Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 1051233

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Re: Psychology assessment

Posted by alexandra_k on September 24, 2013, at 4:47:38

In reply to Psychology assessment, posted by alexandra_k on September 24, 2013, at 0:59:48

Goals.

I'll have to have goals. That are considered appropriate.

Thoughts?

 

Re: Psychology assessment

Posted by alexandra_k on September 24, 2013, at 5:30:34

In reply to Psychology assessment, posted by alexandra_k on September 24, 2013, at 0:59:48

And of course the only win-win solution is for me to reject them.

I'm not entirely sure why I won't.

 

Re: Psychology assessment

Posted by alexandra_k on September 24, 2013, at 5:38:05

In reply to Re: Psychology assessment, posted by alexandra_k on September 24, 2013, at 5:30:34

There is something about control...

Not just here, Aussie too.

But here, too. Something in my file notes about control.

I'm supposed to come to the decision that I don't want their help. So I'm in control of that.

But that is the 'right' decision for me to come to. Because... It isn't a decision, really. I don't have options, really.

But they are supposed to make me believe that I retain control.

I wonder what that is about. I don't understand.

 

Re: Psychology assessment alexandra_k

Posted by Partlycloudy on September 24, 2013, at 16:12:55

In reply to Re: Psychology assessment, posted by alexandra_k on September 24, 2013, at 4:47:38

> Goals.
>
> I'll have to have goals. That are considered appropriate.
>
> Thoughts?

Would these be personal or professional goals, or what you would want to achieve in therapy?

To me, they'd be totally different things.

PC

 

Re: Psychology assessment

Posted by alexandra_k on September 24, 2013, at 21:55:30

In reply to Re: Psychology assessment alexandra_k, posted by Partlycloudy on September 24, 2013, at 16:12:55

therapy goals. that are acceptable to a 1960's cognitive behaviour therapy orientation. and time limited in the first instance. enough, say, for them to feel inclined doing the paperwork to justify seeing me for an initial 6-12 sessions before time for surprise! another psychology assessment...

Am I being slightly facecious? Perhaps... But then... Perhaps not. One never can tell... It is pot luck, you see. I have been allocated. So... There it is. Either we get on... Or... We don't.

I just always feel like there are magic words. I wish... I wish I knew what they were.

 

Re: Psychology assessment alexandra_k

Posted by Poet on September 24, 2013, at 23:06:35

In reply to Re: Psychology assessment, posted by alexandra_k on September 24, 2013, at 21:55:30

Hi Alex,

I wish I knew those magic words,too. One of my therapy goals is not to personalize rejection, I've yet to meet that one as after being turned down for over 100 jobs (11 and counting this year) I can't accept that the perfect person walked in the door right after I slunk out.

My personal goal was to get a job before my birthday, well that came and went. I'll be unemployed for a year in November. So time to give up on that goal.

I agree either you will get on with your therapist or you won't. I lucked out and got on with my first therapist. I'm sorry they make you jump through hoops on fire for the chance to obtain a therapist who might connect with you.

I hope your psychological assessment goes better than you think it will, I'm always negative so I get how hard it is to be positive when the past rejection has hurt you.

Poet

 

Re: Psychology assessment

Posted by alexandra_k on September 25, 2013, at 19:04:40

In reply to Re: Psychology assessment alexandra_k, posted by Poet on September 24, 2013, at 23:06:35

Wow. After spending a bit of time applying for jobs I want to say *well done you* on applying for so many of them! That takes a lot of guts! I'll admit that a lot of my job seeking involved my procrastinating sending off applications. I felt so demoralized... Rejections are hard... I take some kind of solace in the fact that I would have hated most of those jobs - and they would have known that. But, still...

Isn't it strange how we would rather not be rejected even when the situation is only likely to f*ck us up worse so really rejection would be the best thing?

(Like with the Uni here how I practically made them kick me out)

I don't quite understand what it is...

Thanks Poet. Your kind thoughts mean a lot to me.

Mostly this is about... Limitations on the public health system. When a country doesn't have much money but a lot of people think they need psychological treatment... There isn't enough treatment to go around. There also aren't enough treaters to go around. There also aren't enough applicants to the programs... So they needed to lower their entry criterion... THen lower their passing standards... And... Well...

