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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by shar on November 7, 2000, at 12:34:42
In reply to Re: Historical Cover-up!!!, posted by coral on November 7, 2000, at 10:18:58
The Ambassador (and Havenmaster, I bet) MUCH appreciate the female citizenry, and the appreciation might be mutual to some of the single female citizens. There should be a custom that the Ambassador and the Havenmaster are on-call to the single females, since females are the vast majority here. (get the drift?) But, I can't print in the Archives the real reason the two (ecstatic) males are on-call (that would be scandalous!). So I need an innocent-sounding reason why the very happy males can be called upon day or night by the single female citizens.
Is that more clear?
HPR CH
> Dear CHEPTH,
>
> Curator of Historical Esteem and Priestess of Theorethical Highness????
>
> Now, you have confused me. As a true Lumptonian, I am often confused, dazed, generally befuddled as well as mistress of computer idjitry, but I am clueless as to what reasons you're seeking.
>
> I wholeheartedly support the Ambassador cover-up, especially if it's a warm banky.
>
> CPE (STERLING!!!)
Posted by Emmanuela on November 7, 2000, at 13:15:46
In reply to Hmmmm. Maybe I will drop this train of thought., posted by shar on November 7, 2000, at 12:34:42
As your Prime Ministress and Instep Choreographer, we've been pondering the Cover Up of the Ambassador's True Nature. Politically, in the recent past, as contrasted with the Ancient Writings (lest we step on the toes of the Curator[which would NOT reflect well on the Choreographer]),there have been some instances of cover-up, and not just with a banky. There are some well-hidden articles in which a quilt is named and, and we know this is hard to believe, once an umbrella was mentioned. We (the Royal) think we (the populous) need to keep a careful half-open and heavy lidded eye on the direction our Ambassador is leading us. Inspired by coral's couchcarrot activities, the Ambassador may, and we only say MAY, be leading us toward a direction in which incipient hypomania holds reign (or in the past, rain, hence the umbrella, probably). We esteem him beyond all measure, and need to help him stay on the politically correct path, lest corruption begin to raise its exhausted head.
PM & IC
Posted by Emmanuela on November 7, 2000, at 13:23:52
In reply to Re: Curator » Emmanuela, posted by B Day on November 7, 2000, at 1:44:14
This brought an actual Loud Laugh Aloud to the PM & IC. "Actually the Ambassador never knew they were knuckles until recently. He had always just thought he had short
fingers until someone pointed out to him the two digits on the other side."
Posted by B Day on November 7, 2000, at 13:43:22
In reply to Re: Mr. Ambassador . . . the Messiah is ....., posted by coral on November 7, 2000, at 6:46:47
Sterling Couch Person Extraordinaire and Noble Assistant,
Hers is a mysterious world.
The Ambassador wonders if the Pope has had someone to carry him to our Messiah for a visit??? This would seem reasonable.
Perhaps she has ventured into the wilderness of the Normals once again to do battle with the great evils there?!??
Perhaps our little butterfly is out gathering pollen??
I feel certain though in time she will flitter back to us.
Racer, we wish you our best in your forays, but you are sorely missed.
With affection,
Your Ambassador, B
---------------------------------------------------
> Dear Mr. Ambassador,
>
> I am loathe to bring a problem to your attention when you're talking turkey (surely that's what you meant by fowl speaking?), but apparently, the Messiah has run off again.
>
> Of course, it could be a Messianic test to see if we could find her, or she could be out missionarying with other potential Lumptonians, or maybe she's gone on retreat (but what's the couch for then????). But, she did post a crucial list of Messianianical missives under a separate heading. Our Esteemed Historical Curator had to track her down to capture her words of wisdom and decrees from her own sticky brown lips, and had it not been for that exhaustive search by our EHC, we might never have known that nubile young slaves made of ginger snaps can be formatted.
>
> Would a word from you help bring her back into the fold?
>
> Sterling CPE
Posted by B Day on November 7, 2000, at 14:03:02
In reply to High Priestess of Theoretical Realities, posted by shar on November 7, 2000, at 8:35:07
> But of course, High Priestess of Theoretical Realities!
