booth mostly... i was feeling a little sick so i didnt drink... just ate pretzels and drank water...

my neighboor was a mexican jumping bean, she was drunk and she just got a new job so she was my polar opposite... i had to get away, kept creeping back up to the booth...

i used to be much worse, would dread seeing people i knew in the street, sneak into my house as soon as i got home and wouldnt go out... i wasn't phobic, i just didnt want to have to go through the ritual of saying hello... im much better now... im learning how to say, 'im doing fine, thanks, how are you'...

some people just relax me though, i trust them, and they put me at ease... at least one person i know is like this... when im with them life is like a breeze.....

 

Re: Reclusive days... » Krazy Kat

Posted by Dinah on October 18, 2001, at 13:27:19

In reply to Reclusive days..., posted by Krazy Kat on October 18, 2001, at 12:47:09

I've definitely had days like that. I've always needed my alone time. Some days I need a lot of alone time. The other day I found myself yelling at the dog for coming too close. (I did apologize.) Closet time is my favorite. I recently rediscovered it from my childhood. I do find that if I am careful to schedule my alone time, the unscheduled days crop up less often.

 

Re: Reclusive days... » Dinah

Posted by Krazy Kat on October 18, 2001, at 13:53:13

In reply to Re: Reclusive days... » Krazy Kat , posted by Dinah on October 18, 2001, at 13:27:19

> Dinah:

Ah, another closet recluse...:) I thought my hubby was going to have a fit when I told him about that one, but it does harken back to childhood and things like making caves out of covers or just sitting under a cover and pretending there is only your world in there, whatever that may be.

The scheduled alone time is a good point - have had trouble getting time alone b/c both husband and I work from home now. He doesn't need that time to himself like I do, so it's a constant battle. I'm throwing in the towel for today. But if tomorrow is like this, I guess I have to watch it. Could be depression rearing its ugly head.

Thanks!

- K.

 

Re: Reclusive days... » kid_A

Posted by Krazy Kat on October 18, 2001, at 13:58:00

In reply to Re: Reclusive days... » Krazy Kat , posted by kid_A on October 18, 2001, at 13:08:21

> Kid_A:

We seem quite similar, I've noticed, despite our gender difference. :)

Mexican jumping beans - can't stand 'em. We do not mesh well.

I'm better, too - know what you mean about avoiding people. I've actually ducked before.

I, too, have a few good friends I'm comfortable with. Don't have many, though, and they tend to have at least some similar component - iow, we know when to stay out of each others' hair.

I don't know how you dj, if you're in a non-social mood.

And, unfortunately, alcohol definitely does help. It helps quickly and consistently. Been trying not to "fall back" on that, though, so to speak.

Thanks.

- K.

 

of closets and pillow fortresses

Posted by kid_A on October 18, 2001, at 15:39:20

In reply to Re: Reclusive days... » kid_A, posted by Krazy Kat on October 18, 2001, at 13:58:00


oh when i was a child, the closet had such an amazing calming alure... dark and small and nothing could touch you... closets are like a cave and you are the hermit, and the darkness eats you like a shield...

then we would make fortresses out of all the pillows and bits and pieces of the furniture... wrap it with blankets, intricate offrooms, connected of course to the television as the main chamber...

there is something calming about blankets and pillows covering you with no light yet the light of the television... nothing was outside, nothing, and everything, your world, was inside...

now we walk like human theatres, assailed on all sides by neighbors, howyadoing bank tellers, bosses, co-workers, everything... if your not careful you could catch a serious case of anomie... shut yourself off... overloaded... take a deep breath... let it out... take time to build a fortress inside of yourself again, put on headfones and turn off the lights and don't answer anything... not even your own questions.

 

Re: Reclusive days... » Krazy Kat

Posted by paxvox on October 18, 2001, at 15:56:48

In reply to Reclusive days..., posted by Krazy Kat on October 18, 2001, at 12:47:09

K Kat, has anybody been trying to herd you recently? I hear a lot of that has been going around.

But seriously (as if I can ever be too serious, ask Susan C.). Yes, I have had those kind of fears, generally when I am out of my "normal" daily routine (see my holidy haze posting for example). As a very obsessive person, I find comfort and, I guess, control in my life by doing things on autopilot, as it were. This makes other people get mad at me, however, you can predict what I am going to do,and CERTAINLY WHEN I'm going to do something. Why the obsessions? It allows me to control some aspect of an otherwise uncontrolable life. Or, I can't control what happens to me, but I can (mostly) control how I respond to it. I have never had the truly agoraphobic home-bound state. However, I have had the "I feel better in a fetal position" mode.