Tragedy of teh commons. Or something.

But is the alternative...

Some people get nothing?

But then... How is this system not doing that already (I mean, that is what I mostly get - nothing)

I don't understand what goes wrong.

 

Re: Psychology assessment

Posted by alexandra_k on September 26, 2013, at 0:28:20

In reply to Psychology assessment, posted by alexandra_k on September 24, 2013, at 0:59:48

Well...

It was okay. She listened. Okay. She didn't ask many questions. Just enough to get me talking.

She said we would have to talk DSM DX at some point...

I have an appointment to see a (different) doc in a couple weeks to talk about medication. Sounded like she would be there for that appointment...

I don't know what to say. It was okay. I can see her again next week.

 

Re: Psychology assessment

Posted by alexandra_k on September 26, 2013, at 18:34:06

In reply to Re: Psychology assessment, posted by alexandra_k on September 26, 2013, at 0:28:20

I feel really fragile right now. In a way that... I don't know that I think it is good.

I need to walk to the clinic. On the way... There is an overpass that I need to walk over. A lot like the one that I jumped off. I don't like that. I don't like that that is there. It is much busier. And I remember being very conscientious before, about the lights, so that I didn't cause any car crashes. This one is over the motorway proper so there isn't a break in the traffic. So I... I wouldn't. Even without that. I wouldn't. I'm fairly. Almost sure.

I saw a KFC by the clinic yesterday. I haven't had KFC in years... But I walked back in the evening. Just to see about how I felt about that overbridge I guess. I am almost sure I wouldn't. But I don't like that it is there.

I don't like that I'm in this place again. Of feeling very very small and very very vulnerable and fragile. Of feeling that (being very afraid to admit that) there could be some kind of risk of my externalizing intense pain again... I guess it is pain of rejection. Of being dismissed.

I got to reading the archives a bit last night. Which... Gets me reminiscing, rather. And I see a lot of potential for me to go back, yeah...

With my T in Australia. Well... We figured out on the interview that I saw him for a while, yeah. What was it... Like... 4 years or something... The archives... I remember finding... That beneath the painful feelings. Beneath the unacceptable feelings. There is nothing there. It is like I dissolve out into the ether. And it is a terrifying place to be. And I need someone to hold me together. And... What is the point? What is the point of going through that? When people want me to get to that keep pushing to get to that and then... They aren't there or they can't be there or whatever. why would I go through the pain of that over and over? What good will come of it? Why? I don't understand. What is it for, what is it about? How the hell is this even supposed to help again? I don't understand.

I WILL work today. Because I must. It is the only thing...

 

Re: Psychology assessment alexandra_k

Posted by Twinleaf on September 26, 2013, at 18:48:19

In reply to Re: Psychology assessment, posted by alexandra_k on September 26, 2013, at 18:34:06

It would be wonderful if there could be someone there for you who felt ( at least for the most part) helpful and strengthening.

 

Re: Psychology assessment

Posted by baseball55 on September 26, 2013, at 19:14:00

In reply to Re: Psychology assessment alexandra_k, posted by Twinleaf on September 26, 2013, at 18:48:19

I know that feeling all too well and still fight it all the time. I now see primarily a social worker who specializes in DBT. She tells me over and over again that I must give myself this care and love. That no adult can expect the unconditional love we are supposed to get as children from other adults. My p-doc, with whom I did therapy for 7 years (I still see him for meds), said basically the same thing over and over. You have to give yourself love and compassion. I had wanted in so desperately from him. I was sick with grief over this.

I still fight and fight this. Sometimes, I feel ready to give up. But so far, I have found enough good things and distractions to keep myself going.

Good luck to you. Hopefully, this therapist will help. I think, on the whole, it is better to talk it out and try to learn to cope than it is to repress it and deny it by yourself. If you try to repress it, it just rises up at some point and you find you have no coping skills to handle the pain.

 

Re: Psychology assessment Twinleaf

Posted by alexandra_k on September 27, 2013, at 0:02:52

In reply to Re: Psychology assessment alexandra_k, posted by Twinleaf on September 26, 2013, at 18:48:19

> It would be wonderful if there could be someone there for you who felt ( at least for the most part) helpful and strengthening.

