Psycho-Babble Social Thread 10913

Shown: posts 1 to 25 of 36. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

some really sound advice

Posted by sar on September 6, 2001, at 22:51:15

in honor of it being my day off, i drank all day as i was on the phone with eli lilly and roche laboratories trying to score some free drugs and calling up lawyers to come to my defense for something unrelated.

tonight, bloated from a day of spaghetti, beer, and general self-indulgence, i hopped on my brother's bicycle to pedal over to the convenience store. George smiled at me and handed me $6 back, which i tucked neatly into my bra strap. "What's that around your neck?" i asked. "it's in case the store gets robbed," he told me. "i just push this little button here." "well you be safe and careful!" i called as i left. George double-bagged my 6-pack to ensure its safety.

i tucked the bag onto the right handlebar, then tried to climb onto the bicycle, with minimal success. "Aaaah, fuck!" i shouted as i fell to the ground. a man popped out from behind a van and asked if i was all right. "don't ever ride your bicycle if you've been drinking," i said. "don't even try to get on it."

"that's some really sound advice," he grinned, then went back to filling up his gas tank.

George stepped out to look at me quizically but with concern..."I'm fine, I'm fine," i said, waving my arms around, then ambled off into the night to remount my bicycle in the darkest shadows, far from the light of the store, where no human beings could see me.

the beer (in cans) stayed attatched to the bike! the beer was saved!

i rode home with maximum success.

on my next day off i think i'll just *walk.*

drinkers, there is my sound advice of the day.

love,
sar

 

Re: some really sound advice » sar

Posted by Marie1 on September 7, 2001, at 7:30:47

In reply to some really sound advice, posted by sar on September 6, 2001, at 22:51:15

Sar - you are too much!! Thanks for the laugh! A few years ago (in a different, much flatter, locale) my husband and I used to ride our bikes to the outside bar on the bay, and I think there were a few occasions when I had the same difficulty trying to negotiate balance in full view of all the party-ers. Plus there was the added possibility of an accidental dip into the bay. Oy vey!
Very sound advice indeed!
Marie

 

Bikes and booze.

Posted by Greg A. on September 7, 2001, at 13:37:56

In reply to some really sound advice, posted by sar on September 6, 2001, at 22:51:15

I have always been a cyclist. I have always drank. (almost) I rode my bike to work one day when I worked in a different town from where I lived. I used to do this routinely, once or twice a week. We had a send off for a departing staff member. I drank – lots. I closed up the office and went to get in my car. No car. Only the bike. What the hell. I can ride 40 km drunk. Like you Sar, I ended up on the pavement. Not once but a number of times. Gradually the pain sobered me up. I made it part way home and then phoned my wife to come get me. Told her I’d had a flat. She wondered if I’d been in a fight from the scrapes. I still remember the feeling. That damn bike just would not stay upright under me.
I am feeling down today and disgusted with myself to some extent. I drink too much. I don’t get drunk – I just drink every evening. I may exercise first at the gym or biking, but I always drink. Every so often I cut back because I see I am getting a little over the line. I do have to go to work. I don’t like being hungover. I drink because I like the feeling of not feeling. It used to be to reduce anxiety. Not anymore. I like mild numbness. I like to think I have will power to make changes. I’m stuck on this one. Like the drinker who says they have no problem quitting, they just can’t stay quit – that’s me. I have stopped – but later I think I’m missing something – so I start again.
Here are some of my ruses to make this drinking acceptable:
I have exercised so I deserve a reward
I am a connoisseur of wine and beer
I am replacing fluids
I am functional the next day so what’s the problem
I never drink during the day
If you think my drinking is a problem – what about so and so.

Thoughts?

Greg


 

Re: Bikes and booze.

Posted by stjames on September 7, 2001, at 14:00:02

In reply to Bikes and booze., posted by Greg A. on September 7, 2001, at 13:37:56

Here are some of my ruses to make this drinking acceptable:
I have exercised so I deserve a reward
I am a connoisseur of wine and beer
I am replacing fluids
I am functional the next day so what’s the problem
I never drink during the day
If you think my drinking is a problem – what about so and so.

