Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 1094235

Shown: posts 1 to 16 of 16. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

2017 till the future

Posted by rjlockhart37 on July 28, 2017, at 0:18:49

i've been doing indepth thinking about many things, i'm not just saying or boasting but i'm trying to change again from my previous state, the way i talk to people, the things i do even by myself, it has to change, i've realized how long ago when i posted crazy night posts about mumble jumble making a big deal of 1 timy things, i'm glad i'm not him anymore....it took alot of things to change, including some trauma experiences, but after time it's like i saw the big picture of situation ... why people didnt like me, what i was doing and telling people, it made sense to me after thinking about it. I've learned seeing false ways of viewing life, rerembering how used to think....

so from now on, it's a start to learn to change every night go to sleep and believe you'll be a better/new person everyday. In a way i still have nostalgia of previous times, the early periods during 2004 and 2005, seems like i'm still there and need to go to college, which i'm in college right now, but the time was planned to go to a university, feels like im suppost to go from there.... feels like this timeline is a paradox that was not suppost to happen, like the younger years when i was happy. But this point, i've improved and see things understand why people didnt like me, and considered me strange.

i've got to rid this old ways of doing things, and grow, i encourage you that you can become a new and better person everyday, not like diffrent person as in someone else, but a version of you will be improved and better. You just have a deep, strong emotion that you will become better, and you never let go of it, like plant it down in your memories to never forget it. I need to follow that too, because i have tendancy to just coast through things....think of this is just a thought

that's all, hope the best will happen, don't expect the best to happen all the time, because it does not sometiems, be ready for negetivity to grow

thank you for reading

r

 

Re: 2017 till the future

Posted by rjlockhart37 on July 28, 2017, at 0:25:26

In reply to 2017 till the future, posted by rjlockhart37 on July 28, 2017, at 0:18:49

always forget to edit....
last line:
that's all, hope the best will happen, don't expect the best to happen all the time, because it does not sometiems, be ready for negetivity to grow

didnt write correct but this is personal quote
"it is better to be prepared for the worst case scenario, than to be crushed when positive outcomes do not come to pass"

worst happening, at least you'll be ready, i've had many times crushed when good things didn't happen....

next time : edit posts

 

Re: 2017 till the future

Posted by rjlockhart37 on July 28, 2017, at 0:36:28

In reply to 2017 till the future, posted by rjlockhart37 on July 28, 2017, at 0:18:49

"be ready for negativity to grow"
- ment was being ready for negative experiences that will help you grow, learn things

 

Re: 2017 till the future rjlockhart37

Posted by SLS on July 29, 2017, at 16:44:31

In reply to Re: 2017 till the future, posted by rjlockhart37 on July 28, 2017, at 0:36:28

I hope you continue to grow in directions that make you happy.


- Scott

 

Re: 2017 till the future

Posted by alexandra_k on July 31, 2017, at 1:34:40

In reply to Re: 2017 till the future rjlockhart37, posted by SLS on July 29, 2017, at 16:44:31

Yeah, I hope you continue to grow, too, in ways you approve of. And me, too, I hope that I continue to grow in ways that I approve of. I feel like I've been taking a lot of steps back over the past few years, actually... Thanks for the reminder to keep focus forwards.

My timeline hasn't gone as I wanted it to, either. I feel panicked sometimes that my life is just wasting away... Being wasted away... By a bunch of people who have everything to gain by watching everything about them waste away while they cast their spores to the wind...

But then I think... How many years are we going to live? You and me, RJ, just how old do you think we are gonna get? Are we going to live to 90? 100? 120? There is time for our University Degrees (and maybe even to pay off loans and buy our own homes), yet.