Thank you. That is kind of you. I am very aware that these initial sessions are part of an intake interview. I don't know whether she will agree to work with me or not. I do take some kind of comfort in that I could say some stuff in that first session that... Needed to be said. About how I prefer to think to work towards an ideal rather than fixing a dysfunction. Stuff like that. Important for... Me being authentic. It was good that I was able to do that. That I didn't get lost in trying to make her want to work with me. Which of course only ends up badly down the track. Maybe she will work with me. I don't know. We will see.

 

Re: Psychology assessment

Posted by alexandra_k on September 27, 2013, at 0:10:26

In reply to Re: Psychology assessment, posted by baseball55 on September 26, 2013, at 19:14:00

> I know that feeling all too well and still fight it all the time.

I wonder if everybody gets that feeling. If it is the same feeling for all of us. Or if different people get different feelings. Different pathologies or whatever. Deep down... Past all the defenses... Whatever it is that we defending against. That. I wonder if it is the same for all of us.

It isn't the feeling of death - is it? I used to think it would be nice to be buried. Then over time one would be dispersed. Into parts of a tree and so on. But now... I don't know.

Plastination for the win?

Being all scraped by little hands in China?

> I think, on the whole, it is better to talk it out and try to learn to cope than it is to repress it and deny it by yourself. If you try to repress it, it just rises up at some point and you find you have no coping skills to handle the pain.

Maybe... Maybe that is true.

I did a little reading. Turns out psychology / psychotherapy has progressed in my absense much as my field in philosophy has / did. That is a good thing. Anyway... I found something on activation of the attachment system. That is it. That is why I function best... Without relationships. Without the activation of the attachment system. Activating it is... A bad idea.

I guess the thing to do is for me to be honest with her next week about how I felt after the meeting. I maybe won't say about the overpass... But that feeling... I guess it is about bringing some of those DBT skills back online... Learning the ability to focus. Doing work despite just wanting to curl up and rock rock rock rock rock the pain away. Can I? I don't know. It was a fairly endless battle in Aussie, too... I.. Well... I don't know that I ever did manage to work appropriately.

Whatever is to be done?

 

Re: Psychology assessment

Posted by alexandra_k on September 27, 2013, at 0:22:49

In reply to Re: Psychology assessment, posted by alexandra_k on September 27, 2013, at 0:10:26

He always wanted me to feel that pain in session. And he'd be right there, sitting leaning forwards on the edge of his chair. With me. In the pain.

And... I didn't like it. That feeling. And I didn't know how I felt about him being there with me. Partly it felt obscene. Inappropriate. But partly it pulled me a little way out of myself... Or out of the situation... Or out of the feeling... Or something... His just being there. Being calm about it all. Knowing... That the pain was important.

And he would just let me talk... About whatever. And mostly he didn't say an awful lot. But he was always on the look out for when I'd finally shut the f*ck up and just feel it.

But I couldn't seem to put it away outside the session. I'd spend most of the rest of the day curled up... Stuck in that feeling. Over and over... Or looking for stuff to read to help me make sense of it...

Not working.

Or I'd get to the gym. And I'd always end up getting carried away. Intense session. Then sleep... Comatose sleep for the rest of the day.

I think it did help the pain be a little less outside the session. When I'd feel it... I'd kind of feel him there... And It would help. Kind of. That someone accepted that I did feel like that. And it didn't freak him out or whatever. And he didn't have to fix it. But that he wanted to be there with me. Through that. Partly it helped.

But then he didn't think of me outside therapy really at all... And I guess the real problem was that I couldn't put it away. Why can't I dissociate better? If I'm supposed to be so good at that? I don't understand.

How can I get myself into better ritual / routine? I don't know.

 

Re: Psychology assessment alexandra_k

Posted by Twinleaf on September 27, 2013, at 6:12:17

In reply to Re: Psychology assessment, posted by alexandra_k on September 27, 2013, at 0:22:49

I think problems as central to our well-being as the one you are describing take years, rather than months to resolve. We can probably never eliminate the pain entirely, but reducing it can make a big difference. It sounds as though you made a pretty good start with her.

