Psycho-Babble Relationships Thread 846401

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lying on a date (b/c Im crazy)

Posted by med_empowered on August 15, 2008, at 12:55:42

so I met someone online and arranged a quick lunch date, knowing/hoping it wouldn't lead to anything major. I lied my a$$ off!
Q: What do you do?
a: I go to school at XXX university (I'm actually taking online tech classes...its the only thing I can handle post-breakdown).
Q: Where do you live?
a: apt. w/ roommates (actually, I live at home with my parents...again, its considered the "best thing" for me to do post breakdown)

On and on it went. The interaction was awkward. The dude was only 3 years or so older than me, but he had ALL HIS SH!T together. College grad, homeowner, etc. Thank god I'm reasonably attractive; otherwise, I doubt the thing would have even lasted 5 minutes.

So, I'm happy I actually quit being a recluse for a bit and got out there. I don't really know how I feel about my incessant lying, though; its like, I'm at a point where I'm (re)building my existence, so while I hate lying...I don't really see any alternative. Besides, I wasn't lying to get him into bed or anything; sad as it sounds (and yes, this is quite sad), I really just wanted to go on a date for the sake of honing my social skills.
All I can hope for now is that he doesn't talk to his friends about some awkward dude he went out on a date with who didn't seem to have very much going on. I also hope he didn't notice I was kind of sedated from the Klonopin I had to take before meeting up.

Arrrrrgh! I don't know whether to start breaking stuff in frustration (because I'm crazy, getting older, and becoming a socially "undesirable" person) or applaud myself (for putting forth the initiative to "get out there," even if it involved lying my butt off).

What do you all think? Anyone have similar experiences?

Thanks in advance.

 

Re: lying on a date (b/c Im crazy) med_empowered

Posted by nfc on August 16, 2008, at 4:52:30

In reply to lying on a date (b/c Im crazy), posted by med_empowered on August 15, 2008, at 12:55:42

hey med,

i give you 2 thumbs up for putting yourself out there. its better than being recluse. ezr sed than done when you don't feel well though. i don't have a similar experience but I'm similar in the sense that i'm trying to rehab myself into being a more sociable person. when the depression, guilt and shame was quite intense for me, all I did was keep to myself. at work as well. I'd open up a bit to people who knew my situation but it was hard trying to be social w/ everyone. even now although I'm much improved. I'd say keep getting out there in social situations that you're comfortable w/. Forgo the klonopin if possible for a short while if possible if that helps w/ you being more in the conversation. don't do it if it puts u in a bad situation. about the lying, well u gotta do what you gotta do. at first you don't have to spill everything anyway. if it gets serious, i feel you'll have to eventually tell him the truth. i feel that you shouldn't let the lying go on for a long time. if u see this guy maybe 1 or 2 more times and if it seems genuine then maybe let him know the truth? it'll clear the air and will really show true feelings in dealing w/ such a situation. whether its a deal or no deal so to speak. u make the final call though as what I say is just things to think about. hope it works out and even if it doesn't think of it as a stepping stone to greater things!

take care and have fun!

nfc


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