>
> Sterling CPEYes, that thing you just called you...that sounds good! Theoretical realities...simply amazing. The Ambassador feels blessed by Her for having so many brilliant Lumptonians around him.
The Ambassador would like to remind both The Lumptonian Herstorical Curator, High Priestess Of Theoretical Realities and the Prime Ministeress, Lumptonian National Choreographer of the likelihood of "burn-out" you will face by assuming these dual roles.
I offer that as a little extra incentive for the two of you. It is something else that you can look forward to.
It is obvious that the upper management level of our Queendom is bloating nicely.
Ambassador B, Proud Lumptonian
Posted by B Day on November 7, 2000, at 14:09:50
In reply to Historical Cover-up to Occur, posted by shar on November 7, 2000, at 8:53:41
My Dear Ladies of Lumptonia,
It would seem that the Ambassador is responsible for creating a misunderstanding among the femininery of our nation as to his intentions toward them.
He wishes to express that by flying into Hypomania with you, he only wished to unite with you in new and interesting ways, thus strengthening the bond between us.
If the good women of our land can find forgiveness for the Ambassador, he wishes to continue to extend the invitation.
He would also like for you to know that he has already purchased large quantities of Hersey's and Cool-Whip for the occasion.
If such a gathering is agreeable to the ladies, I will touch base with Hypomania today and reserve us a room there.
Your Ambassador, B
-------------------------------
> The Historical Curator and High Priestess of Theoretical Realities has decided that, as the Ambassador has "appreciated" women in the usual male style (leer, drool), this event shall not be recorded as the facade that our hilariously funny and "esteemed" (steamed?) leader is a wise and sensitive one should be preserved for the good of the people.
>
> On the other hand, not writing about it doesn't mean that all of us women have to forgo certain interactions that sometimes take place when CPE and her WH hibernate on the same couch. It's just a matter of discovering a reasonable explanation for why the citizenry should so engage the ambassador and Greg (the only two males of which I am aware).
>
> Reasons will be accepted beginning immediately.
>
> HC, HPTE
Posted by B Day on November 7, 2000, at 14:12:14
In reply to We have found our Seer, posted by shar on November 7, 2000, at 9:00:33
> As the Ambassador points out, SGH appears to have a special talent for reading signs of nature and perhaps even hitherto unknown phenomena. I nominate her (?) as official Seer of Lumptonia.
>
> HC, HPTR
>YES, SEER!!! That's the word I was fumbling for! I thought of Astronomer, Astrologist, Weatherperson, person who sees stuff, but even after several such exhausting seconds of such contemplation, "Seer" continued to elude me.
...and this is another excellent nomination!
SGH, I do hope that you will accept our warm invitation.
It is so great to see our leadership coming together. I don't know were we are going, only where we've been, but when we get there, we'll be there and that's something, even if it's nothing.
Your Ambassador, B
Posted by B Day on November 7, 2000, at 14:17:06
In reply to Trying to decide if I'm a lump or blob...., posted by Christina on November 7, 2000, at 11:36:40
Christina,
You indeed seem to possess certain blobistic qualities. The Blobs and the Lumptonians have co-mingled for many years, possibly on couches much like the one of our Sterling Couch Person Extraordinare. I've always said, "there's a little Blob in all us Lumptonians." The Ambassador feels that is a good thing and would like to encourage you to embrace your rich, dual heritage.
It is much of the basis for the unity we have with both the Blobs and the Havenites. By lumping together, we provide a formidable defense against the persecution of the aggressive and war-like Normals.
This is one of the reasons the Ambassador wishes to improve our national relations with the Hypomanians and others such as the Schizophrenians.
We know little of the latter, but they seem to be a strikingly diverse people. At least the one I met was.
The Ambassador also recognizes that you are still a self-disciplined Lumptonian even though you have obviously been a victim of Normal brain-washing techniques. Have not we all?
You said it yourself. Even though you go to work every day, you are still just barely there. Even though your underwear is clean, your house is still a wreck. The Ambassador would encourage you to look at this bright side and appreciate the strengths you have. You are a credit to Lumptonia.