 

Re: Psychology assessment

Posted by alexandra_k on September 27, 2013, at 19:35:07

In reply to Re: Psychology assessment alexandra_k, posted by Twinleaf on September 27, 2013, at 6:12:17

thank you twinleaf.

i am feeling better today. i am working, today. i get into it... and i feel good. about myself. about life. i don't know why i can't get into it sometimes... top down control of attention. sigh.

one of my friends just got a 1 year post-doc at a very good medical school doing work as part of an inter-disciplinary team on modelling. holy f*ck. happy for him! happy for philosophy more generally! (you don't need to go to medical school people keep telling me... what do you want to go to medical school for? people keep at me...)

i think...

i perhaps wasn't entirely honest with my t in Aussie and that was the problem there. i didn't tell him how much our sessions really took it out of me. like, for the rest of that day at least. so... seeing him twice a week... what we did was a bit too intense. i... didn't have coping skills properly in place.

i have trouble with the whole dbt thing because of the terminology that is cultish etc etc etc. but the general idea of it... of priorities: suicidal stuff, therapy interfering stuff, (other stuff to be arranged)...

well... obviously... i need my work to feature there. if i'm not getting appropriate amounts of work done then the session needs (painfully) to stay focused on that and not go any deeper until my work is getting done again. functioning... needs to be a priority.

and part of it is about my using the skills.

9 months. was what i got out of dbt. and only got the skills for 1 run through rather than 2. i'm like 'that is cool' - i mean most public education is sooooooooo f***********ck*ng paiiiiiiiiinfully slooooooooow. but this is different. anything involving the attachment system is.

i get it now.

i've been hurt a lot during times of emotional intimacy. hit. or sexually abused. or whatever. so i freak out when there is emotional intimacy. i want it... but it freaks me out. so i can't really handle it. that was what my t was trying to do. exposure. getting me to be there in the moment with him. and he just had to... not hurt me. not freak out. and he was good like that. calm. and he didn't take it personally when i freaked out and ran away etc etc etc.

but it was too much.

i guess the idea of hospital is to speed up that initial part of the process and really keep an eye on you to get you functioning. i see the sense in it. if (of course) the clinician is planning on sticking around to do the work after... i don't know what (if anything) i'll get here...

but i guess i should talk to her about this. and yes... about the over-bridge. because... well... neither of us want anything like that to happen.

it might be that i'm too sick for psychotherapy. we will see.

 

Re: Psychology assessment

Posted by baseball55 on September 27, 2013, at 22:22:16

In reply to Re: Psychology assessment, posted by alexandra_k on September 27, 2013, at 0:22:49

I think it is not true that they don't think of you at all outside of sessions. They do need to let you go to some degree so they can lead their own lives. But when I've been in real distress, my p-doc has been on the phone calling my husband, calling me, calling hospitals. My SW said she worried so much about me that her peer-supervsion group recommended she refer me out.

So they do care, do worry, do think about you outside of sessions. It's only if you become too much for them to handle that they will reject you and refer you. I have friends who are therapists and they tell me that they can only handle one or two patients at a time who are suicidal and emotionally draining. Not because they don't care, but because they care too much and need to limit the emotional involvement to a level consistent with having a life of their own.

I think you should tell the T about the overpass, but, unless you are actively suicidal, should convey that this is not an immediate threat but just something that passed through you mind and that you would like help in coping with. Don't be dishonest. Don't withhold information. But test the waters if you are actively suicidal.

If you are, ask to be sent to inpatient care, so they can relax and not worry about you. Taking on an actively suicidal patient is a huge commitment for a therapist.

 

Re: Psychology assessment baseball55

Posted by alexandra_k on September 29, 2013, at 22:41:37

In reply to Re: Psychology assessment, posted by baseball55 on September 27, 2013, at 22:22:16

I think maybe different therapists are different. I suspect most do think of their clients outside sessions. Which is why most do need to limit the number of very sick patients that they have. Which is a huge part of why it is that not many people will agree to work with me. I do think my last t was different... I think that that difference was what made him able to work with so many dissociative patients... I do believe... He was better at dissociating than I was... He was also able to be more in the moment, so I see why that part of therapy was appealing to him... But he seemed able to switch out of that at the end of the session whereas I could not.

