Psycho-Babble Social Thread 8253

Shown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

From a prodigal daughter

Posted by Abby on July 29, 2001, at 3:44:32

I have not been a regular for a while, partly because I wasn't online at home, and then when I did get a computer, the place seemed to have changed.

I haven't been very good about supporting other people here, but I could really use some help now, to be welcomed back.

For background it may be useful to read my post from Mother's day last year.

http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000508/msgs/33557.html

I saw my uncle, my mother's older brother, this week. He's always been the odd one out, viewed as manipulative etc., although I think he has mellowed somewhat. He's doing a kind of Travels with Charlie trip around the country. He's very cheap. Saving money is good, but I wish that he would get a denture to replace his front top teeth. He was much better put together ths time than last I saw him, and I've only really seen him about ten hours in the last ten years. 1.) he drove me and my grandmother to the airport 2.) my grandmother's funeral 3.) a post Christmas dinner a year later when he talked about the formerly taboo subject of my mother's suicide attempt and 4.) now.

He had some news about my mother via a nun he met at a Memorial Service. Apparently my Mom checked herself into a hospital of some sort. I have less hope about this than I think he does.

Anyway he gave me what was essentially reassuring news, that if my mother ever came back and wanted treatment he had resources available to help.

I actually enjoyed the lunch and was very relieved afterwards. I was incredibly anxious for the two days leading up to it (he just called out of the blue). But then the anxiety came back.

I saw my therapist on Friday, and I kept discussing feelings about my grandmother's funeral and incredible anxiety. She wanted me to take in that what I was feeling was a normal response to an abnormal situation, not a symptom of mood disorder. I was terrified that I wouldn't be able to meet with a client (I'm in law school now) or do good work in this state. My therapist was confident that I could handle a meeting even if I couldn't write a brief. But I'm still not so sure.

Yesterday I broke down in tears; it may be somewhat related to my period, but still. I don't have time for this right now. I need to find a new place to live, and I'm hugely embarassed that I haven't made more headway on that. I'm feeling somewhat paralysed. Not depressed really.

A few words of comfort and a cyber-hug would be much appreciated.

Abby

 

((((( ABBY )))))

Posted by Shar on July 29, 2001, at 11:52:01

In reply to From a prodigal daughter, posted by Abby on July 29, 2001, at 3:44:32

Jeeze Louise, Abby, with all the beating up you are doing to yourself you certainly do need a hug or two!

Your therapist is so right --- and it's something that I think we forget: there is such a thing as an appropriate response of fear or anxiety or sadness to some situations. Not everything is just more proof of how screwed up we are. Not in the least.

I really encourage you to believe in yourself, or if not that, believe in your therapist. She thinks you CAN do that meeting!

Hang in there. Damn, I wish there was a way I could get you to see how mean you are being to yourself, like (perhaps) other people have been to you. At the very least, we shouldn't bully ourselves; get on the damn pity pot--you've been hurt too much, it is very saddening. You don't have to hurt yourself!

Best wishes with all your tasks.
Shar


> I have not been a regular for a while, partly because I wasn't online at home, and then when I did get a computer, the place seemed to have changed.
>
> I haven't been very good about supporting other people here, but I could really use some help now, to be welcomed back.
>
> For background it may be useful to read my post from Mother's day last year.
>
> http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000508/msgs/33557.html
>
> I saw my uncle, my mother's older brother, this week. He's always been the odd one out, viewed as manipulative etc., although I think he has mellowed somewhat. He's doing a kind of Travels with Charlie trip around the country. He's very cheap. Saving money is good, but I wish that he would get a denture to replace his front top teeth. He was much better put together ths time than last I saw him, and I've only really seen him about ten hours in the last ten years. 1.) he drove me and my grandmother to the airport 2.) my grandmother's funeral 3.) a post Christmas dinner a year later when he talked about the formerly taboo subject of my mother's suicide attempt and 4.) now.
>
> He had some news about my mother via a nun he met at a Memorial Service. Apparently my Mom checked herself into a hospital of some sort. I have less hope about this than I think he does.
>
> Anyway he gave me what was essentially reassuring news, that if my mother ever came back and wanted treatment he had resources available to help.
>
> I actually enjoyed the lunch and was very relieved afterwards. I was incredibly anxious for the two days leading up to it (he just called out of the blue). But then the anxiety came back.
>
> I saw my therapist on Friday, and I kept discussing feelings about my grandmother's funeral and incredible anxiety. She wanted me to take in that what I was feeling was a normal response to an abnormal situation, not a symptom of mood disorder. I was terrified that I wouldn't be able to meet with a client (I'm in law school now) or do good work in this state. My therapist was confident that I could handle a meeting even if I couldn't write a brief. But I'm still not so sure.
>
> Yesterday I broke down in tears; it may be somewhat related to my period, but still. I don't have time for this right now. I need to find a new place to live, and I'm hugely embarassed that I haven't made more headway on that. I'm feeling somewhat paralysed. Not depressed really.
>
> A few words of comfort and a cyber-hug would be much appreciated.
>
> Abby

 

Re: ((((( ABBY )))))

Posted by Willow on July 29, 2001, at 12:13:44

In reply to ((((( ABBY ))))), posted by Shar on July 29, 2001, at 11:52:01

WELCOME BACK!!!

Jump right in!!

Willow

ps any support is better then none

 

Re:dear Abby

Posted by mila on July 29, 2001, at 12:57:03

In reply to Re: ((((( ABBY ))))), posted by Willow on July 29, 2001, at 12:13:44

Dear Abby,

sending much love your way.

Meeting your first client is scary and exciting, I understand you very well. I am sure you will do great, calm will descend on you just when you need it most, when you will see a real person in front of you talking about their need for help... Helping people is exciting. concentrate on their needs and assure them you'll do your best to help them in their situation. they will be delighted.

sorry to hear about your grandma. this is really sad.

hugs

and welcome back

mila

 

Re:dear Abby » mila

Posted by Abby on July 29, 2001, at 13:17:08

In reply to Re:dear Abby, posted by mila on July 29, 2001, at 12:57:03

Thanks Mila.

My grandmother died about six years ago. Meetings with clients are a couple of years away.

It was just a terrible fear that I would be incapacitated and unable to function and then get fired.

Maybe worrying about it is as much of a problem as anything else.

Abby

 

Re:dear Abby » Abby

Posted by AKC on July 29, 2001, at 13:50:32

In reply to Re:dear Abby » mila, posted by Abby on July 29, 2001, at 13:17:08

Abby,

As an attorney, I hope what I share may offer you some relief. I have been practicing for two years now -- I am in an area of law, employee benefits, and have only met with clients a couple of times in person, and that with a much seasoned lawyer present, have only talked on the phone with clients a dozen times, and that on issues that I was well versed in.

I share this, because the area of law you go into, the firm, agency, etc., you practice at, and so forth, will determine you exposure to clients. When you finally do meet with a client, you will be ready. No young attorney, fresh out of law school, is ready to practice law - you will need mentoring. Some areas of law, like mine, take a couple of years to really ramp up to a level to have any significant client contact. Others, come much easier.

I hope this can give you a little relief of the anxiety about your future career. It has only been two years since I was in law school -- I have not forgotten the stress that it alone brings into ones life.

I was not present on this board before when you were here. But I am glad you are here -- if for no other reason, than I won't be the only one here to put up with the snide lawyer comments from kazoo. < grin >

However, I do want to end on a serious note. I hope that in returning, we are able to bring you some comfort that you are needing. Cyber hugs can be so inadequate. But know I am sending you one.

Your resident hounddog.


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