Thoughts?

James here.....

This is what every alcoholic says.

james

 

Re: Bikes and booze. » Greg A.

Posted by akc on September 7, 2001, at 14:52:26

In reply to Bikes and booze., posted by Greg A. on September 7, 2001, at 13:37:56

> Here are some of my ruses to make this drinking acceptable:
> I have exercised so I deserve a reward
> I am a connoisseur of wine and beer
> I am replacing fluids
> I am functional the next day so what’s the problem
> I never drink during the day
> If you think my drinking is a problem – what about so and so.
>
> Thoughts?

A friend and I were talking this morning (we are both in recovery). She has had a particularly stressful week and was commenting how she would like to be able to join the masses and just have a couple of cold ones to "unwind" -- I then pointed out that the masses actually don't drink on a daily basis to unwind -- they take deep breathes, talk to a friend, go for a walk, journal, so forth, and so on. Ah, the alcoholic mind. It talks to me almost daily -- it is cunning, powerful, baffling -- and deceitful.

"Most of us have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics. No person likes to think he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows. Therefore, it is not surprising that our drinking careers have been characterized by countless vain attempts to prove we could drink like other people. The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obesession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death." Chapter 3 of the Big Book.

akc

 

bars, cars, thrills, chills, pills and bellyaches

Posted by kid_A on September 7, 2001, at 15:16:45

In reply to some really sound advice, posted by sar on September 6, 2001, at 22:51:15


i dont own a bike, though i wish i did, then i could do some serious eco-friendly drunk driving... more advice:

go outside the club to throw up

do *NOT* pass out in the car park

smoking pot while extremely drunk ~may~ not be the brightest idea

think about Jaegermeister and Tequila, then ask yourself, do I really have a death wish?

do *not* hit curbs with a borrowed car, a flat can and will happen...

do not drive home on flat and ruin wheel... please see above

do not pick fights w/ 300 pound guys named tyrone...

do not punch mirrors in clubs, they are tuff stuff, and if you break them, you'll only wind up breaking your hand (or close) in the process

do not jump from the dj booth, its too high, you are too high, please start at the begining of this sentence and repeat mantra-like

do not spit at people in the crowd from above without expecting a reaction...

always remember, the girl you impressed by flicking a cigratte from the top floor into a trashcan below (purely by luck) will not remember your name next week, do not attempt conversation unless approached...

***friends girlfriend's are strictly off limits unless sex is involved... if you are going to burn you might as well burn for a fuck***

do pick small girls up off the ground and twirl them around... that yelp they make is cute, and its fun to be manly and such...

do smoke pot w/ the visiting UK dj's in the dancer's changing room...

do not drink anything that looks like motor oil, especially if it is a shot

beer then liquor, never sicker, liquor then beer, in the clear baby...

if you pull a girl's top up and she doesnt slap you, she secretly is an exhibitionist...

sexy dancing with friend's girlfriends is permited, when questioned say "we were just dancing, its no big deal to me..."

always remember, you dont have to go home, but you cant stay here...

if you are hanging out at the bar after close and you do not work there, are not a boyfriend/girlfriend of someone who works there, or are not leaving with someone who works there you are what is known as a scene-vampire, please impale yourself...

please do not claim your coolness by launching faux-insults at club owners or dj's, you are also a scene-vampire trying to prove your own coolness, sin #1 in the scene how not to be cool book...

wrestling and capering with friends girlfriends is okay, when you are wild it is always good to have an accomplice...

cocaine is a daemon bitch, but its still fun

always remember, true love waits, it just may not wait for you.


your warmest atom heart,

KID A

 

Re: Bikes and booze.