The trouble with inpatient care... Is that we always have a significant shortage of beds just trying to keep up with the organically psychotic / catatonic individuals who just need a little bit of time before their meds kick in... That was why we eventually got DBT... Because it promised to keep a big chunk of people out of hospital. Hospital is typically not an option unless I'm in total crisis. Even then... It is variable. It depends on the severity / nature of the other cases...

So any clinician who agrees to work with me knows that that might well not be an option. So... Most won't go near me with a barge pole. Or... Well... Sometimes I do get clinicians who don't seem concerned by anything... That is worrying because typically they don't understand anything at all about how fragile I am.

They... I guess p-doc has happily fallen into an avoidant attachment kind of thing with me... Neither of us is particularly happy to see the other. There is a numbness / deadness to our interaction. T saw that... And she is seeming to be careful to stand side on etc etc etc... Isn't concerning herself about my not looking at her etc etc. At the end... When I asked her her name and looked at her (so I could reidentify her next time) she looked... Sheepish or something.

Unobtrusive.

That is what I am getting.

That is good. They need to be careful with me. Trouble is... ANy more careful... And they wouldn't even be there at all.

Sheepish... Unobtrusive... That isn't quite it.

Her heart sank. I saw that a little bit of her heart sank that I sort of connected / reached out to her just a little bit. I guess because it showed that part of me did want to engage with therapy. I wasn't totally dismissing her (I have had poor-fit relationships before where I could never reach out to them at all). I guess because she knows she's only going to hurt me really. IT would be better if i were properly autistic.

 

Re: Psychology assessment

Posted by alexandra_k on September 29, 2013, at 22:57:47

In reply to Re: Psychology assessment baseball55, posted by alexandra_k on September 29, 2013, at 22:41:37

I get stuck in the freeze / startle. Part of me inside. I feel it and it is just kind of stuck there. Like a sore toe or something. There. I can't distract myself from it or anything. It is just there. I just want to curl up around it into a tight little ball and maybe rock... And I just feel it... That feeling... And there are tears but they are mostly silent. And the pain comes and goes. Sometimes wailing... Like the wind when there is a storm. And sometimes tears like the rain. But this pain... And that is all there is. I can be stuck like that for hours... For days...

And I don't know how to put it away and do other things. Get on with life. Write. Do other stuff. I don't know.

If I had external structured thing to be doing... I think I would do them. I just can't bring myself to get into my work. I don't have the will / resolve. Like getting up in the mornings. If I have to get up to get to a class or something I'll do it. Otherwise... I feel tired. So I go back to sleep / doze. Even though what is good for me is to get up and make coffee... That my state will change if I just get up... Get up... I can't find the will. I get stuck.

I've done a little bit of work... But mostly I feel stuck. It is amazing... In hospital... I usually manage to get quite a bit of work done. I'm not sure what about it is facilitating. In the evenings... Because there are issues around my having a computer on the ward... Either I can use it in my room in the evenings or I can use a room in the evenings or I can get leave to go work in the main part of the hospital... I can get quite a lot done... But the daytimes... Are mostly about the pain... Then gradually being vulerable with vulnerable people... Hanging out with them... Peaceful and quiet and sensitive... Unobtrusive. That is the word for the day.

 

bye bye t

Posted by alexandra_k on October 3, 2013, at 17:11:19

In reply to Re: Psychology assessment, posted by alexandra_k on September 29, 2013, at 22:57:47

i got offered a studio apartment in the city from mid-november! i am a little anxious since i need to pay a fee to secure it and it will take me a few days to sort that out... but i am cautiously optimistic.

i can default on the fee if i get a better offer, too. which is good, because university accommodation might come through for me or a better option might come along (starting to get a sense of the different buildings so i can make more of an informed choice. i think i might hang out down there and ask people how they like living there and what they like about it...)