:-)

 

Re: 2017 till the future

Posted by rjlockhart37 on August 2, 2017, at 0:08:10

In reply to Re: 2017 till the future, posted by alexandra_k on July 31, 2017, at 1:34:40

yea we buy are own homes in soon years would be a defiantly bucket list, use babble to make a checklist for the goals each year lol

 

Re: 2017 till the future SLS

Posted by rjlockhart37 on August 2, 2017, at 1:48:09

In reply to Re: 2017 till the future rjlockhart37, posted by SLS on July 29, 2017, at 16:44:31

thank you scott :)

 

Re: 2017 till the future rjlockhart37

Posted by beckett2 on August 2, 2017, at 2:53:09

In reply to 2017 till the future, posted by rjlockhart37 on July 28, 2017, at 0:18:49

Nice to see you. You sound like your doing good. Life is a bit uphill most of the time, but then there are the long stretches of flat grassland with lovely views,

 

Re: 2017 till the future

Posted by Pontormo on August 2, 2017, at 7:21:13

In reply to Re: 2017 till the future rjlockhart37, posted by beckett2 on August 2, 2017, at 2:53:09

I doubt that people are malevolently interested in having any of us waste our lives. More likely, they're focused on themselves and their own lives, and have a vague idea about ours-- most probably misconceived. The person who cares and is responsible for our lives, if anyone is, is us-- and if our lives have been wasted, it's just bad luck, bad circumstances that have conspired, abstractedly or with no intentionality at all, to that effect. Perhaps you got discouraged or profoundly depressed, or disillusioned-- and that dreained away your motivation, your mental acuity, or your common sense-- maybe no one intervened to guide you, not because they harbored ill feelings, but because you simply didn't become an object of their interest, or engagement. These things happen-- not because anyone's out to get us, or takes joy in our languishing, but because of ourselves and the possibilities that the world happens for no reason not to provide.

 

Re: 2017 till the future alexandra_k

Posted by rjlockhart37 on August 2, 2017, at 14:50:15

In reply to Re: 2017 till the future, posted by alexandra_k on July 31, 2017, at 1:34:40

hey alex, im sorry i wrote just a blant awnser, i read that over and sounded like not so good, but yea....i do think university degree could still be an plan, and getting my houses and getting successful careers would be a good goal, it would be a good goal to go after.

 

Re: 2017 till the future

Posted by rjlockhart37 on August 2, 2017, at 15:05:25

In reply to Re: 2017 till the future, posted by Pontormo on August 2, 2017, at 7:21:13

i know what the discourgement and depression came from, but don't want to direct it at anyone, but long ago i was taken off medications that were vital to helping me stay in school, alot of things happened, and after those situations took place, i went into almost a complete darkness, i didnt talk to anyone, just stayed alone and was estranged from the world, if you go back and look at my earlier posts, they would describe it, many years ago....

but i came to a point where ... i didnt want to stay like that, and for many years i was in gloom depression, everything i was doing, someone would control it, and having frequent fights and disagreements. I take responsibility for the things i did, but i had jobs and was removed during those years because i was so depressed and slow in my work, this doctor and a person would not take action and they left me in that condition. and, that is the truth, i had to make a fierce descion to get out of this depression and make it point to move forward. While this doctor would gladly treat other patience, yet left me in a condition were i was incredibly depressed and slow.

I think not anger or resentment got me out, but i realized i have to move forward, and those 2 people would not help me, left in a horrible condition. It's just like....willpower, you finally get to a point were you say go on, like survival technique if your stranded out somewhere

so...i've grown, and am trying to chnage, i never got engaged with anyone, mentor, or becausei was so slow, and feeling hopeless, like i said i got a survival feeling to get up and get going again.....

i think finally getting to a point where making a major descion, despite circumstances ... is what caused me to change

 

Re: 2017 till the future beckett2

Posted by rjlockhart37 on August 2, 2017, at 15:44:47

In reply to Re: 2017 till the future rjlockhart37, posted by beckett2 on August 2, 2017, at 2:53:09

thank you beckett

 

Re: 2017 till the future rjlockhart37

Posted by alexandra_k on August 5, 2017, at 3:44:22

In reply to Re: 2017 till the future alexandra_k, posted by rjlockhart37 on August 2, 2017, at 14:50:15

Hey. Don't worry, I didn't take your answer the wrong way.

I'm sorry you feel like things went off track for you. I'm not sure that I feel like my life was on track and then went off. I have always felt like things were off track for me.

