Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 1094284

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Can i burden my 78 year old father with problems?

Posted by Lamdage22 on July 31, 2017, at 13:29:43

My guess is not anymore... It is too much for him.

 

Re: Can i burden my 78 year old father with problems? Lamdage22

Posted by baseball55 on July 31, 2017, at 19:30:36

In reply to Can i burden my 78 year old father with problems?, posted by Lamdage22 on July 31, 2017, at 13:29:43

> My guess is not anymore... It is too much for him.

I guess it depends on what problems you are burdening him with and what burdens you are imposing.

 

Re: Can i burden my 78 year old father with problems?

Posted by Lamdage22 on August 1, 2017, at 7:45:49

In reply to Re: Can i burden my 78 year old father with problems? Lamdage22, posted by baseball55 on July 31, 2017, at 19:30:36

> > My guess is not anymore... It is too much for him.
>
> I guess it depends on what problems you are burdening him with and what burdens you are imposing.

Well we got together with an association for people with mental problems and have made a dorm for the same. Now the people in the dorm dont clean the house. Our house.

 

Re: Can i burden my 78 year old father with problems?

Posted by Lamdage22 on August 2, 2017, at 4:32:51

In reply to Re: Can i burden my 78 year old father with problems?, posted by Lamdage22 on August 1, 2017, at 7:45:49

And one resident is pretty aggressive about everything. I dont like these problems at home.

 

Re: Can i burden my 78 year old father with problems?

Posted by baseball55 on August 2, 2017, at 19:12:57

In reply to Re: Can i burden my 78 year old father with problems?, posted by Lamdage22 on August 2, 2017, at 4:32:51

I see. So this really could be a burden for your father. Maybe if you dealt with it together or got some outside help?

 

Re: Can i burden my 78 year old father with problems?

Posted by Lamdage22 on August 3, 2017, at 5:54:34

In reply to Re: Can i burden my 78 year old father with problems?, posted by baseball55 on August 2, 2017, at 19:12:57

I have outside help. My father has the opinion that i have to suck it up and my mother is quite the opposite. I think i have been too nice in order to be liked by my roommates. The truth is i cant control wether they like me or not.

 

Re: Can i burden my 78 year old father with problems? Lamdage22

Posted by baseball55 on August 4, 2017, at 18:28:28

In reply to Re: Can i burden my 78 year old father with problems?, posted by Lamdage22 on August 3, 2017, at 5:54:34

> I have outside help. My father has the opinion that i have to suck it up and my mother is quite the opposite. I think i have been too nice in order to be liked by my roommates. The truth is i cant control wether they like me or not.
>
> Sounds like a difficult situation. Wish I had some advice. Good luck.

 

Re: Can i burden my 78 year old father with problems?

Posted by rjlockhart37 on August 16, 2017, at 23:28:49

In reply to Re: Can i burden my 78 year old father with problems? Lamdage22, posted by baseball55 on August 4, 2017, at 18:28:28

well....if there's no good vibes and only boring or negative vibes between you and him, then yes that could, but also depends on problems you have, if you think there's a burden, you can create positive vibes, spark up a conversation or sit and watch tv with him and talk about life, but be positive, and not tugging down

i know what burdening people feels like, so stay away from situation that would be like that, you create positive vibes and deal with other problems later on, i learned to never talk about my problems to anyone, i used too and i saw how toxic and burdening that is, so i just keep a smile up and deal with whatever later alone. you could find a friend to vent too about, you know they give you advice and maybe you help them out too and build a relationship

 

Re: Can i burden my 78 year old father with problems?

Posted by alexandra_k on August 18, 2017, at 17:19:37

In reply to Re: Can i burden my 78 year old father with problems?, posted by Lamdage22 on August 3, 2017, at 5:54:34

If your Father thinks you should just suck it up then he might not be the best person to talk to about it (nevermind his age).

My Mother often isn't the best person for me to talk to about various things. My bicycle got stolen. Of course I had an unpleasant response when I discovered that and so on. I worked through it. I dread telling her it got stolen because then I'll be expected to try and help her work through her own unpleasant response to it... More trouble than it's worth, in other words.

He probably just doesn't know what to do.

My experience with communal living is that nobody will do anything unless:

1) There is a system where it is clear what a person is expected to do and when they are expected to do it and accountability for their having done it. E.g., a chore wheel.

2) A particularly 1/2 day or evening where people get together for communal chores (good will can be higher if it culuminates in a shared meal).

3) An externally contracted cleaner.

It might be especially hard getting people to do things if a side-effect of medication is general lethargy / if they are kinda depressed.

It's hard feeling like you have to live in other people's filth. I can resonate with that, rather.

 

Re: Can i burden my 78 year old father with problems?

Posted by Lamdage22 on August 19, 2017, at 8:50:49

In reply to Re: Can i burden my 78 year old father with problems?, posted by alexandra_k on August 18, 2017, at 17:19:37

Yes, it could be the meds. He says he has no advantage from the meds. The guy who is doing best in our dorm doesnt take any meds aside from emergency Promethazine. Unfortunately he was placed on alot of senseless psych meds in his youth but he is recovering. He is taking the Promethazine like 3 times a year. I think that is awesome.

Well the association that is running the dorm has alot of clients. Thats what they told me. That seems to be why nobody was here this week. One of our dorm attendants was on vacation.

I like how i can say my opinion about meds here and still be a valued part of this community. Some people get really hostile over it.


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