(surely i have better things to be doing with my time - not)

anyway... the point being... a city residential address will place me under a different community mental health team. so... bye bye t. nice having you assess me.

she asked me what i wanted to do... turns out the assessment was about our assessing whether we would fit. now that i'm leaving she is full of 'we could have offered you x y and z'. i'm not under any illusions that these would likely come through for me if i were to stay...

she was more talky this week. we are not a Very Good fit. but things might be manageable. i feel like i need to educate her on certain things that is slightly worrying for me (like how giving a dx label is giving a dx label it is not an explanation) - but she seems to get what i'm saying in the end and (perhaps) agrees. i'd just... rather not having to explain this to someone i'm working with. i'd rather they have worked through it themself and have come to similar conclusions in virtue of the working through (c'mon people the academic field is in consensus ffs). or... if they have a different take... that they have reasons (that they think about things, in other words).

but... she got there in the end and seemed to understand. ditto wanting to read my file (which says more about the clinicians who wrote it than about me). she got it in the end.

she wanted history of drug use. of course she did. because i have a medication appointment with the doc next week (she will come). i... was honest. holy f*ck. i've been a fairly serious drug abuser from 13 until... well... if you count the perhaps 4 nights per week binge drinking in aussie (socially acceptable) ... until i moved back to NZ really. a year or two ago. and poppys and mushrooms following seasonal variation for a number of years before i left for aussie... i never really... anyway... integrated i am. yay.

yay.

perhaps... t did help me more than i ... am aware.

it feels better knowing that i'm leaving come november. new team. new peeps. so much for 'continuity of care' with the transition, though, sigh.

 

Re: bye bye t

Posted by Dr. Bob on October 4, 2013, at 12:47:05

In reply to bye bye t, posted by alexandra_k on October 3, 2013, at 17:11:19

> perhaps... t did help me more than i ... am aware.
>
> it feels better knowing that i'm leaving come november. new team. new peeps. so much for 'continuity of care' with the transition, though, sigh.

You're sure you want to move?

Bob

 

Re: bye bye t alexandra_k

Posted by Poet on October 4, 2013, at 14:37:21

In reply to bye bye t, posted by alexandra_k on October 3, 2013, at 17:11:19

Hi Alex,

> i got offered a studio apartment in the city from mid-november! i am a little anxious since i need to pay a fee to secure it and it will take me a few days to sort that out... but i am cautiously optimistic.
>
> i can default on the fee if i get a better offer, too. which is good, because university accommodation might come through for me or a better option might come along.

Since I am unemployed, I think about financial matters, so my questions are when is the security fee due? Also, financially can you afford to pay it and possibly not live there and not get a refund if you default?

> anyway... the point being... a city residential address will place me under a different community mental health team. so... bye bye t. nice having you assess me.

It seems to me that your new T is trying to work with you, do you think that staying where you are and hoping that student housing comes through would be a possibility. I mean which is more important for you mentally and physically: living alone or staying where you are and working with your new T until near by housing opens up. (Keep in mind I don't know how often University accommodations come up.) I know how much you value privacy and quite (as do I) so I can get that you might be conflicted.


> it feels better knowing that i'm leaving come november. new team. new peeps. so much for 'continuity of care' with the transition, though, sigh.
>

I agree, change can be good.

Keep us posted.

Poet

 

Re: bye bye t

Posted by alexandra_k on October 4, 2013, at 18:46:09

In reply to Re: bye bye t alexandra_k, posted by Poet on October 4, 2013, at 14:37:21

I am sure that I want to be in the city for when classes start next year. I suppose I am less sure about whether now is the best time to commit to something. 12 month leases (renewable), either way.

Apparently I'll hear whether I've been offered a place in University Accommodation mid-October. I think, now, after much angst, that I should wait until I've heard back from them.

I couldn't afford to apply for a studio with University Accommodation. I applied for 'apartment style, 1-4 'matched' others, returning (year 2+ students). They told me they have had a few 25+ applicants. It is a brand new building - but that means we can't move in until early March. It is the same price as the studio - but internet is included. I may be able to pick up Uni Wireless from the studio, though.

I got excited about the thought of having my very own space from mid-November - not having to share with people. Getting away from the rowdy folk over here. Really having time to get settled in before classes start next year. I'm also afraid that I won't get offered a place with University Accommodation and that I'll miss out on the studio. Accommodation services seemed to think the studio (in this particular building) was the best option for me - but they also try and persuade people to take up alternative offers if possible to relieve pressure on them since they need to reject over half their applicants.