 

Re: 2017 till the future Pontormo

Posted by alexandra_k on August 5, 2017, at 3:57:33

In reply to Re: 2017 till the future, posted by Pontormo on August 2, 2017, at 7:21:13

Did you ever watch 'Big Bang Theory'. Did you see... Whatever episode where Sheldon's mother says 'Aw, c'mon Sheldon, didn't you get your *ss kicked enough for that, as a kid?'

I think there is an element of that.

How he could be... Obstinate, sometimes. The thing to do is the nodding and smiling 'yes sir, no sir, anything you say sir' social smoothing... And I can't / won't do it. I just can't / won't. The whole social game of 'I pat your back so you will pat mine' - I find it psychopathic. I won't play that game.

No matter how much they kick my *ss for it.

People say 'you catch more flies with honey' - but what do they want with catching flies?

I feel like... People who would rather play that game... People who don't get to know me on my merits and come to value the fact that I don't play that game - those are the people whose opinion matters most to me...

But where has it got me in life.

?

So, I don't know.

 

Re: 2017 till the future

Posted by baseball55 on August 5, 2017, at 18:14:03

In reply to Re: 2017 till the future Pontormo, posted by alexandra_k on August 5, 2017, at 3:57:33


The thing to do is the nodding and smiling 'yes sir, no sir, anything you say sir' social smoothing... And I can't / won't do it. I just can't / won't. The whole social game of 'I pat your back so you will pat mine' - I find it psychopathic. I won't play that game.
>

I don't think such "social smoothing" feels like playing a game to most people. Having pleasant interactions with others is, for most people, a joy and enhancing that pleasure by saying positive things makes many people happy.

You seem to think that saying pleasant things goes against people's grain but is done to manipulate and I think this is untrue for most people.

Saying it like it is, or like it seems to you, can create conflict partly because what "it is" and what "it seems to you" are not necessarily the same. There is an expression you hear a lot in 12-step groups about speaking up and telling it "like it is:"

Does it need to be said? Does it need to be said now? Does it need to be said by you?

If you ask yourself these questions, I think you will realize that things often don't need to be said and will not be well-taken. Sometimes it's best to let things go.

 

Re: 2017 till the future

Posted by Pontormo on August 7, 2017, at 5:48:24

In reply to Re: 2017 till the future Pontormo, posted by alexandra_k on August 5, 2017, at 3:57:33

The thing is, that you live in a world where people are fundamentally very selfish, hostile and destructive toward one another-- and if they aren't, it's only because they're covering it up and being phony.. It's a zero sum world where if someone else does well, or is satisfied, it must be because they''ve taken something from others, or demanded genuflection, or sucked up, or smiled and smiled but are really villainous--, and if you're in a situation with them, it's either them or you.

You don't seem to feel the reality of compassion, even if it's mediated by a screen of not yet knowing, or even not yet understanding you, of collaboration, of teamwork, and mutuality. I think that's what often constricts me when I read your posts about roommates, interactions at school, or with people whom you seem to be forced to see for help, or guidance. You always see to imagine that they have your worst interests at heart, and couldn't possibly be well-intentioned-- and you seem them as not as clever or as honest as you imagine that you're being. When they express any sort of helpful or pleasant, or friendly emotion, you immediately are on guard, because you know it's a fraud. But resentment and suspicion aren't any more honest than wishing to be of help, or neighborliness..

I myself have tended to live in a less hopeful and trusting world than I could, but I do realize that I"m creating that world where people are judging me and waiting for me to make a mistake, or are prone to looking down at me. I'm creating it, by living it, acting it out, and finally evoking it.

Not that people don't have the capacity to be unhelpful, indifferent, or even destructive toward others-- but always, it's an interaction. You (or I) act out our worlds, and people are acting out their worlds-- many of which are much more benign than the ones we chose to invoke, and provoke. And they can be influenced by our ill-will and stoniness., our demandingness or our belligerence.

I wish you could feel and sense better emotions in yourself and others. Or that you could sense how active a part you play in making people play that part for you-- but I guess it's always hard to see how we do that-- because it's so subtle and unconscious. I'm sorry I pick on you about it- because you remind me of my own way of making myself into a victim of others-- which isn't your fault.

I wish both of us could wake up from this deprived and self-denying view and see the potential and possibilities around us-- but it's something to work on and look for, I think.


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