What to do? Do what you can, take a little step, then another. When I have had panic attacks, I have learned how to tell my mind (LOL) that I am not dying, I'm not losing my mind. I have used the deep breathing techniques to regain control. That works for me. It does take some practice, and faith in your own abilities. It is terribly disconcerting to have those "I'm losing my mind" feelings. If all else fails.....benzos are nice!


PAX
rambling along

 

Re: Reclusive days...

Posted by dreamer on October 18, 2001, at 16:36:17

In reply to Reclusive days..., posted by Krazy Kat on October 18, 2001, at 12:47:09

> Does anyone else have days they just can't get out of the house, can't imagine contact with the outer world, even through a phone call?

Hey K I'm reclusive outside is always there if I need it usually accompanied with a benzo also nocturnal arrhhhggg weirdo- Early mourning solitary walks.

Also no phone .............wow !

Maybe you can do some free flowing streams of consciousness writing and pick out good bits later
Enjoy yerself .
If yer think it'll lead to depression ........it will....I'm contacting the pixies of contentment they're on their way

dreamereclusive-.

 

Re: Reclusive days...

Posted by mist on October 18, 2001, at 17:48:39

In reply to Reclusive days..., posted by Krazy Kat on October 18, 2001, at 12:47:09

> Does anyone else have days they just can't get out of the house, can't imagine contact with the outer world, even through a phone call?

I feel this way all the time. In my case, it has to do with being very depressed. I haven't found anything that helps. I keep my contacts with people to the absolute minimum and leave my home as little as possible.

 

Thank you for sharing all... (nm)

Posted by Krazy Kat on October 18, 2001, at 17:56:57

In reply to Re: Reclusive days..., posted by mist on October 18, 2001, at 17:48:39

 

Thank you... » dreamer

Posted by Krazy Kat on October 18, 2001, at 18:05:21

In reply to Re: Reclusive days..., posted by dreamer on October 18, 2001, at 16:36:17

>

 

Re: of closets and pillow fortresses » kid_A

Posted by Krazy Kat on October 19, 2001, at 9:49:46

In reply to of closets and pillow fortresses, posted by kid_A on October 18, 2001, at 15:39:20

don't answer anything... not even your own questions.

> > > Beautiful phrase and exactly true. That's what these stabilizers have helped me with - controlling my mind, letting it breathe. It can't seem to breathe on its own.

- K.

 

Re: Reclusive days... » paxvox

Posted by Krazy Kat on October 19, 2001, at 9:58:15

In reply to Re: Reclusive days... » Krazy Kat , posted by paxvox on October 18, 2001, at 15:56:48

> Pax:

If anyone tried to herd me, I'd claw 'em good. Rather ornery when not depressed...;)

I saw your post about getting out of routine and agree with it completely. That always happened to me when I was in a regular position.

It's funny, I, too, have obsessions of sorts. What I'm doing is stripping unnecessary things from my life, so it's all as simple as possible. I dress very similarly day to day. I have the same make-up/hair routine everyday, and it's Very simple now. I'm keeping the colors in my house similar room to room and cutting out many patterns. I'm limiting decisions, which I think has helped.

Thank you for your kind words. The deep breathing is a good idea.

I realized that the big problem this time was that I was trying to cut back on one of my stabilizers, Topamax. That was about the third day. I was in an agitated, pre-hypomanic state that got worse and worse until bed time was a mess. I upped it again last night and already feel better.

-KK, claws ready for attack

 

Re: Reclusive days... » mist

Posted by Krazy Kat on October 19, 2001, at 10:02:10

In reply to Re: Reclusive days..., posted by mist on October 18, 2001, at 17:48:39

> Mist:

I want to say, "I'm so sorry" but is that what you need to hear? It seems very terrible not to have found anything that helps. Is this the way you anticipate things being, then?

I have a friend who Won't take medication and would give anything to work from home and be reclusive by choice. (Different situation, I'm just rambling). We were discussing the benefits from "being out in the world" the other day - couldn't convince her. :)

I hope you find support here - I've seen your name but not for awhile.

- K.