I can't view the studio or any of the floors right now because they are totally full. I think perhaps I should try and postpone making a decision on that until I've heard back from University Accommodation. Classes finish mid-November - so they may well have a number of vacancies around then. I'll have to hope that the students who miss out on University Accommodation postpone making alternative arrangements so I have time to get in.

I was thinking that the studio would be best. But... The price I'm looking at... Realistically... I will be able to hear my neighbours so it will matter to me who they are. There is a lot of difference between 2nd year (25+) University Students and a bunch of international students doing a 6 week course in English as a Second Language. And in the studio I am more likely to be surrounded by the later. And much as I grump about shared bathrooms / kitchens... I did get a lot from my time in shared student accommodation in Aussie... And even NZ before I left... So, yeah. Hold off making a decision for a week or two. And maybe... I'll be stuck here until March.

The initial information she sent me... I was told that a $150 non-refundable application fee was payable and bond, key bond, 1 week in advance was payable on arrival. I guess I thought $150 to secure the place was a small price to pay for my not having to worry about missing out on University Accommodation and the Studio both. So when I said I'd do that - she said it would also be 1 week in advance ($250) to secure the place. Which is fair (since typically rent is paid 2 weeks in advance). But it makes the cost of defecting that much higher... Too high for me to be prepared to pay, I think. Certainly without seeing the place.

?

I don't know how hard accommodation is to find in the city... I also got offered a $185 room with 6 people sharing 2 bathrooms and a kitchen with 2 security cameras in the kitchen and some drugged out looking dude frying eggs...

Thanks for helping me work it through. I can't hit up University Accommodation again since they need to believe I'm currently residing in a different region in order for them to consider me for a place at all... and I don't actually have anyone who knows about accommodation in the city to ask... I think... I have decided what to do.

Once I'm in University Accommodation I can stay there indefinitely. It will be a habitable living environment. Responsive to WHO health standards etc at the very least. Responsive to reason. I should do everything in my power to secure that. Flatmates... Bah, humbug.

 

Re: bye bye t

Posted by alexandra_k on October 4, 2013, at 19:08:43

In reply to Re: bye bye t, posted by alexandra_k on October 4, 2013, at 18:46:09

Where I was before in NZ we had different teams - but they were different teams within the same regional service. Changing teams wasn't a big deal - I moved a couple times seeking a better fit with clinicians. I guess I thought that this would be a case of that and that maybe T even worked a day or two in the city... Only it isn't a case of that. It is a different regional service. Which is... I don't know... Perhaps the NZ equivalent of moving state.


But yes, I need to move. I need to be able to walk to Uni. I don't know who thought it was a good idea to put the University in the city... But there it is... And so since my funding ran out / I couldn't find suitable work in Aussie... And since Otago didn't want me (and only gave me one shot at applying)... There I must be.

 

Re: bye bye t Poet

Posted by alexandra_k on October 4, 2013, at 19:32:25

In reply to Re: bye bye t alexandra_k, posted by Poet on October 4, 2013, at 14:37:21

thanks for your reply. didn't sleep much last night... trying to work this through...

Yes. I think University Accommodation would be the best option for me if I can get it. Even though it means I'm stuck here until March. I was hoping to move out of here ASAP so got excited about the possibility of November... I don't think I can afford to move twice.

I guess I thought the studio would offer me privacy... But I don't actually know that because I don't know how thin the walls are etc.

In Aussie... I had a shared bathroom that was technically... 1 of the 5 showers shared between around 15 people. I... Never had to wait for anybody to get out of it, though, and with cleaners through every day I always found it spotless. Shared a kitchen with around 30 people and always got it to myself at 2am... Lived with one other human being in a house and I couldn't for the life of me EVER get to use the kitchen without him coming in and chattering at me... I guess what I'm saying is that you can't simply read off how much privacy you will get sometimes... Especially if I do get stuck with a bunch of ESL students... Who spend all day in class trying to speak English... They tend to get quite rowdy talking whatever their native tongue is in the evenings... I bet...

Sigh.

And there I was getting all motivated to move and stuff.



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