Posted by Greg A. on September 7, 2001, at 16:34:49

In reply to Re: Bikes and booze., posted by stjames on September 7, 2001, at 14:00:02

Thanks James. Your subtle, intuitive response to my post has given me insight into the true nature of my drinking. Could you try in the future though, to just come out and say what you are thinking.
Yeah. The truth hurts. It’s funny. I had less of a problem being labeled as mentally ill than I do with ‘alcoholic’. When I have stopped drinking in the past, and it is an all or nothing thing with me, I have looked at it as a way to prove there is no real problem. Then I don’t have to face life without alcohol – only a short sentence. I like things I can see an end to. I have also used it as a way to see if the alcohol was contributing to my depression and anxiety. The minute I went booze free for a time and still suffered, I would start to drink again. I’d think “What’s the use? I might as well drink.”
Okay – getting my courage up here. I’ll start small. I will not drink this weekend and I will report back on Monday.

Thanks

Greg

 

Re: Bikes and booze.

Posted by gdog on September 7, 2001, at 17:39:24

In reply to Re: Bikes and booze., posted by Greg A. on September 7, 2001, at 16:34:49

hey greg. . .your posts sound familiar to me. i used to use all those excuses for my drinking, and then some. and i tried dozens of ways to "cut back" or whatever my goal of the week was. when it came right down to it, however, i had absolutely no control. and for me it has nothing to do with willpower. i have heard several folks say that "nobody but an alcoholic has to sit around wondering whether they're alcoholic." (or something to that affect. . .) good luck this weekend. (if you'd like, i can share some of the things that helped me stay clean and sober for almost 5 years.)
gd.

> Thanks James. Your subtle, intuitive response to my post has given me insight into the true nature of my drinking. Could you try in the future though, to just come out and say what you are thinking.
> Yeah. The truth hurts. It’s funny. I had less of a problem being labeled as mentally ill than I do with ‘alcoholic’. When I have stopped drinking in the past, and it is an all or nothing thing with me, I have looked at it as a way to prove there is no real problem. Then I don’t have to face life without alcohol – only a short sentence. I like things I can see an end to. I have also used it as a way to see if the alcohol was contributing to my depression and anxiety. The minute I went booze free for a time and still suffered, I would start to drink again. I’d think “What’s the use? I might as well drink.”
> Okay – getting my courage up here. I’ll start small. I will not drink this weekend and I will report back on Monday.
>
> Thanks
>
> Greg

 

Re: bars, cars, thrills, chills, pills and bellyaches » kid_A

Posted by NikkiT2 on September 7, 2001, at 18:03:52

In reply to bars, cars, thrills, chills, pills and bellyaches, posted by kid_A on September 7, 2001, at 15:16:45

Freaky - I;m sure you're part of my clubbing crowd!!! And to name apost after a happy mondays album (almost!)

You're just too cool babe!

Nikki

>
> i dont own a bike, though i wish i did, then i could do some serious eco-friendly drunk driving... more advice:
>
> go outside the club to throw up
>
> do *NOT* pass out in the car park
>
> smoking pot while extremely drunk ~may~ not be the brightest idea
>
> think about Jaegermeister and Tequila, then ask yourself, do I really have a death wish?
>
> do *not* hit curbs with a borrowed car, a flat can and will happen...
>
> do not drive home on flat and ruin wheel... please see above
>
> do not pick fights w/ 300 pound guys named tyrone...
>
> do not punch mirrors in clubs, they are tuff stuff, and if you break them, you'll only wind up breaking your hand (or close) in the process
>
> do not jump from the dj booth, its too high, you are too high, please start at the begining of this sentence and repeat mantra-like
>
> do not spit at people in the crowd from above without expecting a reaction...
>
> always remember, the girl you impressed by flicking a cigratte from the top floor into a trashcan below (purely by luck) will not remember your name next week, do not attempt conversation unless approached...
>
> ***friends girlfriend's are strictly off limits unless sex is involved... if you are going to burn you might as well burn for a fuck***
>
> do pick small girls up off the ground and twirl them around... that yelp they make is cute, and its fun to be manly and such...
>
> do smoke pot w/ the visiting UK dj's in the dancer's changing room...
>
> do not drink anything that looks like motor oil, especially if it is a shot
>
> beer then liquor, never sicker, liquor then beer, in the clear baby...
>
> if you pull a girl's top up and she doesnt slap you, she secretly is an exhibitionist...
>
> sexy dancing with friend's girlfriends is permited, when questioned say "we were just dancing, its no big deal to me..."
>
> always remember, you dont have to go home, but you cant stay here...
>
> if you are hanging out at the bar after close and you do not work there, are not a boyfriend/girlfriend of someone who works there, or are not leaving with someone who works there you are what is known as a scene-vampire, please impale yourself...
>
> please do not claim your coolness by launching faux-insults at club owners or dj's, you are also a scene-vampire trying to prove your own coolness, sin #1 in the scene how not to be cool book...
>
> wrestling and capering with friends girlfriends is okay, when you are wild it is always good to have an accomplice...
>
> cocaine is a daemon bitch, but its still fun
>
> always remember, true love waits, it just may not wait for you.
>
>
> your warmest atom heart,
>
> KID A