 

Re: Reclusive days... » Krazy Kat

Posted by mist on October 19, 2001, at 21:20:38

In reply to Re: Reclusive days... » mist, posted by Krazy Kat on October 19, 2001, at 10:02:10

K.,

Thank you for your kind reply to my post.
I lurk on this board a lot but don't always feel I have enough mental energy to compose even a brief post. I do feel like I've given up but I'm also hoping that's just temporary. At some point (soon) I'll have to work and then I'll be out in the world again. I think if I could find the right work environment it wouldn't be so bad. Unfortunately I've experienced some very unhealthy workplaces. -mist

> > Mist:
>
> I want to say, "I'm so sorry" but is that what you need to hear? It seems very terrible not to have found anything that helps. Is this the way you anticipate things being, then?
>
> I have a friend who Won't take medication and would give anything to work from home and be reclusive by choice. (Different situation, I'm just rambling). We were discussing the benefits from "being out in the world" the other day - couldn't convince her. :)
>
> I hope you find support here - I've seen your name but not for awhile.
>
> - K.

 

Re: Reclusive days... » mist

Posted by Krazy Kat on October 19, 2001, at 23:47:07

In reply to Re: Reclusive days... » Krazy Kat , posted by mist on October 19, 2001, at 21:20:38

> Oh, Mist, me, too. I've avoided "work" for the last year and a half because I never fit into to the business world, 9:00 - 5:00, or usually way into the night. Even in offices that were populated with nicer folk... it just wasn't me. Is that what you mean?

The last two years of trying medications has exhausted me. I've done some freelance. I'm lucky to have a husband who earns most of the dough. :) But I'm tired of not working as well. And it's not good for a marriage - at least not mine.

I am looking into things I Never thought I'd consider before - work-from-home stuff it crap, :), etc. I have electronic production experience but suddenly that's not in such a demand on a freelance basis.

Whatever, I Have decided not to go back into the "regular" office world. It drains me too much. I'd really rather work on a forklift. All right, I don't know how to work a forklift, but I could learn! :)

- K.

 

Re: Reclusive days...

Posted by mist on October 20, 2001, at 10:32:54

In reply to Re: Reclusive days... » mist, posted by Krazy Kat on October 19, 2001, at 23:47:07

K.,

I don't like standard office environments either. I feel out of place in them.

I quit my last job to work at home and then went into a depressive slump that pretty much paralyzed me from taking any constructive action.

I'd ideally like to find something different, too. But at this point since I'm not particularly energized I might just look for the type of job I'm familiar with and that (at least I hope) would be relatively easy for me to get.

I hope you find a type of work you like. Forklift driving doesn't sound so bad . . .

 

Paralyzed... » mist

Posted by Krazy Kat on October 20, 2001, at 22:49:26

In reply to Re: Reclusive days..., posted by mist on October 20, 2001, at 10:32:54

Mist:

No need to reply again, but that word just hit me. I thought once I got out of the every day scramble I'd be fine. Will, to My Surprise, my depression became worse last fall and I've been floundering between depression and mania ever since.

I thought it was the business world's fault! :)

It's odd to finally have the time to yourself to do something different - again - is that what you mean? It's not what I expected. But, I do suspect the meds a great deal, as I was more motivated before.

So, do I take these meds and feel better and do very little, or get off them and accompish more? Of course, if I get off them, I risk running away from home and things like that.

Or, in your case, what do you do? Do you seek alternatives, such as ect? Mist, I Do feel better now than I have in years, so if there's any way you can...

Please talk to me some more when you feel like it.

- KK

 

Re: Paralyzed... » Krazy Kat

Posted by mist on October 21, 2001, at 0:23:26

In reply to Paralyzed... » mist, posted by Krazy Kat on October 20, 2001, at 22:49:26

KK-

I have heard of other people being demotivated (or made less creative) by meds as you describe. It sounds like a tough position to be in. I'm already demotivated by depression and have never had mania so my hope is that if I can get undepressed I'll be more active and get more done. I had intolerable side effects from the meds I tried but will probably try another one at some point. I had some luck with St. John's Wort but it stopped working after a while. -mist

> Mist:
>
> No need to reply again, but that word just hit me. I thought once I got out of the every day scramble I'd be fine. Will, to My Surprise, my depression became worse last fall and I've been floundering between depression and mania ever since.
>
> I thought it was the business world's fault! :)
>
> It's odd to finally have the time to yourself to do something different - again - is that what you mean? It's not what I expected. But, I do suspect the meds a great deal, as I was more motivated before.
>
> So, do I take these meds and feel better and do very little, or get off them and accompish more? Of course, if I get off them, I risk running away from home and things like that.
>
> Or, in your case, what do you do? Do you seek alternatives, such as ect? Mist, I Do feel better now than I have in years, so if there's any way you can...
>
> Please talk to me some more when you feel like it.
>
> - KK


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