Psycho-Babble Relationships Thread 822344

Shown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

worried about another woman

Posted by hoolahoop on April 9, 2008, at 8:17:21

my fiancee has been chatting to a woman he met on here. they are 'friends' but i really dont trust her. i dont know much about her but i know shes really sick. a while ago i found a txt from her saying how she'd like to grope him, well all hell broke loose and i went mad. how dare she. she knew how we were together. i still cant get it out my head. he still chats to her ,phones ,txts, i do trust my bf but i dont trust HER , i can guess she is still flirting with him , everytime he gets a txt my mind goes paranoid. its horrible. i know shes in another country but it doesnt help.

how do i cope with this? i wish she was dead

 

Re: worried about another woman hoolahoop

Posted by Phillipa on April 9, 2008, at 12:38:56

In reply to worried about another woman, posted by hoolahoop on April 9, 2008, at 8:17:21

You don't have to put up with it.I'm truly sorry. Phillipa

 

Re: worried about another woman

Posted by hoolahoop on April 10, 2008, at 8:51:23

In reply to Re: worried about another woman hoolahoop, posted by Phillipa on April 9, 2008, at 12:38:56

phillipa , you have nothing to be sorry about!
take care

 

Re: worried about another woman hoolahoop

Posted by Phillipa on April 10, 2008, at 22:01:43

In reply to Re: worried about another woman, posted by hoolahoop on April 10, 2008, at 8:51:23

Hope you're okay I'm available through babblemail. Phlllipa

 

Re: please be sensitive hoolahoop

Posted by Dr. Bob on April 11, 2008, at 2:05:50

In reply to worried about another woman, posted by hoolahoop on April 9, 2008, at 8:17:21

> i wish she was dead

Please be sensitive to the feelings of others (including hers) even if yours are hurt.

But please don't take this personally, this doesn't mean I don't like you or think you're a bad person.

I encourage anyone who has questions about this or about posting policies in general, or is interested in alternative ways of expressing themselves, to see the FAQ:

http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#enforce

Follow-ups regarding these issues should be redirected to Psycho-Babble Administration. They, as well as replies to the above post, should of course themselves be civil.

Thanks,

Bob

 

Re: please be sensitive

Posted by tunguska on April 12, 2008, at 4:42:16

In reply to Re: please be sensitive hoolahoop, posted by Dr. Bob on April 11, 2008, at 2:05:50

Let me just say, there are two other things to connsider...that the green eyed monster usually messes up more relationships than it ever helps. Giving your bf room to be an adult (by adult I mean decide for himself how to handle things - and how to consider your feelings) and not torturing yourself over female attention from elsewhere helps build trust. That being said if he really starts to misbehave, then its him who is being the doofus and be careful not to make the mistake of deciding another female is evil purely because the male hasn't got sense to steer clear.

 

Re: worried about another woman

Posted by caraher on April 12, 2008, at 11:39:24

In reply to worried about another woman, posted by hoolahoop on April 9, 2008, at 8:17:21

>i do trust my bf but i dont trust HER

You don't have to trust her. It's between you and your fiance. Even if this other woman disappeared that's one down and a few hundred million women to go as far as potential rivals, if that's how you see it. So forget about what she does and says. You can't control that; you can't do more than ask your fiance to take your needs into account in how or whether he continues this friendship.

It's clear that you're not OK with the kind of attention he's receiving, and it's your right to tell him that this is tearing you up and, at the very least, he needs to ask her to drop the overtly sexual flirting. And of course, it could be that you can't live with even a more innocent friendship, in which case you really need to tell him he can't have both you and this long-distance relationship (whatever its character).

> how do i cope with this?

It's hard. You've got to lay your cards on the table with the one person from whom you have a right to expect not merely respect, but an abiding concern for your happiness. If he can't or won't do that you should probably thank this other woman for showing you in advance what to expect *before* you marry your boyfriend.

 

Re: worried about another woman

Posted by sassyfrancesca on May 9, 2008, at 8:21:55

In reply to Re: worried about another woman, posted by caraher on April 12, 2008, at 11:39:24

You are upset with the wrong person. Your fiance is the one who needs to stop this.

You cannot control what someone else does; why be angry with this woman?

It is your fiance's place to put a stop to it.

 

Re: worried about another woman hoolahoop

Posted by AbbieNormal on May 17, 2008, at 18:47:42

In reply to worried about another woman, posted by hoolahoop on April 9, 2008, at 8:17:21

Online relationships can be oddly intimate even though the 2 people never meet. Why is he seeking intimacy elsewhere?

IMO, you have every right to tell him to knock it off. If he doesn't - that tells you a lot about what your future holds.


Abbie

 

Re: worried about another woman hoolahoop

Posted by Phillipa on May 22, 2008, at 13:20:37

In reply to worried about another woman, posted by hoolahoop on April 9, 2008, at 8:17:21

Is it still going on? Phillipa

 

Re: worried about another woman Phillipa

Posted by Maxime on July 15, 2008, at 21:31:01

In reply to Re: worried about another woman hoolahoop, posted by Phillipa on May 22, 2008, at 13:20:37

> Is it still going on? Phillipa

From what I have heard it is still going on. And the other women is planning a trip to the UK in the fall. Could get steamy!

Maxime

 

Re: worried about another woman Maxime

Posted by Phillipa on September 27, 2008, at 13:32:27

In reply to Re: worried about another woman Phillipa, posted by Maxime on July 15, 2008, at 21:31:01

I wonder if it got steamy? Phillipa


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