 

Re: Bikes and booze. » gdog

Posted by Greg A. on September 7, 2001, at 18:04:14

In reply to Re: Bikes and booze., posted by gdog on September 7, 2001, at 17:39:24

Thanks for the offer. I'll probably take you up on it Monday. I want to at least get a few days behind me so I feel I have something to build on. But I know that the tough part will come later when I feel I have 'proven' I don't have a problem. Then I'll need to figure out how to stay quit.
But first - tonight with no alcohol.

 

Re: bars, cars, thrills, chills, pills and bellyaches » NikkiT2

Posted by kid_A on September 7, 2001, at 21:04:37

In reply to Re: bars, cars, thrills, chills, pills and bellyaches » kid_A, posted by NikkiT2 on September 7, 2001, at 18:03:52

Hah!! you are right! you made my evening, stay warm, stay starlike, build a fort, set that on fire.... turn soft and lovely any time you can....

K_A

> Freaky - I;m sure you're part of my clubbing crowd!!! And to name apost after a happy mondays album (almost!)
>
> You're just too cool babe!
>
> Nikki
>

 

Re: Bikes and booze.

Posted by Willow on September 7, 2001, at 21:12:07

In reply to Re: Bikes and booze. » gdog, posted by Greg A. on September 7, 2001, at 18:04:14

Thanks Sar! Reading your posts always makes me feel younger, a walk down memory lane. You remind me of my friend ..., who's brother was a friend of my brother's long before I knew her. Her brother is one of the guys who I had a mad crush on. (I wonder if Kazoo would be surprised to know he wasn't the first?) Anyway years later my brother spills the beans saying that it was obvious that I had a crush on his buddy. I felt myself shrink.

What does this have to do with bikes and booze you may ask? I was nineteen, newly wed, and my main form of transportation was my bike. We had gone out for lunch with friends and afterwards decided to go to a bar for a drink. My husband married me because I was a cheap drunk.

After two drinks, we were headed for our honeymoon nest and I wondered aloud if it was safe to ride impaired. Everyone assured me this was fine. Now our apartment was quite a distance from there if you were to walk, by bicycle it didn't seem as bad. (My excuse.) So off I went.

It must have been a Sunday because one of the main streets was deserted. There was a corner store. This is were my eye for the opposite sex got me in trouble. One of them walked out of the store as I was crossing through the intersection. Somehow my foot managed to miss the pedal. (Excuse number two, I must have been watching the guy, but I still don't understand how that would have affected my feet, since I don't watch my feet as I pedal a bike.) I ended up flying over the bike.

People came out of no where to help. I just wanted to disappear. I reached my arm out to my disappearing husband, yelled out his name. He looked back and started laughing. I assured everybody that I was fine and began the trek home with a warped front tire.

So many thanks again Sar for bringing up a memory that reminds me of the joys of youth.

Hawkeyed Willow


 

Re: Bikes and booze. Greg A.

Posted by Phil on September 7, 2001, at 21:51:51

In reply to Bikes and booze., posted by Greg A. on September 7, 2001, at 13:37:56

Greg, The problem with postponing recovery is a deepening progression of the illness.
Like one of my fellow recovery friends says...The pain will wait. And it does.
I've been around 'low-bottom' alcoholics and believe me, you don't want to go there.

Follow your heart.

