Psycho-Babble Social Thread 11875

Shown: posts 8 to 32 of 32. Go back in thread:

 

rephrase, s.h. needed 2 clarify point.

Posted by geekUK on September 29, 2001, at 20:40:52

In reply to Re: self harm, should I start again? » Mickey, posted by Zo on September 29, 2001, at 19:13:17

yes, I expected the responses, any s.h. (apart from those i know), who have an opinion. A coping mechanism without sin, without expense, without pain. Alcohol fucks up your life, fucks up others life and fucks up your body. cutting fucks up my arm. this is the logic of my question. defy the logic, pleeze.

you might win some but u just lost one,
lauren hillock

 

Re: self harm, should I start again? - zo

Posted by Mickey on September 29, 2001, at 23:41:29

In reply to Re: self harm, should I start again? » Mickey, posted by Zo on September 29, 2001, at 19:13:17

> I think it's bullshit. .. to dramatize the boring, ordinary cycle of addicton, which is Nothing Special, as if it were.
>
> Zo

It's not called drama, it's called poetry. But you can call it anything, even bullshit if you like.

 

Re: self harm, should I start again? » geekUK

Posted by akc on September 30, 2001, at 8:03:14

In reply to self harm, should I start again?, posted by geekUK on September 28, 2001, at 19:48:22

I'm slow on the response -- as always with any item that hits a little too close to home. I have not self-harmed since February. I don't see this as drama -- whatever the addiction. For me, the self-harm did replace the drinking.

There is no drama here -- whatever is driving this is real. I am not sure I can help you, but I sure hope I can listen.

To answer your question -- No. I hope you have not begun again. While drinking can be just as damaging physically, I think there is a psychological damage that is greater when we self-harm. It is so not accepted socially -- there is so much more shame around it. But the relief I would get from it, however temporary, would feel good. Before the shame would come. For me the shame always came.

I hope you did not self-harm. I also hope you did not drink. I know that means you had to face whatever the trigger was without these tools. Maybe you could write some more about what is going on. What is triggering this. I would listen.

akc

 

Re: self harm, should I start again? - zo » Mickey

Posted by Krazy Kat on September 30, 2001, at 10:59:05

In reply to Re: self harm, should I start again? - zo, posted by Mickey on September 29, 2001, at 23:41:29

Mickey:

I thought it captured it perfectly. Not sure why Zo misinterpretted it.

- K.

 

Re: self harm, should I start again? KK - Thanks (nm)

Posted by Mickey on September 30, 2001, at 11:37:46

In reply to Re: self harm, should I start again? - zo » Mickey, posted by Krazy Kat on September 30, 2001, at 10:59:05

 

Re: chill

Posted by dreamer on September 30, 2001, at 21:05:04

In reply to rephrase, s.h. needed 2 clarify point., posted by geekUK on September 29, 2001, at 20:40:52

defy the logic, pleeze.

logic- good name for a new chocolate bar.

Stop anylizing /analysing + one more time anlising
aaahh forget it.

rub salt or red chilly peppers into wound for greater effect .
Correct meds needed and are u really honest with doc bout drinking on depoke or whatever it is?

dreamer post- self autopsy specialist.

 

Ack!!! » dreamer

Posted by Krazy Kat on October 1, 2001, at 11:54:05

In reply to Re: chill, posted by dreamer on September 30, 2001, at 21:05:04

> Was this one inadvertantly meant for me??? I have NOT been having wine while on Depakote. How dare you suggest it? And I certainly do NOT tell my pdoc.

A very shamed KK.

(Mighty Mouse has started a trend...)

 

Drinking is better than self harm

Posted by Shar on October 2, 2001, at 9:41:49

In reply to self harm, should I start again?, posted by geekUK on September 28, 2001, at 19:48:22

> >Anyway 2 the point. I have kind of substituted drinking for self harm.

G-UK,
Drinking is better than self harm, unless you use it as another form of self-harm such as driving under the influence, getting drunk and doing dangerous things, dancing in the roadway.

I was quite a drinker before discovering meds, and I figure it saved my life to have a way to get numb, to get away from the pain.