Your Ambassador, B
--------------------------------
> I go to work every day, but I'm barely there.
> I eat a lot of chocolate, but I also bake brownies, and not merely eat Nestle Quik from the can.
> My house is a wreck, but I do have clean undergarments.
> My car is a filthy disgrace, but it does have more than a quarter tank of gas.
> My desk is piled with crap and out of control, but I did mangage to file one piece of paper today.
> I did not bathe or brush my hair today, but I did brush my teeth.
> I have managed to avert calls from my boss regarding a project that's due and I have not put forth one iota of effort to complete it, but I have thought about it a lot.
>
> So what am I... lump or blob?
Posted by coral on November 7, 2000, at 14:54:34
In reply to Hmmmm. Maybe I will drop this train of thought., posted by shar on November 7, 2000, at 12:34:42
Dear HPR CH,
NOW I sees!!!! Well, reasons might include to take out the garbage (they both have dump trucks, no?), provide gentle foot massages . . . with the coming winter, snow removal? To reach the cans of Nestle's Quik on the very tallest shelves (I am a short Lumptonian), provide comfort and solace . . . and I would be remiss if I didn't mention interactivity (to be interpreted as one wishes...)
Sterling CPE
Posted by coral on November 7, 2000, at 14:58:52
In reply to Re: High Priestess of Theoretical Realities » shar, posted by B Day on November 7, 2000, at 14:03:02
Dear Mr. Ambassador,
Ohhh, ye of kind heart and good soul, did you HONESTLY, actually use the term "bloat" when discussing feminine citizenry???
::::waits to see our esteemed Ambassador squiggle out of that one!!!! ::::
Affectionately,
Sterling CPE < VEG >
Posted by Racer on November 7, 2000, at 15:21:50
In reply to Re: Mr. Ambassador . . . the Messiah is ..... » coral, posted by B Day on November 7, 2000, at 13:43:22
What's so mysterious about my world? Trees are pink, just like in yours...
Anyway, I was just curled up cuddling my pet sloth...
And formatting ginger snaps...
Posted by B Day on November 7, 2000, at 17:00:57
In reply to Re: MR AMBASSADOR!!!!!, posted by coral on November 7, 2000, at 14:58:52
> Dear Mr. Ambassador,
>
> Ohhh, ye of kind heart and good soul, did you HONESTLY, actually use the term "bloat" when discussing feminine citizenry???
>
> ::::waits to see our esteemed Ambassador squiggle out of that one!!!! ::::
>
> Affectionately,
>
> Sterling CPE < VEG >
The Ambassador would like to apologize ONCE AGAIN for his unfortunate choice of words and careless use of the Queen's English. This is the one aspect of the Ambassador's existence which seems to becoming routine.So let me say (deep breath -let it out) sssshhhhhhhhhhheeeeewwwwww! ...I am sorry for callously disturbing the hormones of our fair people and will try to be more sensitive to them in the future.
From the Couch Of The Office Of The Ambassador In The Dog House,
B, the Squiggling Ambassador
Posted by coral on November 7, 2000, at 18:02:11
In reply to Re: Mr. Ambassador . . . the Messiah is ....., posted by Racer on November 7, 2000, at 15:21:50
Oh, the wise and wonderful ways of our Messiahess!!!
Did you say you were ginger-snapping nubile young slaves? Cuddling with your pet sloth is a true Lumptonian model! As always, you inspire by your fine example. I'm so glad to know that your rose-colored glasses are still in place. Please give your mare a carrot for me....
CPE
Posted by coral on November 7, 2000, at 18:15:09
In reply to Re: MR AMBASSADOR!!!!!, posted by B Day on November 7, 2000, at 17:00:57
Our poor, dear Mr. Ambassador,
::::whispering softly :::: Hormones is another word that'll keep you in the dog house -- surely you've heard the phrase "I have PMS and a .38"?
I, too, suffer from the malady of hoof-in-mouth disease. There are times I only open my mouth to exchange feet.