Phil

 

Re: bars, cars, thrills, chills, pills and bellyaches

Posted by sar on September 8, 2001, at 1:15:10

In reply to bars, cars, thrills, chills, pills and bellyaches, posted by kid_A on September 7, 2001, at 15:16:45

my most important rule is: when running drunk in the dark, be on close lookout for barbed-wire fences.

 

Re: some really sound advice » sar

Posted by kazoo on September 8, 2001, at 1:22:22

In reply to some really sound advice, posted by sar on September 6, 2001, at 22:51:15

> on my next day off i think i'll just *walk.*
> drinkers, there is my sound advice of the day.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
I have better advice than that: don't drink at all.
The number one drug problem on this planet is as close as the nearest liquor store.

kazoo

 

Re: Bikes and booze. » Greg A.

Posted by sar on September 8, 2001, at 1:28:19

In reply to Bikes and booze., posted by Greg A. on September 7, 2001, at 13:37:56

greg,

i agree with whoever said that only alcoholics sit around wondering if they're alcoholics.

i can't give any advice on the subject of quitting because i've rationalized my daily drinking (usually to the point of getting fairly drunk to trashed) as, "my life has been like a horrid movie-of-the-week for the past year, i'm just cuttin loose for awhile"--but i don't think i'll ever be able to drink like a normal person.

i like being numb too, or giggly, or extravagant--"one step over the line sweet jesus, one step over the line..."

was listening to louis jordan today (great jazzbo) and he's got a song about, "what's the use in getting sober if you're only going to get drunk again?"

on the serious side, i also agree with whoever said to follow your instincts.

it's tough. today at work i was trembling and nauseous but now it's today *after* work and i'm craving wine. this is the way it always goes.

yes, your drinking sounds like a problem to me.

if you are unhappy with it and worried about it, it is a problem.

in the past year i've lost a handful of friends due to drinking, nearly my job, it causes me to disscociate and do strange things that i regret, and most recently totalled my car and was arrested for dwi.

yet i continue.

this is very addictive stuff.

sar

 

Re: Bikes and booze.

Posted by Phil on September 8, 2001, at 9:06:30

In reply to Re: Bikes and booze. » Greg A., posted by sar on September 8, 2001, at 1:28:19

My best friend 25 years ago was a guy named Joe Guerrero. I loved this guy like a brother. We drank together and I even taught him how to drive a motorcycle(we weren't drinking at the time).
One night Joe got drunk, I know he was going thru hard times, and went thru a barbed wire fence on someones motorcycle. He didn't live to tell me about it.
I watched my mother go from a beautiful, charming and loving parent to being committed to the State Hospital in San Antonio when I was 15. There was no Betty Ford then.
After several desperate attempts and several 'programs' to get sober, she finally did in 1975. She died in '93, 18 years sober and available to me and that little kid in me that has never really learned to trust. AA was the only thing that worked and I was so very proud of her. We celebrated her birthday and her sobriety bithdays.
If you think you have a problem with alcohol, you do. Go to an AA meeting and just listen. If called upon, just say your first name and that you would rather not speak. You will hear your story.
Rambling Phil

 

Re: Bikes and booze.

Posted by Willow on September 8, 2001, at 15:11:24

In reply to Re: Bikes and booze., posted by Phil on September 8, 2001, at 9:06:30

Oh Phil,

I'm so sorry for the pain you've been through and the loss of your mother. Hopefully some of these young folks will take your message to heart.

Whispering Willow

 

*blushes* (nm) » kid_A

Posted by NikkiT2 on September 8, 2001, at 15:20:25

In reply to Re: bars, cars, thrills, chills, pills and bellyaches » NikkiT2, posted by kid_A on September 7, 2001, at 21:04:37

 

Re: Bikes and booze. » Willow

Posted by NikkiT2 on September 8, 2001, at 15:25:02

In reply to Re: Bikes and booze., posted by Willow on September 7, 2001, at 21:12:07

That amde me laugh - Im sorry!!!