If you have a choice, drink. No fair doing both, though.

Shar

 

Re: Drinking is better than self harm

Posted by geekUK on October 2, 2001, at 18:10:41

In reply to Drinking is better than self harm, posted by Shar on October 2, 2001, at 9:41:49

Not sh yet, been about 1 1/2 years.
but feel the need, has never left. drinking messes up my real life, sh affects my self life.
THanks for reminding me of the guilt and aleination of it.
but I am reminded of the murderous desire for blood from my arch enemy. the sweet revenge. this is the passion that I find unable to channel effectivly anywhere else. The more lost i get the stronger it becomes. perhaps this should be, what do u do when drinking dont cut it any more
MC

 

Re: Drinking is better than self harm » geekUK

Posted by Shar on October 2, 2001, at 22:37:08

In reply to Re: Drinking is better than self harm, posted by geekUK on October 2, 2001, at 18:10:41

If u r backed into a corner, and drinking does not help, and self-harm is appealing, at some point you have to rail against it. If you have refrained for more than a year, you have made and remade the decision not to choose self harm; this is good.

Whatever you choose, it's damn near impossible to get to feeling better all by yourself. Unfortunate as it may be, other people are pretty necessary, in whatever capacity you can stand it.

I prefer the real life consequences of drinking because it is so public. It's not a secret, you and everyone else will know that something is going on there. Self harm is hidden, secret, under the table, behind the back, under a mask, a parasite on your mental health, an ambush. I believe secrets rarely contribute to our well-being.

Shar

> Not sh yet, been about 1 1/2 years.
> but feel the need, has never left. drinking messes up my real life, sh affects my self life.
> THanks for reminding me of the guilt and aleination of it.
> but I am reminded of the murderous desire for blood from my arch enemy. the sweet revenge. this is the passion that I find unable to channel effectivly anywhere else. The more lost i get the stronger it becomes. perhaps this should be, what do u do when drinking dont cut it any more
> MC

 

Re: self harm - Mickey, KrazyKat

Posted by Zo on October 3, 2001, at 16:53:15

In reply to Re: self harm, should I start again? - zo » Mickey, posted by Krazy Kat on September 30, 2001, at 10:59:05

Was it *meant*, then, as poetry? Sorry, for some reason I read it as literal, not as a poem upon addiction.

Perhaps because of your subject line.

A poem is not the recitation and romaticization of your experience, as you probably know. In your subject line you asked us a question. Now I'm not sure which is real.

Zo

 

Re: self harm - Zo

Posted by Mickey on October 3, 2001, at 17:38:23

In reply to Re: self harm - Mickey, KrazyKat, posted by Zo on October 3, 2001, at 16:53:15

Zo,

GeekUk was telling us his story about his use of alcohol and the cutting or burning of his flesh. The point I was making was that through my own use of alcohol I did similar things although it was not the literal burning and cutting of the flesh but a more symbolic cutting and burning of the soul and mind. Both leave permanent scar tissue.

There was a time in my younger days when my friends and I romanticized our hard drinking and drug use. We were bad boys. Back then who could have known what it was all about. Now, upon reflection, and many years of therapy, I understand. No, I never cut or burned myself literally, though I have known those that have, but I have never-the-less inflicted deep wounds upon myself.

Mick

 

Drinking *is* self harm! (nm) » Shar

Posted by kazoo on October 3, 2001, at 23:06:13

In reply to Drinking is better than self harm, posted by Shar on October 2, 2001, at 9:41:49

 

Whew! -Zo (nm) » Mickey

Posted by Zo on October 4, 2001, at 1:25:22

In reply to Re: self harm - Zo, posted by Mickey on October 3, 2001, at 17:38:23

 

Re: *Totally* -Zo (nm)

Posted by Mickey on October 4, 2001, at 8:16:48

In reply to Whew! -Zo (nm) » Mickey, posted by Zo on October 4, 2001, at 1:25:22

 

drinking is self harm (nm)

Posted by geekUK on October 4, 2001, at 18:05:29

In reply to Whew! -Zo (nm) » Mickey, posted by Zo on October 4, 2001, at 1:25:22

yup

 

Re: Drinking *is* self harm! Real vs. ideal. » kazoo

Posted by Shar on October 4, 2001, at 19:09:37

In reply to Drinking *is* self harm! (nm) » Shar, posted by kazoo on October 3, 2001, at 23:06:13

I am using words that the poster used. Of course drinking is self harm in one sense, in an ideal world, cutting AND drinking to harm oneself would be unheard of. However, here we are in reality, and I believe that drinking is better than cutting or other similar forms of hurting oneself.