We, and quite certainly I speak for other female Lumptonians, understand the true nature of males, especially ones who are stock-piling chocolate and whipped cream. And, we also understand the great sacrifice you and Greg (our esteemed HavenMaster) have made, in offering to be on-call for all single female Lumptonians. Such sacrifice should not go unrewarded and unless I am stoned for my forwardness, I encourage you to come out of the dog house. We are all so touched to know that you two would actually get off the couch . . . you know, this isn't coming out quite the way I meant it, so..... rather than risk my most pristine motives from being misunderstood, I shall hush.
Sterling (somewhat tarnished) CPE
Posted by Noa on November 7, 2000, at 18:18:36
In reply to Re: Hmmmm. Maybe I will drop this train of thought., posted by Emmanuela on November 7, 2000, at 13:15:46
...may be rather too much for my lumpy blobby brain to follow. I am beginning to suspect that some prominent lumps are demonstrating non-lump qualities that involve a lot of creative thought, complex analyses of motivation and character, and the authoring of complex treatises that demonstrate active, creative thought so uncharacteristic of the true passivity of lumpy behavior.Imagine how hard it is for all those compicated word communications to negotiate the cotton-filled recesses of my lumpy/blobby brain!!!
Posted by Noa on November 7, 2000, at 18:21:39
In reply to Re: We have found our Seer » shar, posted by B Day on November 7, 2000, at 14:12:14
>
> YES, SEER!!! That's the word I was fumbling for! I thought of Astronomer, Astrologist, Weatherperson, person who sees stuff, but even after several such exhausting seconds of such contemplation, "Seer" continued to elude me.
What about "Lumpacle"?
>
Posted by Noa on November 7, 2000, at 18:24:42
In reply to Re: Hmmmm. Train's on the tracks, posted by coral on November 7, 2000, at 14:54:34
> To reach the cans of Nestle's Quik on the very tallest shelves
Ahem, isn't it more traditional to forgo the use of shelves and other "normal" storage structures, in favor of the pile, mound, heap or floor?
Posted by Noa on November 7, 2000, at 18:27:34
In reply to Re: Mr. Ambassador . . . the Messiah is ....., posted by coral on November 7, 2000, at 18:02:11
Could this be the most PRODUCTIVE thread in Babble history??????
Wouldn't that be ironic?
Posted by coral on November 7, 2000, at 18:28:21
In reply to Re: We have found our Seer, posted by Noa on November 7, 2000, at 18:21:39
Oh, darling Noa,
Priceless! You, my dear, are not slouching in the creative department a'tall.... :)
>
> What about "Lumpacle"?
> >CPE (Sterling)
Posted by coral on November 7, 2000, at 18:34:58
In reply to Re: Hmmmm. Train's on the tracks, posted by Noa on November 7, 2000, at 18:24:42
Dear Noa,
This is a prime example of fuzzy logic... that I was the one who put it away ::::wildly chuckling::::
It was just last night that my WH snatched the peanut butter from the table beside my couch.I am an under-tall Lumptonian, so have two perfectly wonderful reasons for never putting anything away --- Lumptonian behavior in a miniature person....
Sterling CPE
Posted by S. Howard on November 7, 2000, at 19:14:41
In reply to Re: Let us Celebrate S. Howard, posted by Angela5 on November 7, 2000, at 0:04:38
OH MY GOD STARBUCKS DELIVERS???
Posted by shar on November 7, 2000, at 19:54:46
In reply to Re: MR AMBASSADOR!!!!!, posted by coral on November 7, 2000, at 14:58:52
> Dear Mr. Ambassador,x >
> Ohhh, ye of kind heart and good soul, did you HONESTLY, actually use the term "bloat" when discussing feminine citizenry???
>
> ::::waits to see our esteemed Ambassador squiggle out of that one!!!! ::::
>
> Affectionately,
>
> Sterling CPE < VEG >
Posted by shar on November 7, 2000, at 19:59:59
In reply to Re: whispering to Mr. Ambassador, posted by coral on November 7, 2000, at 18:15:09
> Our poor, dear Mr. Ambassador,
>
> ::::whispering softly :::: Hormones is another word that'll keep you in the dog house -- surely you've heard the phrase "I have PMS and a .38"? x
>
> I, too, suffer from the malady of hoof-in-mouth disease. There are times I only open my mouth to exchange feet.
