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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Lamdage22 on August 7, 2016, at 13:16:23
So i am talented at Golf and often i play with people that have a much higher handicap. And when they are having a meltdown, i feel bad. I dont know what to say and do to make them comfortable.
I suffer with them and i fear that there is going to be a morale against me. I feel bad to play good next to them when they are making 10 yard shots repeatedly and stuff like that. Everybody makes bad shots but sometimes, people completely lose it. What can i do to make my playing mates and ultimately myself comfortable?
Posted by Lamdage22 on August 7, 2016, at 13:24:52
In reply to I dont know what to say when people lose game, posted by Lamdage22 on August 7, 2016, at 13:16:23
Ultimately, i tend to make bad shots, too when it gets to me. I hate to be in the spotlight in any way. I have issues with a capital i.
Posted by alexandra_k on August 16, 2016, at 6:12:55
In reply to Re: I dont know what to say when people lose game, posted by Lamdage22 on August 7, 2016, at 13:24:52
take up yoga?
Seriously...
I don't know what one is supposed to do when ones escape... Becomes infiltrated by people who seem determined to suck you right out of your escape and into their personal ill-copings.
Don't get me wrong, yoga becomes that, eventually.
I am thinking that something along the lines of a 1 month free trial might be about optimal. That allows you enough time to start to become habituated to whatever it is that you are doing... Enough time such that your beginners gains start to stall... And then right about there is where you typically find people are most opposed to your progress...
And you either need to find a solitary activity, indeed, or start over with something where you are initially anonymous... In order to make future gains at all.
People. Most of em. Gotta love em? Apparently... Unclear to me why. Sigh.
Posted by alexandra_k on August 16, 2016, at 6:32:47
In reply to Re: I dont know what to say when people lose game, posted by alexandra_k on August 16, 2016, at 6:12:55
There is something that you are supposed to do...
When people lose game. They are submitting to you, or something. You are supposed to rise to the occasion by... Consoling them? Encouraging them? Something like that. I think.
Basically... It isn't about golf anymore. Or whatever it was that you may have thought it was about. Whatever it was that it was supposed to be about.
It isn't about that, anymore. Instead... It is about you looking after them. Helping them feel better...
Whatever...
________
I'm down on this because... It got to the point where I was questioning whether anything had any value at all... What enabled us to say that one thing had more value than another... And so on... Because I couldn't work on my PhD thesis so very much because other people couldn't manage to wash their dishes with things other than shampoo (if I was lucky)...
Anyway...
There is something about how if you argue with an idiot for long enough then you must start to wonder who the idiot really is...
You really could waste your life trying to engage in rational discourse with the intellectually handicapped. You could find yourself spending most of your life wondering what justifies your regarding them as intellectually handicapped...
Etc etc...
Or you could just walk away. Honestly.
It isn't like you were in the position of being able to help them before, at all...
Just walk away.
And watch the psychopaths take control...
I don't quite understand how people who pretend to be stupid... People who are stupid?? People who feign stupidity... Profiteer quite so much. Hitler's agenda would have progressed so very much further if only he bad picked exceptionally stupid and / or psychopathic mentally ill and Jewish people to advance the cause of 'humanity'.
I think the NZ health system is doing something like that.. I don't entirely understand why. I don't understand why teaching hospitals aren't desirable . Maybe I'm off... I thought that was part of what was going on with the whole research triangle thing... Teaching hospitals.. Providing quality, equitable care.
Here... Things are just going down.. Have gone down the toilet. I don't understand why.
Partly... Seems to be about corruption, yes. And then partly about the idea of just deserts. People made it through the horrid system and out the other side - now's there chance to be horrid...
Partly it does seem to be about psychopaths... Our determination to take out certain kids before degree programs, even. Don't get me wrong... In doing a degree program, I'm starting to see why the hell it is you want your kid taken out first available opportunity. WHy have degree programs deteriorated to that? partly in the name of 'equity'. Sure. Giving degrees to people who can't read and can't write in the name of equity. So they can teach their kids that they don't need to read or to write in order to get a degree in life...
There comes a point where anyone who's not completely insane or severely intellectually handicapped just turns and walks away. Why? Why the f*ck? I don't understand.
Posted by alexandra_k on August 16, 2016, at 6:42:50
In reply to Re: I dont know what to say when people lose game, posted by alexandra_k on August 16, 2016, at 6:32:47
I'm thinking about this song... Something about underwear outside the pants... Certain lines. There was something about how not everyone can grow up with good self esteem. I mean... Who would work in our porn industry / strip clubs? Etc.
I think there is an element of that... Perhaps more than just an element...
One way to get ahead in life is to work on advancing yourself as best you can...
Another way to get ahead in life is to work on hastening others demise. I think this second strategy is something that most people find easier / more convenient.
So lets say you find yourself surrounded by these people... Then you have a bunch of stuff. If you object... What makes you better than them? Etc.
Of course...
Perspective only comes when you appreciate the great lengths that those with money / power have taken to keep their own well out of / away from that dynamic.
That's what brings it home.
That's where the money hits the road. Or whatever. That's where things get real.
People will go on 'what's good what's valuable'...
Look at something they value:
Them selves.
Their kids.
What do they do for that?
Well there we go then.
Go to a doctor and 'what they would do'. Not what they would do for their herd... Their population of care... What they would do for themself. For their kid. What they would do if they cared about life in your position. If they cared about well being... About helping...
Can they even understand the question?
Perhaps...
It's pretty f*ck*ng frightening...
To be honest...
I mean... I can understand the attitude in some spirits... But then... When you get a patient who is... Human.. With respect to displaying / demonstrating features of persons / humanity... When you aren't capable of distinguishing persons from non persons... When everyone is a non-person by default...
Except your kid. Who, uh, isn't exactly one...
What the f*ck has gone wrong with the world??
Posted by alexandra_k on August 16, 2016, at 6:55:55
In reply to Re: I dont know what to say when people lose game, posted by alexandra_k on August 16, 2016, at 6:12:55
I don't know about the people playing badly, think.
Maybe be a bit quiet and take your lead from them...
Are they...
Angry? Sad? I don't know...
I really don't know... Sorry...
Posted by sassyfrancesca on September 15, 2016, at 13:10:44
In reply to I dont know what to say when people lose game, posted by Lamdage22 on August 7, 2016, at 13:16:23
I have never played golf...There is an old saying "not my circus, not my monkeys." It isn't your job to make them feel better.
When someone (adult) goes into a meltdown, I would treat them like you would if they were a child....ignore the outburst.
If you are suffering, you certainly can't enjoy playing.
Posted by Lamdage22 on October 13, 2016, at 8:25:01
In reply to Re: I dont know what to say when people lose game, posted by sassyfrancesca on September 15, 2016, at 13:10:44
Yes. People find the funniest excuses for bad shots and they want you to validate them. Golf is a game of character. If you play golf with people, you get to know them.
This is the end of the thread.
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