Shar

 

Re: Drinking *is* self harm! Real vs. ideal.

Posted by jay on October 4, 2001, at 20:55:36

In reply to Re: Drinking *is* self harm! Real vs. ideal. » kazoo, posted by Shar on October 4, 2001, at 19:09:37

> I am using words that the poster used. Of course drinking is self harm in one sense, in an ideal world, cutting AND drinking to harm oneself would be unheard of. However, here we are in reality, and I believe that drinking is better than cutting or other similar forms of hurting oneself.
>
> Shar

Yes, Shar, I believe very much in "harm reduction"..ie. going for the 'least' harmless route. It's like using Methadone instead of Heroin.

I just wanted to make another comment. There is *one* poster on here who seems to have no interest in being supportive, and I encourage people to speak up and even mention it to Dr. Bob if somebody is insultive and abusive. This should be a safe environment, if anything, as per the administrative guidelines.


Jay

 

Safe? Jay

Posted by Mickey on October 5, 2001, at 8:59:08

In reply to Re: Drinking *is* self harm! Real vs. ideal., posted by jay on October 4, 2001, at 20:55:36

> I just wanted to make another comment. There is *one* poster on here who seems to have no interest in being supportive, and I encourage people to speak up and even mention it to Dr. Bob if somebody is insultive and abusive. This should be a safe environment, if anything, as per the administrative guidelines.
>
>
> Jay


You are correct. I have been to chat rooms where you better have a thick skin. I abandon those for this one which seemed very safe. I am not so sure if this is so anymore. In therapy groups safety is a top priority. This is a very large therapy group without a mediator and the potential for abuse concerns me. I feel a great reluctance to post, including this one.

Thanks - Mickey

 

Re: Safe? Jay..Mickey---Dr. Bob???? » Mickey

Posted by jay on October 6, 2001, at 2:44:36

In reply to Safe? Jay, posted by Mickey on October 5, 2001, at 8:59:08


>
> You are correct. I have been to chat rooms where you better have a thick skin. I abandon those for this one which seemed very safe. I am not so sure if this is so anymore. In therapy groups safety is a top priority. This is a very large therapy group without a mediator and the potential for abuse concerns me. I feel a great reluctance to post, including this one.
>
> Thanks - Mickey

Mickey:

I agree with your concerns, and I wonder if Dr. Bob can say a bit more on this. I think it's more than just administrative...I think it involves the feeling of boundaries on a public board. I feel safer on here than say on the IRC 'Newsgroups', but I don't think you should be feeling so unsafe.

Anyhow, I am not trying to be critical of the board, but I wonder if Dr. Bob maybe could expand on the theraputic 'safety' issue a bit more. :-)

Jay

 

Safe? » jay

Posted by Jane D on October 6, 2001, at 23:50:34

In reply to Re: Drinking *is* self harm! Real vs. ideal., posted by jay on October 4, 2001, at 20:55:36

> I just wanted to make another comment. There is *one* poster on here who seems to have no interest in being supportive, and I encourage people to speak up and even mention it to Dr. Bob if somebody is insultive and abusive. This should be a safe environment, if anything, as per the administrative guidelines.


Jay,

Only *one*? Surely you can think of more. I know I can. And I'll guaranty you that my list and yours are completely different. I imagine everyone else here could also write their own, different, list. You see where this is going, don't you? There wouldn't be anyone left after the purges were complete.