>
> We, and quite certainly I speak for other female Lumptonians, understand the true nature of males, especially ones who are stock-piling chocolate and whipped cream. And, we also understand the great sacrifice you and Greg (our esteemed HavenMaster) have made, in offering to be on-call for all single female Lumptonians. Such sacrifice should not go unrewarded and unless I am stoned for my forwardness, I encourage you to come out of the dog house. We are all so touched to know that you two would actually get off the couch . . . you know, this isn't coming out quite the way I meant it, so..... rather than risk my most pristine motives from being misunderstood, I shall hush.
>
> Sterling (somewhat tarnished) CPE
Posted by B Day on November 7, 2000, at 20:01:36
In reply to Re: whispering to Mr. Ambassador, posted by coral on November 7, 2000, at 18:15:09
> Our poor, dear Mr. Ambassador,
>
> ::::whispering softly :::: Hormones is another word that'll keep you in the dog house
>Sssshhhhhhhheeeeeewwwwwwwwwww!!! ONCE AGAIN, The Ambassador would like to apologize for his MOST RECENT poor choice of wording which he directed to the femininery of Lumptonia.
> -- surely you've heard the phrase "I have PMS and a .38"?
>(shiver) The Sterling Couch Person Extraordinaire is scaring the Ambassador. He wishes the CPE to know that he REALLY MEANS IT when he says he is sorry.
> I, too, suffer from the malady of hoof-in-mouth disease. There are times I only open my mouth to exchange feet.
>The Ambassador so enjoys the gentle way the Sterling CPE raises hell with him.
> We, and quite certainly I speak for other female Lumptonians, understand the true nature of males, especially ones who are stock-piling chocolate and whipped cream.
>The Ambassador would like to say that he feels misunderstood, but of course he can not say that.
> And, we also understand the great sacrifice you and Greg (our esteemed HavenMaster) have made, in offering to be on-call for all single female Lumptonians.
>It is the least we could do? Is it not the role of Ambassadors such as the Havenmaster and myself to be piecemakers.
> Such sacrifice should not go unrewarded and unless I am stoned for my forwardness, I encourage you to come out of the dog house.
>Even as you speak, I am sticking halfway out of it.
> We are all so touched to know that you two would actually get off the couch . . . you know, this isn't coming out quite the way I meant it, so..... rather than risk my most pristine motives from being misunderstood, I shall hush.
>
> Sterling (somewhat tarnished) CPENot ever having been particularly attracted to it and being largely unfamiliar with its needs and anatomy, the Ambassador has never attempted to get off his couch.
Perhaps though he will try with the hourglass shaped lamp on his table which seems to have an element of danger about itself is l@@kin' especially goooood at the moment.
No doubt about it. The Ambassador needs to call his Pdoc tomorrow.
Ambassador B
Posted by S. Howard on November 7, 2000, at 20:06:06
In reply to Re: We have found our Seer » shar, posted by B Day on November 7, 2000, at 14:12:14
What a grand day! As newly elected seer of the kingdom, a position I am honored to assume, I can finally quit my crappy job and devote my real talents to Lumptonia. Won't my husband be happy!My first duty as seer is to call for a vote on the official drink of the kingdom, as we have already nominated a food. I have spent a good 3 or 4 seconds mulling this over. Coffee, of course, is more like oxygen or water - a necessity of life more than a drink. Also, you have to brew it. My second nomination is for red wine. Why, do you ask? Because beer and white wine should be cold - unless you're German - and that means getting up to go to the fridge. What a hassle, I say. Mixed drinks are worse...messing with ice and limes and all that. And don't even talk about blender drinks!
Of course, I'm saving the moonshine habit for my retirement, when I move into a shack on Rocky Top.
That leaves red wine, unless I'm forgetting something. If you insist on leaving the bottle in the kitchen, instead of walking around the house swigging from it -just get yourself a really
really big wineglass... we're talking about the Clint Eastwood of wineglasses, here... and that should suit the most dedicated Lumptonian.
Yea or Nay?
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