In Thailand I decided to hire myself a moped (only transp;ort on island other than taxi/pickup truck!).. it only worked out at £2 for 24 hours too!! Anyay, I wheel this thing back to where I'm staying, go in for a few whiskies, (and thai whisky is a killer!) and decide to follow my husband and friends to their diving class (they had apet snake I wanted to meet!) They've gone off so I jump on, start it up, head their direction... 20 yeards later I saw a broken bridge, braked and ended up UNDERNEATH the moped!! i ciuldn;t move, but saw a friend so waved and called out to him - He waved back, and then slowly the look of realissation spread acoss his face!! So funny!!! But he called everyone out of the bar - I had about 20 people come laughing to my rescue!!

It was still fun though!!!

Nikki

 

Friends ... » NikkiT2

Posted by Willow on September 8, 2001, at 15:30:22

In reply to Re: Bikes and booze. » Willow, posted by NikkiT2 on September 8, 2001, at 15:25:02

*but saw a friend so waved and called out to him - He waved back, and then slowly the look of realissation spread acoss his face!! So funny!!! But he called everyone out of the bar - I had about 20 people come laughing to my rescue!!

FRIENDS never seem to give the right type of hand do they? Glad you enjoyed your trip!

Willow


 

Re: Bikes and booze.

Posted by Marie1 on September 8, 2001, at 16:46:32

In reply to Re: Bikes and booze. » gdog, posted by Greg A. on September 7, 2001, at 18:04:14

Greg,
Good luck tonight. I think it's kind of neat knowing others are going through the horrors of a sober weekend too! :-)
I've not had one drink all summer now, except for June 28th. (A very low point when my brother died.)
It can be very boring when all the rest of the world is out there having a wonderful time (including my spouse and friends), and I'm home alone with only the computer and books to keep me company. Of course, TV's another option, but doesn't appeal to me. I know I also have the option of joining everyone, but I'd drown in self pity and and then really drown in alcohol. So I can't go there. Yet. I know this sounds pretty dismal, but you know what keeps me going? I really like the way I feel (except when I get a migraine which is a whole different thread and probably has nothing to do with sobriety).
I mean it - I feel a gazzillion (sp?) times better than I did before. And I don't mean hangovers, I mean better than the days I wasn't hung over. Plus, I sleep better, which in itself contributes to feeling better. People tell me I look better too - thinner face (not puffy), clear eyes, etc. I had no idea the effects of alcohol were so insidious. I haven't turned into Carrie Nation, though, and am looking forward to drinking again some day, but for now I'm content with looking and feeling better. Maybe that's some incentive for you?

Marie


> Thanks for the offer. I'll probably take you up on it Monday. I want to at least get a few days behind me so I feel I have something to build on. But I know that the tough part will come later when I feel I have 'proven' I don't have a problem. Then I'll need to figure out how to stay quit.
> But first - tonight with no alcohol.

 

Re: Bikes and booze. Willow

Posted by Phil on September 8, 2001, at 17:22:11

In reply to Re: Bikes and booze., posted by Willow on September 8, 2001, at 15:11:24

> Oh Phil,
>
> I'm so sorry for the pain you've been through and the loss of your mother. Hopefully some of these young folks will take your message to heart.
>
> Whispering Willow

Willow, Thanks, I think I woke up in a not too great of a place this morning.
Sometimes these memories just come to the surface.
I run on emotion and sometimes lose my grip on the steering wheel.
I do appreciate your comment, very sweet.

Phil

 

Re: Bikes and booze.--stjames

Posted by Krazy Kat on September 8, 2001, at 17:35:54

In reply to Re: Bikes and booze. » Greg A., posted by sar on September 8, 2001, at 1:28:19

dear james here...

geez, james, you're just kind of a jerk sometimes, you know? I'm sure you think you're cutting the B.S. or being forthright or some such, but that's not always the case. You might step back and look at how your "minimalist posts" ring out sometimes...

Just my opinion.

- K.

 

K. Re: stjames » Krazy Kat

Posted by Willow on September 8, 2001, at 19:36:02

In reply to Re: Bikes and booze.--stjames, posted by Krazy Kat on September 8, 2001, at 17:35:54

Krazy Kat

What is it that offended you about his post? The part where he said that these are excuses alcoholics use?

Just nosey me
Whistling Willow


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