Seriously, I don't see where the guidelines promise you a safe environment and I don't see how they could deliver that for you and for everyone else at the same time. What you find safe someone else will probably find threatening. You might be more successful seeking your safety in a much smaller (and non-internet for Pete's sake!) community.

And, by the way, despite rereading the thread before posting this, I'm d****d if I can tell who you meant. (Please don't tell me.)

Jane

 

Re: Safe? » Jane D

Posted by jay on October 7, 2001, at 18:43:09

In reply to Safe? » jay, posted by Jane D on October 6, 2001, at 23:50:34

Well, this is still a moderated board, and due to it's nature, it has to be. I feel it is much more successful in many ways than the Usenet newsgroups. It's all about respecting others opinions, but also sticking by your own. When someone *commands* that you are completely *wrong*, that is invalidation of others feelings. I am sure we are all sensitive enough *not* to go that route, and it is a simple rule everyone can follow.

Jay


> > I just wanted to make another comment. There is *one* poster on here who seems to have no interest in being supportive, and I encourage people to speak up and even mention it to Dr. Bob if somebody is insultive and abusive. This should be a safe environment, if anything, as per the administrative guidelines.
>
>
> Jay,
>
> Only *one*? Surely you can think of more. I know I can. And I'll guaranty you that my list and yours are completely different. I imagine everyone else here could also write their own, different, list. You see where this is going, don't you? There wouldn't be anyone left after the purges were complete.
>
> Seriously, I don't see where the guidelines promise you a safe environment and I don't see how they could deliver that for you and for everyone else at the same time. What you find safe someone else will probably find threatening. You might be more successful seeking your safety in a much smaller (and non-internet for Pete's sake!) community.
>
> And, by the way, despite rereading the thread before posting this, I'm d****d if I can tell who you meant. (Please don't tell me.)
>
> Jane

 

Re: Safe?

Posted by Dr. Bob on October 8, 2001, at 12:54:24

In reply to Safe? Jay, posted by Mickey on October 5, 2001, at 8:59:08

> I have been to chat rooms where you better have a thick skin. I abandon those for this one which seemed very safe. I am not so sure if this is so anymore. In therapy groups safety is a top priority.

Safety is a top priority here, too. Are you referring to:

> > I think it's bullshit. .. to dramatize the boring, ordinary cycle of addicton, which is Nothing Special, as if it were.
>
> It's not called drama, it's called poetry. But you can call it anything, even bullshit if you like.

http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20010927/msgs/11933.html

That wasn't the best word to have used, but it's possible the idea wasn't to criticize specifically your writing, but generally the dramatization or romanticization of addiction. Maybe you'd both agree that the latter can be counterproductive?

(Also, it seems like there was some misunderstanding about where your subject line came from.)

Bob

 

Re: Drinking *is* self harm! Real vs. ideal. » jay

Posted by Zo on October 8, 2001, at 14:04:57

In reply to Re: Drinking *is* self harm! Real vs. ideal., posted by jay on October 4, 2001, at 20:55:36

> I just wanted to make another comment. There is *one* poster on here who seems to have no interest in being supportive, and I encourage people to speak up and even mention it to Dr. Bob if somebody is insultive and abusive. This should be a safe environment, if anything, as per the administrative guidelines.
>
>
> Jay


Who, me?

Zo

 

Re: Drinking *is* self harm.. » Zo

Posted by jay on October 10, 2001, at 21:15:31

In reply to Re: Drinking *is* self harm! Real vs. ideal. » jay, posted by Zo on October 8, 2001, at 14:04:57

That was wrong of me to post such a leading rant..and no it wasn't you...I can't even remember what I was thinking about.

My apologies to the board..

Jay

> > I just wanted to make another comment. There is *one* poster on here who seems to have no interest in being supportive, and I encourage people to speak up and even mention it to Dr. Bob if somebody is insultive and abusive. This should be a safe environment, if anything, as per the administrative guidelines.
> >
> >
> > Jay
>
>
> Who, me?
>
> Zo


This is the end of the thread.


Show another thread

URL of post in thread:


Psycho-Babble Social | Extras | FAQ


[dr. bob] Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD, bob@dr-bob.org

Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.