Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 1095774

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How can i feel more salvaged/secure?

Posted by Lamdage22 on November 7, 2017, at 10:53:01

What techniques are there to feel salvaged and secure?

 

Re: How can i feel more salvaged/secure?

Posted by Lamdage22 on November 7, 2017, at 10:53:30

In reply to How can i feel more salvaged/secure?, posted by Lamdage22 on November 7, 2017, at 10:53:01

notify you

 

Re: How can i feel more salvaged/secure?

Posted by baseball55 on November 7, 2017, at 17:49:00

In reply to How can i feel more salvaged/secure?, posted by Lamdage22 on November 7, 2017, at 10:53:01

> What techniques are there to feel salvaged and secure?

I'd love to help in what little way I can, but could you be a little more specific? I'm not sure what you mean by salvaged? And in what ways to you not feel secure - safety, life circumstances, relationships, other?

 

Re: How can i feel more salvaged/secure?

Posted by Lamdage22 on November 8, 2017, at 4:49:01

In reply to Re: How can i feel more salvaged/secure?, posted by baseball55 on November 7, 2017, at 17:49:00

I dont know how to say this in english. I just want to feel like i am not alone and that i am being cared for. I want to feel safe in society i guess and safe in my relationships. I dont trust people very much i guess.

 

Re: How can i feel more salvaged/secure?

Posted by baseball55 on November 8, 2017, at 20:56:40

In reply to Re: How can i feel more salvaged/secure?, posted by Lamdage22 on November 8, 2017, at 4:49:01

> I dont know how to say this in english. I just want to feel like i am not alone and that i am being cared for. I want to feel safe in society i guess and safe in my relationships. I dont trust people very much i guess.

Wow! This is just the way I used to be. I felt alone, uncared for, had no ability to trust people and (therefore) no close relationships. Trust is the very first thing. Without trust, you will never feel close and so you will always feel somewhat cut-off, alone and uncared for. I was lucky. I started seeing a therapist I felt I could trust and over time I trusted him more and more and made myself vulnerable to him and felt cared for by him. I was also lucky to have started going to AA where I could learn to bring that willingness to be vulnerable and trust to others, so I was not overly dependent on a paid professional.

A good therapist with whom you can feel a close rapport can teach you what trust and vulnerability feel like. If you can then gradually develop a few other relationships where you can try to be a bit more open and vulnerable. Not necessarily or even preferably a romantic relationship. Learning to trust and feel vulnerable to others is really a precondition to a successful romantic relationship. Learning the knack of friendship would be the first step.

Unfortunately, this is not an easy process. You really do need to make yourself vulnerable and trust that you will be cared for and not rejected. Working with a therapist to start helps because they will not reject you and will teach you that it's possible to feel this way.

I don't know how available therapy is in Germany (right? - the home of the talking cure) and I know lots of people say, I tried it and it didn't help. But if you can find someone you feel good with (a good fit) and are willing to trust and honestly express your feelings (many people are not and then give up, saying, well this didn't help), then therapy can be extremely useful.

 

Re: How can i feel more salvaged/secure?

Posted by Lamdage22 on November 9, 2017, at 12:54:46

In reply to Re: How can i feel more salvaged/secure?, posted by baseball55 on November 8, 2017, at 20:56:40

Yes Germany. The talking cure?

I have a pretty good therapist i think and i am planning to go to a clinic with lots of therapy sometime soon. I will make a conscious effort to be candid.

The Psychobabblers care for me :) Thanks.

 

Re: How can i feel more salvaged/secure?

Posted by baseball55 on November 9, 2017, at 18:59:50

In reply to Re: How can i feel more salvaged/secure?, posted by Lamdage22 on November 9, 2017, at 12:54:46

> Yes Germany. The talking cure?
The talking cure is what Freud and his early colleagues called therapy.
>
> I have a pretty good therapist i think and i am planning to go to a clinic with lots of therapy sometime soon. I will make a conscious effort to be candid.

I'm glad to hear it. So many people just dismiss therapy because they don't feel helped. There are rotten therapists out there, but also rotten patients who are not willing even to try to trust or look at themselves honestly at all. I've known people who are angry all the time and don't see they are like this. They go to therapy and get angry about the therapy and are completely unable to recognize that this is a pattern for them. If the therapist tries to point this out, they figure s/he is just not able to hear what a lousy therapist s/he is.
>
> The Psychobabblers care for me :) Thanks.
It's a nice thing to have, right?

 

Re: How can i feel more salvaged/secure?

Posted by Lamdage22 on November 11, 2017, at 5:21:58

In reply to Re: How can i feel more salvaged/secure?, posted by baseball55 on November 9, 2017, at 18:59:50

> > Yes Germany. The talking cure?
> The talking cure is what Freud and his early colleagues called therapy.

Oh i see. And cocaine helps therapy right? I would not want to be a patient of Freud...

> > I have a pretty good therapist i think and i am planning to go to a clinic with lots of therapy sometime soon. I will make a conscious effort to be candid.
>
> I'm glad to hear it. So many people just dismiss therapy because they don't feel helped. There are rotten therapists out there, but also rotten patients who are not willing even to try to trust or look at themselves honestly at all. I've known people who are angry all the time and don't see they are like this. They go to therapy and get angry about the therapy and are completely unable to recognize that this is a pattern for them. If the therapist tries to point this out, they figure s/he is just not able to hear what a lousy therapist s/he is.

I am not angry at my therapist.. :)

> >
> > The Psychobabblers care for me :) Thanks.
> It's a nice thing to have, right?

Absolutely.

 

Re: How can i feel more salvaged/secure?

Posted by Lamdage22 on November 11, 2017, at 5:41:21

In reply to Re: How can i feel more salvaged/secure?, posted by Lamdage22 on November 11, 2017, at 5:21:58

I just have an angry look oftentimes. So i am told.

 

Re: How can i feel more salvaged/secure?

Posted by baseball55 on November 11, 2017, at 18:21:43

In reply to Re: How can i feel more salvaged/secure?, posted by Lamdage22 on November 11, 2017, at 5:41:21

I don't think Freud gave his patients cocaine. Just that he used it himself.

No, I didn't mean to suggest you have anger issues. Just used that as an example of how some people just can't seem to benefit from therapy because they blame others in their lives for everything, then blame their therapist for the therapy not working and are completely unable to hear it if the therapist suggests maybe there's a deeper problem.

Therapists must also deal with people who have addictive behaviors (not necessarily drugs or alcohol, but sometimes jumping from relationship to relationship) and aren't able to change. Also people who intellectualize everything and just won't acknowledge their emotions and get resentful when the therapist tries to talk about emotions.

My point was just that I often hear people talk about how bad therapists are, how it was huge waste of time and money for them. And I know there are plenty of bad therapists - I went to a couple. But there are also bad patients, in the sense of people who just really don't want to open things up, though they may say they do.


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